Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
EILIDH
I t had been a rare day in the Highlands. Summer had come a wee bit early and since Fyfe had Millie all day, I had time to myself to soak up the hot spring sun. I’d taken a lounger and side table out of my parents’ storage at the back of the annex and planted it in their back garden. With the sea ahead of me, light glistening on the water, the heat on my skin, I’d lain there and enjoyed the soothing, rhythmic lull of the waves hitting the coastline below. Throughout the afternoon, I vacillated between napping and making notes about my script.
It was the first day in such a long time that I felt truly relaxed.
However, Millie and Fyfe were never far from my thoughts. I was eager to discover how they’d gotten on today. He hadn’t said why he was taking the day off work, other than he had some errands to run and he wanted to do them with Millie. Thinking that was so sweet and I was so proud of him I could barely stand it, I didn’t question Fyfe any further.
After dragging myself off the lounger just as Mor and Mum arrived home, I tidied everything away and grabbed my phone from the annex. To my surprise, I had several missed calls from both Fyfe and Cameron.
And a text from each.
Fyfe:
Sorry to bother you, but we need to talk. Can you come around to the house this afternoon?
Cameron:
We need to talk. My place? Six thirty?
Bloody hell.
Deciding to text Cameron later, I popped my head into the house to let Mum and Mor know I was heading over to Fyfe’s before I jumped into my G-Wagon.
I remembered Fyfe’s reaction when he saw the vehicle for the first time.
He’d hooted at the sight of it, chuckling as he rounded the four-by-four.
“What?” I’d mock scowled at him.
“We know you’ve got money, Eils. You don’t need to prove it.”
“It’s secondhand!”
“Aye, and I know how much a secondhand G-Wagon costs. They don’t depreciate like other vehicles.”
My cheeks were hot at his teasing. “I’m not showing off. I like it. I like being high off the ground and seeing farther along the road.”
“Defender. Wrangler. Those ring a bell? They’re high off the ground.”
“Everyone around here drives a Defender or a Wrangler. I like to be different. And this is a hybrid, so it’s more eco-friendly.”
He’d given me a tender smile. “I know, sweetheart. It actually suits you.”
“Well, now I don’t know how to take that.”
He’d considered the vehicle and then me. “It’s a Highlander wearing Louis Vuitton.”
At that, I’d burst out laughing.
Even now it made me smile.
That smile, however, disappeared rapidly when Fyfe opened the door to me fifteen minutes later. Although his demeanor was calm, there was a hardness in his eyes that made me wary. Following him into the living space, I strolled over to Millie’s cot to make sure she was okay. Fyfe had bought another cot and put it in the second bedroom. We were in the process of turning the smaller room into a nursery. All of us were coming together next weekend to decorate it.
Millie was asleep in the living room cot. The urge to reach down to touch her was something I had to physically fight. This wee girl had crawled into my heart so quickly. Every time I thought about Pamela abandoning her, I was heartbroken for Millie. But also worried for Pamela, a stranger I’d never met. I couldn’t believe that giving up Millie hadn’t greatly affected her. Even if she thought it was for the best. It couldn’t be easy.
I didn’t say that to Fyfe.
He was too upset for Millie to be sympathetic toward her mother and I understood where he was coming from. Unfortunately, he knew exactly how Millie’s mother’s abandonment would affect her as she grew old enough to understand.
The difference was, though, unlike Fyfe, Millie would have a father who would never willingly leave her. I knew she was going to be all right. Better than all right.
“What’s going on?” I asked quietly, stepping away from her cot.
“Yesterday, you mentioned you asked your team for that file they kept.”
“The dodgy creep file,” I said with more casualness than I truly felt about the existence of such a thing.
“Aye.”
“What of it?”
“I think it’s time my people looked through it. We’ve come to a dead end with the cameras. They were purchased as stock by a guy in London who sells out the back door. Any customers who don’t want to leave a trail, they pay in cash and there’s no digital footprint. The cameras themselves aren’t especially sophisticated. They have to link to an app via the internet, so whoever planted them was piggy-backing off the internet connection in your building. Unfortunately, we couldn’t trace them through that because they must have known right away when the cameras were compromised.”
“You’re kidding me?” I sighed in exasperation. “What now?”
“We comb that file. See if there’s any information that could remotely be connected to someone having access to your flat to plant those cameras. We follow every lead.”
The thought of Fyfe reading about what some of these sleazy creeps thought of me made my stomach revolt. “ You’re not going to look through it, are you?”
His eyes narrowed. “Only if my team brings something to my attention. I … I’d lose my mind if I had to read through all that stuff.”
I nodded, crossing the room to lean against the other side of the island. I searched his face. “Is that what you needed to talk about so urgently?”
Fyfe rounded the island with a sudden look of determination, and my pulse jumped as he stopped inches from me. I straightened, again wary of his proximity and overall demeanor as I turned toward him. “I took Millie to the doctor today.”
“Is she okay?” My gaze flew to her in panic.
“It was a checkup. And an introduction to her new doctor. Though I think I’ll be asking to see another doctor next time we visit.”
Sudden understanding dawned. “Oh.”
The muscle in his strong jaw flexed. “When were you going to tell me you were seeing that guy?”
He spat that guy like they were dirty words. Guilt I wasn’t sure I should feel flushed through me. “I’m sorry you found out like that. We’ve only been on a few dates.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Well, your doctor seems to think you two are boyfriend and girlfriend. Very serious.”
I ignored his mocking tone because I was concerned by the information he’d just relayed. “Cameron said that?”
“He called you his girlfriend. And said you were getting serious.”
“He said that?” Dread filled the pit of my stomach.
“Aye.” Fyfe stepped into my personal space. I had to lean back against the island to avoid contact. But he braced his hands on the counter at either side of me, his body flush to mine as I tipped my head back in surprise. The hardness was gone in his dark eyes, replaced with something fiery and hot.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, pressing my palms to his firm chest and then dropping my hands like he was on fire because, whoa, he had pecs .
“Tell me how you confess your love for one man one week and start dating another the next?”
He was angry with me?
Was he joking?
“I’ll tell you how,” I seethed between clenched teeth, my cheeks hot with not-so-old humiliation and hurt. “You get over the first guy when he tells you he can never love you back.”
Fyfe licked his lips, his chest heaving a little as if he couldn’t quite catch his breath. Then he cupped my face, his palms rough against my skin. I gaped at him as he bent his head to mine, his voice rasping as he said, “We need to talk about that, sweetheart.”
No, no, no! “There’s nothing to say.”
“I fucked up.” His words were gruff, thick with emotion. “I was blind. I let myself be blind. But I’m seeing more clearly than ever.”
No.
Was he saying what I?—
“No!” I yanked his hands off my face. “Don’t.” Fear of being played, of having a heart that was still bloody broken ripped apart again by this man, had me shoving at his chest.
He was a solid wall of muscle trapping me against the island.
“Eilidh—”
“No!” I yelled in his face and he didn’t even flinch. “You don’t get to decide you want me because some other guy has me. I’m not a toy.”
“Does he have you?” Fyfe glowered.
“None of your business.”
“Have you slept with him?”
“How fucking dare you,” I hissed. “Get out of my way.”
Relief softened his expression. And there was a tiny hint of smugness there too. “You haven’t slept with him.”
Ugly resentment bubbled over. “Doesn’t mean I won’t.”
His eyes flashed with jealousy. Then his cheek brushed mine and his hands gripped my hips. Fyfe’s lips touched my ear. “If you fuck him, I dare you not to close your eyes and imagine it’s me inside you.”
That dream, that bloody vivid sex dream I had all those months ago, popped into my head. There had been dreams of Fyfe since, but none had felt as real as that. Arousal flushed through me, my lower belly trembling with it.
Bastard!
With all my strength, I pressed my palms to his chest and shoved him away.
Fyfe didn’t even stumble as he took a step back, gaze hungry, like he knew exactly how my body reacted to his words.
“Go fuck yourself,” I spat before I marched toward the front door.
“I’d rather fuck you!” he called.
I stumbled and whirled around. “You did not just say that.”
His expression was determined as he strode toward me, but I held up my hands, warding him off. Fyfe halted, frustration evident in every bristling line of his body. “Look, I can admit I was jealous when that prick said he was dating you. But I don’t want you because someone else has you.”
“He doesn’t have me,” I couldn’t help but insert breathlessly.
“I know he doesn’t have you. I know you, Eilidh.” Fyfe’s countenance turned pained. “When you told me you loved me, I truly believed that I wasn’t worthy of it. That I couldn’t protect that love. Or be what you deserve. But … a lot has changed in the last few weeks. Maybe I’m not the man I thought I was. Maybe I can be better. Maybe … I can try to be worthy of someone as extraordinary as you. All I know is, when you’re here with me and Millie, it feels right. The thought of you moving on with someone else scares the shit out of me.”
Oh.
I understood now.
Crushing disappointment flooded in and my words were cooler than I intended as I replied, “A competent nanny will provide that same sense of security.” I turned and rushed toward the door.
“Eilidh, please!”
Millie’s cries filled the house. I winced, guilt riding me, as I used the distraction to flee the man who had broken my heart more times than I cared to admit.