Chapter 33
Kai leans into my neck and whispers, “Merry Christmas.”
I stir in my sleep, opening my eyes. Light is shining in from the window, helping my mood. The past week has been cloudy, with no sun, and snowstorm after snowstorm. That weather didn’t help my depressed mood. I’m glad to see some light shine down on us.
“Merry Christmas,” I tell him. This is the first Christmas I haven’t spent with my family.
It feels weird. My life changed overnight.
I knew this day would come, but now that it’s here, I can’t explain the empty feeling I have.
But knowing I have Kai and this little bean growing inside me helps fill the emptiness.
He’s my family now. It’s just the three of us.
Even with everything going on, I wish my mom would let me come over and see her and Bryn. It’s been a week since I told her I was pregnant. I haven’t spoken to her.
After she told me to pack my things, she went upstairs and shut her bedroom door while I packed my stuff.
I said goodbye to Bryn and told her I was going to a friend's house for a while. Through her sleepy eyes, she looked sad but never questioned anything, and then she fell back into sleep. I didn’t mention the pregnancy since my mom said she didn’t want us to follow my dad's bad example. I don’t think my mom will want Bryn to know because I’m the bad example now.
I left without another word, and we haven’t spoken since.
Kai and I stumble our sleepy bodies into the living room. The aroma of coffee surrounds the apartment; Kevin must be awake already.
Our tiny Christmas tree, which is more like a bush, stands in the corner.
Kevin and Kai didn’t have a Christmas tree.
It didn’t surprise me. So one day, when they were both at work, I went to the forest area in the back of the apartments and found this tree.
I found lights and a few decorations at the Dollar Store and decorated the living room.
When they walked in from work, I had so much excitement on my face—until Kevin laughed his ass off at the attempt I made to make this Christmas a little better. Kai was appreciative.
I still don’t know how they are related.
“Here.” Kevin hands me a cup of coffee. I look at the cup and then to Kevin, questioning why he’s being nice. “It’s Christmas. The least I can do is be nice today,” he says with a cheery smile.
“Thanks.”
“It’s mostly milk, since you’re pregnant.”
How does he know pregnant women shouldn’t drink a lot of caffeine? I only found this out at my first ultrasound appointment. Instead of pressing my luck and questioning him, I drop it.
One positive thing out of all of this is that I started drinking coffee.
Of course, I limit myself. Having the nutty, chocolaty taste hit my taste buds in the morning is something I can’t describe.
If I weren’t pregnant, I would probably drink this like water.
I’m glad my baby agrees with me on this one because he or she has yet to force me to puke it out.
“Do you want to open your gift?” Kai hands me a small square box wrapped in red wrapping paper.
Since we’re now saving for an apartment. I didn’t want us to buy any gifts, but Kai insisted we get something small for each other, so Christmas could still feel like Christmas. We agreed to spend only fifty bucks on each other.
It’s Kevin and Kai’s first Christmas without their parents, too. I feel a little comforted knowing we’re all going through the same thing.
I lift the top of the ring box open and find a small, delicate silver ring with an infinity sign. Engraved on the sign is forever and ever. I gasp, looking up at Kai. “This is perfect.”
I lean in and kiss him.
“It’s not a lot. But one day, I’ll give you more.”
“I love it.” I get up and grab his present. "Here, open mine.” In the corner of my eye, I notice Kevin rolling his eyes. At least he’s staying quiet.
“Oh, nice,” he says excited and lifts it to show Kevin. I bought him the Grand Theft Auto video game for his Xbox 360.
Kevin throws a box in between us. “This is from me.” He goes back to the couch and slumps back down.
The second Kai gets the wrapping paper all the way off, Kevin howls out a laugh. He gave us a box of condoms. Why am I even surprised?
“Come on, man,” Kai says.
“You’re a dick,” I say to Kevin.
“What? They may come in handy next time.” He gets off the couch and grabs another present. “It’s all a joke.” He grabs the box of condoms. “I will be using these. Here, this one is something you guys will need.”
Both of us are hesitant to grab the present. I finally reach up and start opening it. Kevin makes it hard to hate him. He’s such an ass, but then he does something like this to make me have a little hope in him. He bought us a pack of white onesies and a couple of pairs of white socks.
“Thank you,” I say. Kai gets up and hugs Kevin.
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s not get all emotional,” Kevin says while patting Kai’s back.
The realization hits me. He’s the first one to buy us anything for our baby. We haven’t even bought anything yet.
“Where are we going?” I ask with a blindfold over my eyes. After we finished opening presents and ate breakfast, Kai told me to get dressed. Then he blindfolded me and walked me outside.
“Walk up a few steps.”
“You better not make me fall.”
“I promise. I won’t.” He stops me from moving. “Wait there. And don’t take off your blindfold.”
I hear the sound of metal clinking together and then a click.
The anticipation of what Kai is doing is killing me.
Kai’s hands gently guide me forward. A feeling of curiosity coursing through me.
He carefully unwraps my blindfold, and my eyes flutter open as I gaze around, taking in the sight of a small square of a white-walled living room with a brick fireplace that someone has painted white.
“What is this?” I keep frequently blinking to see if what I’m seeing is actually here.
“It’s ours.”
“What! How?” I walk into the kitchen. Wooden cabinets line the kitchen. The kitchen is a little smaller than the living room.
“Kevin signed the lease for us.”
I turn to face Kai. “I don’t understand. He already has an apartment.”
“Yeah, but it’s under Mike’s name. It’s only a couple of buildings down from where Kevin is staying, in case the landlord comes by.”
My eyes light up with a wide grin. “So this is ours?” I take a few steps to the hallway. To the right is a bedroom and across from it is a bathroom.
“It’s not much. And it’s pretty small. But it’s something.” He shrugs his shoulders.
I jump into his arms. “It’s perfect.” I release my arms and look at him. “How much is this? Can you afford it?”
“It’s five hundred a month. It’s making things tight, but we’ll figure it out.”
“Are you sure? Cause if you can't, we can stay with Kevin.”
“Uh, well. Kevin is the one who found this. I have a feeling he doesn’t want to be living with a baby.”
“We could have stayed with him to save up more money until the baby comes.”
Kai rubs his temples. “After last weekend, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for us to be staying there.”
My face drops. As nice as it is for him to find this for us, he did it for his benefit.
He threw a Christmas party the weekend before Christmas.
The first weekend I moved in. That week had exhausted me, and I had already thrown up all my food for the day.
All I wanted to do was go to sleep and right as I was falling asleep, the sound of people echoed into the room.
Kai got mad at him, but Kevin was already drunk, so there was no use in saying anything to him.
I wasn’t able to fall asleep until five in the morning, once everyone left.
“I can’t wait to start our family here,” I say.
I wrap my arms around my belly.
Everything will be alright.