Chapter 43
“Where are you going?” I ask. Kai’s been in the bathroom longer than usual when he comes home after work and showers.
“To Kevin’s,” he says as he sprays his Chrome cologne all around his body.
“On a Friday?”
“Yeah,” he says, walking past me into our room.
“So, you’re going out to a party?” I whisper, so I don’t wake Amari up.
He slips on his white Vans before looking up at me. “It’s not a party. Only a few friends are coming over.”
I cross my arms over each other. “Kevin doesn’t ever have just a few friends coming over.”
“Then what does he have?”
“A full-blown party.”
“Think what you want.” He gets up from the bed and starts walking out.
Following behind him, I ask, “What has gotten into you? You’ve changed so much.”
He turns back around and his brows rise. “Why are you making such a big deal about me going out?”
My heart sinks. We grow further apart every single day, and each time I bring it up, he acts like nothing is happening. Either he’s in denial or he doesn’t give a shit.
“Don’t you think I want to go out? I need a break, too.”
“I’ll go out tonight, and you can go out tomorrow.”
“And you’ll watch Amari?”
“Yeah. Who else will?” he says, walking out the door.
I stand frozen in place, surprised by this. It never crossed my mind that he would ever consider that. I know he’s her dad, but lately, he seems so disconnected from the both of us. Sometimes I wonder if he even realizes he still has a girlfriend and a baby.
Me: Wat r u doing 2morrow?
Paige: Idk yet. Why?
Me: Let’s go out
Paige: Don’t u have a baby 2 care for?
Me: Kai is watching her. He’s going out 2nite nd I’m going out 2morrow.
Paige: Yessss!!
“What are you guys going to do?” Kai asks as he rocks Amari.
“I’m not sure yet.” I coat my lashes with mascara.
“Are you guys going to a party?”
I dip my finger in my concealer and run it over my lips. “I don’t know, Kai. It will be nice to have a night for myself regardless of what we do.”
Amari has consumed my life for the past couple of months. I love her to death, but it’s been hard. Especially never having help and always being with her around the clock.
I get a text that Paige is here. I look at myself one more time in the mirror.
Since we don’t have a full-length mirror, the bathroom mirror that only shows half of me will do.
I’m wearing a new outfit tonight. Since having Amari, I had to get some new clothes because my pre-pregnancy clothes don’t fit anymore.
I put on my first pair of skinny jeans for tonight, and I’m not sure how I feel about them yet.
I’ve paired my navy-blue Hollister shirt with a white tank top underneath, and I think I look pretty decent.
I enter the living room and lean over and kiss Amari on the cheek. “I’ll be back later.” Kai rolls his eyes at me. “What?” I ask, my mood quickly souring.
“I don’t think you should go out.”
“Why?”
“You just had a baby…”
“And? You go out all the time. This is the first time I’m going out in months.” Before I step out the door, I turn back around. “You even said that you'd watch her so I could go out.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think you would actually leave her.”
I glare at him. “She’s with her dad. You act like I’m abandoning her.”
“I’m just saying.” He rocks Amari in his arms while sitting on the couch.
“You’re just saying what?”
“Nothing.”
Before this turns into a bigger argument, I leave and head toward Paige’s car.
After driving around for about an hour and not knowing what to do, we stop at our old stomping grounds—Sonic. It’s been ages since I’ve been here.
We take a seat at the table outside, and we each order a blue coconut cream slush. I look around and hardly anyone is out yet.
“Do you still come here?”
“Sometimes. Not as much as we used to. It hasn’t been the same since you stopped coming with me.”
I sigh. “Things have changed a lot.” I remember being here the first night I snuck out to be with Kai.
I see Kai from the corner of my eye. He’s talking to a group of girls. My heart pangs with jealousy. Why should I be jealous? There is nothing to be jealous about. Right as I’m about to turn my back on him, I notice he is staring right at me. Ugh, I don’t want him to know I saw him.
I remember how shy I was when I saw him here for the first time.
Things have changed so much. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, but it’s coming up on a year.
It didn’t take much convincing for me to fall for him.
Now, we’re living together with a baby. Some probably think I’m living a dream come true.
Seventeen and living with my boyfriend. I have so much freedom and can do anything I want. It’s great.
No. My life is far from that.
I was sixteen and wanted to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and this is where it got me.
Kai: U need 2 get home.
Me: Why?
Kai: She won’t stop crying
Me: I’ve only been gone for a few hours. U seriously can’t calm her down?
Kai: Come home.
I sigh and drop my head into my hands.
“What’s up?” Paige asks.
“Kai can’t calm Amari down. He wants me to go home.”
“Are you serious?”
Our server skates out to us and sets our drinks down. “Thank you,” Paige says. “We’re going to take these to go.”
Way to ruin what could have been a good night, Kai.
Paige pulls up to my apartment, puts the car in park, and shuts it off.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Going in with you.”
“You don’t have to. I don’t want to ruin your Saturday night.”
She opens her door. “You’re not ruining my night. I planned to hang out with you tonight, so what if we have to do it with that cute baby of yours?”
Both my cheeks rise. Paige is so selfless. She’s a teenager who should be out with her friends. But instead, she’s staying with me at my tiny apartment with my daughter on a Saturday night.
Once we’re inside, I shut the front door behind me, gazing around the living room, confused as to why it’s so quiet. Kai said she wouldn’t stop crying. Kai comes around the corner from the hallway in jeans, a black T-shirt, and white vans.
“I thought you said she was crying?”
“She was.”
Paige and I step into the living room. “Then why didn’t you tell me so we didn’t have to leave?”
“You’ve been out for two hours already. I thought you would come home sooner, anyway.”
“What? No.” Kai walks closer to the door. “Where are you going?” I ask.
“To Kevin’s.”
My mouth drops. “What?”
“I’ll be back soon.”
“This was my night to go out.” I step closer to him.
“And you went out.”
“What the fuck, Kai? Was this your way of getting me to come home so you could go out?”
“No.” He sighs, and without another word, walks out the door.
A hot flush of humiliation spreads across my cheeks as I realize how my boyfriend just deceived me.
Paige looks at me with a slight frown, as if she has pity for me. I can’t blame her. I pity myself.
“I’m sorry.” I wipe the tears from my eyes.
“Has he always been like this?”
I shake my head and sit cross-legged on the couch.
Paige sits next to me. “That seemed out of character for him.”
“A lot of things have been off with him lately. I don’t know what to do. I walk on eggshells all day long so I don’t say the wrong thing.”
“That’s not okay. You need time for yourself, too.”
“Apparently he doesn’t think so.”
Our relationship has changed so much in the last two months. From the start, I made it clear to him that bringing a baby into this would be difficult, but he brushed it off and believed that everything would work out.
I’m not sure what to think anymore.