Chapter 56
“Where is my beautiful goddaughter?” Paige asks as she walks right past me to my room. The smell of Viva La Juicy lingers in the air.
It’s the first week of February.
A new month.
A fresh start.
The start of a new year feels like you’re getting a fresh start.
My new year didn’t start so great. I’m proud of myself for keeping my foot down and making Kai prove he wants this.
He’s still at Kevin’s house. He comes over every day after work, puts Amari to bed, and takes us out on the weekends to do something as a family.
I’ve seen a change with him. I’m feeling better about things and want to ask him to come back.
“Where’s Amari?” Paige asks as she stomps back into the living room with her hands on her hips.
“With Kai. I can’t leave her home alone.” I asked Kai to take Amari for the night so I could have a night for myself. He agreed and made sure Kevin would not throw a party tonight.
Paige rolls her eyes. “You couldn’t have waited for me to see her first.”
“If you spend the night, you can see her tomorrow. Are you spending the night?”
“Of course.” She pulls out a water bottle from her black and pink Juicy Couture purse. “We’re drinking this tonight.”
I narrow my eyes at the bottle, then look back at her. “Water?”
She untwists the cap and takes a sip. Her eyes squint, and her mouth falls open after swallowing what I can now tell is vodka.
“Ugh.” She groans. “We’re going to need a chaser.”
“Where did you get this?” I ask, taking the bottle out of her hand, and giving it a sniff. My stomach churns as my face scrunches up. I do not miss the taste of vodka. “Yeah, we need chasers.”
“So you want to drink?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Why not? I’m home anyway.” What’s the harm in drinking at home with a friend?
A couple of hours later, only a quarter of the vodka in the water bottle is gone.
A warmth spreads through my chest, and the slight lightheadedness signals that I’m buzzed from the alcohol.
I haven’t drank since I found out I was pregnant.
These sips I’ve been taking are hitting harder than I thought they would.
We’ve been reminiscing about old times. Before I had a baby. A sense of missing my old life overwhelms my emotions. I love Amari and wouldn’t change anything. But I miss the simplicity of my old life.
“We should go out,” I say.
Paige’s eyes rise. “You want to go out?”
“Yes. I miss it. I haven’t been out with you like this in forever.” I’ve never missed my old life or the things I used to do. This spur of the moment of wanting to go out has to be the alcohol talking. I want to run with it and see how fun doing stuff like this again really is.
“Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know. Are there any parties going on?”
“Ohhh. Miss Mama over here wants to go out.” She howls, lifts the bottle in the air, and takes a sip.
“Shut up. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“The alcohol must be loosening you up.”
“Are you going to find something or what?”
Paige pulls out her Blackberry, and I watch as she texts. A couple minutes later she says, “Okay. Mike is coming for us.”
“Who the hell is Mike?”
She takes a sip of the vodka, cringing at the taste. “A guy I met at a party.”
I give her a side eye. “And he picks you up whenever you need to be picked up?”
“Sometimes. He’s a hook up I know for parties.”
“Sure,” I say and get up to put some better clothes on.
An hour later, we’re walking into a huge house. There is an indoor pool in the middle of the house on the main floor, and the rooms upstairs circle around the pool. Music is blaring through the entire house. People are dancing and swimming all around us.
Things have changed since the parties I used to go to. I don’t know how Paige met these people.
"Here, I got you guys drinks,” Mike says. He’s now shirtless and only wearing swim trunks. He looks to be a foot taller than both of us, and I’m only five-two. His six-pack abs glisten in the strobe lights that flash around.
I take a sip of the drink, and my face twists.
Both Mike and Paige chuckle.
“What the fuck is this?” I ask, gagging.
“It’s called Hop, Skip, and Go Naked!” Paige yells over the music.
“But what the fuck is it?”
“It’s a bunch of mixed alcohol and fruit. Eat the fruit. It’s better. The alcohol gets absorbed by the fruit, but you can hardly taste it.”
I roll my eyes at Paige, take a bite of pineapple, and to my surprise, I can’t taste any alcohol.
“See,” she says and starts swaying to the music playing.
The remix of “Birthday Sex” by Jeremih is playing, and the beat is much quicker than the original.
Paige grabs my hand, and I move a little closer to her and sway my hips to the beat.
I lock eyes with Paige as we both sing the song at the top of our lungs.
With every move I make, the weight of everything I’ve been dealing with lifts from my body.
The music surges through my veins, making me feel like my old self is coming back to life.
As the music thumps through the speakers, my body moves in rhythm to the song.
“Shots” by LMFAO and Lil Jon comes on, and everyone yells out “Shots! Shots! Shots!”
I’m lost in the music, not thinking about anything, when a guy comes behind me and starts grinding his hips against me.
Without thinking, I move with him as we dance to the beat of the song.
Paige is now dancing with Mike in front of us.
I’m not sure who is behind me, but I know Paige would pull me away if he were ugly.
It’s girl code.
The heat of the guy’s breath runs down my neck. “You look like you need another drink,” he says.
I look at my cup, and sure enough, it’s empty.
I hadn’t realized I already drank it all.
Please don’t be ugly, I say to myself as I turn around to face him.
His green eyes and a small dimple on the right side of his cheek catch my attention.
He looks a little older than me, but not much. Hopefully, not too much.
“Yes, I do.” I turn to Paige and raise my cup, signaling to her that I’m going to go get another one.
She nods her head with a big grin on her face.
The stranger leads me into a big, open kitchen. To my surprise, it’s empty. I’m used to smaller houses where there is no room for anyone.
"So, what’s your name?” he asks as he grabs the cup out of my hand and pours me another one out of a big red cooler.
“Blakely,” I say, biting my bottom lip. “What’s yours?”
“Matt.” He fills his cup, too, turns back around, and leans against the kitchen counter. “Are you here with anyone?”
I know what he means by that. Without thinking, and with the alcohol talking, I say. “I’m here with my friend Paige.”
The corners of his lips tilt upward. “I’ve never seen you here before. Is this your first time?”
I imagine whoever lives here is always throwing parties. “Yeah, it’s my first time.”
“Well, hopefully, it’s not your last,” he says, clinking his cup with mine.
I take a sip of my drink, hiding my smile. With the light in the kitchen, I’m noticing how drunk I’m getting. My bottom lip is numb, which usually tells me that I am drunk.
With a smile on my face, I embrace this moment, feeling completely free and alive. I let the joy of this night wash over me. I want one night to myself. There is no harm in that. And I’m not doing anything bad. I’m only talking to someone that I will never see again.
After Matt and I talk for a little, I head back out on the dance floor with Paige, who looks like she jumped in the pool, but I think it’s sweat.
The music stops and people are scurrying around.
My stomach drops from their hurried movements.
I look over my shoulders and see cops storming the house.
Paige grabs my hand and heads me toward the back.
Everyone is bumping up against each other, trying to get out.
All of a sudden, the group of people ahead of us stop and back away from the back door.
The lights turn on, and I see cops in front of me.
I turn around, trying to look for another exit, but there is nowhere to turn. The house is full of cops everywhere.
A knot forms in my stomach, and my whole body is trembling. This can’t be happening. The one time I go out, this happens.
The cops go one by one, asking everyone their names. They let people twenty-one and over go but keep everyone who is underage until their parents come to pick them up.
“Name and date of birth,” a cop says. By the time he gets to me, he is short with me and seems fed up with the night. There were hundreds of people here. I’m sure he’s tired of running names. To my surprise, there are more underage people here than I thought.
Both Paige and I give him our names and dates of birth. He runs our names while another cop breathalyzes us.
“Both of you are underage and both of you have been drinking. You’re going to need to call your parents.”
Nausea rushes up my throat, knowing he’s asking me to call my mom. I can’t call my mom. She'll think I’m a bigger fuckup. The one time I go out, I get caught by the cops. She won’t believe anything I say.
“Sir, I don’t live with my parents. Can I call my boyfriend?”
“You're seventeen and you don’t live with your parents?” His eyebrows shoot up in disbelief.
I shake my head.
“Who do you live with?”
“My boyfriend.”
His eyes narrow. “Yeah, sure. You’re not going to try to get away with this by telling me you live with your boyfriend.”
“I’m not. I really don’t live with my parents.”
“And why is that?”
“Because my mom kicked me out.”
He crosses his arms and lets out a sigh. “Can you be a little more detailed here? I don’t have all night.”
“What more do you want me to say? My mom kicked me out, and I live with my boyfriend. You can call him and ask him yourself.”
"Like, I’m going to believe him. Call your parents.”
“Write me my ticket, and I’ll walk home.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re underage.”
“I’ll be eighteen in a few months.”
“Yeah, in a few months. But as of right now, you’re underage.”
I look over at Paige, who looks just as nervous as I am.
I’m not sure how her mom is going to take it, but once she finds out she’s with me, she’s going to think we only get in trouble when we are together.
Paige hasn’t been in trouble with the cops since the last time we both got caught together.
Maybe it’s true. We always get into trouble together.
I hear Paige on the phone with her mom. Her voice is low, and I hear her mom’s raised voice on the other side of the phone.
“Sir, let me call my boyfriend. My mom isn’t going to pick me up,” I say, pleading with him.
“No. Call your mom, and if she won’t pick you up, then I’ll let you go with your boyfriend.”
I slowly take my phone out of my pocket and dial my mom. She’s not going to know who this is since she doesn’t have my new number.
“Hello?” my mother suddenly answers, and I freeze.
I’m speechless, so I give my phone to the cop.
He gazes between me and my phone, shakes his head, and grabs the phone out of my hand. He walks away, which I’m thankful for because I don’t want to hear what my mom or he has to say.
He comes back and hands me my phone. “Okay, call your boyfriend.”
“I told you.”
“Don’t give me your attitude. You’re lucky I’m letting you go with your boyfriend. My shift ended an hour ago, and I’m sick of dealing with you kids,” he says.
With each ring, dread washes over me. I don’t know what Kai is going to say; I hope he’s not mad.
“Hello,” Kai says in a groggy voice.
“Kai, it’s me.” I hear shuffling in the background.
“Blakely. Are you okay? What’s going on? It’s three in the morning.”
I tell him what happened.
“Are you fucking serious? You went out? After always yelling at me.”
“Can we talk when I get home?”
The sound of him hanging up on me pings in my ear.
My hands grow clammy, and my heartrate raises as I text him the address. Every passing moment makes me anxious as I wait to hear what Kai has to say. Nausea churns in my stomach as I think about all the times I got mad at Kai for going out.
How am I any better than him?