Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
VIREN
I knew I could end this conversation right now. All I had to do was reach out and touch my wife. Maybe press a few kisses to her soft, gleaming skin. And within seconds, she’d be locked in my arms, eyes closed in bliss, this conversation long forgotten.
But as she’d shown today, she didn’t forget anything. She was the one person who saw through me clearly. Besides, the bleakness in her expression as she told me that she had never had love in her life simply gutted me.
How was this even possible? Sunaina was one of the most loveable people I knew. I had to hear her out, and maybe show her how much love there was in her present, even if she hadn’t had any in her past.
“What do you mean?”
She lifted her shoulder idly and looked away as she took a sip of champagne.
“It’s fairly self-explanatory,” she bit out. “I’ve never had anyone in my life really love me. It is what it is.”
“Sunaina…” I began, but she turned an incendiary glare at me.
“Don’t you dare to pity me, Viren Chaudhry!”
“I’m not pitying you, you prickly little cactus. I’m trying to tell you you’re wrong. There are many people in your life who love you to bits.”
But she shook her head stubbornly and I soldiered on.
“Daima told me your father really loved you.”
Sunaina sighed heavily and drained her glass. I topped it up, and she toyed with the stem of the champagne flute as she mulled over my words.
“He loved me a lot when my mother was alive. But after she died, I was more of a burden to him. Especially after he married Aunty. They could have had a happy married life if it weren’t for me.”
“How do you figure that?”
“She hated me,” said Sunaina plainly.
“And that’s on her. It’s a choice she made,” I pointed out.
“Yes, but my poor Baba spent all their married life protecting me from her wrath. That kind of stress takes a toll on your life, right? He was so miserable all the time, and sometimes I used to wish I had died when my mother did so that the poor man could have had some chance of happiness after us.”
My heart clenched at the thought of a world without Sunaina. Our lives would be so poor if we hadn’t met her.
“The fact that he chose you over his marriage should tell you how much he loved you,” I said, my voice rough from all the emotions clogging my throat.
She gave me a startled glance, which showed me that she had never considered this angle.
“Why did your stepmother hate you?” I asked curiously. “How old were you when your father married her?”
“I was four.”
I nearly spat my champagne out at her words. Who could possibly hate a four-year-old?
“Why did she hate you?” I repeated.
Sunaina shrugged again, munching on her chocolate viciously before she spoke.
“Maybe because I’m unloveable. My Baba was forced to love me because I was his child. But nobody has loved me after him. Do you know what it’s like to go through life constantly feeling unworthy of love, Viren?”
“Your stepmother is an absolute delight,” I said sarcastically. “But just because she didn’t love you doesn’t mean you don’t have love in your life, Sunaina.”
She looked up sharply at my words.
“What do you mean?” she asked, going pale.
“Well…Daima, Sufi and Aisha absolutely adore you. They wouldn’t if you had been unworthy of love. In such a short time, you’ve become the centre of their universe.”
And mine, but I wasn’t going to tell her that because it was stupid. This whole conversation was stupid! Why were we sitting around a hot tub talking about love like schoolgirls? Next, she’d want to make those awful friendship bracelets I kept finding all over the house.
“You don’t look happy to hear that. Why?” I barked because she looked absolutely miserable. As if I’d killed her puppy.
“Because when you list all the people who supposedly love me, there’s no mention of your name,” she whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. “If I’m so worthy of love, how come my own husband doesn’t love me?”
Damn it! This is exactly why I didn’t like to sit around and talk about my feelings. Because they weren’t conversations. They were traps!
And they made you look at parts of you that you had hidden away for so long you didn’t even recognise them anymore.
I took her hand and pulled her into my lap, and this time she came willingly. I wasn’t trying to cloud the issue with sex, but I needed to hold her while we had this conversation.
“That’s because your husband is incapable of love,” I confessed into her hair. “He’s a fucking coward whose heart turned to stone a long time ago. You can’t squeeze love out of a stone, Sunaina. So don’t waste your time trying.”
She raised her head and looked into my eyes. Her own were wintry as hell, making me feel as if she could see all the way through to my soul and found it sadly lacking.
“If that were true, you wouldn’t have created a family to replace the one you lost, Viren. If you were as stonehearted as you claim, you wouldn’t have taken Aisha in the way you did.”
“Aisha is my niece. She’s family. And you don’t choose to love your family. You simply do,” I replied, shifting in the tub restlessly.
“And Daya Bua?”
“She practically raised me, Sunaiana. She was more of a mother to me than my real mother, who preferred attending high society brunches and parties to spending time with her baby. How can I not love Daima? She’s the only mother I’ve ever known.”
“And Sufi?”
“I don’t love Sufi! He’s my assistant, that’s all,” I said defensively.
Sunaina raised her head to glare at me.
“Bullshit! He’s told me all about how you mentored him when he was living at the LGBTQ+ shelter, and how you sponsored his education and gave him a job. Trust me, Viren. Sufi is as much part of your little family as Daya Bua and Aisha.”
Fuck me, but she was right! I did love the little troublemaker like a brother. Great! Now I had another person to worry about!
“And the only one left out is me,” she said bitterly. “All over again.”
I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard.
“Are you blind? Our whole world revolves around you. What more do you need, Sunaina? I can’t sleep at night because you’re the star of all my nightmares!”
“ Excuse me?” she snapped.
“You and Aisha. That’s all I dream about… You and Aisha…trapped in a burning car…struggling to get out. I’m running to save you, but I’m too late. Every damn time. And every night, I have to watch the two of you die right in front of me. So, please tell me why I should make the mistake of loving you if I’m going to lose you the way I lost my parents and Deven,” I snarled.
“Because you already do, you fucking idiot,” she whispered, running her thumb over my lips.
I bit it viciously, and she squirmed in my lap.
“Don’t go there, Sunaina,” I warned her softly. “I told you I have no love to give you.”
“Then divorce me right away,” she said with a challenging look. “Call your lawyer tomorrow morning and tell them to start the proceedings immediately.”
Umm, that was the plan. Of course, it was. But what was her hurry?
“I’ll call the lawyer when I’m ready,” I informed her loftily. “There is a process to these things.”
She let out a loud snort of derision as she slid off my lap and stood up. I watched spellbound as the water drained off her gorgeous body, leaving behind trails of droplets I wanted to trace with my tongue. She leaned over me, cupped my face tenderly and gave me a crooked smile as her perfect breasts dangled in front of my face like forbidden fruit. Damn, but this woman could bring me to my knees with just one look.
“Call me when you make up your mind,” she said. “Either way.”
“Where are you going?” I asked in desperation.
“Home,” she replied, not looking at me as she dried herself with a thick towel and threw on her clothes.