EPILOGUE
CITI
There was no use pretending that what happened didn’t take its toll on me.
On all of us. Despite things returning to normal, everyone knew nothing would be the same.
The loss of Capone was akin to losing a limb.
I don’t think I, in particular, realized what an integral part he played in our lives until he was gone.
Everyone turned out for his funeral, including a stream of bikers from the other chapter of Raven Souls, along with clubs friendly with ours.
I don’t think I’d ever seen a sea of leather before, steeped in such a variety of patches and colors, all gathered for a man who earned a hero’s send-off with every fiber of his being.
It felt like we’d been waiting forever for this.
I guess in a way we had been, caught in limbo, unable to move forward until we could lay our dead to rest. After Blade, King, and Inigo came back to deal with the fallout, it was decided we’d need to bring the police in to stop James—who was still on the run—from coming forward and claiming he was the victim and framing the MC.
The club had already taken away his anonymity. He’d gotten away with a fuck-load of shit because of his reputation. His name alone garnered nothing but respect. Now the truth had come out—Dr. James Brown was the most hated doctor to grace people’s lips since Harold Shipman.
And all it took was pulling one thread for everything to unravel. Well, almost everything. We still had no idea who our Lil really is, or where she might be. We can only hope she’s alive and safe.
I could picture her in some dingy motel room when the news broke about Lilian Taylor’s body being found, along with the complaints she’d filed with the police for domestic battery and sexual assault, all within the first six months of her marriage.
Along with that, Byte and G pulled out the cases that had been squashed by hospital administrations from across the world—over two hundred and fifty of them now—citing complaints ranging from bullying to sexual assault and medical malpractice.
There was also the issue that at least half of those women who had come forward to report him were now missing and unaccounted for.
The media had worked itself into a frenzy.
With my name thrown in the mix after everything I’d already endured, the nation was out for his blood.
It would only be a matter of time before someone found him or he made his next move.
This time, we’d be ready. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
But the truth is, none of us has ever dealt with someone like James, and we’d already lost Capone because we underestimated him once.
I couldn’t shake the fear that the worst was yet to come.
And now, as we say our final goodbye, I squeeze Ambros’s hand, hoping we’ll make it, hoping we’re strong enough to weather yet another storm brewing on the horizon.
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”
I turn away from the pastor. My eyes fall on Lucy, her bold red dress a splash of color within the crowd of leather, her eyes hidden behind large dark glasses, but I remember what they looked like when I delivered the news.
I push the door open, feeling Ambros at my back as I scan the room, finding Lucy as she steps out from behind the counter. When she spots me, she smiles.
“Hey Citi, take a seat anywhere, I’ll be right with you.”
“Actually, Lucy, do you have a minute?”
She tilts her head, and I don’t know if it’s the tone of my voice or the expression on my face that tips her off, but she hurries over to me and ushers me to one of the empty booths.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Star okay?”
I can’t help but feel like this woman would have been perfect for Capone, and it flays me open. Life is so fucking unfair sometimes.
Ambros stays back, giving us some space, as I reach forward and snag one of her hands. “No, Lucy. Star’s fine. It’s Capone.”
She frowns, confused. “We have a date for tonight.” Her shoulders slump. “He’s changed his mind, hasn’t he?”
“No. If he could go, he would. I swear it. He really, really liked you, Lucy. I’ve never seen a grown man so giddy over a woman before.”
“Really?” she whispers, before her eyes spot the tear trailing down my cheek. “Citi?”
“Capone was shot saving my daughter.”
She jolts as if she were the one shot. “No. We have a date. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going. It’s a surprise…I.” Her face crumples at my expression. “He won’t be taking me on a date, will he?”
I shake my head, swallowing down a sob.
“He’s…gone?”
I nod. “I’m so sorry.”
She stares at the table as if she’s having trouble processing. She lifts her head, her face pale, her eyes haunted. “I have to get back to work. Thank you for letting me know.”
She slips her hand from mine and slides out of the booth. I hurry to follow, not having any idea what to say, but her next words stop me.
“I bought a pretty dress. A red one. He said red was his favorite color. I wanted to wear it for him. Can’t wear red to a funeral, though,” she ends on a whisper.
“Says who? Wear it. Capone would love it.”
Her eyes slip closed before a tear runs down her cheek. And then she’s gone, hurrying to the restrooms, leaving Ambros to hold me together once more as he guides me outside.
“Time to go, angel.”
I jolt at Ambros’s voice, breaking through my thoughts, and realize everyone’s leaving. I nod robotically as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me to his bike.
He leans over me and kisses me softly before pulling the helmet from the seat and sliding it over my head. “I love you, baby. You’re my whole fucking world.”
He fastens the strap before reaching for his own helmet. Once he has it on, I tug him down by the front visor until our helmets are touching, needing him to know that, despite the chaos and fog surrounding me, I see him. That he’s the only thing in the darkness guiding me home.
“You’re my second favorite person in the whole entire world.”
He waits a beat before he throws his head back and laughs, drawing the attention of those around us. Instead of being offended, they all smile, happy for the light relief.
“I’ll take it. I have no problem coming second best to a princess.”
I grin up at him, feeling a little lighter. Maybe it’s because saying our goodbyes to Capone today means we can all start healing a little.
* * *
We walk into the clubhouse hand in hand. Despite the place being filled wall to wall with bikers, Star spots us the minute we enter.
She wriggles out of Theo’s arms and makes a run for us.
“Mama!” she shouts, making most people stop dead in their tracks.
Although she has found her voice since that day in the cave, she still only uses it sporadically, and I refuse to push her.
She’ll speak when she’s ready. Still, I can’t deny how hearing her call me mama heals a part of me I thought would stay broken forever.
I bend down and wrap my arms around her as soon as she hits me. I breathe her in, vowing to never take for granted all these little moments.
“Did you say goodbye to Uncle Capone?”
I swallow hard but nod. “I did.”
“He says you’re not allowed to be sad anymore. It’s making him feel weird.”
I huff out a watery laugh as I pull back and spot Circus moving closer. His eyes are full of wonder as he watches Star.
“He say anything else?” he asks her. She turns and walks to him. He crouches down and braces himself when she places her hands on either side of his face.
“He says he loves you, too, bro, but the moping has to stop. What’s moping, Mama?”
Circus laughs, the crowd joining in with him as I explain gently to Star what moping means.
She shrugs before turning back to Circus. “He says Lucy sure looked pretty in her red dress. Red is your favorite color too, isn’t it, Uncle Circus?”
“Is Capone matchmaking from beyond the grave?” Probe calls out, making Circus grin.
“What do you think?”
“I think we need more drinks. This one’s for you, Capone, the finest brother an MC could have.” Probe raises his beer. “To Capone.”
The room roars. “To Capone.”
* * *
“I want you to come somewhere with me.”
I look up at him and grin. “I’ll go anywhere with you.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He swoops me up before I can even get my shoes on and carries me out to the truck, making me laugh.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. But I know what’s getting into you if you play your cards right.”
I laugh at the cheesiness of his statement, loving how at ease he is with me.
He never makes me work for his love. He gives it to me like it’s a gift, with no expectations and no conditions.
He doesn’t make me earn it or withhold it as punishment.
With him, I get everything. In return, I give him all of me, knowing he can handle all the broken pieces, even the jagged parts that sometimes leave him as bloody and bruised as they left me.
Loving someone is a risk, but the reward of having them love you right back makes it worth it.
He jogs back into the house and comes out with my sneakers and my bag. He hands them to me before pressing a kiss to my lips. “Let the adventure begin.”
“But first hot chocolate.”
He winks. “I’ve got you.”
“You are a god among men.”
He climbs in and turns the radio on low before setting off for hot chocolate and donut holes. I eat them with a groan of pleasure, grinning when I see the tent in his jeans.
“You are a wicked woman.”
I plan to show him how wicked I can be. But after I’ve eaten, I slip into a food coma and sleep the rest of the way, only waking when I feel Ambros’s hand on my face. My eyes flutter open, and I smile. But when I see the tightness of his expression, I tense, sitting up.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. And before you ask, everyone is fine.”
“Okay, so why do you look so worried?”
“Because I did something. Something I hoped would help, but I’m worried I might have misjudged and fucked everything up.”