EPILOGUE #2
I unbuckle my belt, fist his T-shirt, and yank him close. “You love me?”
“More than I ever thought possible.”
“Would you ever go out of your way to hurt me on purpose?”
“Christ, no.”
“Do you like making me cry?”
“What the fuck—”
I cover his mouth with my fingers. “Exactly. There will always be things that trigger me, things that hurt me, things that scare me, but I know you. I trust you. You would never do anything to hurt me if you could help it, but you can’t bubble wrap me.
Sometimes it has to hurt for it to heal.
I trust that whatever this is…you did it for the right reasons. ”
He looks at me like he often does, like he can’t quite believe I’m real. He slides his hands into my hair and holds me to him as he kisses me. When he pulls back, he presses his forehead to mine.
“Promise me if it’s too much, you’ll tell me, and I’ll get you out of here.”
“I promise.”
He blows out a steadying breath. “Okay, now or never. Close your eyes for me, okay.”
I grin and do as he asks. He presses a kiss to the tip of my nose before climbing out of the truck and closing the door.
I turn toward my door when I hear it open and feel his hands move to my hips as he lifts me.
My hands go to his shoulders as he slowly lowers me down his body to the ground.
We stand there in silence for a moment, the soft breeze blowing my hair across my face.
“You ready?”
“I’m ready.”
I hear him swallow as he turns me. “Open your eyes, angel.”
I do as he asks, taking in the giant wooden archway in front of us, covered in twisted vines and a rainbow of climbing flowers. In the center of the arch is a white wooden sign with “Forget-Me-Not Sanctuary” etched in fancy script.
“Where are we?” I whisper as I move through the arch and come to a halt. I know this place. This place was my hell. So why does it look a little like heaven right now?
“Ambros?”
He moves up behind me, his hands sliding around my stomach, his chin resting on my shoulder. “You know we burned the house down, right?”
I nod, flashes of the past echoing in my head.
“After we cleaned it away, I stood in the ashes and knew I couldn’t just walk away.
Parts of you are buried here, tiny pieces of your heart and soul.
I’m a selfish man, Citi. I want all those pieces too.
So I bought the land and the land around it, one hundred acres to be precise, and watched your babies bloom,” he whispers, sweeping his arm out to the wildflowers to the left, untouched from hurt and harm.
Only now there is a stone bench in the center.
I pull away from Ambros and walk over to the bench, my fingers trailing over the flowers that have grown so much since I’ve been gone. “Hello, my darling boys.”
I take a seat on the bench and breathe in the sweet smell of flowers that cast a soothing calm over the evil that once blanketed this place. I watch Ambros as he approaches me slowly before taking a seat beside me.
“Why one hundred acres?” I whisper.
“You built a garden for your babies. I want to build a legacy for mine. One filled with love, and kindness, patience, and forgiveness for you, for them, and for all the babies that were taken far too soon.”
“What?” I look at him, confused.
He turns toward me and takes my hands in his.
“King helped me get it set up. He handled all the legal jargon. Forget-Me-Not Sanctuary is now a final resting place for all children taken too soon. It’s a place where parents, family, and friends can come and visit them, tell them stories, and hold birthday parties if they want.
They can plant trees in their memory and watch them grow tall and strong over the years so that they’ll never be forgotten. ”
I cover my mouth to hold back my sob. I take the place in and realize, as hard as it is to be here, this is the most beautiful, wonderful thing he’s done. Not just for me, but for all parents going through hell.
“Did I get this wrong?” His voice comes out rough and full of regret.
I shake my head and scoot closer, pressing my head to his chest. “It’s perfect.”
We sit like that for a few minutes, just me, Ambros, and my boys, before I pull back and look up at him.
He swipes my tears with his thumbs. “Tell me about them.”
I swallow hard before opening my mouth and letting it all spill out. “Thomas was my first. I was twelve.”
He tenses but doesn’t interrupt me. “He had my hair and a dimple in the center of his chin. I never got to see his eyes before Jasper took him from me. I didn’t know what he planned to do until it was too late.
He came back inside later without him, and I just knew.
He said the demon was in him, but I knew the only demon here was him. ”
I grip the front of his cut, needing his strength now more than ever.
“Jasper threw him in the trash. My beautiful baby boy—thrown away like he was nothing. But he wasn’t nothing, Ambros.
He was everything to me. I waited until Jasper fell asleep and crept outside.
I thought the sound of the shackle would wake him.
It was so freaking long, I was forever tripping on it, but luck was on my side. ”
I take a deep breath and battle the all-consuming pain that comes with the memories.
“I pulled Thomas from the trash, wrapped him in a blanket, and spent the next hour rocking him, telling him how much I loved him and how sorry I was.
I buried him in his blanket just before the sun came up.
And then I went back to lie beside a monster.
“Elliot came two years later. Benjamin a year after that. Three years later, I gave birth to twin boys, Jonah and Miles. I buried all my boys next to each other so they would never be alone. And over the years, flowers started to bloom randomly. When two years passed with no more babies, I felt relieved. I couldn’t bear to lose anymore.
And then my period stopped, and my stomach started to swell. ”
I look out at the flowers. “Look how beautiful they are, Ambros.”
He leans his head against mine as we watch the flowers dance in the breeze.
“I think we should bring Capone here.”
He pulls back to look at me. “Really?”
I nod and smile softly, thinking of all the children’s spirits that’ll dance among the flowers. “I can’t think of a better protector than him.”
“I agree.”
“Can you call them? Havoc and the others. See if they come.”
“Of course. I’ll be right back.”
He stands up and walks away as I lean back and let the sun warm my face. A peace settles over me as I start talking, telling my boys all the things I never got to say before.
Ambros sits beside me, his hand wrapped around mine, absorbing each word as if they were a precious commodity. Because to him, they are.
I turn to him when my voice starts to feel hoarse. “If not now, someday?”
“Someday.” He nods, ever patient with me.
I reach up and cup his jaw. “Right here, right now. This is my someday, and you, sir, are my forever. I love you so damn much.” I kiss him before he can speak, pouring all my love into it.
By the time he pulls back, a look of complete satisfaction on his face, people are starting to arrive. I hold my fingers to my tingling lips as the sun starts to dip, casting a warm pink hue over the place, giving it a magical feel.
As the first vehicle pulls in, I stand up, brush my hands against my jeans, and feel oddly nervous. “Why do I feel so scared?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because this place is sacred and you don’t want them to judge it based on what happened here.”
“Yeah, I guess. I mean, there was evil here, so much of it that even standing in the sun, I only felt darkness. But there’s light too. Flowers can’t grow without it after all.”
“Daddy!” We both spin around when we hear Star. She runs toward a shell-shocked Ambros.
“Is she talking to me?” he whispers.
“Yeah, honey, I think she is.”
She collides with his legs, giggling when he swings her up into his arms.
Nevaeh walks over and pulls me into a hug. “So that was new. Look at him. He looks like he’s going to cry.”
And he does, but he also looks so fucking happy, I wish I could freeze this moment for eternity.
“That kid is so damn fast, I don’t know how you keep up with her,” Havoc grumbles, pulling me in for a hug.
“You think maybe you’re just getting old?”
I’ve never seen someone look more offended in my life, which cracks up both me and Nevaeh.
“Hey, Citi.”
I turn and grin when I see Six with Will and King. I hurry over and hug her. “What are you doing here?”
“I was visiting my dad when the call came through. I had to come.”
I reach out and squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you did.” I smile at Will, who smiles back. “It means a lot that you’re both here.”
“Any friend of Six’s is a friend of mine, and I look after my friends.” He squeezes my shoulder before stepping aside to reveal Circus. In his hands is the silver urn holding Capone’s ashes.
My breath stutters in my chest for a minute, looking at it before I look up at Circus’s face.
“You, beautiful, wonderful woman.”
“I didn’t do this. This was all Ambros.”
He shakes his head as if he disagrees. But he says nothing, tugs me in for a hug and a forehead kiss.
“You think he’ll like it here?”
“I can’t think of a place more perfect,” he tells me.
He walks me back over to where everyone else is gathered, watching Star laughing and dancing in the middle of the wildflowers.
She looks beside her and laughs. “Come on, Uncle Capone, dance with us.”
Circus sucks in a sharp breath, his hands shaking as he holds the urn tighter. “He’s here, isn’t he?”
I look at the stone bench. For a moment, I see him as he flashes me a cocky smile before he gets to his feet and starts dancing with Star, who laughs harder. I bite my lip when I hear more laughter—Star’s, but also Capone’s. And if I listen hard enough, I can hear other children laughing, too.
“Yeah, Circus, he’s here.”
He reaches out and wraps his hand around mine. Ambros walks over and takes the other.
“Thank you for loving me enough to know what I need before I do.”
He lifts my hand and kisses the back of it.
A phone ringing just behind me has me turning.
Powers curses and apologizes before pulling it out of his pocket and frowning.
He walks away to answer as I go back to watching Star, who has now got Theo and Crane dancing with her.
I laugh as others join in until I see Havoc frown.
He looks over at an approaching Powers, who looks shell-shocked.
Other people start noticing him now, too, and the laughter dies down.
“What’s going on?” Havoc asks as he moves closer.
“That was my old CO. He got a call from St. Mercy’s, down in Atlanta.”
“Okay, and?”
“He was my next of kin. It’s you now, Havoc, but I haven’t changed it on everything.”
Havoc frowns, confused, so at least I know I’m not the only one.
“Yesterday evening, an unidentified woman was brought into the ER with a raven tattoo on her wrist and a set of dog tags around her neck. My dog tags.”
“Lil,” Havoc states, making the women around us gasp.
Powers nods. “I’ve gotta go.”
“You’re not going alone. G, work your magic. Get a flight booked for me and Powers—”
“And me,” Nevaeh jumps in, folding her arms over her chest. Whatever Havoc says, she won’t budge on this. Lil might be one of Havoc’s, but she’s one of Nevaeh’s, too. We women look after each other, and no matter what’s happened, Lil is still one of us. Perhaps it’s time she was reminded of that.
Havoc sighs. “And Nevaeh.”
“You got it,” G agrees as Powers stares at him in shock.
Havoc walks over and squeezes his shoulder. “Everything else can wait. Right now, let’s focus on bringing our girl home.”
“Is she even our girl?” Powers asks softly.
“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”