9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
Luna
My lips tingle merely thinking about those kisses. They were more than missing each other like the kissing was during the wedding. There was a sense of promise I’d never felt before in his kiss, and I’ve kissed Rafe more times than I can count.
When we arrive back at the cottages, I finally clear my throat and speak. He parks the car and turns it off, so I settle my hand over his, stopping him before he gets out.
“Before we go in and make dinner, I need you to know that I meant what I said. I want this to work. I’m here because I want to be with you, but we have work to do.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m willing to do it. I needed to hear you say I wasn’t falling into another false hope, though, not with so much on the line.”
I nod and swallow the rock in my throat. “You’re not. I’m here. I want to be here with you, working on our relationship so it can be better and stronger.”
“There’s a lot to work out. You live in another town and have an amazing job and—”
“Rafe,” I say and press a finger to his lips. “I promise you with everything that I am, I will not run back to Chatswain City without a plan to make this work between us, okay?”
He smiles against my finger, that goofy Thomas grin I could never stop thinking about. “Does that mean you’re my girlfriend again?”
I can’t help but giggle. “I would say we’re dating and will likely be boyfriend and girlfriend again by the time we leave Ireland, how about that?”
“I’ll take it.” He pushes his door open and comes around to let me out. “Am I making dinner, or are you?”
“Oh, are we having dinner together?” I tease.
“Thought so,” he says with a shrug. “I mean, you did seem to buy enough for two people.” He holds up my shopping bags and grins.
“What if that’s all for me? I’m going to be here for a while, you know.” I settle my hand on my hip.
“Mmm, I remember how you love cooking. I have no doubt in my mind that you’re making dinner for both of us so you can show off your amazing cooking skills once again.”
“You’re so full of yourself, you know that?
” Just like old times, he spreads that grin wide, only behind the beard it’s different.
My cheeks are a little scuffed from kissing him, but I like it.
I like this new version of him. The beard, the increased confidence, the assertive nature of his determination.
Even if it does make my temper flare a little and my defensiveness kick in. I still like it.
And I think I might like it if he took more control.
“Why don’t you tell me what you want me to make, I’ll get cooking, and you can make a new fire in the fireplace for me.”
He pauses at the door to my rental cottage and blinks a few times. “You want me to choose?”
“Yep. As you noted, I got a lot. As long as there is lamb or beef involved, I can make it.”
It takes him a moment to think, and he checks my sincerity a few times with quick glances. “Did you get potatoes? Can you make shepherd’s pie?”
“Yeah, I can do that.” I push up and kiss his cheek, then urge him inside. “Go make my fire now.”
An hour later, Rafe has been stuffed to bursting with shepherd’s pie, and I’m pretty proud of myself.
I’d never made it before, but I managed to find a simple recipe online.
We sit on the sofa facing the fire, close but not snuggling.
He sips his water and sets it on the side table before sinking deeper into the sofa.
“Mmm, I should head down to my cottage before I fall asleep. You are a great cook,” he mumbles through a sleepy haze.
“Thank you. You have mentioned that a time or two.” The guy can eat more than anyone else I know, but it always made me feel good to see him scarf down my food like it was the best on the planet.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” He rolls his head to stare into my eyes. I find longing and desperation in his. I want to ease that worry, so I scoot closer and kiss his cheek again.
“Yes, of course. I’m not sure what there is to do, but we’ll find some trouble to get into, I’m sure.
” He settles his arm around me and pulls me against his chest. We’ve done this before, but it’s different now.
Everything is the same but different somehow, and I can’t explain it.
He’s the same Rafe, but everything has changed.
I wonder if he sees the same thing in me? Luna but…not Luna.
He clears his groggy throat and sighs. “I really need to go. I can’t fall asleep on your sofa.” He reluctantly removes his arm and stands, pulling me with him.
“Drive safely all forty feet down the lane,” I tease.
“You laugh, but the owner told me there is a farmer just south of here that runs his sheep down this coast. She said sometimes one strays off, and I’ll need to be careful driving on and off the property.”
“Sheep? Like baa-baa sheep? In the back?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. I haven’t seen any, though. Probably not a big deal.”
“Well, don’t hit any sheep on your way back. I’m going to call Alex and congratulate her, then go to bed.”
Rafe leans in and kisses my forehead before grabbing the keys and heading out the front door.
Before he closes it, he pauses and looks at me.
There’s a heaviness in his gaze, almost as if he’s weighing how to say what’s on his mind.
Frankly, his openness today has been more than I expected, and I don’t want him to clam up now.
“What is it, Rafe?” I ask.
“Are you happy?” he asks, his voice almost a whisper. “Did I do the right thing here? I mean, assuming you’d come and setting it up? I had this awful thought that you felt obligated.”
A wave of emotion warms me. As much as I need to hear him say what he’s thinking and feeling, I realize he needs to know he thought and said the right thing. He needs encouragement, direction, and above all, he needs to know his efforts have not gone unrecognized.
“I’m very happy, Rafe. There’s no guilt or regret at all.”
His lips part and he nods. “Okay. Night, Luna.”
“Sleep well.”
“You too, sweetness.” He closes the door behind himself, leaving me to my own thoughts.
Despite knowing that our mutual friend Alexandra always liked Hayden, it’s still weird to know they are getting married.
It’s been a long while since I spoke with Alex, but I feel comfortable enough hitting her up for a video chat to congratulate them.
I scroll through my contacts until I find her, then settle into the cozy chair by the fireplace.
The phone rings for a bit, then clicks on and a hazy image of Alex appears. After a moment of shuffling, the picture clears and her pretty face fills the screen.
“Hey, Luna!” she says, eyes bright and smile wide. “Long time, no talk. How’s the exhibit going?”
“I know Rafe told Hayden we broke up,” I say, knowing full well she wants the details but is afraid to ask. She covered it with the question about the exhibit, but the girl was never good at hiding her emotions.
She presses her palms to her face and scrunches her nose. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lead with that.”
I chuckle. “Well, let’s start with congratulations on the engagement.”
She beams and holds up her hand to show me her ring. “I guess I saw it coming, but it still took me by surprise. We haven’t set an exact date yet, but I hope you can come to the wedding. I’d love to see you.”
“Oh, that ring is gorgeous, and I’ll be there for sure. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And, maybe if things work out on this trip, I won’t be alone.”
Concern fills her face. “Do you think it’ll work out? I hate you two not being together. Ever since Hay told me, I’ve been so sad.”
“Well, I’m not sure what Rafe told Hayden, but he planned this big trip to see if we can work it out.
I’m in Ireland right now in a cottage right next to him.
We had a good day today, which included a lot of awkward talking, but in a good way.
All we did was drive to the market, then came back, chatted, and had dinner together. ”
“That sounds promising. Do you want it to work out? You seem like you do.” Her hope-filled tone cannot be missed.
“I do. At least, that’s why I’m here, but there’s still a small part of me that worries we’ll fall back into the old routine of not communicating and making rash decisions.
” Admittedly, I should have been more open with Rafe about the job in Chatswain City when it was offered to me.
He might have had some input if I had eased him into it rather than telling him I was going with or without him.
Even so, the longer I’m in this country, the more I want things between us to work.
“What happened between you two? I mean, if you want to tell me. Obviously you don’t have to, but I never in a million years would have thought you’d break up.” She tucks her dark, wavy hair behind her ear and settles in.
“You know I took the job in Chatswain City, but I didn’t really give Rafe much input. I told him I accepted the position and I was moving, but he didn’t say anything. He just…let me go. Not an ounce of fight at all.”
She scrunches her nose again. “That seems like you left a lot out, but for the purposes of keeping it short and to the point, there is no way the dynamic duo of CC High doesn’t end up together and in love for the rest of their lives.
It’ll work out, but I think you know you have to be super up-front and honest about everything.
I love you both, and I really would hate it if miscommunication kept you apart. ”
I frown and lean back deeper into the chair.
“He did go out of his way to plan and pay for this trip, which is very unlike him. Spur of the moment is not his style, never was. Earlier at the local market, we had a moment of misunderstanding and he commanded it like a champ. I like this new take-charge version of him.”
“Listen, maybe you should come up with some ideas of your own and present them to him.”
“You mean like date ideas? I think he might have his own plans.”
“Dates, fun stuff, yeah. Maybe he does have some plans of his own, but you both need to learn to communicate, right? Put some effort into planning too, and see if you can function like an actual couple again, only better this time. Once upon a time, you two read each other better than anyone I know. There is no way that natural connection is gone.”
I ponder her words for a while. In the background, Hayden’s face appears.
“Luna, hey,” he says and waves.
“Hi, Hay. Congratulations on scoring the best girl in the world,” I say.
Hayden smiles and kisses Alex’s forehead. “Question is,” he asks, “are you and Rafe going to get wise and realize you two were the dream couple that gave the rest of us hope?”
Alex nudges him. “Hay, don’t be pushy.”
“Listen, these two knuckleheads need a push in the right direction. Get off this chat with us and go spend time with Rafe. Don’t call me back until you’re a couple again or I’ll fly to Ireland and be your personal relationship therapist.”
I can’t help but smile. “And what exactly do you think you’ll do when you get here?”
“I’m not sure, but it’ll be bad, so don’t tempt me.” Hayden wags his finger at me, then says, “I’m stealing my girl. Have a lovely trip and come back home engaged, okay?”
Before I have a chance to retort that it is highly unlikely we will return home with a promise of marriage between us, Hayden ends the video chat.
“Why that little—ugh, what a doofus.” Hayden has always been a little…
dramatic? I can’t decide if that’s the right thing to call him, but it doesn’t matter.
Alex was right. I should make a list of things we can try do while in Ireland, see if Rafe is interested, and really give this thing a fair chance at working.
If I don’t treat it like a committed relationship, then it won’t be.
I heave myself off the sofa and head into the kitchenette.
Surely, there is a pad of paper and a pen somewhere in there.
I find one in a small drawer near the entrance and settle back in to make the list. At first, I can’t think of a single thing to do in this country besides stare at how beautiful it is, but soon the ideas start coming.
I add things like learn to weave, go horseback riding, take a sunset walk, pet sheep, and others to the list. I’m not so sure Rafe is going to want to do most of these, but at least there’s variety, so we can agree on something.
Initially, I figured I’d wait until morning to present the list to Rafe face to face, but the scared little girl inside of me chickens out and I send him a text message now instead.
Hey, I thought I’d make some suggestions of things we can do in case you haven’t planned everything. How do you feel about horseback riding, weaving, sheep herding, romantic sunset walks…
After a minute or so, he responds.
Rafe
I’d love to do all those things with you on one condition.
I bite my lip, only slightly worried about what those conditions might be.
Okay, hit me. What conditions?
Rafe
Only one…every night before we part, we need to tell each other one thing we liked and one thing we disliked about the day. I want to build trust between us again, and honesty is a huge part of that. We can’t work things out and address issues if we don’t know they exist.
I ponder his condition for a while and realize it’s not a difficult ask. We should be able to tell each other those basic things, and if we can’t, then we have no business trying to work anything out.
It’s a deal. Pick me up in the morning?
Rafe
Sure. Why don’t you cancel the rental car and we can just use mine? There’s really no sense in you paying for one. Unless, of course, you want a way to escape me.
Over text message, it’s difficult to say if he’s joking or serious about that last part, but I decide to take it at face value. It’s an offer, and it’s up to me to decide. Besides, I didn’t ever schedule a car to begin with.
I have nowhere to go without you, and I wouldn’t want to anyway.
I see the dots bouncing on my phone and wait for him to respond, but it takes so long I decide to change into my pajamas and brush my teeth. When I’m done, a message awaits.
Rafe
I don’t want to go anywhere without you either. Let’s start with the hike tomorrow. I’ll get you bright and early. I love you, Luna. Sleep well.