Chapter Nine
Landon
Hanging up the fifth call in a row, I slump into the seat.
We stayed at a hotel in Allie’s hometown last night. I could tell she was exhausted and wanted to be alone after seeing her parents’ house.
Now we have been sitting here for the past hour in the parking lot of the hotel because every time we try to leave, I get another phone call that makes it impossible to drive at the same time.
Looking over at Allie, who has been sitting quiet and patient the entire time, I go to apologize again, but she stops me.
“You don’t have to apologize again. Whatever it is you and your family are doing is clearly needing your full attention. And because you will probably get another call any minute, can we go somewhere before we head out of town? You can stay in the car and deal with your brothers.”
I nod and hand her my phone to put the address into my phone connected to the car navigation. She hesitates for a moment before taking it, and I know that look. It’s one full of distrust, and I hate it. I hate that this world is full of so many pieces of shit that women have to fear anyone new.
The address she puts in is only a five-minute drive and just as we pull into a rundown playground at a lake, ringing sounds in the car and Carter’s name appears on the screen.
Before answering, I turn to Allie, who is about to get out, but hesitates and looks over her shoulder at me. She looks like she wants to say something but stops herself.
“Take as much time as you need.”
Allie nods, “Thanks. Come get me when you get everything sorted and we can get back on the road.”
Shaking my head, and Allie’s brows raise in confusion.
“Take as much time as you need. I’m not in a rush. Do whatever you need to do. And if we need to say goodbye to somewhere else, we can. Just let me know.”
Allie turns to face me, “Why–But what about your brothers?”
“They can survive without me. Plus, I have friends in the state that can lend a hand. Seriously, take as much time as you need.”
Her mouth opens to say something but then closes like she is trying to figure out what to say. I look out the window to give her time and not have some stranger staring at her.
“I–uh…”
Another call comes through, cutting her off mid-sentence, and I sigh in frustration. Allie’s eyes go wide and I quickly shake my head and point at the caller ID shining on the screen.
Her shoulders relax and she nods, but I think it’s more to herself than to me. I wait for her to get out of the car until I answer the call and watch her head straight for a small pathway over the water that leads out to a dock floating in the lake.
Hitting accept on the call, Carter’s voice fills the car and my eyes never leave Allie.
“Sorry man. I know you are preoccupied. This is just a shitshow and I want a second set of ears on the situation,” Carter says and I can hear him typing quickly on his computer.
Unbuckling my seatbelt, I push the seat further back and relax into it. I parked under a large tree so the sun wasn’t shining directly on the car. I roll down the window and let the warm lake air fill the car.
“It’s alright. We are parked at a lake to take a break from the highway. What’s going on?” I say while reaching into the glove box to grab a piece of gum and popping it into my mouth. The cool minty flavor almost stings and sends a chill over my body.
Carter explains the issues going on with the mission and I absentmindedly help him while my eyes remain locked on Allie.
A half an hour passes before I can finally hang up and get out of the car to stretch my legs. The second I step out of the car, the warm Alabama air smacks me in the face, and I regret only packing enough clothing for a day trip to New York. This flannel and jeans have seen better days. Luckily, I tossed them in the washer at the hotels we have been staying at.
I refuse to rush her, but I can’t sit in the car any longer either. Being stuck in a small car at six feet tall for days is not good for my legs. Walking back to the trunk, I take off my flannel and pull my black short sleeve down so it isn’t riding up.
Before closing the trunk, I look out at Allie again. She stands at the end of the dock, looking out at the calm lake water. The breeze picks up, blowing her wavy brown hair in the wind. Her hands sweep up and down her arms. Glancing down at the flannel in my hands, I debate grabbing a sweater from the bag Logan packed her, but I don’t want to disrespect her privacy, so I close the trunk, flannel still in hand.
My feet hit the beach and I look out at the water. Houses sit on the edges surrounding the water and off in the distance kids fly around on jet skis. Another beach sits opposite the one I’m standing on and it’s filled with families soaking in the last of the warm days.
This must be a place where Allie and her family came and if it’s always this quiet and abandoned, I can understand why. It’s peaceful. The playground may be run down, and the beach is full of tiny rocks instead of sand, but it’s perfect to me.
Living my entire life in Washington, finding new cliffs to jump off, and new hiking trails are sometimes the only thing I can do to silence the voices. You may run into a few people at the lookout points at The Sound, but people usually respect others and move on quickly if someone is already there. Same with the trails and cliffs.
People don’t move to Cliff Haven to be social. They want peace and sometimes that means being alone with the elements.
A breeze whips through the air and I watch as Allie moves to sit down, tucking her arms between her chest and knees, her chin resting atop her knees.
I debate about going out there. She needs time to say goodbye or work through whatever is going through her mind, but with how small she is right now, the cold will only distract her.
My shoes sink into the beach and I make a more dramatic step onto the pier to avoid startling her.
I’m a few feet behind her when she turns to look over her shoulder and when she sees it’s me, her hand flies to her face, wiping away the tears rapidly cascading down her face.
I stop and feel awful for interrupting her and when she goes to stand, I shake my head. “Sorry. You don’t have to get up. I just—uh.” Unsure of what to say, I hold out the flannel and her eyes dart between, my arms covered in an array of black ink, and the shirt.
Closing the gap between us but still giving her some space, I open the shirt and hold it in both hands. “Can I?”
She shakes her head no when a gust of wind hits us, her hair flying in her face and goosebumps break out on the little skin she has exposed around the collar of her shirt.
Allie gathers her hair in one hand, nods to me, then looks back out at the lake.
I drape the shirt across her back, pulling it slightly forward so it covers her arms.
I stand back to my full height and stare out at the lake. Silence blankets us and I know I need to go back to the beach to give her space, but something about this place is so peaceful and I want to stay in this state as long as I can.
“You can stay. I know that this place is addicting.”
She’s not wrong. I know it’s selfish, but I step up to where she is and sit down, giving her enough space between us. Resting my arms on my bent knees, I run a finger along the tattoo on my wrist.
Overleve .
My eyes close as I trace the reminder tattooed amongst the mosaic of broken art, cracked lines, and stories no one else knows but me.
The lake air fills my lungs as I repeat the word over and over in my head. And when I feel my mind settle, I open my eyes and stare out at the water below us.
The sun reflects off the water and each tiny wave that breaks from the jet skis further away casts tiny little rainbows in the wake.
We both sit lost in our thoughts and in a rare instance, my mind isn’t racing and my skin isn’t on fire. It’s usually the moments of quiet and peacefulness when they shine the brightest.
All the voices are gone and what remains in their place is an odd sense of comfort and peace fighting against the noises waiting to scream in my head.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Allie shift, and I turn my head to look at her. Her eyes are fixed on the water.
“When I was little, my parents used to bring me here.”
Her voice is quiet, but I can hear the slight edge of happiness as she watches as a kid jumps off the floating dock on the other side of the lake. Not wanting to interrupt her or stop her, I return my gaze to the lake and wait for her to continue.
“I was always confused why we never went to the other side. It was nicer and the kids in school spent summers there. I begged them to let us go over there, but they were set in their ways of sticking to this side,” she starts.
“I didn’t care as much when I was younger, because what kid would complain about going to a lake and jumping off the dock with their parents? We would stay until sunset and Mom would break out a giant picnic basket with enough food to feed a village, but we didn’t care. We would all sit here and watch the sun fall behind the trees and share our favorite parts of the day. Dad would say something like watching Mom belly flop. And Mom would say something sappy about watching her favorite people enjoy the sunshine.
“And when it came to me, I would always say something about being in the water all day. But as I got older, kids commented on the fact that we would go to the crappy beach. And as time went on, I started saying I wished we could go to the other beach, but they never budged.
“I never understood it until I was about fourteen or fifteen. Mom and I were on the swings while Dad was on the dock reading. I finally asked her and she–”
Allie pauses, slips her arms into my shirt and folds her arms on her knees. A tear slips down her cheek and she looks up at two bluebirds dancing in the sky. She watches as they make circles in the air above us, then fly off towards the shore. Her gaze returns to the water and she wipes a tear away with her sleeve covered hand.
I’m about to look away when I see a small smile spread across her face. It’s tiny and probably one of the few that she has worn in months, but it’s there.
Continuing, “She said something I will never forget until my last breath. This place may not be the most glamorous. It may not be beautiful according to the standards that society sets, but beauty isn’t just what is outwardly shown. It’s what lies beneath the surface under all the cracks and bumps. And when you actually take a chance to see what lies underneath, suddenly that thing that is flawed to the outside world is the most breathtaking view you have ever seen.”
My chest constricts for some odd reason as the words of Allie’s mom hit me hard.
She wipes another tear as the bluebirds soar by again.
A smile spreads across her face, and she clears her throat. “And from that moment on, this place had a new look. Everything was brighter. The swings didn’t squeak, the dock didn’t creak, and the other place faded into the distance, leaving me and my two favorite people in the most magical place in the world.”
Tears fall down her face, but her smile doesn’t falter. I should look away, but I sit in this moment a few seconds longer.
I return my gaze out at the lake, turn my hat around backwards so I can feel the sun against my face and soak in the moment. And then, somehow, the sun shines brighter, and this place radiates something that can only be described as magical.
And I know in this moment that this unexpected road trip was worth it.
Together, two strangers sit in complete silence. Fighting two completely different invisible wars that are unknown to each other. But in this moment, even through the pain and heartache, we are experiencing the same sense of peace.