Chapter Twenty
Landon
Allie stares at her hands, and I wait patiently as she finds the courage to speak.
The past few weeks have been a series of one spiral after another. Ever since that dream/drunk-induced coma, and a series of one fuck up after another, I have been feeling a little…lost.
I find myself waiting for Allie to text because at least when I’m there, I’m not alone. As pathetic as that sounds, there’s just something about keeping her company while she goes through the motions of her healing that allows me to silence the demons in my mind.
The feeling is unlike any other. I’ve never been one for friends outside of work, but somehow, in some weird way, I feel like Allie and I have bonded in a way that I cannot explain or even understand. We are both two very broken people, but to the outside world we are okay. For some reason, sitting in silence has seemed to allow Allie to work through her troubles, and me to work on silencing the voices in my head.
The cabin is warm, and the feeling of the holidays hangs in the air. It’s not overwhelming but the cool glass against my back with the warmth from the fireplace against my front and the pumpkin spice scented candle burning overwhelms my senses and the fire ceases to exist in my veins.
Not wanting to go too far into myself, I scrub my hand down my face and wait for Allie’s voice to cut through the silence.
The sound of Allie moving in the recliner and clearing her voice makes me look up. Her blanket covered knees are against her chest, her sleeve covered arms wrapping around the front of them. Tucking a piece of wavy hair back into the messy bun atop her head, she attempts to speak a few times. Each time, only saying a few words I can’t decipher before retreating into her head.
A couple of tries later, she looks down at her knees, her hands messing with the sleeves of her shirt. “So you know that asshole , umm…took me…then my parents. I was already in the basement when he brought them down. Mom was hysterical and Dad’s mind was working a million miles a minute trying to find a way out. He placed them in the cell next to mine and told us to catch up.”
Fucking asshole.
She continues, “They told me how he tricked them there under false pretenses and we collectively found out the true monster that was living inside him over the following days. Every day that passed, I begged him to let them go. But the sick asshole didn’t reveal why we were there until moments after he killed them.” Her throat clogs with emotion and I have the sudden urge to go to her. But I can’t. She doesn’t want to be touched, so I resist.
Taking a deep breath, “ He –uh– he said….” Her hand moves to her face to wipe the rapidly falling tears off her face and I hate that I can’t go back in time and make this man suffer all over again.
Risking her slapping me in the face, I move to sit closer to the recliner. Her eyes track my movement and when she doesn’t react, I sit right in front of the chair, my knees touching the plush fabric. I lean forward and rest my arms on my legs, my hands brushing against the fabric inches away from her feet.
Allie’s arms wind tightly around her knees, her hand resting a few inches above mine. “ He killed them right in front of me after he …did things…and made me watch. Dad begged for him to take him and leave us. Mom screamed and tried to fight him off, while begging for a reason why. And he just smiled and laughed as he took them away from me. After he left them there to take their last breaths, I had to stand there and—Fuck!”
Her body shakes and I hate that I cannot do anything. Part of me wants to tell her to stop, but the other piece wants to believe that this could be a step in the right direction.
Or maybe you’re forcing her and pushing her in the wrong direction.
Ignoring the voices in my head, I inch my hand closer to her, my finger brushing her blanket covered foot. Her eyes track the movement, but she says nothing. She just watches as tears stream down her face.
Fuck. Maybe this is the wrong idea.
“Allie. You don’t—”
Allie rapidly shakes her head. “I can do it.” Taking a deep breath, she continues, her voice full of sadness and hurt. “ He made me stay there and watch as they reached out for each other. They were too far away, but they managed to lock pinkies and twist to look at each other. Their eyes darted from each other to me and I think I was screaming, but the room felt dead silent.
“Mom was the first to take her last breath, and as Dad took his, he looked over to me and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’. And then he was gone. My knees gave out and all I heard was the laughter of that asshole in the corner.
“I don’t know how long I sat there, but finally the laughter stopped and he walked over to the door and told me you can thank your best friend, Logan. She is the reason you are here. She is the reason your precious parents are gone. And now that they are gone, you are going to tell me where she is, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you go free, Baby Doll.”
As the words leave her mouth, her head drops to her knees and shakes take over her entire body. Loud sobs echo throughout the house and before I realize what I’m doing, I grasp her pinky in mine.
Allie’s head shoots up and I move to pull back. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I swear it will never, ever happen again.”
Her bloodshot, almost white eyes lock on my pinky intertwined with hers and she does something completely unexpected. She tightens her pinky around mine and drops her head back to her knees.
Shock overtakes my body, and I freeze. Not wanting to move but also not wanting to disrespect her boundaries, I try to pull away, thinking this may just be an in the moment situation. But when I do, she tightens her pinky around mine again, not lifting her head from her knees.
I nod, even though she cannot see me. And tell myself that I will stay here until she lets go because after everything she just told me, I know that her road to normalcy is far in the future. And so is her relationship with Logan. I knew it was bad, but not even my darkest of thoughts could have imagined it would be this bad. Or that such an asshole was capable of that level of psychotic behavior.
I’m not sure why I feel so compelled to be her friend or person to lean on, but at this moment, I’m glad I am. Because if that was the first of many secrets this girl holds inside her mind, I don’t even want to think about how much darker it could get.