Chapter Forty-Two
Allie
“Hey Al?”
Turning around, I see Logan standing at the kitchen counter, making coffee.
“Yeah?”
“Coffee?”
“Yes please. I am freaking tired.”
After our talk on the couch last night, we were both mentally and physically exhausted, so we called it an early night.
When I woke up this morning, I didn’t feel the expected heaviness that I normally do and I want to think finally being back with the girl who is like my sister and setting both of us free has something to do with that.
Logan hands me a steaming cup of coffee and a note.
“What’s this?” I ask, setting my mug on the coffee table.
Logan takes her place on the couch and shrugs. “I have no idea. Wes dropped it off a few weeks ago and asked me to give it to you.”
Why would Wes have a note for me?
My curiosity is peaked and as soon as I open the note, a wave of emotions crashes over me.
Allie Girl,
If you are reading this, it means that you made it back to Cliff Haven.
Everything in me wishes I was there to say this in person and help you through it, if you allowed me to, but I am not ready yet. So forgive me for dropping this on you. My only hope is that somewhere along the way, you found your way back to Logan and that she can be there to help you through this.
I know you are probably yelling at me to tell me why so, here it goes.
Do you remember when we were in Alabama and I promised my guys would gather all your parents’ belongings and keep them safe?
Well, as you know, I do my best to not break promises and I apologize for this taking as long as it did. But I like to think this was a sign from your parents to allow this to happen now. They wanted you to be in a better place to enjoy the memories and not to fall deeper inside your mind.
All of their belongings and yours are at my place. I had the locks changed while we have been away, so you will need a new code.
2583
Go through it at your own speed. No rush to get it out of my house, it can stay there for the rest of eternity.
Whatever you want to do.
I know Logan told you, but the house is yours. Stay there or don’t. Just know if you need a safe space to escape to, my home will always be a place for you to run to.
I have to run, but I want you to know I am unbelievably proud of you. I have been making strides to meet you at the end of that tunnel and I am inches away.
I may not know what the future holds, but I know you are in it.
See you soon, Bluebird.
Storm
Overleve. Tilgi.
The letter falls from my hands as every emotion hits me at once.
“Allie? You okay?”
I nod, my eyes bouncing back and forth between the letter and Logan. “Did you know he did this?”
“Did what?”
Picking up the letter, I hand it to her and watch as the same emotions I am feeling overtake her.
“Woah.”
“I know.”
Logan hands me the letter back. “Do you want to go over there?”
“Yeah, but only if you go with me.”
“Of course. But can I ask you something? You can tell me to shut up, and I will.”
My brows furrow. “Yeah?”
“I have never seen Landon speak or act the way he does around you or with regard to you. Is there something there beyond a friendship?”
I sit back and stare at the letter. “I don’t have the answer to that question right now. We became friends on the way to rock bottom. We had a lot of growth to do individually, but I will say that if he is the man he has been in the letters we have exchanged over the last few months, I am excited and terrified to see what the future holds.”
Logan’s face spreads into a devious smile and brings her mug to her lips.
“What?” I ask.
“Oh nothing. Just that you are screwed. The Hayes men have a way of pulling you into their orbit. Even if you have to pass each other a few times, a beautiful collision is imminent. Welcome. It’s a wild ride, but worth every moment.”
I roll my eyes and try to pretend that she is just being dramatic, but in my heart, I know the truth. Whether Landon and I are meant to be best friends or something more, I am confident that he will be a constant in my life.
Stepping into Landon’s house without him here feels wrong.
The last time I was here was the beginning of my fall and Landon’s, too.
The smell of cinnamon and smoke fills my nose and I instantly feel at peace despite the dire wish that he was here.
Logan and Willow follow me further into the house and I am just about to ask where he placed all of their belongings when I see a note on the counter.
Allison,
Landon asked me to put all the temperature sensitive items in your room. The large items and furniture are in the garage.
Wesley
Logan reads over my shoulder and looks at me. “Your room?”
I nod and motion for her to follow me up the stairs. “Yeah. After I stabbed him, my mattress got ruined, and I stayed here for a little bit. Not sure why he said my room because I didn’t stay in it much.”
“I have so much I want to say right now, but I will be nice because now is not the time, but I am begging you to tell me what the hell happened between you two.”
My hand pauses on the door handle. “One day.”
My eyes can’t help but drift to Landon’s closed door across the hall. The memories of running across the hall to be in the comfort of his arms hits me like a rogue wave and the ache of missing him churns deep in my chest.
I miss my best friend.
Logan’s hand on my back grounds me, and I turn my attention back to what lies beyond the door.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. I can do this. I am strong.
The moment I open the door, the smell of Mom and Dad hits me and I stumble backwards into Logan. Thankfully, she is there to catch me, and Willow is right beside her, plastering herself to my side.
The room is full of photo albums, clothes, beanbag chairs, and so much more.
I can do this.
Slowly, I make my way around the room. I see my entire childhood and the start of my adulthood laid out in front of me. My old swim team jacket from high school hangs next to my University of Alabama cap and tassel. Directly next to it is Mom’s wedding dress and Dad’s tux.
My hands drift along the fabric of the clothing and the rough edges of the photo albums.
It almost feels like I am walking through a museum exhibit of my former life.
I glance up to see Logan, her arms wrapped around her body, tears shining in her eyes, with a smile on her face as she stares at a photo. Taking a few steps closer, so our shoulders brush, I see why she is smiling.
A large wooden frame holds the photo from Mom’s birthday at the Taylor Swift concert. Mom, Dad, and I all hold each other as purple lights shine around us.
Logan’s hand swipes away a tear as she says, “They truly were the best people in the world.”
“They were.”
Hours later and many tears shed, Logan sits on the bed while I sit in a large beanbag chair in the corner. Willow sleeps soundly on the smaller beanbag. Both of us are flipping through photo albums.
“You know, as a kid, I used to get so annoyed that mom always had a camera in my face. But now I’m happy she did.”
“Me too. If she didn’t, I wouldn’t get to see this,” Logan chuckles and holds up a photo of me as a kid, my hair sticking up in every direction, covered in blue paint.
“Hey. I was just seeing if I could make it into the Blue Man Group!”
We both laugh and continue flipping through the albums. Photo after photo. Memory after memory.
I pause on a photo of Logan and I laughing at the beach and flip it around to show Logan. A big smile spreads across her face and I say, “Remember when things were this easy? I sometimes wish we could go back to that time. Before everything went to…yeah.”
“Al?” I glance up and see Logan sitting up, her gaze locked with mine.
“Yeah?”
Logan shifts on the bed, and I can tell she is nervous. “Yesterday, you mentioned having to figure out what was true. What did you mean by that?”
Setting the photo down, I take a deep breath and brace myself to finally tell her the truth of why I couldn’t face her for so long.
“Before I tell you, remember what I said last night. I forgive you. I do not blame you. Okay?”
Logan nods, and I continue.
“Mike grabbed me after a long shift at the hospital. He hid in my car and knocked me out. It happened so fast that I didn’t even realize what was happening until I woke up in a basement days later. I was trapped in a metal cage and bruises covered my body. All I did was scream for the first few days as he asked me a million questions about you. I gave nothing away and everyday I didn’t, he would add another bruise. The days bled into each other, and so did the lies.
“He would sit there for hours and tell me about how you conspired together to kill your mom, and that I was your next target. You were both playing this long game of hide and seek that involved killing others that were foolish enough to fall for a sad and lonely girl. At first I didn’t believe him, but then he—”
Emotions clog my throat and I look up to the ceiling, begging for strength to allow me to continue.
You can do this. Mom’s voice filters through my head.
I can do this.
“I don’t know how much time passed, but one day I really pissed him off and he knocked me out. When I woke up, Mom and Dad were in the cell next to me. They were both full of bruises and confused. We tried for days to find an escape. As time drug on, I started to believe him, even though Mom and Dad were telling me to fight and ignore it. I really tried Lo. I swear I did, but the moment he–Fuck–killed them, I couldn’t. I had to sit there and watch the light drain from their eyes all while he was screaming at me that you planned this. I tried to ignore it. I really did, but the pain was unbearable and I just—”
Tears stream down my face, and Logan is off the bed and pulling me into her arms. “No. Don’t you dare apologize. That man was a psychopath. He had this way of convincing everyone to side with him, even if they knew it was wrong. You did nothing but protect yourself and your parents. None of this is your fault. It’s his. I’m so sorry. Sorry will never be enough to erase the pain, but that’s all I can say. You are strong and beautiful and fought so hard for the people you love.”
Leaning back, her glassy green eyes stare directly into mine, “You need to forgive yourself. You fought harder than anyone in this universe ever will, and they know that. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are badass, and I am honored to call you my best friend. Thank you for allowing me a chance to be a part of your family. Thank you for saving me, because if it wasn’t for you and your parents, I would not be here. And you can bet your ass that I will be here every step of the way while you navigate this next stage of life. I love you Al.”
My shoulders shake and I pull her back into my arms. “I love you too. So did they. I am so honored to have you as a sister. Thank you for giving me the space to navigate the lies.”
“Always. You’re stuck with me.”
We sit in silence, locked in each other’s embrace. The journey here may have been rocky, but I am so happy to be sitting here with her today.
Willow jumps up and starts licking both of our faces, and we fall back into the large beanbag in a fit of laughter.
The sun shines through the window as it starts to disappear beyond the horizon.
Many tears and hundreds of photos later, Logan and I start to clean everything up when a photo catches my eye.
“Hey! Do you remember this guy?” I ask Logan, holding a photo out to her.
Her eyes squint for a moment, then a big smile spreads across her face. “Holy shit. Is that Harrison?”
“Yep!”
Logan takes the photo of all three of us at the Alabama vs Auburn game. “Damn. I miss that crazy boy. I was always so jealous he followed you to Florida.”
“He actually reached out to me shortly after I got here last year. I told him about Mom and Dad and you.”
“Oh shit, how did he take it?” Logan says, leaning against the bed.
“As expected. You know he loved them as much as you did. I haven’t spoken to him since I got back, but he said he was on the West Coast and wanted to see us. Would you be okay if I invited him out to Seattle?”
“Of course. It would be amazing to have another familiar face around here. Plus, Harper, Noah, and Lainey would love him. Noah, especially since they are both the biggest golden retrievers I’ve ever met.”
I chuckle. “I’ve only met Lainey a handful of times, but she reached out while I was gone. She seems super sweet and I would love to get together with her, and I definitely need to meet the infamous Harper.”
“Oh. She is something, but you will love her. Text Harrison and I will text the girls. Maybe we can do a girls’ night or something? The boys are bound to go on a mission again soon and I go back to work soon, so it may be nice to introduce you to the crew so you don’t just have me or Landon.”
I shake my head, my eyes rolling, “Lo. I love you and appreciate the thought, but I don’t need babysitters. I’m okay.”
“That’s not what I meant, Al. You will learn very quickly that this town and this family take care of their own. We love hard and protect even harder. You may not see it yet, but Shelly and Conrad have already brought you under their umbrella of protection. So I suggest you just sit back and accept the overwhelming wave of love and support from all different walks of life.”
I knew coming back would be hard and I know I have a long way to go, but I can already tell I made the right decision to come back to the place that I didn’t choose to be my new home. In a way, I feel like fate or someone drifting along the universe put me in this path for a reason, whatever it may be.
Together, Logan and Iclose up the albums and make our way back down the stairs, but I stop in my tracks and glance at Landon’s door.
“Lo. I’ll meet you downstairs. I need to grab something.”
“Okay. I am ordering food from the diner. Come down when you’re ready.”
Turning around, I pause at Landon’s door for a moment before twisting the knob and walking in. The second I step inside, the smell of Landon surrounds me. An overwhelming feeling of happiness, mixed with a slight hint of nervousness, hits me at once.
What is going to happen when he comes back? Are the feelings that have only grown stronger still going to be there when we see each other for the first time? Or are we just better as friends?
Either way, I know for certain, Landon Parker Hayes is meant to be in my life. I didn’t fight like hell to crawl out of rock bottom and get to the light at the end of the tunnel just to let him walk away.
I look around the room one last time and just as I am about to head back downstairs, I see the same gray and black flannel that he offered me so many times, that always felt like the best hug in times where I didn’t want to feel his hands on me.
The desperate need to feel a hug like that overwhelms me, and I stare at the shirt. Fuck it. Snatching it off the hanger, I pull it on and immediately feel that sensation that I have been needing for months and head back downstairs.
As soon as I enter the kitchen, Logan glances up at and her eyes lock on my new attire and smiles.
“Nice shirt. Judging by the fact that it does not look like it remotely fits you, I think you will be happy with the text I just got.”
My brows raise in question, and I cut the distance between us. Logan turns her phone around so I can see.
Bear : Landon is coming home. Dad is going to pick him up since we are on a mission. He will be home in two days. Call you later. Love you Angel.
Holy shit.
In two days I will come face to face with the man whom I feel an indescribable tether to. I’m nervous, but I’m ready to finally see my best friend again, regardless of where the future takes us.