Chapter 12
Xander
Four Months Earlier
“Piper and I need to head back to Chicago in a few weeks,” Noah tells me. We just got done with our run and are both breathing hard and sweating.
We grab bottles of water, and I throw some cash at the vendor. I knew Noah wouldn’t stay in New York forever, but I can’t say I’m not disappointed.
“Not sure how you can leave New York,” I tell him.
“You were going to. You still will.” He says with surety and confidence.
“You said I planned to move to Chicago, but there is no way I could ever leave New York.”
Noah laughs. “You got your dream position. They are still holding it for you. You’ll be moving one of these days. I don’t doubt it.”
I shake my head, trying to grasp living anywhere besides New York. “Honestly. Can you say you don’t miss New York when you’re in Chicago?”
Noah shrugs. “Sure. There are things I’ll always miss about New York, but Chicago isn’t bad. Besides, I got Piper.”
I’m happy he has Piper. I like her, too. But a twinge of pain fills my heart that I still haven’t found Billie. “Hopefully, I’ll find Billie soon, and we can work out whatever happened between us.”
Noah stops walking, and sternly says, “Xander, you need to stop this.”
“Stop what?”
“Searching for Billie. It’s not healthy.”
“But I love her.”
“No, you don’t,” he scolds.
“Don’t tell me I don’t love her.”
“You do not love Billie. Stop trying to find her. Why don’t you come over and talk to Charlotte and see if you remember her now that you’re beginning to remember some things? Maybe then you’ll realize you don’t love Billie.”
I glare at him. “I won’t give some poor girl hope I might remember her when I want nothing to do with her.”
“You don’t know you want nothing to do with her. You’ve not giving it a chance to see if you remember her.”
I grind my teeth. “I would never do that to Billie.”
“Jesus, Xander. You’re not doing anything to Billie. She’s been gone for over ten years. You’re way better off without her. When are you going to understand this?”
He’s trying to help me, but he doesn’t understand. I tell Noah for the hundredth time, “I’ll understand it when I either remember it or find Billie.”
He sighs, just as frustrated as I am. “You’ve already started remembering so much.
The doctors assume it’s only a matter of time before everything comes back enough for you to resume surgery.
Come over to my place and visit with Charlotte before she moves back.
I’m confident once you spend time with her you’ll remember more. ”
I shake my head. “I already saw her and didn’t remember her.”
“You were on a ton of meds and had only been awake a few days. Let’s try.”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not fair to use people like that. I’m in love with Billie. I need to find her and work out whatever miscommunication we had. We’ll get through it, and then we can be together again.”
Noah stares at me like I’m crazy. “She could be married with a dozen kids right now.”
She’d better not be.
“If she is, I’ll deal with it, but I need to know I at least did all I could to save us.”
“Xander—”
“Let’s change the subject.”
A few weeks pass, and Noah and Piper have left for Chicago. I’m running on my own through Central Park.
“And you wouldn’t have any issue moving to Chicago?” A woman with short chestnut hair flashes in my mind. She’s sitting behind a big mahogany desk and holding her pen, ready to write all my responses.
“No issues. This is the position I’ve always wanted. Chicago is a big city, like New York,” I tell her.
I stop running as the conversation replays so bright in my mind, it’s like it’s happening right now.
“Well, Chicago isn’t as big as New York,” she says.
I laugh. “I’ll be okay. In all fairness, I imagine you’ll keep me so busy I won’t even notice.”
She smiles. “You probably are right about that. Do you have a family that needs to relocate?”
“Nope. I’m baggage-free. There’s no one to convince or worry about.”
“Great. Baggage-free is easier. Makes it a little easier for you to slave away in the operating room all day and night,” she jokes.
“I won’t have a problem with that, either,” I tell her, not to get the job but because it’s true. I love being a surgeon.
“The position won’t be open for another few months. Dr. Richardson is retiring, and he hasn’t given his full resignation date yet, but he’s toying with four months.”
“I’m fine with that timeline. Like I said, no baggage to worry about.”
She writes some notes and puts her pen down. “Dr. Sear and Wemer both gave their approval. The position is yours if you want it.”
I stick out my hand. “I definitely want it. Thank you. I’m excited about this.”
She shakes my hand. “We are excited to have you on board. As soon as we get further clarification from Dr. Richardson about his retirement date, I’ll notify you. How much notice do you need to begin your duties?”
“A two-week notice for my current hospital and long enough for a plane flight.”
“That easy, huh?”
“As I said, this is my dream job, and I have no baggage.”
I leave the hospital and take an Uber over to Noah’s penthouse where I punch in the code and text him I’m there. It doesn’t take long before he’s next to me, and we are cracking open a celebration beer.
“Thank fuck you got the job. I’m dying here all by myself,” Noah says.
“Is it really that bad?”
He sighs. “No, Chicago is fine, I guess. It’s a lot harder than I guessed it would be here on my own.”
“Haven’t you made some friends?”
“No. Only Piper, but she hates me.”
I reel back. “Dude, that makes zero sense. She’s your friend but hates you?”
“That would be our relationship. Zero sense.”
I consider. “So, is this Piper friend slash hater going out with us tonight?”
“I mentioned she hates me, right?”
“So that’s a no?”
“Definite no.”
I laugh. “I take it you’ve slept with this girl?”
“Yep. And she’s my employee.”
My eyes widen. “You didn’t dip it in the company ink.”
“Oh, but I did. And I knew I shouldn’t before, during, and after I did it.”
I take a sip of beer and laugh. “Man, Noah. Chicago is doing a number on you, huh?”
“Tell me about it.”
“I guess the good news is we both get to hit the town single and free tonight. No baggage to deal with.”
Noah gives me a half smile.
I shake my head. “You have it bad for this girl, don’t you?”
“I wish I could say no, but I would be lying.”
I laugh. “All right. Well, maybe we can change that tonight.”
“Please. Put me out of my misery.”
“Will do my best. So, where are we going?”
“No idea.”
I squint at him. “You’ve not gone out since you moved, have you?”
“No.”
I pull out my phone and scroll for things to do in Chicago. “It’s a good thing I’m moving here. You’re on track to have the most boring life on earth.”
The memory fades, and another portion of my life becomes clear to me. Noah was right. I wanted to move to Chicago and didn’t care about leaving New York. I wanted that position.
I stand, stunned for a minute, then run again as the conversation repeats in my mind.
When I get back to my apartment, I pick up my phone, type in Angela Sincroy, and hit the call button.
“Angela Sincroy,” she answers.
“Hi, Angela. This is Dr. Xander Kane.”
She sounds surprised. “Dr. Kane. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling a lot better. Thank you for asking.”
“Great to hear.”
“Are you still holding the position for me?”
“Yes. Dr. Richardson said he would stay on a few more months if you believe you’ll be able to past testing from your doctors by then.”
Relieved, I reply, “Yes, I expect I will complete the physical with flying colors.”
“That’s great, Dr. Kane.”
“So, you’ll hold the position for me?”
“Yes. As long as you can pass your physicals within the next few months, but I need to tell you Dr. Richardson is getting antsy.”
“I understand. Please tell him I appreciate it, and I will be ready.”
“That’s great to hear. Please have your physicians send all their test reports directly to me.”
“Sounds good, Angela. Thank you.”
“Great to speak with you, Dr. Kane. I’m glad you’re recovering.”
“Me, too. Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon.” I disconnect and sit back, looking out into the New York skyline. There are no more doubts. My life is waiting for me in Chicago.