Chapter 16
Unhinged
ELIAS
Iam officially an unhinged stalker. Before Riley I thought men stalked women for a thrill, but that’s not it at all.
I’m not thrilled to be hiding in the shadows with a camera like a creep, but I’m just obsessed beyond reason these days, and I have to know where she is and who she’s with.
Having her location isn’t enough, especially after all the crazy shit that went down after we left Colin’s party on Halloween.
I checked it before practice, after practice, after my shower, and every time I looked she was in the same place.
Until now.
Now she’s at some coffee shop a half a mile off campus, and I’m using my digital to zoom in and see who the hell she’s with. I’m starting to wonder which one of us really holds the power here, because video or not, I feel like I’m losing it — are you fucking kidding me?
Riley is sitting across from that vanilla fuck Dennis, and she’s smiling like he’s the funniest guy in the world. Fuck this.
I snap a photo of them together and quickly bluetooth it to my phone so I can send it to her.
Me
[photo]
There’s no way he’s that fucking funny, Riley!
Zooming in again so I can watch her reaction, I nearly whip my camera when she doesn’t immediately check her phone. It’s right in front of her, but it takes almost three full minutes for her to actually peek at it.
When she does, her smile fades.
Cupcake
That’s low even for you, Eli. Where the hell are you?
Low? I’ll show you low.
I stuff my camera away in the bag and stomp my way over, the stupid bell above the door giving my entrance away, but it just so happens Dennis is bringing out Riley Miley because she looks completely unbothered and too distracted to notice.
“What’s this?” I ask, sliding into the booth next to her like I belong here. “What’d we order, cupcake?”
I take a sip while they’re both still in shock, but Riley recovers first. “We ordered coffee,” she says firmly. “But I’m so sorry, I didn’t order you any because I don’t remember inviting you. We’ll have to get our waitress back over here.”
Dennis shifts. “It’s not what it looks like, man. I know she’s yours.”
“Do you?” I ask aggressively, leaning forward on the table to brace on my arms and keep his eyes on me. “Looks a little different from where I’m sitting, Dennis. Maybe you should clear the air, huh? Why’d you ask her to come here? Because I know it wasn’t her.”
His eyes flick to Riley, who answers for him. “It was me, Eli. I asked him to come here, to a public place, so I could ask him questions for an article I’m writing for class.”
Goddamnit.
How am I supposed to feel justified in punching this asshat in the face if she’s the one reaching out to him? “And did he answer your questions?”
I’m still watching him squirm under my sharp gaze as Riley gets even more irritated. “Some of them,” she mutters. “We just got here.”
I stare at him a full minute longer before I finally turn and look at her.
“You’ve been here long enough. Excuse the fuck out of me for feeling a little left out of your coffee date with your ex fuck.
Is there a reason this couldn’t have been an email?
No, actually, is there a reason you kept this a secret and met up this far from campus? ”
Riley’s blushing for the wrong reasons this time as Dennis scoffs. “Is there a reason you don’t trust your girlfriend?”
“It’s fine,” she says quickly. “I got what I needed, so thank you, Dennis.”
He seems to feel the threat when my head swivels his way, because I catch the flinch in his shoulders even though he’s trying not to show it. “Ask that question one more time? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“You clearly don’t trust her, so why are you with her? Every time I see you two together, she looks fucking embarrassed and you look pissed off at her for existing.”
He might be right, but it’s obvious he’s the common denominator there. He’s never seen us in a good moment because he’s actively trying to get in between us, and it’s time I prove to him that he can’t. I never liked this coffee shop anyway.
Huffing, I stand from the table so abruptly their coffees spill, and as he moves to do the same, my fist meets him halfway to shove him right back down.
Several people scream as he collapses into his chair and slides right off onto his ass, but he gets up quickly with fury lining his face as he rubs his jaw. “Yeah, you clearly trust her. My bad.” His eyes flick to my girl. “Don’t call me again. Good luck with your article.”
He walks out as one of the baristas hustles over, and I take one angry glance at my split knuckles and fight the urge to chase him. What a bitch. The least he could have done is hit me back.
“Get out!” she screams, phone in hand like she’s about to call it in, and I hold up my hands in surrender.
“I’m leaving. Come on, Riley.”
She’s staring at the table with her jaw clenched, standing roughly and walking out without me.
I wait until we’re outside and she’s still speed walking ahead of me to catch up and try to talk to her. “Baby, wait.”
I grab her hand so she doesn’t have a choice but to face me, but she wrenches away so hard, I flinch. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”
How much time do we have?
“I don’t know,” I admit. “The thought of him touching you again makes me fucking crazy.”
“We’re not dating!” she snaps. “It’s not fucking real, Elias.
We have a break-up date already. And he wasn’t touching me anyway, he was helping me with an article I’m writing.
We met out here because I thought it would be less likely anyone would see us and question our fucking sham of a relationship, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe I’ll go to the moon next time.”
“We fucking are dating,” I snap back. “Until that date comes, you’re mine. And I don’t share, Riley.”
She huffs. “I wasn’t asking you to share. I didn’t touch him, nor did I have any plans to. He’s right, you don’t trust me, which is weird considering that you’ve made it so abundantly clear what you’ll do to me if I don’t behave perfectly.”
“This isn’t just about trusting you, I don’t trust him. I don’t trust dudes. How do you not see that?”
“Oh, I get it,” she says sarcastically. “You thought he was going to rape me in the middle of a coffee shop.”
Rape? Jesus. “No. That’s not what I mean. I wouldn’t put it past some guys, but I was meaning he’d try and get you back.”
“Which means you didn’t trust me to say no if he tried.” She turns away from me, but doesn’t take a single step. “It’s a good thing you don’t expect this to last past New Year’s.”
Stepping in, I let her feel my body behind her as I wrap my arms around her. “You don’t have a clue what I expect to happen, Riley,” I say low in her ear.
Because neither do I.
“Are you threatening me again?”
No. Not that she’d believe it. “What’s the article about anyway? Why him?”
She hesitates. “Insider trading. I was interviewing him because he’s the only finance major I know.”
“And you chose to meet with him when you knew I was at practice. Why? Why not tell me?”
She turns around to face me again with fire in her eyes. “Because I knew you’d say no, or you’d demand to come, and my interview would be shot because you’d make it some weird pissing match. And in case you’re curious, real or not real, I will never ask your permission to do my homework or my job.”
That’s fair as fuck. “I’m not — you don’t — fuck.”
What am I even trying to say to her right now? I’m scrambling to hang onto the ledge of something already collapsing, and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s messed with my head so much I don’t even recognize myself, and yet all she sees is me being controlling. I am… but it’s also… more.
“You don’t need my permission,” I force out, needing her to hear me say it. “I didn’t mean to ask for permission, but if I was privately meeting with one of the girls I used to fuck I’d have at least told you. It’s common courtesy in real relationships.”
Which we are not in. Goddamnit.
She purses her lips. “If we ever become a real couple, I’ll keep that in mind. Until then, I just won’t speak or look at anything with a penis except for you. Though—” she pauses, smirking slightly — “I guess this is a good time to tell you I’m bi. So maybe I just won’t talk to anyone at all.”
Fuck me that’s so hot. How the hell am I supposed to focus now?
“You are?”
“Yep. So do I need to tell you every single time I’m alone with another human, or is it still just the guys you’re worried about?”
“Well, that would be sexist… or… homophobic? Whatever, no. I’m not trying to lock you in a box, alright? I just want to know if you’re going to be around someone you’ve already fucked. Do you not want to know if I am?”
Her face screws up and then slowly gets redder as she fumbles for an answer. “I don’t have that kind of time in my day, Elias. I’m sure you’ve fucked half the campus by now.”
Frowning, I reach out and touch her face, biting back my anger when she tugs away like I burned her. “I haven’t. I get why you won’t believe that, but I haven’t. I hadn’t even fucked anyone this year before I met you. Not at this school anyway.”
She scoffs, but I see it in her eyes when she softens. “I should’ve told you, okay? Even knowing you’d have been a psycho about it, I should’ve told you.”
“Thank you,” I force out, then realize with a jolt we’re actually fucking communicating for once. “You’re not wrong though,” I admit. “I’d have demanded I come along.”
“I just won’t let it happen again,” she says softly, crossing her arms over her chest like she’s hugging herself. “I know you’re mad, but please don’t release it.”
Shit. And that there is why she’ll never come to me, why she’ll never be able to trust me. “Can I hug you or are you going to knee me in the balls?”
“There’s a solid chance I’ll knee you in the balls,” she says quickly. “Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”
“Yeah, it is.” Before she can move, I wrap her stiff little body in my arms so she doesn’t have to hug herself. “I’m more mad that my hand hurts now than anything else, but I guess that’s my issue. I’m not releasing the video, alright?”
She relaxes slowly, gripping my shirt behind my back. “Well, you got what you wanted. I doubt he’ll ever speak to me again, even next year.”
“Good. I just don’t get why he didn’t hit me back. He just took the punch… who does that?”
“The kind of man who doesn’t think I’m worth fighting for, because we were never anything but fuckbuddies, and he genuinely wasn’t trying to get me back,” she says simply. “He has a girlfriend now.”
“Well I wish them all the vanilla sex in the world. The universe needs those people too.” Gripping her hair, I tug back slightly so she has no choice but to look at me. “Now kiss me like you mean it. People are watching.”
The light leaves her eyes a little before she closes them and kisses me, rocking up on her toes to manage it. To the outside world, it’ll look believable enough. But to me? I know how she kisses me when she’s into it, and this isn’t it.
I think I fumbled what just happened here, but as she takes my hand and lets me lead her back to her dorm, I decide not to push her any further.
Two steps forward, three steps back… if only I had a clue where the fuck we’re going.