Chapter 4
Rue
I take a sip of the fruit punch I’ve been clinging to like a lifeline for the past hour. There are so many people here—some I recognize and some I don’t, which isn’t surprising, considering the immense size of Fallbrook.
From my spot at the kitchen table, I watch people from school laugh together, pose for blurry photos, sip from Solo cups, and lean too close while they’re socializing.
Dot’s house feels packed tonight. The kitchen opens straight into the living room, where most people are gathered around the fireplace and couch.
A narrow hallway leads toward the front door, which keeps swinging open as more students arrive.
I catch sight of Dot looking radiant in gold hoops and a blue crop top.
Zayne’s arm is around her waist as he whispers something in her ear that makes her giggle.
When I first got here, her whole face lit up, which made everything worth it, but now Zayne’s been hogging her the entire night, and I have no one else to talk to. None of my other friends are here yet.
But even if they were, only Mabel would speak to you.
I take another sip of punch and try to tune out the conversations around me.
Everyone talks so loudly, though. It’s impossible not to eavesdrop a little.
Someone mentions basketball, and my gaze snaps in the direction of the front door just in time to see Ezra come in with Mabel’s boyfriend, Tucker.
Ezra makes eye contact with me briefly before I quickly glance away.
He doesn’t exist.
I go back to people watching, and when I hear my own name come up once, and again a second time, I decide to move from the kitchen to the living room.
I shuffle through the crowd toward the living room just as a tightly packed group near the fireplace separates.
And then I see him.
Carlton Peters. Standing near the fireplace, laughing at something Javier, a guy from drama club is saying. He’s wearing a charcoal hoodie and jeans, looking beautiful and effortless. He must feel my gaze somehow, because his eyes sweep the room and land right on me.
My heart stumbles.
Carlton says something to Javier and walks toward me like nothing ever changed and he still plans to flirt with me, without any of our friends knowing, like he has since the start of Junior year.
“Hey,” he says, voice low. Smooth. “You came.”
I nod. “You sound surprised.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” He touches my arm. “You look…wow. But then, you’ve always looked good in purple.”
My stomach forgets whose side it’s on. I open my mouth to say something smart, or maybe even cold, but all I can mutter is, “Oh, um, thanks. I’m surprised you even noticed.” The last part comes out super quiet, making me blush.
He laughs, and it’s the same sound that always makes me forget why I’m mad at him in the first place.
Other than the flirting that started up this year, my friendship with him has always been so refreshing.
Carlton has a way of making me feel more important than I am.
He never makes fun of me for being quiet, and seems to pick up on everything I say and respond to it, when sometimes my other friends don’t.
Maybe they don’t always know what to say, or maybe they don’t hear me sometimes, but Carlton does. He always does.
“Still got that edge,” he murmurs, stepping a little closer. “I’ve missed it.”
He’s too near now, too familiar, too warm, and I hate how much I don’t want to move.
“Carlton,” a voice snaps from behind him.
We both turn to find Meredith standing near the drink table with one brow raised. She crosses her arms over her chest, and her red-glossed mouth curves downward.
Carlton’s smile falters. “I’ll be right back,” he tells Meredith.
“I need, uh… something to eat.” The words are nothing more than a guilty mumble as he slips away.
From across the room, Meredith’s cold stare hits me like a boxing glove.
I’ve never seen that look of hers directed at me before, and it makes my stomach drop.
I’m used to her ignoring me lately, but this? This is so much worse.
I brace for impact as she walks straight up to me. “What are you doing?”
I shrug. “Just talking to a friend.”
Meredith folds her arms. “Yeah, someone you’re still pining after, even though he’s with me.”
“I’m not pining after Carlton.” I let my tone match hers.
Normally, I’d apologize or soften her anger with kindness, but something snaps inside me.
I’ve been trying to get her to talk to me for weeks.
I’ve been sad, lonely, and desperate to mend things with her.
She’s only choosing now to speak to me because she thinks I’m trying to steal Carlton from her, and it hurts.
“Don’t play dumb, Rue.”
“I’m not playing anything.”
“You’re flirting with my boyfriend.”
“Well, if I was, I didn’t mean to. I was minding my own business over here when he came over and started talking to me. I'm not going to be rude, but I would never do anything shady, Mere. You know how much I value our friendship.”
“Apparently not.” Her jaw tightens. “You think this is cute? You think playing the victim gets you sympathy points forever?”
“I didn’t ask for any of this!” The words burst out before I can stop them.
Thankfully, someone turned the music up loud enough to prevent anyone from noticing.
People weave in and out from around us, but no one stays close enough to hear.
Still, the last thing I need is all these people around staring at us.
“I didn’t want LB to post about me, and I definitely didn’t want Carlton to—” I break off, blinking fast. I can’t even finish the sentence and say, I didn’t want Carlton to find out about my crush on him.
Because it’s not true. Not really. What I wanted was for him to find out and finally choose me, instead of trying to win over Dot when she obviously liked Zayne.
But instead, he moved straight from Dot to Meredith.
I wish his wishy-washiness about me was more of a turn-off, but it doesn’t change anything for me, and I hate it.
I sigh. “Can we please just make up?”
She narrows her eyes. “No. It’s too weird now. How can I be friends with you knowing you have a thing for him?”
“I don’t like him anymore. I’ve moved on,” I lie.
“Then why were you flirting with him?” My stomach lurches, and I know she sees right through me.
Meredith leans in, all glitter and venom.
As someone turns the music back down, she says loud enough for everyone to hear, “You can pretend all you want, but everyone sees you for what you are now. Sad little Rue, still hoping someone will pick her.”
It lands too hard. Harder than I expect.
A burning sensation claws its way up my throat as I struggle to stay composed.
A few whispers sound around us. The music still hasn’t picked back up, and from the corner of my eye, I catch Dot’s concerned glance in my direction.
Zayne frowns as he watches us and nods when she asks him something.
Knowing Dot, she’s probably moments from coming over here to check and see if everything is all right.
But I don’t want to wait for that to happen.
I turn away from Meredith, from everyone, and brush past the stiff shoulders blocking me in.
I know I should probably be furious at her right now, but I can’t help but think back to last year when she found out her last boyfriend cheated on her, and she ugly cried into my shoulder in the girls’ bathroom while I tried to be a good friend and comfort her.
And the year before that, one of Meredith’s other friends used her to get closer to a boy they both liked.
The situation with me and Carlton must hit too close to home for her, otherwise I know she would never be this harsh.
And then another familiar voice drifts from the fireplace behind me. Carlton must think I already left. “I’ve told you there’s nothing to worry about, Mere. Rue means nothing to me. She’s like a harmless puppy that won’t take the hint it’s not wanted.”
The words practically knock the wind out of me.
They’re more than I can take. Yeah, Carlton has a reputation for being a flirt, but I thought we really did have a connection.
Now I realize I’m just another girl who fell for the act.
I’ve always prided myself on being able to read people correctly, but apparently I completely misread how Carlton thinks of me.
Any feelings I’ve had for him evaporate into thin air.
Laughter ripples through the group near the fireplace with him. My eyes sting. I’m frozen until another voice cuts through the laughter.
“Don’t talk about Rue like that. She is wanted. By me.” Ezra Davis is standing just behind Carlton, his gaze locked on me like he saw the whole thing happen. My stomach clenches when I see the clearly visible sympathy in his eyes.
The entire room stills. Meredith blinks. Carlton’s face drains of color as Ezra steps forward, slipping an arm around my shoulders. “You good?” he murmurs, just loud enough for everyone to hear.
But I can’t breathe, let alone answer him. Because my mind is still scrambling to process what he just said. The music has faded to a low background thump, and half the room is staring at us now.
Ezra just smiles at me. It’s such a confident, controlled smile. Then, to Carlton, he says, “Next time you decide to insult my girlfriend, maybe do it somewhere I can’t hear you, unless you want that pretty face ruined.”
Dot’s eyes go wide across the room. Mabel’s jaw drops. Meredith lets out an incredulous laugh. “Since when are you dating Rue?”
But Ezra doesn’t answer her. Instead, he gently pulls us through the crowd with his arm still around my shoulders. Someone whistles. A girl near the couch whispers, “Wait… Ezra Davis and Rue are together?”
Phones start coming out.