Chapter 4 #2
For one dizzy second, I wonder if I actually passed out and imagined all this. Ezra Davis, my worst enemy, is claiming me as his girlfriend in front of everyone. And they’re all eating it up.
The cool night air hits me like a reset button. Though it wakes me up a little, my pulse is still sprinting, my face still burns, and I can already feel tomorrow’s whispers sharpening their claws.
As soon as we step completely outside, Ezra guides me down the porch steps and toward the edge of the yard before I yank free and sit on the curb.
I bury my face in my hands. My shoulders shake as I let the bitter tears escape.
They hit my cheeks like a slap thanks to the chill in the air.
Goosebumps cover my skin, making me realize I forgot my leather jacket inside.
But I don’t even care. I’m sure Dot will bring it to school on Monday.
Pressing my palms hard against my eyes, I continue crying and hoping to just disappear at this point.
I never should have come tonight. I should have just told Dot I have too much homework, or maybe that I wasn’t feeling well, and spared myself the embarrassment.
It’s bad enough that Meredith and Carlton think I’m sick from sad little puppy love.
It’s worse that they kicked this dog while I’m already down, right in front of everyone. But the worst part of all?
Ezra.
What he just did.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been grateful Little Birdie disappeared. If she were still around, I’d definitely be tonight’s topic.
But this grace period isn’t going to last forever.
With a sharp jolt of dread, I remember that by tomorrow night, there will be a new Little Birdie. All I can do is hope I don’t find my way onto her list of newsworthy gossip.
Ezra sighs. “Rue?”
I lift my head to glare at him. “What were you thinking? Why would you intervene like that?”
He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “You looked like you were about to cry. I couldn’t stand there and let them treat you like that.”
I bite my tongue against a snarky “Since when?” and instead say, “So your solution was to complicate things even more by pretending to be my boyfriend?”
“I wasn’t trying to complicate things. I was trying to get them to shut up.”
“Well, congratulations. You’ve done the opposite. That little stunt will make me gossip material all over again.”
His expression softens. “Then let me deal with whatever gossip comes out of it. You shouldn’t have to.”
“Hate to break it to you, but you can’t direct the aftermath of gossip only at yourself.”
He shrugs. “Maybe not, but I can try.”
The streetlights hum around us. For a moment, neither of us moves.
“Why would you even care?” I whisper.
He just frowns, and then his voice comes out rougher. “It’s not like I ever stopped. Yeah, I was a jerk, but…”
My heart beats a little faster, but I ignore it. “Just leave me alone.”
The alarm in his gaze as he takes in my red-rimmed eyes, my sniffly nose, and my pinched expression is impossible to ignore. “At least let me make sure you get home safe.” It doesn’t sound like a question. More like a demand.
“No.”
He squats down in front of me so we’re eye to eye.
A wave of his body wash and cologne brushes over my face. I forgot how good he smells. I sniffle a little again.
“Everything is going to be okay.” His voice is so low. So gentle. It makes my tight stomach unravel a little.
I wrap my arms around my knees and shake my head, knowing everyone back in the party is talking about me and analyzing everything right this moment. “No, it’s not.”
He clenches his jaw. “Come on. You think it’s going to be like this forever because of Carlton?”
At the mention of his name, my heart sinks. A fresh round of tears threatens to appear, so I stand and start walking toward the direction of my house.
“Where are you going?” Ezra asks from behind me.
“Home.”
“Let me drive you.”
I shake my head. “It’s literally right down the street.”
He steps in front of me, steadying me by the shoulders with his hands. “I know where you live, Rue.” A cute little half-smile appears. It’s the kind of smile that weakens knees. The kind of smile that, when accompanied by faces and deep voices like his, weakens resolve right along with knees.
“What about Tucker? Didn’t you two come together?”
“He can catch a ride with Mabel.”
“Fine,” I mutter, defeated.
He seems pleased by my answer, but his smile is replaced with a frown when he takes in what I’m wearing. “Don’t you have a jacket?”
“I left it inside.”
“Wait here, I’ll go get it.”
“No.” I reach my hand out to stop him, but recoil when I almost touch his hard shoulder. “I just want to go. It’s fine.”
“This Carlton guy really did a number on you.” A furrow appears between his brows as he removes his thick letterman jacket.
He drapes it over my shoulders, and we walk down the street until we reach his car.
I hate how pleased I am that his smell clings to the heavy fabric. This whole thing feels so surreal.
Ezra opens the passenger door to his car for me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go in there and teach him some manners?”
I roll my eyes and get in. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
He’s silent. I notice the hard set of his mouth as he gets in and starts the engine. As we drive, I catch sight of his stony expression from my peripherals. Finally, he says, “Sometimes people make mistakes. That doesn’t mean they can’t learn from them.”
I want to scream in frustration. Why is he being so nice to me right now, all of a sudden? It can’t be a coincidence that this is the first time we’ve spoken in years, and we happened to lock eyes up close after his game yesterday.
With him right here, the memories flood me. It’s all too much—the way his voice wraps around me like a caress, along with the sweet, musky scent of his jacket that I’m still wearing, and the knowledge that Meredith really wants nothing to do with me.
I’ve lost her friendship for good.
I almost don’t trust myself to talk the rest of the ride because I’m worried I might break down again, but we need to discuss what just happened.
What am I going to do about this situation? People literally think Ezra is my boyfriend now! I could deny it, but that makes both of us look stupid and weird. Do I stage a fake break-up to get us out of this, or would it be better to pretend for a little longer? And is he willing to do that?
“Ezra…are you really going to pretend to be my boyfriend?”
“Yeah. If it helps you.”
I scowl at him. “What makes you think I would ever want your help? Like, ever?”
He taps his chin like he’s pretending to think. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you looked like you were about to burst into tears back there.”
“I had it under control!”
“I don’t think you did. But if that’s true, then I’m sorry.”
I blow out a frustrated breath, crossing my arms. “I don’t know how to get out of this mess you made.”
“What mess? It seems pretty simple to me. We’re dating now, like I said at the party.” At the glare I send his way, he flinches. “What? I’m not so bad.”
“You’re the worst, actually. The worst ever.”
He grins, trying not to laugh. “Oh, come on.”
“It’s not funny, and you need to stay away from me.”
“Kinda hard to do with you being my new girlfriend and all.”
I make a gagging sound that I hope seriously wounds his confidence. “Don’t ever say that again. I don’t want to be in the same car as you, let alone be your girlfriend.”
“Well, to be fair,” he says, gripping the steering wheel. “You’re the one who got in here with me. But if you really hate me that much, we don’t have to do this, Rue.”
I take a deep breath. Some of my anger fades away. “I just want to know why you did it. Why lie for me and pretend we’re together?” My face burns.
Ezra sighs, glancing away from the road for a moment to study me.
It’s still so bizarre to talk to him. There are mannerisms of his I somehow forgot about over time, like how he licks his lips sometimes when he’s thinking, or how he used to always rock on his heels. The familiarity hits me with a strange comfort that I don’t want to feel.
“I know you probably won’t believe me if I tell you the truth…
that I’m sorry for what I did all those years ago, that I want to make things up to you.
So if it makes you feel better, you can tell yourself whatever you want.
Either way, you can’t deny Meredith seemed a lot less angry at you once she heard we’re together. ”
My shoulders droop with my exhale, like all the willpower has exited my body, too. Because he’s right. Meredith was a lot less angry. “Fine.”
He blinks. “What?”
“Fine. I guess we can just keep it going for a little while. At least, until Meredith realizes I have zero interest in Carlton.”
When he pulls up in front of my house, I see the living room lights still on. Mom must be waiting up to hear about the party. The thought makes my throat burn again.
“Thanks for the ride,” I mutter, and get out of the car.
He gets out too, and walks me halfway up the drive. “Wait a minute. Shouldn’t we talk about the rest of the deets?”
I frown. “Deets?”
“Yeah, you know. The details of our new relationship.”
“First of all, stop calling it that. It’s not a real relationship. And second of all, there are no details to discuss. The whole thing is simple enough. When people are looking, we’re together. When no one is looking, you leave me alone. And eventually we break up.”
Ezra smiles faintly. “Rue, come on. We should at least go over what you are and aren’t okay with. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable. And we haven’t even discussed when we’re going to break up.”
“True,” I say. “But I don’t really know. Whenever there won’t be any drama about it.”
He laughs. “Without any drama? Rue, do you know what school we go to?”
Part of me wants to laugh, too, but I keep it at bay. “Unfortunately. And you’re right. We probably should go over everything. But not here, where anyone might, uh, be watching or listening.”
He nods. “Okay. Should I text you? I don’t have your phone number anymore.”
I reach into my pocket and hand him my phone so he can enter his contact details, and he does the same for me.
“Don’t be mad,” he says with a grin, “But I’m adding something to my name that I know will make you smile, or maybe want to hit me. But hopefully smile.”
When he hands my phone back, I shove it in my pocket without looking to see what he added. Then I start to remove his coat.
Ezra shakes his head. “Keep it. Now that you’re my girlfriend.”
“No, just take it now. We don’t have to pretend when it’s just the two of us.”
But he’s already backing away from me with a mischievous grin on his face. His teeth flash white in the dark, the tiny studs in his ears catching the porch light. “You can give it to me at school. Goodnight, Rue. And by the way, I really like your new haircut.”
He…noticed the haircut? An unfamiliar emotion swarms my insides that can only be rage. How dare he act like he cares about me? How dare he compliment the haircut no one else noticed after pretending I don’t exist the past four years.
I take off the jacket and throw it at him, but it lands two feet away from me. Ugh!
Ezra doesn’t pick it up. He just chuckles before getting in his car and driving away.