Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
JASMINE
Usually, when the five of us sit together for a meal and catch up, the air is alive with chatter and laughter, but not today. There is still a lot of tension between the brothers, and I don’t miss how they are all watching me, as if they are waiting for me to fall apart or explode angrily. I’m too tired, physically and emotionally, to do either.
When I woke up this morning, I asked Sean and Maximus not to give Christian a hard time, and they agreed that enough had been said and done last night. They promised that no matter what Christian decided today, they would insist on me being present and knowing everything. I knew Christian had been hiding stuff from us all. They think I don’t realise everyone is on edge, but I do. I know my men as well as they know me, and I know Jason and the twins have been worried about their brother.
Seeing Christian sitting in his grey sweatpants and loose t-shirt, I realise how much he needs a break. I can’t wait for the next couple of weeks to get here so we can all get married and disappear for a short while. I think it’s something every one of us needs for one reason or another. I know I’m ready to hide away from the world with my men. I sometimes wish it could be longer and that we would never have to deal with all this crap again.
Since coming downstairs, I haven’t wanted to leave Christian’s side. I’ve sat beside him or curled up against him and listened, as now and again, his heart rate picks up as he stares off into space. Every time I’ve placed my hand over his heart or taken his hand in mine, just to remind him through contact that he’s not as alone as he seems to think.
I look up and watch him for a moment. He’s leaning his head against his right fist, staring at nothing whilst running his left hand up and down my arm. The other three are all talking among themselves, occasionally including Christian or me, but they know he needs space and are giving it to him.
“Daddy?” I whisper, looking up at him, realising he hasn’t looked away from the one spot on the wall. I startle him as he looks down at me as if he’d forgotten I was there.
“Sorry, Sweetheart. I’m useless when I’m hungover,” he sighs, kissing my head. He sighs and looks at his brothers, who have stopped talking and are now watching us.
“Why don’t we get this over with, and then we can all crash for a bit if we need to?” Jason suggests, turning his attention to me and giving me a small smile. “I think you could do with a nap,” he points out with a raised eyebrow. I nod while leaning further into Christian, liking the idea of curling up with him and going to sleep. But as much as I want to curl up and close my eyes, I know I can’t. Christian needs me right now, and I want to be here for him like he has always been for me.
Forcing myself to sit up from his side, I reach for my bottle of water on the coffee table and look around at my four men, who are all looking right back at me.
“I think you will need to start from the beginning. I’m guessing we don’t know everything, and Jasmine will know even less,” Sean starts looking to Christian, who nods before placing a hand on my leg.
“I know you are all going to have questions and will be angry at me for hiding stuff, but I swear I did it out of love and wanting to protect you.” Christian lets out a sigh before running his hand over his head. “That goes for all of you,” he adds, looking at his brothers. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you all to be safe, and Jasmine loved in the way she should have been her whole life. I didn’t want you worrying about the shit that I’ve been dealing with or worrying about me when I’m not here.” Christian looks down at me as he runs his bruised knuckles over my cheek. “I wanted you to be able to focus on your dancing, and for you to do that, I have hidden stuff from not only you but my brothers, too.”
I hear the others curse under their breath and know that things must be worse than I ever dreamt.
“How much stuff?” Jason asks from his seat.
“Enough.”
I glance at the others and see them all giving their undying attention to their eldest brother, who runs his hand over his head again before taking my left hand and playing with my engagement ring.
Watching Christian, I don’t miss how vulnerable he looks. He's not making eye contact with anyone and has lost the dominance he holds when in any room.
“The reason I’ve been away so much is that we have had a large number of properties burnt down or vandalised. There’s been sixteen in total.” All three of the guys curse under their breath. “Most of them were ones we took over from Taylor. People haven’t been happy and made sure they would be useless to us.”
I frown, wondering what he means.
“When we killed Taylor, we took procession of his businesses. The majority of them had been started with money we had given him, or Tommy had, so in theory, they were ours,” Christian explains.
“Over the last few months, more and more of our properties have been torched or vandalised. At first, it was the odd one, which you can expect now and again, especially as they were empty and ideal places for kids to hang out and cause trouble. Squatters took over one, and instead of kicking them out, I had it made it into a shelter for them. But over time, more and more things happened to the properties. Before Young’s death, there had been one, maybe two properties affected a month, which could all be put down to them being empty. I sold a few more off, and things seemed to calm down.”
“I take it things are getting worse,” I ask. Christian nods and closes his eyes for a moment.
“There has been something every other day: a break-in, broken windows, fires started, equipment damaged, the list goes on. It’s been exhausting, to put it mildly. It’s why I have been away so much. I’ve been dealing with everything that gets thrown at us.”
“Is that why you said I couldn’t go with you on the occasions I asked?”
Christian nods as he looks at me.
“Where were you when you said your phone was broken?” Jason asks, leaning forward and looking at his brother.
“I’d been arrested.”
“What?” all four of us cry out together. I look around and realise that I wasn’t the only one who had no idea.
“On what grounds?” Jason asks.
“Someone called and told them that I was lighting a fire in my own building to claim on the insurance, knowing that I was heading there after a tip-off about some squatters.”
“Let me guess, when you got there, the place had already been set alight?” Jason sighs as Christian nods.
“The police turned up as I was on the phone to the fire brigade. They arrested me and kept me as long as they could get away with. They tried to pin all kinds on me, and I had to prove to them I wasn’t involved in each property that had been damaged. It took the solicitor hours to get all my known whereabouts together for the previous few weeks.”
“Have they dropped all charges?” Sean asks. Christian nods, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“They had nothing to go on, but they are keeping an eye on me, which is why I’ve been away more than usual.”
“So, in other words, people aren’t happy about you taking Taylor’s buildings and are what? Claiming them back?” I ask, trying to get my head around it all.
“More like trying to get rid of him full stop,” Maximus adds, standing and walking away from the sofas. I look to Christian, who is back, staring at my hand and avoiding all eye contact.
“What aren’t you telling us?” Jason asks from across the room. Christian continues to look anywhere but at any of us. I look between the two of them, then the twins. No one is saying anything, just staring at Christian, who won’t look up. It’s Jason who breaks the silence.
“No!”
“I’ve had the details confirmed,” he starts before looking at Jason, who stares for a moment before jumping to his feet angrily.
“If you are saying what I think you are, I’m going to kick your fucking ass again.” Christian and Jason stare at each other before Jason snaps. “You fucking stupid, stubborn, proud bastard!” he starts pacing around, and I can see the twins don’t know what he’s on about.
“What?” Maximus asks as he stares at his brother. But Christian looks at me, and I know he doesn’t want to say it in front of me, which means it must be bad.
“Tell me.” The words barely a whisper, but I see the fear in Christian's eyes. “Whatever it is, we can deal with it together.” I’d hoped to reassure him, but from how he turns away and refuses to look at me, I know I failed.
“Tell her!” Jason snaps, standing in front of his brother. “Fucking tell the woman you claim to love what you have been hiding from all of us,” he shouts, pointing at me.
“I don’t claim to love her. I do fucking love her! Which is why I’ve been protecting her!” Christian shouts, jumping to his feet. “Everything I have been doing is to protect the four of you, especially her!”
The rest of us are on our feet now. All waiting for Jason and Christian to start fighting again.
“Protecting her? You’ve been putting her in even more danger, you fucking stupid moron!” Jason yells.
“Why do you think I’ve been away so much? Why do you think I never take her out anywhere anymore? The only time I spend with any of you is in this house where we are safe!” Christian shouts.
“Have you got a fucking price on your head?” Maximus's loud voice brings the world to an abrupt standstill. Everyone turns to look at him in unison, but the only person he has his sight on is Christian. Slowly, I force myself to look at Christian, staring at the floor.
“Daddy?” I’m not even sure the word made it past the lump in my throat. Everything around me fades into black when Christian turns his attention to me, and I see Maximus is right.
The lump in my throat thickens as my chest starts to burn with a lack of air. I instinctively try to breathe in, but I can’t.
“Shit,” someone curses as I hear the others move around me as if in another room. My heart’s pounding so hard that I can hear it. I know I should be doing something, anything to get air into my lungs, but all I can see is Christian and that someone wants to take him from me.
“Baby, breathe.” He’s so close now, and I know he has his hands on the top of my arms. He is all I can see as my vision becomes even more blurred.
“Jazzy, look at me.” Jason is beside him, but I’m too focused to see him; all I can see is Christan. With my eyes and chest burning, I subconsciously realise I’m having a panic attack. I know I’m gasping for breath, but nothing is happening; I’m locked in my own body, which is starting to give up.
“Baby, I’m here,” Christian whispers, touching my cheek. “I’m right here, Sweetheart, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears are streaming down my face as I continue to try and get some air into my lungs. My panic taking hold. All I can think about is that someone wants to take my daddy from me. Someone wants to take another person from me.
No.
That one word sounds louder in my head than anything else.
No.
It’s there again, and this time, I throw all my panic into the small hole my strength has created. Sounds start coming back to me, and I realise I can hear people arguing and talking over each other.
“Baby, you need to breathe.”
“Shorty needs you to fuck off, this is your fault!”
“Shouting at each other isn’t going to help!” Jason growls through his teeth before looking back at me.
I try to slow my breathing a little, trying to calm my racing heart. My chest is on fire as I struggle to see anything through the darkness. I try again to slow my breath, and again, I can take in a little more each time.
“Get back all of you,” Sean snaps as he pushes Christian out of my narrow tunnel of vision. His face appears in front of me, even disfigured through the fog I would know him anywhere. “Get over there and stay there until I tell you!” He doesn’t wait for a reply before cupping my face between his hands and looking deep into my eyes.
“I know you are scared and want answers, which you will get, but we need to calm you down first, Princess.” His voice is soft and soothing, which I need right now.
Again, I try to slow my breathing, and Sean gives me a reassuring smile.
“You’re attempting to take control, aren’t you? I can see you fighting. Do you want me to help?” I nod, and Sean smiles again. “Okay, close your eyes, Princess.” I do as he asks without question. He keeps holding my face with one hand and lifts my hand with his other. Once he has hold of my wrist, he lets go of my face, ensuring that he always touching me so I know he’s there even when I can't see him.
“Good girl, Princess, keep trying to breathe.” He repositions my hand so it's up as if to high-five someone, and I spread my fingers out. “Do you remember what to do?” he asks gently as I feel him running his finger up and down mine. He used this technique one night when I woke from a nightmare after they rescued me. “Breathe in as my finger goes up and out when it travels down.” Starting on my wrist, he traces the outline of my thumb as I try to breathe. Once at the top of my thumb, his finger slides down to the skin between my fingers, and I attempt to breathe out. He repeats this until he gets to my wrist on the other side and then starts making his way back to my thumb, going up and down my fingers. Slowly, I begin to control my breathing a little better and soon, I’m almost breathing normally.
“That’s it, Princess, you’ve got it,” Sean encourages. He continues running his finger up and down mine until I ball my hand into a fist, signalling that I’m okay. Taking one more deep breath, I let it out slowly before finally opening my eyes.
I blink until my eyes adjust to the light in the room, and I can see better; I lift my head and look at Sean, who is kneeling on the floor before me. I have no idea when I went from standing to sitting. Sean holds my water out, and I take a small sip.
“That’s it, Princess, take another sip for me.” I do as I’m told as Sean runs a hand over my head. I want to thank him for helping me through the panic attack. I want to tell him I love him and am so grateful for him knowing exactly what I need when I need it. But I can’t. There’s only one thing I want to say right now. Only one word matters.
With unsteady legs, I climb to my feet. Sean tries to help me, but I shake my head at him before standing tall. Looking to the other end of the room, I see the other three watching us, all looking terrified and at a loss for what to do. Right now, I don’t care how they feel; for once, what I think is the priority, and I will make myself heard.
I walk to Christian standing behind his brothers, for once not leading them like he always has. Jason and Maximus both part as I reach them, giving me access to Christian. I stop in front of him and can see the shame and loss of pride on his face. I’m furious.
The sound of flesh hitting flesh sounds out in the silence of the room, shocking me when I feel the pain in my palm. Christian stands with his hand over his cheek, his eyes wide with shock. I step forward to close the distance between us as Jason and Maximus step closer.
“No.” I shake my head as I glare at him.
“I’m sorry,” Christian whispers but stops when I shake my head.
“I don’t want to hear it,” I say louder than I expected. “I don’t want to hear you’ve been protecting us, how you don’t want us worrying. Because I, for one, am sick of it.” The venom in my voice spills from my mouth like acid, words burning their way out of me. “Did you really think we would let anything happen to you? Do you believe that you are on your own in this world? Because you're not.” I step back and try to ignore how my head is pounding in time to my heart.
“You are part of the glue that holds this family together, but you are not all of it. We all work together to keep this family what it is, and the rest of us deserve to know when one of us is in danger. How can we protect you when you don’t tell us you need protecting?”
“I don’t need protecting I have-”
“The only thing you have is a stubborn streak that’s going to kill you, literally,” Jason yells beside me before storming away.
“Who took out the hit?” Sean asks, placing a hand on the bottom of my back. I hadn’t realised how much I needed that slight touch until that moment. He always knows what I need and never fails to provide it.
“I don’t know for sure, but I know it's for me alone. No one else's name is on it nor is there another.” Christian looks down at the floor and sighs. “They want me and only me.”
“Well, they can’t fucking have you,” I snap, crossing my arms over my chest. “If they think they can take you from me, they can think again.” Taking a step forward, I look up to Christian and he has no choice but to tip his head to look down at me. “You promised me a lifetime. How can you fulfil that promise if you are not here?” Christian’s eyes stay on mine, even though he has no idea what to say.
“Does Terry know?” Jason asks behind me. Christian nods but doesn’t take his eyes off me when I step back.
“The whole security team does, it’s why Layton’s been so on edge recently,” I point out, shaking my head, wondering why I didn’t think of this sooner. It was bound to happen one day; someone would put a price on one of my men’s heads. But they can take it off because my man is going nowhere.
Jason and Christian stare at each other. For a moment, I can’t work out whether Jason wants to deck him or hug him. I know exactly how he feels.
“How long have you known?” Maximus asks.
“Four weeks. Someone tried to set a booby trap in a property I was going to see. Terry realised before we set it off.” My chest threatens to tighten again as I realise we have already come close to losing him. “He did some digging and found the contract. He wanted to tell you all, but I told him no. I don’t want you guys trying to get involved.” Christian looks to each of us before continuing. “I won’t risk your names being added to the contract.” Maximus and Sean walk away, their heads in their hands, as Jason stares at his brother. “When I left the other day before Jasmine's therapy session, I had word that someone knew who had taken out the hit, and I went to confront them. I ended the threat. Or I thought I had.”
“Last night?” Jason asks as I frown.
“Could have been arranged as a way to take me out. I don’t know. But from all we learnt from what the arseholes who stormed the place said, I have a better idea of who set it up.”
“Who?” I ask, keeping my arms crossed over my chest, and I tighten my hold, keeping my anxiety from taking over again.
“Mitchell,” Sean says behind me as Christian nods.
“What the fuck did you do to piss him off?” Jason asks.
“I killed Flint, remember? They were lovers; it all came out after Flint was dead.”
“How did they find out you killed him?” I ask. “Surely no one goes around boasting about who they killed,” I remember how lost and broken he had looked after that. I had washed him in the shower and held him as he recovered. People may think he is a heartless bastard; it’s a reputation he has worked hard to achieve. But so much of it is a show that sometimes I think even he forgets where Christian, the loving, protective man finishes, and the highly feared man, starts.
“They don’t,” Jason sighs. “But there will always be speculation. There will be someone somewhere that knows Flint was pissed with Christian and planned on having it out with him.” The room falls into silence as we all try to take in the fact that there is a hit contract for one of us.
“So, what do we do?” I ask, chewing on my nail. I feel all four men look at me.
“ We? Shorty, you’re not getting involved. I’m shipping your ass off to a safe house or at least your little friend’s where the Donavons can keep you safe,” Maximus declares next to me. My head whips to the side so fast I’m surprised I don’t end up with whiplash.
“I would like to see you try!” I snap back.
“Watch me,” he growls, stepping closer so I have no choice but to look up at him. I know he means to intimidate me, but I stand firm.
“I’m not hiding when one of my men is in danger.”
“If one of us is in danger, we all are,” Sean says behind me. “We stay together; we are stronger that way.”
“Sean’s right,” Jason adds from where he is standing. “If we send Jazzy away, we will be so busy worrying about her that we could miss a real threat.”
“I’ll go.”
We all turn to see Christian rubbing the back of his head.
“The hell you will,” I snap. Christian frowns at me momentarily, but I close the distance between us again. “You are not leaving, not happening. You can forget it.” He looks down at me, and I see the pleading in his eyes. “Are you sure it’s this Mitchell who took out the hit?” I ask, looking at Christian.
“About eighty percent. One of the guys who crashed last night mentioned him and the hit. But then he realised what he had done and did everything he could to get out of saying more.”
“Where is he now?”
Christian looks at me and shakes his head.
“Dead, so there is no way to know for sure. He was killed before I could find him again and question him.” I don’t miss the way Christian glances at Maximus quickly. Neither does Maximus.
“The guy who I -?” He doesn’t need to finish the sentence; I can see what he did written on his face. “Shit!”
“So, what happens if you take this Mitchell out? Will the hit be cancelled?” All four heads snap in my direction. “What? I’m new to this; I don’t know how they work,” I point out, shrugging.
“I don’t know how I feel about your talking about taking someone out,” Jason sighs.
“I do, it’s fucking hot,” Maximus grins at me before winking. I roll my eyes at him before looking back to Christian.
“Well?” I ask, waiting for someone to answer.
“We would have to be sure it really was him who took it out,” Christian sighs before walking away from the wall he’s been standing in front of since I came out of my panic attack.
“How could we do that?” I ask, following him as he walks to the sofa and sits down before placing his head in his hands. I sit on the coffee table in front of him and wait for him to answer.
“We could kidnap him?” I suggest when he doesn’t answer.
“Jazzy,” Jason sighs, walking up to stand next to me.
“What? Why couldn’t we?” I ask. “People have no issues kidnapping me!” It’s meant as a joke, but with one look at the guys, I can see it hasn’t been taken as one. “Fine,” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “If you guys have a better idea of keeping my future husband alive, I would greatly appreciate it if you could speak up.”
“You know, it’s not the worst idea.” We all turn to Sean, who shrugs. “It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve kidnapped someone to get answers from them. Even if he didn’t take out the hit, he may know who did.”
I look around and can see each of the others thinking about it.
“The problem with that is that he may have heard about last night and run or hired extra security,” Christian points out.
“You know you still haven’t told me about last night,” I point out.
“Basically, we were having a great time; all hell broke loose when a bunch of twats we didn’t invite turned it into one giant brawl. People were hurt, mainly on their side. We killed a few and beat the rest, making an example of them and what happens if they turn against us or mention you,” Maximus shrugs. I look at him wide-eyed before looking at the others, who just shrug in confirmation.
“And you say I cause all the trouble,” I sigh, shaking my head.
“We just know how to end parties with a bang,” Maximus smirks.
“Yeah, the wrong kind,” I add, rolling my eyes. “I never did get my promised hot night of sex.”
“We will make it up to you,” he replies.
“Can we get back to trying to save Daddy first, please,” I sigh. “Then we can have hot sex to celebrate,” I add in the hope of getting at least a smile out of two of them, but instead, all four have a smirk on their face. I’m taking that as a win.
“Fuck it, I think she’s right, and not just about the sex,” Christian says, sitting back on the sofa. I climb onto his knee needing to remind myself he is still here, and I will make sure he stays here.
“You want to kidnap him?” Sean asks. Christian looks at Jason and shrugs as he wraps his arms around me.
“What do you think?” he asks. Jason seems to think about it for a moment before nodding.
“I think it’s the best option, but we will have to move quickly before he can run,” Jason confirms. The guys all nod and start to move towards the door. Christian taps my hip, encouraging me to move so he can stand up.
“So, when do we leave?” I ask, trying to keep up with them. All four turn around and stare at me with wide eyes and open mouths. I only manage to keep a straight face for about five seconds before I wink at them all, and they visibly relax.
“This is all down to you four; I’m just the brains in this family,” I tease, walking past them, grinning.
“Is it just me, or is she getting scarier by the day?” I hear Jason ask as I walk away. Maximus chuckles, and I listen to his response.
“She is, and it’s sexy as fuck.”