Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
CHRISTIAN
The day is finally here, our wedding day.
The sun shines as the four of us walk out of the house to the large tent. Our wedding suits look great as we walk to the front of the aisle, where the registrar, Lucinda, is waiting for us.
“How are you all feeling?” she asks, smiling at us all.
“I’m ready to get this show on the road,” Maximus laughs. He’s been a ball of energy all morning. I had hoped the two bourbons we shared in the sitting room would calm him down, but I think it’s made him worse.
“I promise this will feel like it's over in a heartbeat, and you will wish it could have been dragged out a little longer,” Lucinda giggles. I don’t miss how her eyes linger on Jason a little longer than the rest of us. Sean and I share a look, and I know he’s noticed it as well.
“So, you all remember the plan? Christian,” she turns her attention to me and smiles. “You will be at the front when Jasmine arrives, and we will begin the legal wedding ceremony.” She glances down at her notes, obviously checking everything. “You and Jasmine have chosen the traditional vows for the marriage, which I will prompt you through. And we will have you both sign the marriage register.” She looks up, still smiling. “Will you want pictures of just the two of you before going to the next bit?”
“No, we will each have individual ones done after the blessing,” I answer.
“And you have here that Verity Stevenson and Terry Peters are signing the register as witnesses. Is that still correct with the smaller wedding?”
“Yes, nothing with the ceremonies has changed except the missing one hundred-odd guests.” What the hell had we been thinking, inviting all those people? This is what we wanted, small and intimate.
“Great, so as soon as the register is signed and I pronounce you husband and wife, the rest of you will stand from your seats and step forward.”
“They will already be standing. They are all my best men; they were always going to be beside me when I got married, whether it was to our girl or not.” I give them all a smile as Jason places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze.
“You’ve had our backs long enough; it’s time we had yours for a change.”
“It’s obvious you are all close, and not just because you all love the same girl,” Lucinda smiles before sniffing and looking back to the notes. “So as soon as you are all in front of me, I will say a few words about the five of you being here to have your relationship blessed in the eyes of those you hold dear, then …” she runs a finger down the page. “Ah, yes. You will all say a few words, as there are no traditional vows. Sean, you will go first, followed by Maximus, Jason and then Christian.” She looks up at us again. I can't help wondering if her face hurts from smiling so much. “Jaz is then going to say a few words before the maid of honour does a short reading. Then you are all free to enjoy the rest of your day. Are there any questions?” We shake our heads, looking around at each other, smiling as we relax and let ourselves enjoy the moment we’ve waited so long for.
Lucinda looks up to the front of the tent, where I spot Mrs Brown smiling; she gives us a little thumbs up before waving towards the house and rushing to her seat. Music starts in the background, coming from somewhere, and I take my place at the front of the aisle.
I don’t remember the last time I felt so sick from excitement and nerves. I know if I held my hand out in front of me it would be shaking like a leaf in the breeze. I look to my right at my three brothers, who all look as I feel. The four of us don’t look away from each other until Lucinda clears her throat. We all turn together to watch as little Luna comes into view with a big smile, looking beautiful, followed by the three bridesmaids. All of them look amazing as they smile and wipe at their eyes. I can't help but give the three of them a wink as I smile, but then the music changes and we all turn further around as the love of our life comes into view at the top of the aisle.
There she is, our world, our Jasmine, walking towards us in the most beautiful white dress and looking like an angel. No, an honest-to-god goddess. Any other word is an insult. Everyone ceases to exist; all I can see is my Baby girl. Her smile lights up her whole face as she walks gracefully towards us. I hold out my hand for hers, desperate to touch any part of her, feeling the happiest I ever had. But as she reached out and placed her hand in mine, somebody else's hand appears and stops her from touching me.
“Terry?” Turning my attention to my friend, sure, he must be trying to wind me up. But when I look at his face, I see it’s not Terry but Connor Grant, Jasmine's father.
For a brief second, he looks like the smiling, happy version of the man in the pictures Jasmine has in her room, but his face quickly morphs into the version which I saw before I put a bullet through his brain.
He looks at me with the eyes I now realise his daughter inherited from him; they don’t look scared or even reassuring like they did that night all those years ago. No, he looks at me the same way he looked at Tommy and Hardy, with pure hatred.
“Did you really think I would let this happen?” His lip turns up in disgust as I stare at him open-mouthed. “Did you really think I would allow you to marry my daughter? You, the man who killed me!”
“I didn’t want to do it,” I sputter, but Connor just shakes his head at me.
“And that makes everything okay? Everything that happened to my little girl was your fault.” He lets go of Jasmine's hand and takes a step towards me.
“All the years of her mother abusing her.”
He steps forward again as I step back from him. His eyes burning into mine as I’m unable to look away.
“All those men that went into her room. Each of them touching her, inserting themselves into her tiny body. It’s all because of you.”
Every step he takes towards me, I try to keep the distance between us, but he doesn’t stop advancing.
“Every scream, tear, and ounce of pain is your doing.”
My back hits the side of the tent, which has morphed into a brick wall, stopping me from putting any more distance between us.
“You took her one protector away, giving her mother all the freedom she needed to abuse my baby girl. So, give me one reason why I should let you marry her.”
“I love her; she is everything to me.” Tears fill my eyes, and I look over his shoulder and see her standing there surrounded by a bright light, which makes her look even more like a goddess. “You know I never wanted to kill you, but I had no choice. But there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her.”
“Prove it.” The venom in his voice has my attention snapping back to him.
“Wh _ what?” I ask, stumbling over the single word, which is lodged in my throat, threatening to choke me through the fear. It’s the same two words Hardy said after he asked me what I was willing to do to protect my brother.
Connor’s head tilts to the side as he grins at me, looking more evil than I ever thought he could.
“Prove it.” It’s Connor in front of me, but all I can hear is Hardy, the humour and demand in his tone.
“Ask anything of me, and I will do it,” my whole body starts to shake as I look back at my sweet girl. I know the answer before I once again hear Hardy's voice coming from Connor's mouth.
“Choose.”
Closing my eyes, I know what I’ll see when I open them, but even knowing doesn’t save me from the pain of what's in front of me.
Where my three brothers had been stood watching only moments ago, I find them now on their knees, hands tied behind their backs, all shaking and crying quietly. Behind each of them are people I never wanted to see again, each holding a gun to my brothers’ heads.
Standing behind Jason is Hardy, grinning like he did that night he held a gun to his head when I was fifteen.
“What’s it going to be, Christian? Time’s ticking,” he smirks, placing a hand on Jason's shoulder, holding him in place.
“He won't choose; he’s not got the balls,” Hudson laughs from behind Sean. He pulls a knife from his pocket and holds it to Sean's neck. “I wonder if he will bleed like she did.” Sliding the knife around the side of Sean's neck, Hudson grins. “I love the way she screamed and bled for me. He lifts his hand, suddenly knifeless, as I see blood on his fingers. There's so much of it, and I know it's hers. He lifts his fingers to his lips and licks the blood from them, grinning at me the whole time. “Does she always taste so sweet?”
I go to jump forward, needing to kill him, when Connor places a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
“Choose.”
The word is barely a whisper, but as it leaves his mouth, I hear another voice that causes every muscle in my body to tighten as my blood runs cold.
“He’s too weak to have any real balls. His Mama made him that way.” I turn to Tommy’s voice as he stands over Maximus. He leans forward so he can talk straight into Maximus’s ear. “You want to be like him? Do you really think your big brother can teach and prepare you for life? You are even weaker than he is.”
“Who’s it going to be, Christian?” Again, Connor's lips move, but it's Hardy I hear. “Who lives and who dies?”
Looking at each of my brothers, my eyes burn from the tears; I’m shaking now for a completely different reason. The excitement and joy have evaporated; all that’s left is fear and despair.
“I can't,” my fifteen-year-old voice whispers. Every second of that night flashes through my mind. None of us are in the tent anymore. We are all in that warehouse where it all began.
“This is the easy bit; you simply decide who lives and who dies,” Connor points out as a sick laugh fills the air and my stomach drops. He takes my hand and places my gun into it. It feels heavier than ever, and I want to drop it as it shakes with my hands.
“Please! He thinks he’s all that, but he’s worthless.” I turn to her voice as my heart crumbles. Carol stands behind Jasmine, who is kneeling with her hands behind her head, her mother holding a gun to it. “You left her to kill her own mother; that’s how weak you are, O’Reilly.”
“Daddy,” the word on Jasmine's lips brings me to my knees as I stare at the four people I love more than anything in this world, all surrounded by people from our past once again, threatening to take them from me.
“Time’s almost up, Christian. Who do you choose?” Hardy squats down at me as he did that night. He pushes a gun into my hand and grins. “Only one can live, so who will it be? Your brothers? Or the daughter of the man you killed?”
I look back up towards Jasmine, whose father is now standing beside her, his arms crossed over his chest as he glares at me.
“Save her, Christian!” I turn to Maximus to find him staring at me. “You always make out you love her more than anything; prove it! You think you love her more than the rest of us do, so prove it!”
“I don’t love her more; we all love her the same!” I argue back.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” he yells. “You’ve had no problem defending the way you control us and our relationships with her. So why argue that now? Save her!”
His words hit me like a blow to the chest, and it hurt so bad I check I haven’t been shot.
“I’m sorry.” I look at all three of my brothers, each with a ghost of our pasts behind them.
“We know. It’s okay, Christian.” I look at Sean as he gives me one of his reassuring smiles. “Save her for us.”
“Give Jazzy the best life,” Jason adds, giving me a small nod. “Save her.”
“No.”
All our heads snap to Jasmine as she looks at me, smiling even as Carol pokes her with the gun. “No, Daddy. Save them; you need them more than me,” a single tear slides down her cheek as she tries to reassure me. “Save them, Daddy.”
“I can’t lose you,” I cry, staring at my poor girl as she tries to protect me as she always does. I turn to my brothers to find them all watching me. “Any of you. I’ve failed.”
Taking a deep breath, I lift the gun and place it against my temple. I won’t kill them; I won't let any of them suffer, not when there is a simple answer. Everything that has gone wrong in their lives is because of one person. Me.
“I’ve failed you, and I’m sorry.” Closing my eyes, not wanting to cause them any more pain. Seeing a person's soul leave their body through their eyes is always the worst part; I won’t let them see it with me. I take a deep breath, thinking of the four people in front of me as I try to pull the trigger, but a warm hand touches my face as the gun is forced away from my head. Startled, I open my eyes wide to see the eyes I never thought I would see again.
“Ma?”
“My sweet boy,” my mum smiles, and my heart stops. “My poor, sweet Blackbird.”
I’m frozen as she leans in and kisses the top of my head, as she always would when she found me upset or hurting from something Tommy had put me through.
“I’m sorry, Ma.” The tears flow easily now as I look into her sweet, bright eyes. “I failed you.”
“No, you didn’t. You could never fail me.” Lifting her other hand, she cups my face whilst wiping away my tears with her thumb. “You broke your own wings so your brothers could fly. I am so unbelievably proud of you. You have done so much for them, but now it's your turn to be happy.” She leans forward to kiss the top of my head again.
“Now, mend your broken wings and learn to fly.”