Chapter 7
Matt
O h, thank fuck. Whoo, shit. Little legs of relief skittered up and down my spine. Getting Lily to kick her mother out wasn't my intention, but I couldn't say it didn't feel good as hell.
That woman's eyes. I think I preferred it when they were lifeless. As terrifying as she was to look at, it was nothing compared to the terror of her looking into my eyes and seeing deep within my soul. There was no way she knew what happened, yet... how else could I explain it, other than, she KNEW.
I swear my heart thudded when she turned her accusation on us. I don't know how I managed to keep it together in front of Lily. I'm not sure how much longer I can bear to be in her presence before the truth begins to seep through the cracks and Lily's able to see it as well.
Glad Ethan and Eric showed up to help Lily finish the packing and withstand some of the heat, themselves, I removed myself. I had to get as far away as possible. Through the woods of this islet wasn't far enough. It was quiet though, except for a few birds. And the enormous trees, so close together, secluded me, as if they'd agreed to keep my terrible secrets. It's funny that I was finding solace in a place so similar to the murder scene. I'll admit I didn't think about that when I started to walk. I needed to put some distance between me, the main house, the damned guest house, Lily, Mrs. Thornbread, the truth on the tip of my tongue, and the guilt that prompted me to spill it.
I'd stepped through our gate that brought Lily so much joy when she first saw it, with all our initials on it, and I fought the urge to rip the giant metal weight off its hinges. That's what Lily will do when she finds out we're lying to her. She might not burn this house down, but the home I've found in her will be reduced to rubble.
I rubbed my chest, where my anchor tattoo sat. It was supposed to bring me peace, balance out all the shit that stormed through me. It had brought me a lot of that stability in the past, when I started backpacking and never looked back. No matter where I was in the world or how much trouble I was in, I'd grip my anchor necklace and later, tattoo, to remind myself that there's no storm too big and scary for me to handle. I feared this one was.
Maybe that's why being in the forest was bringing me some level of peace this time around. We both shared secrets and there was some kinship within the roots and limbs.
My phone rang and I looked at the screen. It was Lily. I couldn't be her support right now. I couldn't look her in the eyes and let her lean on me, knowing what I knew. I couldn't call her mother delusional and crazy without heartburn tearing up the inside of my chest. Hell, I couldn't even be there for Ryan. I didn't know where the hell he was.
Right now, I needed someone to be there for me. And I so badly wished this was something I could pull out my camera to vlog about. Ha! Land my ass straight into the prison cell where I deserved to be. Where those two men should be, facing the consequences of their crimes. I had money. I could've paid the best lawyers to make sure that they never walked free again. I fucked up.
In the embrace of the forest, I let my tears run free, knowing the woodlands wouldn't judge me. They'd participated in worse. Unfortunately, I was in good company.
Lily
I could use the support of all my men as my mother got ready to walk out of my life and turn her back on me in stubborn support of the man who never loved me, never loved her, and almost got me killed. But I couldn't blame Matt for needing space and hell knew where Ryan was.
Eric shouldered one of her bags and Ethan grabbed two suitcases and followed the nurse who was also carrying bags, out the door.
"Hold on. Where are you going with my stuff?" my mother shouted from her wheelchair.
She'd worn herself out from all her unnecessary accusations and drama. It was safer for her to be wheeled out to the car and surprisingly, she agreed which must have meant she wasn't feeling so great. Considering that she had refused to eat anything, it made sense. She was strong enough to slap food away from her mouth now, that was for damn sure.
Pausing with the box of photos in my arms, I searched her eyes. "You're leaving, remember?"
"Of course I remember." She hissed. "I'm not daft. All I have is my damn fucking memory. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to them!" She gestured toward Ethan and Eric.
I rolled my eyes. "They're carrying your stuff to the car. Don't be so dramatic."
"I don't want them touching my stuff," she grumbled.
Eric strolled back in, the sun was against his back and he smiled at me. My heart flipped with gratitude for his patience. He shouldn't have had to put up with this and I could see in the darkness of his eyes directed at my mother, that it was weighing on him. Yet, he kept it together. He was better than me and Ryan. Him, Matt and Ethan.
"Ready to go, Mrs. Thornbread?" He even smiled at her as Ethan walked past him to pick up the remaining luggage.
"Go where? With who?" my mother gasped.
I furrowed my brows. When we all stopped to look at her, concern lining our faces, she sucked her teeth.
"Can you all stop looking at me like that? Memory is still intact." She knocked on the side of her head, and I imagined it echoed.
Stop, Lily. I reprimanded myself.
"Oh." Eric cleared his throat, and Ethan's shoulders dropped. "We'll be driving you home."
"Oh no, you won't! So you can kill me on the way? Silence me?!" my mother shouted.
I swore beneath my breath. "Not this again. Mom! Do you want to leave or not? Durham is three hours away, so you've got to make up your mind."
"Why can't the nurse carry me?" She glared in my direction.
"She doesn't have great eyesight..." Ethan began.
"I'm not talking to you!" she yelled at him.
"Well, he's right, Mom. What do you want to do? Walk there?" I asked.
"Don't be funny with me, girl! I'll take a taxi. I don't want them anywhere near me! Because as soon as I step foot in Durham, I'm going straight to the police with what I know!" she yelled.
"And what do you know?" Eric folded his arms and pressed his lips together, his cheeks reddening, his eyes popping.
Ethan stepped up. "What are you going to do? Throw false accusations at us? Frame us? That's illegal."
"You can't do that, Mom!" I gasped. "They're good men. You know that. Better men have gone to prison because of false accusations. Please tell me you're not serious about this."
"They wouldn't be false accusations! I'd gather up evidence. Prove what I know." She doubled down.
Damn, even I started doubting myself. Did she know something I didn't know? I repeated Eric's question. "And what's that?"
Both he and Ethan balked at me, and the hurt in their eyes made me regret saying anything.
"I have a gut feeling. And my gut is never wrong." My mother narrowed her eyes.
"That's all you have? A gut feeling? Great. Well, don't worry guys. The cops will laugh her out of the station just like they did to you when you went to report my kidnapping, by the man who was supposed to be MY FATHER." I yelled, glaring back at her.
Her washed-out cheeks gained color at that, and it at least silenced her.