Chapter 16 Zack #2
“I own the building, it has a twenty-four hour security team and a top of the range security system, who else would it be?” I grunt back, pushing past him and entering his apartment.
“Yeah well, we both know those things don’t always stop someone from getting in,” he grunts at my back, and I grimace slightly, the scar on my shoulder suddenly burning with memory. “What’s up?” he asks, before I can respond, and I turn to find him looking at me in question.
“Lily was at High Nine’s tonight,” I start, expecting him to be as shocked as I was, but he only shrugs.
“Yeah, Dr. Hollis finally got her to agree to try some meds, and they’re really helping her,” he shrugs, moving back toward his sofa where I can see he was in the middle of reading a book.
“She’s been getting herself out somewhere at least once a day, and she mentioned something about going to dinner.
” He still seems perfectly relaxed about the whole situation as he takes a seat, and I have no choice but to follow, throwing myself down next to him.
When I still don’t respond, he looks at me and arches an eyebrow.
“Did you fuck her in the bathroom or something?” he questions, as if the idea of us doing just that isn’t totally abhorrent.
Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
“She was there with Joey Grant.” The words are gritted through my teeth, but all he does is cock his head to the side in confusion.
“The senator's son?” he asks in confirmation, and I nod firmly. “Huh, I didn’t know they still talked to one another.”
“They don’t,” I snap far too quickly, and this time his stare takes on an amused edge.
“And why do you care so much?” I can practically see the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, my eyes locked on the slight movement, with a new kind of feeling taking hold inside my chest.
I can’t tell him the real reason, I can’t even admit it to myself, so instead I take the easy route. “Because he’s a cocky prick with too much money,” I grunt, hoping he will be on my side, but apparently my best friend is a dick.
“So are you,” he tosses back, still not caring for my outrage, and all I can do is scoff. “Are you guys still not talking?” I know he isn’t talking about fucking Joey anymore, and I grind my jaw.
He told me to make things right with her, and I haven’t.
“We’re fine,” I lie, and the fucker lets his smirk come out in full force now.
“Really? So you two have talked about the fact you fucked? Tell me, are you going for a repeat performance, or sweeping it under the rug like it never happened?” His response only pisses me off more, the rage I have been trying to keep a handle on all night bubbling to the surface.
“It shouldn’t have happened and it should be swept under the fucking rug!” I know he hears the anger in my tone, the regret, but a part of me thinks he can hear the other part too.
The denial, the longing, the downright need.
“You can say it as many times as you want, Zack, it won’t make it true.”
I’m already shaking my head. “Will you fucking stop doing that! Stop acting like this is okay, that what we did is normal, you should be fucking outraged.” My entire body is shaking now, disgust and lust going to war inside of me, until I feel the heavy weight of Max’s palm across my thigh.
“This is okay, Zack, we can’t help who we are attracted to,” he whispers, his voice pulling my eyes back to his.
As soon as our stares collide I feel something unfamiliar in the center of my chest. It’s both sharp and insistent as we watch one another. It’s the same feeling I got when he had me pinned to the wall at the house last week, and before it can take shape, I shove away from him roughly.
“Just keep that fucking King away from her,” I snarl, before turning on my heel and storming out.
I’m already locked in on my next destination before I can talk myself out of it.
I know it’s a bad idea, that it’s late, and her apartment is the absolute last place I should be, especially after dark, but for some reason I can’t stop myself.
For some reason there is a pull in the pit of my chest, dragging me toward her.
When I reach her door, I don’t hesitate in using my key to let myself in, surprised to find all the lights muted and Lily nowhere to be found.
Shutting the door silently behind me, I make my way through the dark apartment toward her bedroom.
Once inside I find her curled up in the middle of her bed, lying on her side and sleeping softly.
I’m not sure what I expected in coming here, but it wasn’t this.
Her apartment is clean from what I saw, there is no laundry spilling out of the hamper, or empty liquor bottles lining the surfaces.
In fact, it looks how it always used to, tidy and organized.
I note the med bottles on her nightstand, quietly walking over to inspect them, before putting them back in place and letting my eyes trail over her.
Gone is the woman I saw outside the restaurant earlier, the makeup wiped away, the hair up in a messy pile on top of her head, and the dress swapped out for a silk set of PJs.
She looks how she used to, relaxed, content, I’d say happy even, if I didn’t know any better, but hell, after the last year, I’ll take sleeping and sober as a win.
Unable to stop myself, I run the pads of my finger gently down her face, trying not to enjoy how she reacts to my touch, even in her slumber.
I shouldn’t like it, I shouldn’t even be touching her, not when it’s now tainted with a new meaning.
I fucked her, here in this very bed. I buried myself deep inside of her, and instead of that turning my stomach, it has my cock hardening inside my pants.
Fuck.
I’m in too deep, and I have no idea how to swim back to the surface, but what’s worse, I’m not even sure that I want to.