Chapter 22 Lily
LILY
It’s been two weeks since my brother kissed my boyfriend, and they haven’t spoken since.
Max told me everything that transpired between them the day after it happened, and though I can’t say I wasn’t surprised, I’m still mad at Zack for acting this way.
I know it’s just his way, that when anything goes wrong he likes to absorb it, internalize it, and shield anyone else from experiencing it, but this is not something he can handle that way.
This isn’t like what happened to Elle, or like when Logan died, it has to be solved with feelings not action.
This problem won’t go away, not without us dealing with it together, no matter what that looks like.
Max has tried to play his absence off, but I know it’s hurt him.
Aside from what he feels for him, Zack is still his best friend.
Although somehow, what happened made us closer, it made us realize that we have already lost so much time, and I know that’s my fault, but following his confession I decided to put all my cards on the table.
I told him I was broken, that I don’t see myself ever being whole again, that a part of my shattered heart would always belong to Zack, but all that aside that I was pretty sure I was in love with him.
That particular rant resulted in him dragging me to bed and keeping me there for three hours until, and I quote, ‘the words pretty sure were no longer part of my vocabulary’.
Since then things have been great between us, just like they were before, except better if that’s even possible.
He’s still here every morning, but that’s pretty much because he falls asleep in my bed every night.
He only leaves to go to work and he checks in even more than before, like me returning to the land of the living is something he can’t ever let go of.
So for him I get out of bed, for him I eat all the food he makes me, and for him I go to all my extra sessions with my therapist, and keep taking my new meds.
I know my life will never be the same, not without my twin, but I also know I can’t keep throwing it away when I still have the chance to live.
It’s why, when we pull up to my parents’ house in the Hamptons, I don’t feel as nervous as I should.
We’re here to spend the week with everyone, to celebrate Kennedy’s arrival, but I’m sure Max and I will have shifted the focus a little since we decided to tell everyone we are now a couple.
We stopped by the house a few times together to see the baby, and with Max by my side every single time, we decided it was best to tell everyone we were together.
I’m sure word of our announcement got back to Zack, and if he weren’t already avoiding us, he would have started then, but Max and I have agreed to just wait him out.
I’m sure he will come around eventually.
Except eventually seems to have to happen right now, because before Max can even grab our bags from the trunk, Zack’s car is pulling in beside us.
I inhale deeply, offering Max a grim smile, as I turn my focus to my brother, readying myself for whatever he is about to say as his car door opens, but then the passenger side door opens too.
My brain short-circuits at the sight, not fully processing what I’m seeing as my gaze shifts between my brother and his ex-girlfriend.
Rosie is here.
“Ah, if it isn’t the happy couple,” Zack greets us, somehow making it sound like an insult, and I note the way Rosie frowns at his tone as she looks between us all.
“I guess I should return the sentiment,” Max sneers in response, glaring at Rosie like her presence personally offends him, and I can’t say I blame him.
“You brought Rosie,” is all I can think to say, as I stare at the two of them, and I can’t hide the hurt in my own tone.
I know he hears it, because he flinches slightly, finally meeting my gaze, and I watch as his eyes trail over me. “Yeah, looks like we both brought a date, kid,” he replies flatly, and I hope that nickname tastes like ash on his tongue, as it burns my skin.
I’m not sure what possesses me to take the bait, but before Max can step in, I find myself replying, “Probably a good idea, the last girl you fucked a few weeks ago was a crazy choice.” I ensure I smile sweetly as I say it, offering Rosie mock sympathy, before I turn toward Max to find him biting back a grin.
“Put your bags in my room, my parents won’t mind now that they know we’re together.
” Then I make my way toward the house without looking back, because if this is the game Zack wants to play, then he needs to remember he taught me everything he knows.
When I push inside the house I instantly bump into my parents, both of them smiling widely at my presence, as if they didn’t believe I would actually come.
“Lily, you’re here!” My mom beams, pulling me in for a hug, and I try to force the tension from my body as I hug her back.
“You look,” she pauses as she pulls back, no doubt trying to think of a suitable word.
“Better,” she settles on, with a soft smile, and I nod.
“Yeah, the meds are helping everything seem less heavy,” I shrug, and I can almost feel her relief from here.
I hate myself for what I have put them through, especially considering what they were already dealing with, but when her focus turns to Max with a bright smile, I know things are looking up.
“Max, you look like you’re trying to impress me,” she accuses with a knowing smile, and Max only laughs, as he accepts her hug.
“Please, we both know you love me,” he teases, before pulling back and shaking my dad’s hand, after I have hugged him too.
“Did you drive in with Zack?” My dad asks, and I’m already shaking my head.
“No, we didn’t, but he just got here,” Max tells him, cutting me a concerned look.
“He brought Rosie with him,” I add, hating the way my mom’s face lights up at the mention of my brother’s ex-girlfriend.
“Oh that’s wonderful, both of my babies are trying to be happy.” Tears gather in her eyes and I refrain from rolling mine, as she pushes past us and out the door.
“So the golddigger is back,” my father grunts, making me smile, and I huff a laugh as I nod. “And here I thought he was finally pulling his head out of his ass,” he adds, flicking his gaze between Max and me, before he sighs and follows after my mom.
Thankfully I don’t see anyone else on the way to my room, and by the time I make it there, I feel like I’m ready to break. I’m mildly aware of Max following me, but I ignore him as he pushes into my room, locks the door, and dumps our bags on the floor.
“Can you believe him?” I start, pacing back and forth, remembering what just happened, still trying to process it.
“Why the hell would he bring her here? Do you think they are back together?” My heart is racing, a side effect of the new meds, or at least that’s what I tell myself.
It’s not because I just saw Zack for the first time in weeks, or because he is apparently moving on with his ex.
My hand presses hard to the center of my chest as I will it to relax.
“They have to be, right? Why else would she be here?” I can’t stop the questions spilling from my mouth, too pissed off to care how jealous I sound, but when I turn my focus to Max, he is just watching me with a smile.
“You’re hot when you’re mad,” he purrs, erasing the distance between us and gripping my chin so he can assault me with a passionate kiss.
At first I think he is trying to distract me, but then his mouth starts to trail kisses down my jaw as he grunts against my skin.
“He’s doing what he always does, trying to control something that’s out of his hands.
” His breath is hot against my throat. “He’s scared of you.
” Kiss. “Of me.” Kiss. “Of us.” Kiss. “And instead of dealing with it head on, he’s acting like a little bitch instead. ”
My moan turns into a laugh, as his mouth continues to work me, so much so that I barely notice him pulling us to the bed, until he is dropping down on the end of it and guiding me on top of him.
Now I definitely know he is using sex as a tool to distract me and worse, it’s actually working.
I know he’s probably as pissed as I am after what we just saw, so maybe he needs this too.
“You think he still wants her when he’s had this?” he asks, dragging my dress up slowly by the hem until he can lift it over my head, revealing my lilac lace underwear set. “Trust me, princess, I know what it’s like to experience paradise, there is no going back after that.”
Like always his words seep into my skin, making me feel confident and sexy in a way I never have before. “Oh yeah? So you’re not still thinking about fucking my brother now that you’ve got me?” I taunt, and he groans deeply, telling me just how deep we both are in this obsession.
“Fuck yes, talk dirty to me,” he growls, yanking down the cups of my bra until my tits are spilling over the top. His tongue circles my nipple slowly, torturously, as my back arches into his touch, until he can’t take anymore and reaches around to rip the fabric off my body.
“You think about having us both?” I ask, barely above a whisper. “About fucking me and him?” It’s a sinful thought that has plagued my mind, but I know he won’t judge me.
“I think about it all the time,” he groans, rocking up into me until I can feel the steel length of him between my thighs.
“I think about me fucking you here,” he murmurs against my nipple, reaching one of his hands down to my pussy.
“And him fucking you here.” His other hand reaches around and grips my ass roughly, pulling me harder against him.
“I think about what it would feel like to have both of us inside of you, fucking you, ruining you for anyone else.”
I’m gasping against him now, ready to come from his mouth alone, but he just keeps going.