Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“TAKE ALL MY LOVE” BY REED WONDER
THORN
Iwatch Luna as she fitfully sleeps after a cruel day of treatment. I wasn’t lying earlier, not only was it intense, it was fucking brutal, and she was so brave, our Little Moonbeam trying to keep a smile on her face even when every pump of the drugs into her veins made her flinch.
She’s now just hooked up to her overnight fluids, thank fuck, and I watch her, the gleam of moonlight playing over her beautiful body, which shivers underneath the covers.
Earlier, while she was resting, we came up with a rotation system, so Blade and Chase are currently sleeping, Blade still in the armchair, his large arms crossed on his chest, a scowl on his face even as he sleeps.
Chase is on the pull-out bed after a day of working on his laptop, all of which was on Luna’s care and her future treatments.
His focused attention is all on her, and I bet she’s not even aware of how much time he’s spent on organizing everything.
It’s his love language, and he doesn’t shout about it, but it’s how he shows he cares.
Luna’s breathing changes, a slight hitch and gag, and my heartbeat thuds inside my chest as I realize she’s going to be sick. I’m up and out of bed, by her side in moments, gently shaking her awake.
“Moonbeam, let’s get you to the bathroom,” I say softly, her eyes fluttering open as her stomach heaves slightly.
The look she gives me breaks my heart, especially as her cheeks flush when I help her out of bed and quickly walk her to the en-suite. She immediately falls to her knees, throwing up in the toilet as I hold her hair, rubbing circles on her back.
“Oh god,” she rasps, spitting into the toilet before flushing it and sitting back on the tiles.
“Here,” Blade says from the doorway, holding out a glass of water, which she takes with red cheeks.
“Thanks,” she mumbles, slowly sipping the water, not meeting either of our eyes.
“Hey, Moonbeam,” I coax, sitting my ass down next to her. She lifts her eyes to me, the skin around them puffy and the whites of them bloodshot. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, pretty stepsis. It’s just vomit.”
Her lips part to clearly say some nonsense, so I dart forward and place a kiss on them before retreating with a grin.
“Thorn!” she scolds, but I just laugh.
“I don’t give a fuck if you just vomited. I’d still stick my tongue down your throat and kiss the hell out of you if I wasn’t worried you might throw up again,” I tell her, my voice matter-of-fact and deadly serious.
She huffs a sigh, then moves to stand up, but I jump to my feet first and help, making sure her IV drip is out of the way. Her lips move and curl, clearly still tasting the vomit in her mouth, so I grab her toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it for her.
Movement by the door catches my eye, Chase waiting just outside, obviously not wanting to intimidate her by coming in as well. We all wait while she brushes her teeth, and I watch the way she catalogues her appearance in the mirror, the skin on her face tightening as her frown grows.
“Don’t do that,” I say, her eyes darting to mine in the mirror.
“Do what?” she replies after spitting and placing the toothbrush back in its holder. She turns to face me, and I hate the defeat I can see in her eyes, making the blue dull and lifeless.
I take a step towards her, so close that the front of our bodies brush and she has to crane her head to look up at me, but I need her to understand what I’m about to say.
“Don’t look at yourself like you’re less than you are, Moonbeam.
” Her jaw feathers as she swallows, her gaze darting down, but I grab her chin and make her look into my eyes.
“You are everything I could have ever wanted, everything I dreamed about, and then even more because I didn’t know someone like you existed, let alone would want me back. ”
“Thorn…” Her voice is a breathy whisper, and this feeling inside my chest leaves me no option but to close the distance between our lips.
She sinks into the kiss, and I try to tell her with my lips and tongue just how fucking lucky I feel at having found her.
At being here with her, helping her, having her in my arms. Her arms come up and she clings to me, her cold hands wrapping around my biceps and clutching me tightly like I’m all that’s keeping her here.
“You’re everything, pretty stepsis. Fucking everything,” I whisper against her lips, pressing our foreheads together as we breathe each other in. “Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’ll try, but I fucking hate this. Hate what it does to me, what it makes me feel, inside and out,” she confesses, and I pull away so that I can look into her eyes. They swim with tears, making the blue sparkle, but I fucking loathe it because she feels so small.
“Next time you look at yourself, I want you to ask yourself, ‘What would Thorn say?’” I instruct her.
“And the answer will be he gets hard just thinking about me, and every time he looks at me, he has to hold himself back from ravishing the fuck out of me because he finds me so irresistible.” She giggles, and it lights me up inside.
“Ravishing the fuck out of me, huh?”
“Every. Fucking. Time,” I tell her, flexing my hips to press my semi against her stomach to prove my point. “See, completely inappropriate to have a semi when you’re in hospital, throwing up your guts, but here we are.”
“Here we are,” she whispers, giving me a smile that feels like it’s just reserved for me.
“Now let’s get you back to bed, though I’ll have to calm down because it’s Blade’s turn with you, and rest is more important than sex right now.”
Placing a soft kiss on her pouting lips—how can she doubt she’s perfect for us when she was clearly made for us?—I step away, guiding her into my brother’s waiting arms. He pulls her close, not saying a word while helping her back to bed with all the protective vibes Blade has aimed at her.
I settle in the armchair that Blade was occupying, Chase getting back into the single after kissing Luna’s temple once she’s back in bed and snuggled into Blade. Closing my eyes, I let the facade slip a little, my fear rearing its ugly head now that she’s not in my arms.
The sound of her retching from moments before brings me back to the time when Mom was ill, and I’d woken up from a bad dream…
Rubbing my eyes, I walk down the hall to my parents’ room, the sound of Mom throwing up so commonplace it hardly fazes me anymore, that’s what I tell myself anyway.
Entering their room, the light is on in the en-suite, and I can just make out Mom’s feet as she’s kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet.
Dad isn’t here; some important business he had to stay in New York overnight for. Even though Mom is ill, really ill, he still wouldn’t stay, and I saw how her lower lip trembled when he told her he’d only be gone a day and night, and that she had us and her nurse if she needed anything.
But the nurse isn’t here overnight, so I walk through their dark room, stopping behind Mom and dropping to my knees, reaching out and rubbing her back.
“Thorn,” she gasps between retching, and I cringe as her voice sounds painful.
“It’s okay, Mom. I’m here, you don’t need to talk,” I tell her, using my other hand to gather up what’s left of her hair and hold it out of the way. It’s like straw, so brittle, and I can see her scalp. She often wears a headscarf, as I think she’s embarrassed that she’s losing her hair.
I wait with her while she continues to throw up, then help her up and grab her a glass of water, waiting with her while she rinses out her mouth. Her hand shakes as she sets the glass down on the side, her thin body hunched over like she doesn’t even have the energy to hold herself up.
“Let’s get you back to bed,” I softly say, and she allows me to put my arm underneath her and walk her back to bed.
“You shouldn’t have to take care of me, baby,” she whispers, her voice thick with tears, and my own eyes prick.
“Well, you took care of me since I was a baby, it’s about time I returned the favor,” I tell her, helping her into bed and then climbing in next to her. “Though I’m not sure how I feel about wiping your ass.”
“Thorn Banks!” she scolds, but her lips are tugged up into a smile even though her eyes are already closed. “I’m so lucky to have you, and Chase and Blade. You are all so precious to me.”
“We’re the lucky ones, Mom,” I reply as her body sinks into the mattress and she falls asleep.
I snuggle next to her, allowing my tears to fall as I hold her to me, praying to anyone who’ll listen that I get to keep her.
Iwake with a start as the door to the room opens and Nurse Patty strolls in.
Blinking in the sunlight that fills the room, I look around and see the others are already awake and dressed, Chase pulling out containers from a bag and setting them on the table.
The smell of breakfast foods and coffee fills the room, my stomach grumbling.
“We didn’t want to wake you,” Luna says from the bed, resting her back against Blade, his arms wrapped around her but still managing to avoid her IV.
“Morning, campers,” Patty greets, and I smirk. She could give me a run for my money when it comes to cheerfulness. “I’m here to draw some blood and check your vitals.”
I get up as she walks over to Luna, and my jaw clenches when Luna’s lower lip disappears under her teeth as Patty prepares the needle.
“What did the toast say to the butter?” I ask, and Luna looks up at me, her brows dipped.
“What?”
I huff a sigh. “What did the toast say to the butter?” I waggle my eyebrows, and her lips twitch as her forehead smooths.
“I don’t know, what did the toast say to the butter?”
“You totally spread me!” I grin, and she shakes her head even as a laugh falls from her lips.
“That was fucking terrible, bro,” Blade tells me, but his lips twitch, so I take that as a win.
“Why did the egg get kicked out of the comedy club?” I keep my gaze locked on Luna’s as Patty inserts the needle. Luna flinches, but she stares back at me, body more relaxed than it was moments before.
“I don’t know, Thorn. Why did the egg get kicked out of the comedy club?”
“Its yolks were too old!”
“Oh my god!” she gasps, but laughs all the same, and Patty gives a chuckle as she removes the blood and then the needle.
“All done,” Patty says, and Luna blinks, which makes me all kinds of warm and fuzzy, because I did that. I helped to distract her. “I’ll be back shortly with the results, but provided all is fine, we can proceed with treatment. Enjoy your breakfast with those eggscruciatingly bad breakfast puns.”
I bark a laugh and hold my hand up as she passes, and she gives me a high five while chuckling as she leaves the room.
“I got Bernard to make and send us breakfast because I know this is the best hospital money can buy, but the food is still hospital food. Let’s eat, then we can help get you ready, okay, Star?
” Chase says, bringing over a plate for Goldie and a plastic cup with that green smoothie she hates but is really good for her.
“Thank you, Chase,” she replies, and he leans down, giving her a slow kiss before handing over the food.
I walk over to the table to help myself to the pancakes, bacon, and syrup while Chase has his usual cold porridge because he’s a fucking psycho.
Once we’re done, Blade helps Luna out of the bed and walks her towards the bathroom, wheeling her IV stand along with her because she’s still getting the fluids she needs for treatment.
“You’re not showering alone,” he tells her, and I catch her eye roll, which earns her a smack on the ass. “Don’t think I can’t save up your punishments, Goldilocks.”
I catch the way her eyes flutter and her full-body shiver at his words, and I chuckle as they pass me. “Not a deterrent, bro.”
Bending down, I place a quick kiss on her lips, gliding my hand down her curls. My stomach clenches when I feel they’re not as soft as they were even a few days ago, and I’m reminded of what my mom’s hair became during her treatment.
“You okay?” Chase asks once Blade and Luna are in the bathroom, and I’m staring down at my hand, a lump in my throat. I look up at him, my vision wavering at the edges. “Shit, come here.”
He gives me no choice, pulling me into a hug and holding me tightly as I let the tears fall. The memory dream I had last night is just too close to the surface, and terror fills my veins at the similarities between our mom and Luna.
“She’ll be okay, Thorn. I fucking swear it,” Chase tells me, his arms banded tightly around me, his voice thick with emotion that is threatening to drown me. “I’m making sure of it.”
“I know, man. It’s just, Mom…” I don’t elaborate, I don’t need to. He gets it, and he places a kiss on the side of my head before pulling back, his hands cupping the sides of my head.
“We will win this time, there is no other option, okay?” His green eyes are fierce, and it lends me the strength to take a deep inhale and nod.
“We will win,” I reply, my voice still thick but more sure.
“What are we winning?” Luna’s soft voice floats out of the bathroom doorway, and I turn to find her brows lowered.
My lips tug up into a smile, even as my heart still hurts. I want to be her strength, especially because she needs me to be right now.
“You’re undying love, fair maiden,” I state, dropping to one knee and holding my hand out to her like I am a knight in those fairy stories.
She tilts her head to the side, then steps away from Blade, lowering herself down onto my knee. Then her hands come up to cup my cheeks, her eyes searching mine.
“You already have it, Thorn Banks,” she whispers, and I swear to fuck my heart stops beating. “And you don’t need to pretend with me. If you’re sad or worried, let it show. Don’t hide it because you think that’s what I need. I need you, that’s it.”
My smile wobbles, my jaw tight as I give her a nod, and bring my lips to hover over hers.
“You have mine too, Moonbeam. Now and always, and I’m terrified of losing you when I’ve only just found you,” I confess, and she exhales a breath against my lips.
“Let’s just focus on the now, and let the future worry about itself, okay, love?”
The endearment has my heart seizing once again, and I don’t give a fuck if this is too fast or she’s my stepsister. I’m in love with her, was from the first moment she walked into our lives, even if I couldn’t see it, and given everything, we have no time to lose.