Chapter 7
SLIP
In the lobby restaurant, I took a seat at the bar and ordered an Asahi beer. As I took a long sip of the cold ale, camera flashes caught my eye. No such thing as peace! I looked up and my friends ambled across the foyer, security tailing them. Flint flicked back the curtain of long black hair that covered his face. His eyes glinted as he waved toward the group of giggling girls standing by the check-in counter with their cell phones pointed at him and the guys. Cole kept his pace set on cruise as he draped his leather jacket over his shoulder, and Lewis strode beside him with his hands tucked into the oversized pockets on his long woolen coat. Several young female guests at a nearby table whispered frantically and pointed in our direction as the guys joined me. Yep, we attracted attention wherever we went. Good. Bad. Never indifferent.
“Dude, you made it in one piece.” Cole slapped me on the back, clutched my shoulder, and gave me a gentle shake.
“Just.” I swiveled on my bar stool to face them.
“You and Mads sent the Internet into meltdown. Well done, buddy.” Humor skipped through Lewis’s tone as he leaned against the bar counter. “Party-loving rocker corrupts Hollywood actress. That sounds like someone else we know.” Lewis grinned as he tapped Flint’s ankle with his boot.
“Hey.” Flint flung his arm around Lewis and ruffled his hair. “I’m just showing him how it’s done.”
“So you’ve read the truth about Mads and me online.” I chuckled, but that didn’t stop a low blow from hitting my guts. Some days, no matter what the guys and I did, we couldn’t avoid the headlines. Maddy and I had been in this game long enough to know that venturing out in public often resulted in photos hitting the Internet. But our spontaneous wedding had generated a whole new level of frantic gossip and intrigue. Fuck , I was over that crap. Yes, we’d been out drinking, dancing, and laughing, but we hadn’t been stumbling down the streets or vomiting in the gutters or causing havoc in the casinos. We’d just been having fun—time out from our hectic lives. A moment to let our hair down and be ourselves...not the stars everyone wanted or expected us to be.
But the gossip we’d caused had been ludicrous.
Not one of the online stories had said we looked happy or in love, or were having a blast of a time. Instead, they’d focused on the bullshit, reporting lies and vicious rumors.
I rubbed the back of my neck and puffed air through my nose. “Did you see the articles saying we had a shotgun wedding because Mads is pregnant?”
“Yep . . . is she?” Cole raised a questioning eyebrow.
“No. You fuck.” Laughing, I jabbed him in the ribs. “We use birth control. Always have.” Maddy had adamantly taken the pill since she was seventeen, and we’d used condoms until a few months ago. “...Unlike some.” I jeered at him and then waved toward his three-year-old daughter, Charlotte as she ran out of the elevator ahead of Harper and stopped to smell the flowers in the foyer. Finding out he had a kid six months ago had been earth-shattering. Taking custody of Charlotte after her mother had died had been life changing. As it would be. But he’d stepped up and blown us all away by toning down his wild ways and becoming a doting dad. Ava, his ex-bodyguard-now-girlfriend, had a lot to do with that too.
“Ouch...but I didn’t marry someone on a drunken bender.” Cole chuckled, clipping me over the head.
“Okay.” I held up my hands. Damn, I loved these guys. “We’ve known each other way too long and could throw low blows at each other all night. You wanna keep going?”
“Nah.” Cole swung his arm around my shoulders and half-hugged me. “I’d much rather fucking celebrate.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“So, did you and Mads work everything out?” Lewis shrugged off his coat and placed it on a spare stool.
“Nope.” I shook my head. We were nowhere near sorting things out. We hadn’t had time for any in-depth conversations. After we’d woken late on Saturday morning, we’d had to deal with our publicists and our families, and then I’d had to leave. “We’re not as solid as I’d like, but she’s willing to give us a shot for at least the next twelve months. I just have to work on convincing her we’re a good thing and meant to be together forever.”
“Nothing like pressure, dude.” Flint smirked. “Good luck with that.”
“I just like adding more to my list.” Not. I grabbed my beer, raised my glass toward him, and winked. “At least I married my girl and she’s not left wondering when the fuck it will happen.”
A big grin spread across his face. “Yours was unexpected, drunken craziness—mine won’t be.”
“It wasn’t a mistake. But fair point.” I guzzled my beer—anything to distract myself from the unease that still resided in my stomach. I wasn’t sure it’d disappear until Maddy and I could spend more time together .
Until then . . . the guys and I had our tour to continue.
A nervous young waitress in a well-cut navy suit with the hotel logo embroidered on the breast pocket stepped over to us. “ Kon’nichiwa . Good evening, everyone.” She bowed to our group, then turned to Flint. “Glover-san? Your table is ready.”
“Thank you.” Flint let out a huge breath as if grateful for the interruption and diversion from the topic of marriage.
So was I.
I slid off the bar stool and followed my friends to a private dining area at the rear of the restaurant. As I took a seat at the round table between Flint and Lewis, Blake, Tia, April, and Harper walked in. Charlotte snuggled sleepily against Harper’s shoulder.
As Harper passed behind me, she brushed her hip against the back of my chair. Chills ran down my spine. I wasn’t looking forward to a conversation with her, but I had to ensure she understood our past would never be repeated. I was with Maddy. Married. She had to respect that.
Problem was, I knew Harper. She didn’t like the word no . My dick used to have a thing for her tongue ring. She’d had a thing for me. I’d never suggested we were anything more than bed buddies. We had nothing in common—no buzz, no chemistry. We’d just had sex. But when I’d called it quits, it didn’t end well. It had turned ugly. She’d gotten upset. She’d broken a lot of shit and left.
Why did girls have to get so obsessive? But who was I to talk? Maddy had become my everything. I wasn’t going to let her go. The difference was Maddy and I loved each other and needed the planets to align so we could be together. Once this tour was over, shit would settle down and I could be with her wherever she was filming.
Blake took the chair opposite me. He moved his plate and chopsticks to one side and grabbed the menu. “Slip? Are we celebrating or drowning our sorrows?”
“Celebrating.” I showed him my ring. “Still married.” I loved showing my gold wedding band to everyone, especially the overzealous paparazzi and female fans that had swarmed me and Beckett at the airport, asking if the rumors and photos were true. It had become my shield that said back the fuck off, I’m taken .
“Excellent.” Blake grabbed his glasses out of his jacket pocket and put them on so he could read the menu. But then he glanced up, taking everyone in. “We can have a few drinks, but no one is to go overboard. You’ve got big shows ahead.” Blake turned to the waitress who’d finished pouring everyone a little cup of hot tea and was waiting patiently for our order. “We’ll start with two bottles of Verve, please.”
Okay ...this could get messy. And I was okay with that. I was fucking married. To a girl I loved. And I planned to stay that way.
“Yes, Poulton-san.” She bowed her head. “I won’t be long with your drinks.”
“Wait.” From beside Lewis, Cole held up a finger. “And an apple juice for Charlotte, please.”
“Yes. Okay.” The waitress bowed again and scurried off, giving Cole a flustered, star-struck smile as she left. But Cole only had eyes for his daughter.
As we waited for our drinks, we fell into banter and chatting. I did my best to politely ignore Harper sitting next to Blake as she entertained Charlotte, reading her a storybook or coloring a picture with the crayons Charlotte had grabbed out of her backpack.
“How was promo today?” I asked, angling my head toward Flint. We didn’t do many big press-oriented appearances during the tour. Most of those gigs were done during promotional tours for single releases, album launches, and tour announcements. Our current schedule of shows and travel was hectic enough without adding in additional obligations. Select media representatives came to the concerts. But our Japanese tour sponsors had insisted on a press junket. I wasn’t sorry I’d missed it.
“Totally crazy.” His eyes lit up as he grabbed his tea and took a sip. “We’d just finished the briefing with the host and were being led toward the conference room when this massive group of photographers caught sight of us. They bolted over to us and were pushing and shoving and clambering around to get pictures of me and the guys. Luckily, we were surrounded by security, and they got us to the room safely. It was fucking insane—scary, but also very cool. Sorry you weren’t there.”
“I’m not.” My blood pressure skipped up a rung just listening to Flint’s recollection of the event. I loved one-on-one interviews, TV and radio appearances, and photoshoots. I wasn’t shy in front of the camera. But mass media junkets, where questions flew hard and fast and often turned prying and personal, intimidated me. I could never think quick enough or respond fast enough, and was often left babbling like a fool.
“During the press conference, the reporters kept asking about you,” Cole added. “And the tour sponsors weren’t happy you were a no-show.”
I winced. Rail Energy Drinks were one of our big sponsors, as were Fender, Marshall, and Pearl. The guys and I rarely drank energy drinks anymore. They gave us stomach cramps. But the company had funded our tour buses, covered them in advertising, so it was best to keep them happy, along with everyone else. “So, what did you tell them?”
From beside Flint, April grabbed her napkin, unfolded it and placed it on her lap. “That you were taking a personal day and would be here for the shows.” April didn’t skip a beat in her cool reply. “The statement we released online about you and Maddy provided enough information. The guys did an amazing job deflecting any questions from reporters digging for more details.”
“Thanks, guys.” I tapped my palm against my heart. “I really appreciate it.”
The champagne arrived and Blake ordered food for us to share. After the waiter poured us glasses of Verve, Flint raised his flute toward me.
“Okay. I should be doing this at your reception, with our partners, friends, and family gathered—not here in some hotel without your wife.”
I’d love Maddy to be there, but I didn’t need a reception .
Grinning, Flint cleared his throat. “But here goes. The moment you met Mads, there was no denying you were into each other. You insisted you were nothing more than friends. Here I was thinking you were insane but totally honorable in respecting our old dibs rule. When you finally told us you were together, I was hurt that you didn’t tell us you’d been seeing each other sooner. But then ...I’m grateful because we had a lot of shit going on in the band at the time.” His tone softened. “Never hide anything from us again because I can truly see how much you love her. Together, you’ll survive anything. So here’s to you and Maddy. I hope you have a long and happy life. Cheers.”
“Thank you. We will. I promise.” I raised my champagne, but doubt jolted through my skull in rough waves. If everyone stayed out of our business, we’d be okay.
“To being a crazy motherfucker.” Blake raised his flute. “Congratulations.”
Blake was a brilliant manager. When we started playing, he’d gotten us gigs, sponsors, and our first record deal. He made sure we turned up to every show and got us to the next. His rules were simple: Don’t miss a performance. No matter how drunk or high, or whatever the personal crap you’re going through, suck it up and get out on that stage. Make every person in the audience feel like they have a chance of getting in your pants. Smile and be nice in front of the cameras. Love the fans.
The guys and I had never let him down . . . well . . . maybe we had once or twice.
Sometimes I didn’t know how we’d make it through a show, but we always did. We wanted to be in this business a long time, so we’d toned down many of our wild antics...on this tour, anyway. The previous two? Not so much. Everything was different without Phil. Most nights after our shows, the guys and I just hung out together to wind down. Blake rarely had to pull us into line, even when we had big after-parties. He knew we were serious about music and ambitious, so we didn’t need fathering. We were on an incredible ride. Nothing would fuck that up...except maybe me.
My head and heart had been in two places for months. They were here...but in Vancouver too. I didn’t know how to focus on being present.
After a huge feed and a couple of drinks, April and Blake excused themselves to return to their rooms. Charlotte had fallen asleep, curled up on the chair with her head resting on Cole’s lap. The rest of us sat around, drinking, laughing, and getting excited about the next few months of touring. Just before twelve, I called it a night. As I stood, Harper said she would turn in too.
“You want me to take Charlotte?” she asked Cole.
“No. I got her.” He stroked Charlotte’s blonde curls. “You go. Night.”
Great. But I couldn’t put this off any longer. We needed to talk.
With Harper by my side, I walked out of the restaurant and strolled over to the far corner of the foyer where a fountain of water cascaded down a slate wall into a black pond full of huge Koi fish.
I tucked my hands into the pockets of my hoodie and stared at the glistening surface. “So, how’ve you liked your first week of looking after Charlotte?”
“It’s been great.” She ruffled her fingers through her short blonde bob. It was like she was a completely different person without a head full of long dreads. “Charlotte’s adorable. So is Josh, Ava’s son. I can’t wait to have them join us in the summer.”
“I’m glad you’re here. For Cole. He needs you.”
“Yeah.” She stubbed her cherry-red Doc Marten boot against the pond wall. “It was a hard decision to come home...because of you.”
I grimaced and slumped my shoulders. “It shouldn’t have been.”
“I can’t believe you’re married. After all the times we hooked up.”
Nausea flooded my gut. I didn’t want old memories and mistakes to resurface. “Drop it. That’s in the past.”
Harper stared at the waterfall. “Does Maddy know we used to be together?”
Guilt scraped through my veins in slow strides. Like Maddy had kept the full details about Noah from me, I’d done the same about many of my past relationships—especially the mess surrounding Harper. “Yes. She knows.”
Harper gave me a sideways glance and raised a skeptical eyebrow. “So she knows you’ve never stayed out of my bed?”
Shit no. “Harper. Stop. I don’t want to upset or hurt you. But that won’t be happening ever again.”
“Okay.” Her quiet tone carried a coating of disappointment. That wasn’t good. “I’m thirty, for goodness sake. I’m not about to throw myself at you or pine over you. I’m not like that. But I know you, Slip. You always come back. ”
What the fuck? “Not anymore. This isn’t a game.” And Harper often played them. She was like me and the guys. A shit stirrer. Liked her fun. But I didn’t want her to cause any issues between me and Maddy. “I’m married. So, if you fuck with me and cause problems, I’ll get Cole to kick your ass back to teaching kids in Kathmandu. I don’t want to have to do that.”
“It’s okay. He won’t have to.” She shook her head and lowered her chin. “It’s just hard. No matter how many times I’ve tried to move on, my feelings for you have never died.”
Was she being serious? Harper was never serious. But something hovering low in her tone was different and prickled my skin. “Are you fucking with me?”
“No.”
Shit. “I’m sorry.” Why did fun have to turn into a nightmare? “I’ve never felt that way about you, Harps. You know that.”
She tilted her head toward me. “You really love this chick, Maddy?”
Every time I thought about Maddy, I couldn’t help but smile. Feel warm. I’d never loved anyone as much as I loved her. “Yeah. I do. More than anything.”
“So no last romp with me for old times’ sake?” A sexy dare flashed in the depths of Harper’s eyes as she flicked her tongue ring across her teeth. There was the old Harper.
But no. My dick didn’t even spring to life. “Definitely not. So don’t even try.” Chuckling, I shook my head, turning toward the fountain as two huge Koi fish glided across the pond. “I’m sorry if you were expecting a different outcome, but things have changed. There are plenty of other guys around to date or hook up with. You won’t have any issues finding someone.” As long as it wasn’t me, I didn’t care who she was with. “Didn’t you have a boyfriend or two in Kathmandu?”
“I had several.” She tugged the sleeves of her sweater over her hands, then tucked them under her armpits. “Most of them never stuck around long. They came for the summer season to hike the mountains or work in the tourist shops.”
“As long as you got some.”
“Enough.”
“That’s good.” I tracked one of the fish swimming toward the far end of the pond. But I could feel Harper’s eyes on me. An awkward silence hung in the air. She no doubt wanted things to be the same as before, but I’d changed a lot since Phil had died. I wasn’t a juvenile teenager looking for some quick thrills. I’d put my heart and soul into my band. I’d given my all to recording a new album and hitting our tour, and somehow made it through every day, coping with the aches and pains embedded in my body.
I’d had a rough couple of years.
Through it all, when I hadn’t been able to turn to the guys, Maddy had been there for me. And I’d done the same for her. Sometimes those closest to you, the people you loved and cared about the most, didn’t see the hell you were in as you pushed your own problems aside to help them. Maddy and I had been each other’s strength and had fallen in love during testing times. I was counting down the days until we could be together after the tour. I just prayed Harper stayed true to her word and didn’t cause any issues. But that’d be a first.
“Maddy’s one lucky girl.” Harper pressed her lips together, sucked in a deep breath, then play-punched me in the arm. “I hope she makes you happy.”
“She does.”
Harper nodded. “Cool. Um...I’m gonna go to bed. It’s late.” She took a small step toward me and held out her arms. “Can I give you a hug? A good-to-see-you-again-and-congratulations-on-getting-married hug.”
“Yeah.” I pulled my hands out from my pockets. “I’d like that.”
But as I wrapped my arms around her, she rested her chin on my shoulder, too close to the small of my neck. She breathed me in and squeezed me tight. Too tight. Held on for too long. Ergh! I didn’t need this shit. I pushed out of her hold. “Harps? Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Tears glistened in her eyes, but she blinked them away and flicked her hand through the air. “I’m good. Seriously. Don’t worry about me.”
I wouldn’t. “You’ll be fine. Just take care of Charlotte and Cole.”
“That’s why I’m here.” She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “Shit.” She pointed toward the elevator. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you ’round. Night.” She brushed past me and dashed toward the elevator. She may not have liked the outcome of our conversation, but at least she knew where I stood. There was no us. Never had been. She had to accept that there would be no more hookups. No more romps between the sheets.
But I still felt like shit for upsetting her.
Cole strolled toward me, carrying Charlotte. She was sound asleep with her cheek against his shoulder. “Hey? Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I stuffed my hands into my hoodie pockets. “Harper’s not happy I’m married.”
“Yeah. I gathered that.” Concern embedded in his low voice. “I would’ve never asked her to come home if I’d known she was still into you. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t want to cause you any problems.”
“You haven’t.” Hopefully. “Mads is all I care about. Harper has to accept that.”
“What can I say? You’re just a big heartbreaker.” Cole smirked as he flicked his hand against my shoulder, harder than necessary. “That’s why we have rules, man. You shouldn’t have fucked my cousin. ”
“Trust me. I wish I hadn’t.”
“We’ve all made mistakes. But some of them turned out to be good ones.” He kissed the side of Charlotte’s head and rocked her slowly from side to side. She was out like a light.
Harper had been a mistake. One I’d repeated too often in my often drunk or drugged out state. Meeting Maddy had changed everything. But had marrying her been a mistake?
Hot anxiety crawled and itched beneath my skin.
I didn’t want it to be. Not ever.
We’d dealt with enough crap. Every day that passed was one day closer to us being together. The gossip would die down. Our families would come around. Work would ease up. Surely our relationship wouldn’t have any more major hurdles to face than it already had.
Oh wait . . . who was I fucking kidding?
I was sure it fucking would.