Chapter 21
MADDY
THE PRESENT – EARLY JULY
“I’m so excited.” Sutton clipped in her seatbelt and pulled the strap tight.
“Me too. Italy, here we come.” I’d done it. I’d been granted ten days off work and could spend time with the band, Tia, Ava and Sutton in Italy. This vacation was just what I needed. My stomach had been a bundle of knots when I’d asked my producer and publicist for the time off. While they’d been shocked because I’d never asked for anything before, they were supportive and understanding, and had encouraged me—with a not-so-subtle plea to stay out of the tabloid headlines—to enjoy Slip’s mom’s sixtieth and sort out my personal life. Pity I couldn’t offer them any guarantees.
Not when new pictures of Slip and Harper had hit the gossip sites last week. They’d been photographed while talking in a hotel lobby, but my blood pressure spiked every time a new image of them emerged on the Internet. I’d been in this game long enough to not believe most of the crap printed online...but fuck, sometimes it was hard not to .
I’d made a pact with myself. This trip, I’d make an effort to get to know Harper—if she was up for it. Hopefully, that would help erase my fear of Slip leaving me for her.
“Hey?” Sutton leaned over the lowered divider between our first-class pods and held out her hand. I clasped it as if she were my grounding rod. She’d flown to Vancouver to join me for the flight overseas so we could keep each other company. Total bestie. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Just anxious to get there.”
She jerked her chin back. “Are you worried about flying?”
“Me? Hell no.” I giggled and smirked. “I live on a plane. Nothing about flying makes me nervous. This thing could fly into a treacherous storm, fall in turbulence, fill with smoke, or lose an engine or two and I wouldn’t blink an eye.” I’d experienced all those things traveling back and forth to Vancouver from LA.
“That’s what I thought.” Relief flooded her eyes, but then she stilled. “But now you’ve got me worried.”
“Nah. Don’t be. We’ll be fine.”
“So what’s up?”
“Hold on a sec.” I pointed to the flight attendant with a red scarf tied in a bow at her throat, gliding down the aisle, carrying a tray of champagne. “Let’s get a drink first.”
The attendant stopped at our seats. “Ms. Summers? Ms. Reed? Welcome aboard. My name is Renee, and I’ll be looking after you during your flight this evening. Would you like a drink before take-off?”
“Yes. We would.” I swiped two glasses off the tray, handed one to Sutton, and then guzzled mine before Sutton took her first sip. The sweet bubbles tickled my tongue, slid down my throat, and warmed my belly. The buzz swam through my head. But nothing settled the jitters skipping through my stomach. In fifteen hours, via London, we’d be in Milan. I’d get to spend some much-needed time with Slip. This will be good. This is what we need. If the noise inside my head would stop, everything would be alright.
I handed the empty glass back to the flight attendant and took another fresh champagne off her tray. “Please keep them coming.”
“Certainly.” Renee nodded and handed us a few packets of peanuts. “Enjoy your refreshments. We’ll be taking off soon.”
“Excellent.” I leaned back and sank into the soft leather seat.
“Mads? Spill. What’s going on?” Sutton placed her drink on the console between us and rested her folded arms on the surface. “Is this about your mom? You were worried about her earlier this week. Is she okay?”
This would be the first time I hadn’t seen Mom in LA every couple of weeks for almost two years. I didn’t know who was more anxious about that—me or her. We’re even...definitely even.
“Yeah, she is. Health wise, she’s been stable for the past month. She wasn’t happy I’ve taken time off, but Bridget has promised to look after her while I’m away.”
“So if it’s not your mom...” Sutton swiveled her flute around on the console. “Has this got something to do with Slip?”
I smirked and puffed air through my nose. “Everything is about him at the moment.” I guzzled a mouthful of champagne, swirled it around my mouth, then swallowed. “I’m meeting his whole family in a couple days. The last time I was at a large gathering of family and friends, I was left at the altar.”
Humiliated. Embarrassed. Broken. My very public breakdown had been dragged through the media. Slip and I had already been slandered through the press, so surely nothing worse than that could happen at his mom’s party. This event wasn’t about us. So why did my breath quicken, my chest tighten, and my vision blur every time I thought about attending? Was this a mistake ?
No. Slip and I would erase anyone’s lingering disappointment for not being at our wedding. There was nothing his family could say or do that would humiliate or embarrass me. “I’m sure I’ve just got the standard meet-the-relatives jitters.”
“You’ll be fine.” Sutton raised her glass, then took a swig. “I mean...how judgmental and harrowing can a large Italian family be?”
“Thanks, Sutt.” Half-smiling, I shook my head. “Not helping.”
“Everyone loves you. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah, I do.” I lowered my chin and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’m worried about Slip. Something was off last time we saw each other. Even during our calls, he hasn’t been himself.”
“How so?”
“I’m sure he’s just tired from touring. I’ve been exhausted and overstressed at work.” I rested my head back against the seat. “Last time he was home, he was restless every night. His hip was bothering him. He’s on strong meds, but he’s still in pain. He’s always good with Mom but when she had too much to drink and had a flare-up, he was convinced she was faking it. All weekend, he was up and down. It was just a weird few days.” Maybe I read too much into everything because my hectic film schedule was getting more overloaded. “Every time I asked him if something else was going on, he said no. I’m worried he’s pushing himself to the limit.”
“He probably is.” Sutton never downplayed anything. “All the guys are. What they do each night on stage is insane.”
I stared at the bubbles rising in my glass, popping into the air. “Yeah. Slip puts so much pressure on himself to ensure he gives the fans a great show and be the fun-loving rock star when they meet him. He can’t have an off day. But that fall on stage two months ago aggravated his old injury. He hates having to take it easy. Those online articles that slandered him for being dull during their concerts hit him hard. The gossip sites don’t care if he’s hurt.” I worried he’d do more damage if he didn’t take care of himself. Fuck ...he was like my mom.
Sutton swept her hair back over her shoulders and sighed. “No, unfortunately the media are fickle. They love you one minute, hate you the next. But I’m sure Slip will handle it. The guys have had worse news written about them over the years. They’re not the room-trashing, drug-taking, womanizing guys they used to be. True fans are at their shows for the music and to see them perform live. They don’t care what the headlines say.”
“Yeah.” I swiveled my head toward her. “We’ve been in enough of those lately.”
She arched one eyebrow skywards. “You want Flint and I to create a few while I’m with him? Take the heat off you and Slip?”
A small giggle escaped me. I’d know she’d do that if I asked her to. “Thank you, but no.” I curled my legs up and shuffled around to face her. “I can’t believe you’ve got two and a half months off and are traveling with the guys for the rest of the tour.” My filming breaks were never that long and always full of publicity obligations and taking care of Mom. I’d be back in the US for promotional duties in ten days.
A big grin lit her face as she shimmied her shoulders back and forth and clicked her fingers through the air. “I’m gonna be a groupie. I get time with my man.”
I loved that she was happy. “You’re going to have so much fun.”
“Yep.” Her gaze softened as she smiled. “Flint’s in his element. He loves touring.”
“They all do.” I twisted my flute around on top of my leg and pinched my brows together. “But Slip struggles with popularity. The gossip surrounding us hasn’t helped. This Harper news hasn’t gone away. ”
“It will.” Sutton gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, but it did little to relieve my lingering concerns.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore.” I stared toward the front of the plane, focusing on nothing. The stresses from work, worrying about Mom, and being apart from Slip had taken their toll. I needed this break more than ever. “Sorry. I don’t want Harper in my head, causing more issues between Slip and me.”
“Don’t be sorry.” She threw me a sympathetic smile. “It’s hard being apart, especially since you’ve just gotten married.”
“It shouldn’t be this stressful, right?”
“Don’t let the shit get to you.” Sutton jabbed me in the thigh. “Slip is good for you. He’s making you take control of your life. This is your chance to figure out what you really want. Is it acting? Staying in Vancouver? Taking more care of your mom? And most importantly, how strongly do you feel for him?”
I picked at some fluff on my leggings. “Everything scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because I haven’t allowed myself to feel anything for so long. But Slip makes me feel everything in overdrive.” Just thinking about him lifted some of the weight off my chest. “I want to experience new things. Do more. Have fun. After Noah left, I just existed. I put on this bubbly, happy face. I did what I was told to do and never questioned anything. But now I do.”
“That’s awesome.” She slapped my leg, then dialed down the volume on her voice. “I know it’s taken you a long time to get over Noah. I’m glad you’re giving Slip a real chance. The moment you met him, something changed in you. I couldn’t work out what had caused it because you kept seeing him in secret for so long. But I understand why you did. You needed to take it slow, let yourself be vulnerable, open up to him, and learn to love again. And you’ve done that.” She picked up her flute and tilted it toward me. “I’ve never seen you more in love and happier than I’ve seen you with Slip. Own that. Now it’s just the finer details you need to work out. And that’s okay. You’ve got time.”
My head fell back against the seat. “Why can’t I see a logical, sane way to be together?”
She lifted one finger off her flute and pointed at me. “Maybe you need to change your expectations about marriage.” Her blasé tone hit hard and low. Shit. Do I? “He’s not gonna be a husband that you come home to every day. You won’t be cooking meals together every night. You’re not about having babies and being a housewife.”
“True.” I’d have liked to see him on a daily basis though. “But what makes things even more challenging is my show got renewed for another two seasons.” I didn’t hesitate when the studio asked me to resign, and my agent had renegotiated a phenomenal new deal—one I couldn’t refuse. I’d yet to break the news to Slip. Not sure he’d be happy about it. “That means another two or more years in Van City. Longer if the show continues.”
“Ohhhh.” Sutton pouted. “I’ll miss you. But that’s so exciting. Distance has never been a problem for you and Slip, so don’t make it one.” She tapped a long fingernail against the console. “Treasure the times you are with each other, always plan to see each other, and trust the way you feel. Trust him.”
There! That is my problem.
Sutton drained her glass and waved at Renee for another, then turned back to me. “I know that’s hard for you to do. I’ve been there. I was a nervous wreck when Flint first went away on promo and was afraid of women throwing themselves at him, but that has passed. We’ve grown to love each other more and trust each other completely. When we’re in the same room together, he only has eyes for me. He comes home to me. Communication is key. I’ve never known you and Slip to have any issues there. You text each other all the time.”
“Yes, but that’s a lot of dirty flirting and sexy talk. And when we see each other, we often only have time for sex.” Wait... We were like that at first, but things had changed. He was always quick to come over when Mom was sick. I rushed to his place when he was overwhelmed with work. We always wanted to spend more time together but never wanted to burst the bubble we were desperate to protect. We wanted to keep what we had private. He knew more about me than most people did. Fuck ...I had to stop downplaying what we had.
Sutton giggled. “Most relationships start like that. But you kept going back for more. Slip adores you. And you’re crazy about him. There are no guarantees in life, but I honestly believe you’re good together.”
“Yeah, we are.” I picked at the cuticle on my thumb. I just couldn’t clear the black clouds messing with my mind. “It would be easier if Harper wasn’t on the scene.”
“Babe, she’s an ex for a reason. Remember that.”
God, I loved Sutton’s bluntness. We always gave each other tough love at the right time. And I needed a damn good dosage of it.
Renee returned with fresh champagne, handed them to us, and took our empty glasses.
Sutton raised her flute at me. “Mads, this trip you’re not going to stress about anything. Not work. Not about your mom. Not about the future. We’re going to have some girl time, go shopping, see the guys’ show, and have fun. And you’re going to have an amazing vacation with that handsome husband of yours.”
“Yeah. I need that. Thanks, Sutt. You’re the best.” I chinked my glass against hers and took a sip.
One thing I’d learned since being with Slip was that I’d been in a void for far too long, just working and taking care of Mom. Slip had brought me back to life and made my heart beat again. I was nervous and scared, and afraid of the hard decisions we had to make in the near future. But I was there for us. I was taking a leap of faith. I wanted to see if our love was strong enough to survive or if it would just fuck us up even more. I hoped it wasn’t the latter. I wasn’t backing out of our deal. I was determined to give our marriage a shot.
Block out the noise. Focus on us. Easy right?
After another drink, we took off. I caught a couple hours of broken sleep during the long flight. Following a quick stopover in London, we landed in Milan just after ten in the morning.
Private security whisked Sutton and I to the hotel. While the concierge attended to our luggage—we didn’t travel light—my palms sweated, and butterflies danced in my belly as we were escorted into the lobby. The guys would probably still be asleep after their show last night.
We checked in at the reception counter, grabbed our room keys, and headed up to our suites.
“I’ll see you soon.” Sutton gave me a heartfelt hug outside my room. “I can’t wait to see the guys perform tonight.” She stepped back and rubbed my arm. “Everything will be okay. Now go enjoy catching up with Slip before we head off. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do to Flint.” She threw me a saucy grin as she turned and headed to the suite next door.
“Oh, you know I will.”
She giggled and nodded. “Okay then. Don’t come too loud. I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’ll keep the decibels down. Bye.” I swiped my room key and entered Slip’s suite. I stood my carry-on bag by the closet and walked toward the king bed.
But my heart missed a beat.
Ice slithered down my spine.
Slip hadn’t stirred when I’d come in. He lay face down on the mattress in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. His arms and legs were splayed in all directions.
“Slip? You awake?” I crawled onto the bed beside him and swept his long hair off his face. Sweat beaded on his brow. His skin was on fire. Drool trickled from his mouth.
My pulse quickened.
What the . . .?
I gave him a gentle shake. “Slip?”
Nothing. Not even a moan.
Shit. My breath stabbed my lungs as I scanned the room.
An empty pill bottle lay sideways on the nightstand. Another one, half-full, stood next to it. A bottle of vodka, three-quarters full, was by the TV cabinet.
Fuck.
I shook Slip again. “Slip. Wake up. SLIP?”
Panic seized my chest. My heart drummed against my ribs.
I checked his pulse. His breathing. All good.
I grabbed my cell phone out of my purse and called Flint. Please. Please answer.
“Hey? Maddy.” Flint’s breathy voice moaned through the speaker, no doubt strained thanks to catching up with Sutton. “S’up?”
“Help!” My voice trembled and cracked. “Slip won’t wake up. There’re pills everywhere. Come. Quick.”
I dropped my phone, rushed to the bathroom, and grabbed a cold wet cloth.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I call the paramedics? The other guys? Jade or Blake?
Fuck.
My head spun. I couldn’t think straight.
Slip, wake up.
Babe . . . please be alright.