Chapter 8 Jude
Tennant stirring brings me out of my light doze. He sits up in bed and I open my eyes to glare at him, reaching for his arm. He looks at me and huffs.
“Door,” he signs.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I slide out of bed and stare at him until he rolls his eyes, but he lays back down next to Hollis.
I don’t bother reaching for my hearing aids. Whoever is at the door is risking their lives by interrupting us, so unless it’s to tell us the house is on fire, or Roman needs us, whatever they have to say can wait until later.
I’m only mildly surprised when I open the door and find Antonio on the other side. He looks up at me, his chocolate eyes full of need and pain. “Fuck, Bello. Come here.”
I reach out for him, holding him close and feeling him shudder in my arms. His lips move against my throat, and I pull back enough to look down at him with a grimace. “I didn’t hear you. One moment.”
Pulling him into the room, I close the door and tug him over to the nightstand so I can grab my hearing aids.
“I’m sorry,” Antonio says lowly once he’s sure I can hear him. “I promise, I’ll learn ASL—”
“Hush.” Placing a finger over his lips, I lean in and kiss him gently. “You’ll get there. Now isn’t the time to worry about it, though. You going to tell me what’s wrong?”
He looks to the bed, where Hollis is still asleep, and Tennant is doing a good job at pretending to be.
“Don’t worry about them.”
Taking his hand in mine, I lead him to the side of the room, where Hollis had a chair and table brought in so he could work and observe whoever is in bed. Sitting down, I encourage him to straddle my lap.
Framing his face with my hands, I look into his eyes as I ask again, “What’s wrong, Bello?”
Antonio shrugs and looks down for a moment, before meeting my gaze again. “I’m sorry. I know you need to be here with Hollis and Tennant. That Roman needs you right now, but…”
I smile a little and brush my fingers across the scars on his face. The way he flinches makes my heart hurt, and I wish Cecily was still alive so I could carve pieces off of her.
“You’re beautiful, Fiore. I love you. Once you’re healed, we can look into your options with Doc, okay?”
Tears fill his eyes. “I’ll never be the same…”
“You’ll still be mine, Antonio. Nothing will ever take that away. I don’t care what scars you bear. I claimed you, and you will never be rid of me, Bello.”
He shudders and seems to melt on my lap. As if he needed that reassurance from me. If so, I will remind him every single day how much I love and cherish him.
I didn’t expect to find him. Even when Roman hinted at the two of us, I brushed it off as Roman just messing around. But now that I have him—him and the twins, my shining stars—I never want to be without them ever again.
“Were you feeling left out, Bello?” I ask gently.
He shakes his head and then shrugs. “It’s stupid. I know I can’t keep all your attention all the time, that you have others—”
“Hush.” I lean in and press a soft kiss to his mouth.
“Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, there is always room for you. Much like there is room for Tennant, Hollis, Roman, Nicolo, and Nario wherever the two of us are. No one is more important than the other. If you need me, you’re welcome here, they won’t say anything.
Well…they might bitch about needing a bigger bed, but that’s a Hollis logistics issue more than anything. ”
He laughs a little. “An orgy bed? I can get on board with that.”
I huff and shake my head. Of course, he would have the same idea as Roman regarding a bed big enough for us all.
“For now, we know this bed can comfortably hold four, so come lay down with me.”
His eyes widen a little. “Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude…Hollis needs rest.”
“It’s not a suggestion, Bello. I could use some more sleep, and so could you.” Gently, I run my finger over a dark circle under his eye. “You haven’t been sleeping well.”
“I…I keep feeling their knives… Keep hearing her voice. How determined she was to ruin me, to make it so no one would ever want me again.”
“Shh.” I press gentle kisses to both of his cheeks before pressing our lips together again. Clutching him tightly, I hope he can feel my love for him in every touch.
Pulling away, I wipe the stray tears on his cheeks and encourage him to stand, so I can lead him to the bed.
Antonio undresses to his underwear, while I once again remove my hearing aids. Laying down, he doesn’t need any prompting to climb onto the bed and plaster himself on top of me. Tennant gives up pretending to be asleep as he tosses the covers over us.
Antonio hides his face in my chest, clutching me tight. Smoothing a hand down his back, I kiss the top of his head before turning to look at Ten, who leans in and presses a firm kiss to my lips.
Tension leaks out of me as I feel Antonio relax and his breathing evens out, telling me he’s giving into sleep.
What is it about twinks that ease my uncomfortableness with being touched while going to sleep?
First, Roman, now, Antonio… I don’t know if I can ever go back to not having one of them on me, their weight a comforting presence while in bed.
We need the damn orgy bed sooner rather than later. Because the only thing that would make this moment better is if Roman and the twins were here. Emilio, too.
Tightening my arm around my Bel Fiore, I close my eyes, my mind finally, blissfully going quiet as exhaustion catches up to me.
It’s these quiet times, surrounded by those I’ve made my family, that make all the pain and heartache worth it. Our problems are still there, but for now, it’s just us, and that’s what we’re all fighting to live for.