Chapter 21
Cam
“And it’s like . . . I don’t know, it’s been so weird.
” I swing. Aiden dodges one punch, and I nearly catch him off guard with the next.
I swing again, he ducks, punching back and catching me in the ribs.
“And you know . . .” I wheeze. “You know . . . why now? Is it because he touched me . . . because we kissed? Why? I mean, if I were to touch you right now—”
“Please don’t—”
“Like, you wouldn’t feel anything. I mean, I wouldn’t. And when I look at guys I don’t feel shit. What sexuality is that? Huh? I mean objectively you are a handsome fucking dude, but I don’t want to touch you.”
“Oh no, so hurt,” he says flatly.
He swings, nearly catching me on the chin. Sweat drips from my skin. “So like, what is that? Why him? Why now? Is it because I know him so well, is it? I don’t know. And I love women, they’re so hot.”
“Objectively, yes they are.” He swings hard, connecting with my side, and I double over trying to catch my breath. “Not that I give a shit.”
“Are you gay?”
Aiden goes to knee me, but I catch his leg, slamming him onto his back with a grunt. This sneaky asshole.
“I’m none of your goddamn business,” he breathes, struggling to stand up. When he’s upright he puts his fists back in front of his face. Do we not get tired?! Aiden swings twice as hard, frustration furrowing his brow. “Didn’t he go on a date with that guy?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. He didn’t say much about it when they got back.” When I’d asked Bo about it, after he got home last weekend, he didn’t say much. They had a great time, I guess, but Bo has been a bit closed off since. Amira’s words are stuck in my mind, though.
Do I have romantic feelings for him? “That guy would be perfect for him. He’s super hot, can bake—like a real proper pastry chef. He said he loves grand gestures and romance, but that’s not Bo at all.”
“That guy sounds like he lives in fantasy land.”
“Bo?”
“No, the high-maintenance guy he went on a date with.” He swings again.
“You know, I tried with a guy . . . gave me head a couple of months ago—” Aiden swings close to my mouth. “I only came because I thought of Bo.”
Aiden steps back, pressing his fists into his eyes. “You have not shut up once since I came down here and started punching you.” He swings hard, hitting my bicep. “Shut.” He swings again. “Up!”
“Excuse my fucked-up brain. Apologies.”
“And we’re still talking,” he whispers.
Aiden walks over to the corner to grab his water bottle, squirting some into his mouth and then resting against the ropes.
I wasn’t lying to him. Objectively he’s a hot guy, but I’m not going to lie, he’s a bit scary.
He’s a couple of inches shorter than me with these oddly violet eyes that are constantly glaring at me.
His muscles aren’t as bulky, but maybe stronger than mine.
He's a fighter. I can tell. He's not new to a boxing ring. We’ve been going at it for nearly twenty minutes and I’m exhausted while he's barely broke a sweat.
“What do you think?”
“Don’t not engage. Do not engage,” he whispers to himself.
“If he loved me, he’d tell me, right?” Why wouldn’t he?
“I just want to punch shit.” Aiden curses under his breath. “Why would he tell you?”
“What?”
“If I were him, which I’m not, thank god, I wouldn’t tell you.
You can barely understand what’s going on yourself.
You think he doesn’t sense that shit? I met you like weeks ago and you haven’t shut the fuck up since then.
” Aiden shakes his head. “I wouldn’t risk my ego on something like that. You need to get your shit together.”
Scratching my head, I don’t understand. Bo tells me everything. Only lately, I don’t think that’s the case.
Aiden bends to place his water bottle on the edge of the ring, his chest still heaving with exertion. Sweat drips down his chest.
“What would you do?”
“You’re asking the wrong person.” He rests against the ropes. “The thought of even being in a relationship makes my skin crawl. I don’t understand why you’re all obsessed with it.”
“With . . . love?”
Aiden shakes his head, looking away. “Romance, answering to someone, fighting over stupid bullshit. Having someone in your space all the fucking time. It seems way too tedious.” He rolls his shoulders.
“Pointless,” he says quietly. “At this point I’d let Mr. Fantasyland have him.
He seems like a lot of mental work too. If I were your friend, I’d be running far and fast from all of you. ”
Ouch. Aiden’s wrong, though. It’s not pointless. Not even a little.
Even if our relationship remains the same as it is, firmly in the friend zone, I can safely say all of it—the confusion, the wondering, the tying myself in knots—all of it’s worth it for one of his smiles. Having Bo in my life is worth everything to me.
“It isn’t pointless, but I respect that you feel that way.”
Aiden’s violet eyes seem to darken. “Are we done here?”
“Oh uh, yeah, sorry, um . . . yeah, sorry.” I clear my throat and watch Aiden grab his shirt and bottle. I fucked up, I fear. I always do this. I just word vomit on people. He’s for sure quitting this gym. He didn’t even ask me to come down here, I just came down, and I wasn’t thinking—
“Camden.” Aiden stops on the steps, turning toward me. There’s a scar running down his cheek, but it only adds to the handsomeness of his face. “I’ll see you after the holidays, okay? I’ve got some work to do, but I’ll be back.”
I smile so wide it hurts. “Yes. Uh, after New Year’s.”
He watches me for a moment. “Look, I don’t know you, and honestly after all of that it seems like a blessing.” So mean. Damn. “If I were you, though, I’d go for it. What’s the point of all this? You’re twisting yourself into knots for nothing.”
I grin, walking to him with my arms open. He ducks out of the way. “No. Absolutely not. Why would we, that was stupid of me.” I laugh.
I follow him up the stairs and watch him go off toward the showers, then I walk to the front desk, surprised when I see a familiar face at the counter.
They weren’t supposed to be here for another half hour.
Sam, thankfully, is letting me dip out a little early today so I can ride up with them to the lakehouse. “Hey, Cam,” Jamie says.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, Noah and Bo are grabbing groceries and lots of alcohol for the week. I asked if they could drop me off here while they did that. Grocery stores are hell on earth. Are you busy?”
“Oh no, not really. I’m all packed. Bo was going to bring my bag.
” I’m looking forward to this week. I don’t really take many days off or vacations, so Sam was more than happy to let me go early today.
I just love this job. I’m grateful to be doing something I love with a boss who cares about the people around her. “What’s up?”
“I want to know if you can help me with something.”
“What’s that?”
Jamie’s tan cheeks brighten with a blush. “I have some health issues. My back, I uh, want to work out. I want to like, tighten shit up, you know? I just can’t do anything strenuous, but I want results. I don’t want to diet like crazy, though, I’m not into that.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to do that. Diets don’t work. Being mindful and balanced is always better. I can share some recipes if you want, depending on what your thing is.”
“My thing?”
“Spicy, sweet, chocolate . . . like that.”
“Oh well, I mean, I don’t think food is the problem.
I just want things to look better.” He leans against the desk.
“And I don’t want to be in a ton of pain after.
I have a lot of chronic pain issues, but there has to be some things I can do, right?
” Jamie shakes his head, looking irritated.
“My boyfriend only runs, and he has a damn four pack.” He rolls his eyes. “I just want to look better.”
The vulnerability in his voice catches me off guard.
“Nothing wrong with that.” I get him signed up, and unlike Aiden he actually answers all of my questions without glaring a hole in my face.
“Can you be my emergency contact? Since you’re here.
” I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s emergency contact.
“Yeah, of course.”
Typing his information in, I have to ask, because Bo hasn’t really talked about his date. “So um, when I left, did Bo have a good time?”
“Subtle.” Jamie smirks, leaning over the desk to watch what I’m typing. “Are you asking if Sawyer and Bo have seen each other since?” Am I?
“He hasn’t talked about it at all. So I’m just curious.”
“Uh-huh.” He rests his elbows on my counter. “What about you and Amira?”
My face flames. Ugh, I do not want to think about that.
“There’s nothing there. Just friends,” I say firmly, just wanting to forget that night.
I can’t believe I unloaded on her like I did.
I sent her a fruit basket with an apology.
I feel like shit, and she’s right, I have to stop dating to escape.
As I finish up his paperwork and hand him his keycard, Jamie’s dark eyes watch me. “What?”
“Nothing you want to share? Nothing else?”
I glare at him.
“Fine. Never mind. Let’s go get me ripped for my hot boyfriend.”
“Just like this.”
Jamie’s on his back, one of his arms straight up. The other is stretched out behind him.
“Then the one leg up.” I get down on the mat, grabbing his side. “Keep it tight. Then do it again for ten more reps. Once you get used to it, you can add to it. As many as you want.”
I watch Jamie do as he’s told, and the hand that’s straight up begins to wobble a bit. “Harder than it looks, huh?”
Jamie keeps going for fifteen reps instead of ten.
“Good. Now the other side.”
He curses, putting his other hand straight up with the opposite leg and doing fifteen reps. “Never mind. I’d rather be soft,” he says.
Laughing, my eyes dip to his stomach. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. He’s a big guy in general. But I guess I see what he means when I watch the soft skin of his belly show.