Chapter Eleven
Rico wished he could have taken Michelle to a hospital or hospice unit for her final days, but he’d promised to honor her wishes, and that he would. At least the morphine drip and fentanyl patch seemed to do a decent job at controlling her pain and nausea. She slept most of the time now.
More and more, though, he wondered how Gina would deal with Michelle’s death, which seemed imminent at this point. He pulled out his phone and googled “grief for children who lost a parent,” but none of the results were particularly satisfying. He’d spoken with the school counselor on the phone a few days ago, and she’d given him some advice, but he felt so out of his element.
Gina was an observant kid, even if grasping the thought of Michelle leaving her forever might be beyond her abilities yet. Despite Gina’s knowing how sick Michelle was, she still held out hope that her mama would get well again.
He’d have to keep talking with the girl to prepare her for her mama’s passing.
Franco could give him some backup. He’d lost a parent, although Angelina might be a better one to ask. She’d been only sixteen when their papa was killed.
He had to admit that having Franco stop by these last two nights had lifted some of the burden off his shoulders, especially in caring for Gina. Rico had hospice nurses and volunteers in and out during the daytime hours but had mostly taken on the nights in Michelle’s room by himself.
However, he was nearing exhaustion. He might need to ask for more help soon. Hospice would be here again this evening to replace the IV bag. Gina would be in bed by then, so he and Franco would have a little uninterrupted time together while Michelle’s needs were met, even if it was only half an hour or less.
Rico didn’t like being away from Michelle’s side much, though; he didn’t want her to pass alone.
“Gina’s going to be okay, Michelle.” The hospice people had told him to keep talking to her, that she would hear him even if she didn’t respond or appear to be awake. “I’m going to keep her with me, and I’ll take her to see your mama in Chicago at least once a year during summer breaks. And, of course, we’ll go up there to see her in the coming weeks or months.” He couldn’t speak the words after you die.
Michelle’s mother, his only close relative, had been in an assisted living center for almost two years now following a stroke. She hadn’t wanted to move to Denver, thinking it was the Wild West or something, so she’d chosen a church-affiliated home where she had a few friends. It would be important to Michelle that Gina know her grandmother.
Tears stung his eyes. “I’ll always do my best with her and will raise her like she’s my own daughter.” His life was about to become extremely different from anything he could have envisioned even a few months ago. He’d never thought he’d have the responsibility of raising a child. Hopefully, they would eventually enter into some kind of routine and their relationship would grow deeper as the years went on. Not that he could love that kid any more if she had been his own biological daughter.
Rico didn’t want to think about how hard Michelle’s death would be on Gina. He’d lost his own mama a few years ago, but he’d been an adult. Losing your mother at the age of ten wasn’t the way life was supposed to be.
So not fair. God, why are you destroying this little girl’s world like this? Can’t you give us a miracle?
But life never had been fair for these two. Michelle had struggled to raise Gina on her own. Rico had helped when he could and spent as much time with them as he was able, despite living two hours away.
Where would he want to raise Gina? It wouldn’t be fair to uproot her soon after her mama passed and move her to Aspen Corners. A few months ago, he’d have seen that as his only option, but thank God he’d hired a capable manager last spring when he started up the catering side business. She might even be doing a better job running the pub than Rico had in some ways.
Could he live full-time in Denver, though? He liked the slower pace back home, although the big city had a lot to offer in the way of amenities and conveniences.
Not to mention proximity to Franco. He wasn’t sure dating anyone would be in his future, but even having Franco stopping by for meals or to hang out with them would be time Rico would treasure. Gina liked Franco as far as he could tell. He also trusted Franco to be in their lives. He wouldn’t be bringing any other men into the house or their lives at least for the foreseeable future.
Going over matters in his head, Rico made a decision he needed to share with Michelle. “I’ll keep her in school here at least until the end of the academic year. She’ll take comfort in being with her friends and living in a familiar place.” This was only the end of September, which made this a monumental commitment to make, but Rico had to think about Gina’s needs first now.
Rico watched Michelle’s chest rising and falling ever so slightly. No change despite his colossal announcement. Could she even hear him?
Each time this week, when he came back into the room after his much-needed breaks, her breathing was the first sign he watched for. The hospice intake nurse had first informed him what to do when she stopped. When the time came, he just had to call hospice. They would confirm her death and make the arrangements to have her body removed to the crematorium.
But telling Gina would fall onto him.
“Zio Rico?” The tentative voice from the doorway tore him away from his morbid thoughts, and he turned to find Gina standing there, her gaze fixed on Michelle’s frail body. “Can I tell Mama good night?”
He waved her in. “Of course.”
As she’d done since Michelle had become bedridden, Gina crawled into the bed beside Michelle on the side without the IV.
“Mama, guess what?” Gina whispered, then paused a moment as if waiting for a response. When one didn’t come, she continued. “I beat Zio Franco in The Game of Life. Oh, he’s Zio Rico’s friend, and now he’s my friend too. He’s very nice and helped me with my homework last night. He’s very patient with me, like you are.”
Rico thought he saw Michelle’s eyelids move as if trying to open them, but it might have been wishful thinking or some kind of spasm. He so wished she could talk with her daughter one more time. Perhaps he’d been wrong to keep the truth from the child for so long.
Gina stretched her arm across Michelle’s chest and gently patted her mother’s abdomen as if soothing a sick child. “But I wish you could help me instead. I miss you so much, Mama.”
Again, hot tears pricked the backs of Rico’s eyes, but this time he let them spill down his cheeks.
“I hope you’ll wake up soon.” Maybe she hadn’t given up hope yet like Rico had. “Night, Mama.” She sat up and leaned over to give Michelle a kiss on the cheek before getting off the bed again.
“I’ll be right back, Michelle.”
Rico took Gina by the hand and walked with her to her bedroom door where she looked up at Rico, her face somber. “You stay with Mama. I have to say good night to Zio Franco. I can take care of myself.” Her grown-up demeanor broke his heart.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Mama needs you more.” The little girl had matured beyond her years these past few weeks. Gina glanced down at their feet. “I don’t want her to be alone if…”
Maybe Gina wasn’t holding on to false hope after all.
Gina came running from the back of the apartment and wrapped her arms around Franco. “Good night, Zio Franco.” He returned the hug, and she held on longer than he would have expected, so he did too.
Thinking perhaps she wanted him to come back again, he promised, “I’ll probably be over tomorrow at some point.”
She pulled away finally and smiled up at him. “Good! We can play more games.”
“You’d better believe it. I need to show you I don’t lose every time.”
The girl beamed back at him, as if to say, Game on. “Well, I have to go to bed now.” She giggled as she trotted off down the hallway toward her bedroom.
“Don’t forget to brush your teeth!” Franco called out after her.
Wow. What a papa thing to say.
“I won’t!” A moment later, she came out of her room to run into what he assumed was the bathroom. So much energy. Would she be able to wind down and fall asleep tonight?
Gina was a great kid, not that he knew any other kids to compare her to. He hoped his presence was a help to Rico, despite the circumstances. How Rico had been handling everything solo boggled his mind.
Franco glanced down the hallway at Michelle’s closed door. He hadn’t been inside her room and tried to envision what was going on in there.
Poor Rico.
Having to watch a loved one die slowly and painfully had to be one of the most difficult things to endure.
The intercom buzzed, and Rico poked his head out of the bedroom a few seconds later. “That’s the nurse. Can you let her in?”
Franco quickly figured out how the system worked to buzz her up and opened the door to wait for her to get up the stairs.
“Hi. I’m a friend of Rico’s,” he greeted her.
“Glad you’re here. I don’t know how that man has done it all by himself, especially these past few weeks.” She echoed his very thoughts.
She didn’t stay in the living room long but headed straight to Michelle’s room. Rico met her in the hallway, murmured something quietly, and they went into Michelle’s room together, closing the door behind them. No doubt, he was trying to shield Gina from what was happening in the room. Did Gina know how dire the situation was? Franco hoped so. Not that one could ever prepare for something like this, but being blindsided would be much worse.
Gina came out of the bathroom and stared at her mama’s door a moment before hanging her head and returning to her room. Franco followed her, thinking she might want someone with her before she went to sleep.
“Can I tuck you in tonight?”
She turned and a smile lit her face. She nodded vigorously. “I didn’t want to bother Zio Rico. He usually does it, but he’s got to take care of Mama.”
“Well, I’m not going to be as good at it as he is, but I’ll do my best.” He pulled back the covers, knowing that would at least be one of the steps. Gina crawled under the top sheet and Franco covered her with it and a light bedspread. She stared at him expectantly. He wasn’t sure what came next. “You might have to give me some pointers on the rest, though.”
“Mama or Zio Rico usually read me a chapter from my book.” She pointed to the nightstand where he found a Magic Tree House book. He picked it up and found a bookmark sticking out. That helped. He sat on the edge of her twin bed.
“Okay, here we go.” He read the pages, quickly picking up on the plot. Gina listened attentively until he came to the end of the chapter. He waited for her next instruction, but Rico came into the room before she could say anything.
“Thanks, Franco.” Rico went to the other side of her bed and sat on the edge of the mattress. “Good night, Sweetie. The nurse is with Mama, so I get to kiss you good night at least.” He glanced at Franco. “I’m glad you had Franco here to tuck you in, though.”
Gina beamed at Franco. “He’s a good reader.”
“Better than I am?” Rico pretended to be offended.
She looked from one man to the other. “No. You’re both good. Just different.”
Franco grinned. “Thanks. I certainly can’t replace Zio Rico.”
She grew serious. “Zio Rico takes really good care of me. If Mama d… doesn’t make it, he’s going to take care of me. He promised.”
“You know I will.” His voice sounded raspy, and Rico diverted the conversation. “Now, let’s say your prayers and get some sleep.”
She folded her hands and closed her eyes. “God bless Zio Rico and Zio Franco. And please make Mama well again, if you can.” She opened her eyes and Rico leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead. The touching scene and her prayerful plea nearly broke Franco.
Franco stood, ready to make his exit. “Night, Gina.”
“Aren’t you going to kiss me good night too?”
He glanced at Rico who smiled and gave him a short nod. Franco leaned over to place a kiss on her forehead where Rico’s lips had been only a few moments ago. Surprisingly, in doing so he felt an inexplicable bond form between the three of them.
Standing again, Franco cleared his throat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo.” He made up his mind to spend the night at the apartment, unless Rico kicked him out. Franco turned and left the room, wanting to give the two of them some time alone.
Rico joined him in the living room a few minutes later. “Thanks for helping out.”
“Don’t mention it. I don’t know how you’re juggling so much right now.”
“Well, obviously, I drop a few balls here and there. But Michelle and Gina have been forgiving—or perhaps oblivious to my ineptitude.”
“You’re doing a great job of taking care of everyone else, Rico. Now, let me take care of you a little while.” Franco closed the gap between them and turned Rico around before pulling a kitchen chair away from the table. “Sit.”