Chapter 16
Sunday afternoons were dedicated times I spent with Mom.
During the week, we were both beyond busy—her with all the principal things, me with all my cheer duties and homework and social life maintenance.
We established Sunday as our movie day long ago, where we would do nothing but rot on the couch, watch rom-coms and dramedies, and eat our weight in chocolate-covered fruit.
Which was healthy. It was fruit, after all.
I might’ve laughed if I weren’t so paranoid that the universe was trying to out me.
“Do you think it’s ridiculous?” I asked Mom.
She was cuddled up on her favorite chaise, a blue floral-printed blanket drawn up to her chin. “Which part?” she asked. “Paris’s haircut? Do you think it’s historically accurate? Probably,” she went on, answering her own question. “Romeo’s, however, certainly isn’t. Looks good, though.”
Apparently, I got my rambling from her. “The fact that Romeo and Juliet are even into each other.” I rolled a dark chocolate coated blueberry around in my palm. “I mean, their families are enemies and have always been. What about that is enticing?”
Mom shrugged. “Forbidden things are always more exciting, aren’t they?”
“Are they?”
“You only think it’s ridiculous because you know how it ends. A tragedy. But for them, it’s just a romance.”
We were already halfway through the movie, after Douglas Booth and Hailee Steinfeld decided to meet at the church to tie the knot.
Mom’s eyes were still glued to the TV, but my mind was too busy wandering.
“It would be like… like, say… oh, I don’t know…
if I fell in love with Jefferson’s quarterback or something. ” Scoff.
I watched Mom from the corner of my eye, but she didn’t look over. She did, however, laugh. “Yeah, hard to imagine, isn’t it? Their principals must not have been that strong to begin with to even find themselves in this position.”
“Principals?”
“You would never allow yourself to be in a position where you’d even fall for Jefferson’s quarterback.”
“What if I didn’t know?” I swallowed hard. “They didn’t know when they first saw each other. That they were from enemy families. They fell in love first and then found out.”
Mom finally looked over, brow furrowing. “Hang on, so which side are you on here? Do you think they’re ridiculous or are you defending them?”
I shook my head and dug back into my bag of chocolate fruit, shoving a handful into my mouth. “Just… playing devil’s advocate.”
That was how it’d happened with Logan and me, though.
Of course I’d never have fallen for Logan if I’d known he was Jefferson’s quarterback first. But I hadn’t known.
I’d thought he was going to Brentwood, allowed myself to be wooed by the possibilities and the what ifs, allowed myself to swoon at how handsome he was… and it left me in this situation.
Would it end similarly? I wasn’t dramatic enough to think that anyone was going to die, but my social life—would that survive? My friendship with Jade? I was past worrying about peaking in high school now. Was a romance with Logan worth the heartache that was sure to come?
When I thought of how warm his arms had been around me Friday night, butterflies rushed through me. Every. Single. Time. And yesterday, the way his eyes sparkled as we walked through the game shop. My heart had nearly melted at the sight of his happiness.
Today, though, all the answers to the question of why not had come back to me in an equally dizzying rush, tampering my eagerness.
The doorbell rang, startling both of us. “That must be the pizza.” Mom looked at me, settling deeper into her seat and tugging her blanket up to her chin. “I’ll buy your gas for the week if you go get it.”
Of course, I couldn’t pass that up. Throwing my blanket off, I stretched my arms above my head. “Cash is in your wallet?”
“Yep.”
Perfect. I padded down the hallway, tugging on the hem of my pajama shorts.
When I opened the door, it wasn’t the pizza delivery driver on the other side, but Jade.
With red, puffy eyes and big splotches that kissed her throat and the skin all over her face. She’d been crying. Hard. “What’s wrong?” I asked immediately, grabbing her forearms. I checked our driveway. “Did you walk here?”
Jade lived probably a ten-minute drive from our house with downtown traffic, which meant it easily had to be nearly an hour walk. Her glassy gaze lifted to mine, and when she spoke, her voice was scratchy, raw, and small. “Can I come in?”
“Girl, of course.” I practically tugged her into the foyer, shoving the door shut behind her. I glanced back toward the living room, but I couldn’t see Mom from where we stood. “Let me go tell Mom I’ll be back later.”
Jade closed her hand over my wrist. “Don’t tell her I’m…” Crying. Jade couldn’t say it.
“I won’t.”
She started down the hallway, and I doubled back toward the living room, steps slow as I thought of what I’d say.
Mom was craning her neck when I came into view, a confused look on her face. “Was that Jade I heard?”
I nodded hesitantly. “She’s—”
“It’s our day, Madison.”
My shoulders dropped. “She needs me right now.”
“Just like you needed her Friday night when you had to call me to pick you up from Wallflower?”
“Mom,” I hissed. I whirled to look over my shoulder, but thankfully Jade had already disappeared. “She won’t be here all day. I just—I need to see what’s going on.”
Mom pursed her lips before ultimately turning back to the TV. “If the pizza comes, I won’t leave you a slice.”
The last part was muttered in spite. No way would she finish the whole large pizza herself. Probably.
I hurried to my bedroom, my socks slipping on the floor. I found Jade sitting on my bed, her comfort spot in my room, hugging the Barbie goose to her chest. Her eyes were watery, and her nose was running. She truly was a rough sight—one I hadn’t seen in forever.
She looked up at me when I shut the door. “I’m sorry for barging in,” she murmured, genuinely sounding embarrassed. And clogged.
“Don’t be sorry at all.” I sat down beside her and smoothed a hand down her hair. It was knotted and tangled from the wind. “Tell me what’s going on. Is it something with Connor?”
Jade huffed out a little laugh, but there was no humor in it. “No. I haven’t talked to him since Friday.” She sniffed hard, lifting her tissue to swipe underneath her nose. “It’s… my parents.”
“Did they have a fight?” Jade’s home life was relatively okay.
Her parents were both busy with work, like a lot of parents were, but they weren’t neglectful.
Any time I went over to Jade’s house, her mom would always make a charcuterie board for us, or her dad would grill steaks.
I didn’t remember Jade ever talking about them arguing before, either, but I had no idea what else it could be.
“My dad… He got a job offer in New York.”
New York. For a moment, I only blinked, because I couldn’t even understand it.
“New York, Madison,” she repeated, seeming to sense my confusion.
“And they want to move there. Hours away. I’d—I’d have to start at a new school, already into the school year.
My senior year. Madison, I’ve fought so hard for everything.
And—and—they’re just asking me to kiss it all goodbye?
” Panic began filling her voice, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.
“I’m finally captain of the cheer squad.
I’m finally at the top, Madison, and I’m supposed to just give it up? I can’t!”
Jade cried the last two words before crumpling into me. She slumped into my shoulder and just let it out, and this time, I could feel the wetness of her tears seep into my shirt. I patted my hand down her back, staring at the window in my bedroom.
From here, I could see where Maisie’s car was parked in her driveway.
I’m finally captain of the cheer squad, Jade said, but she wasn’t. She was co-captain.
Guilt stabbed into me. Here Jade was, sobbing in my arms, and I was worried about a stupid title? How horrible was I? What was wrong with me?
“I can have my mom talk to your parents,” I told her, continuing to smooth my hand down her back. “Have her tell them how bad of an idea it’d be to switch you your senior year. Aside from it being so horrible socially, your grades will also suffer. That’s, like, statistics.” Probably.
“How could they do this to me?” Jade cried, shaking as she gasped in breath after breath. “Why is everyone turning on me? Why is everyone making me the bad guy?”
Who is making you the bad guy? “I’m here for you, Jade. We’ll figure this out—”
“Why can’t everything be just how it’s supposed to be?
” Jade pulled back enough to press both of her palms to her eyes, digging in.
This time, though, I could still see her shining cheeks, the tear tracks almost slicing her skin.
“Why can’t Connor just like me again, and Reed just be on the football team, and Landon just date you, and I get captain of the squad, and you just—”
“You are captain.” I couldn’t keep it to myself this time.
“Co,” Jade spat out, the singular syllable scathing. “I’m co-captain, and I should’ve been captain. That’s exactly how it should’ve been. My parents wouldn’t dream of pulling me out of school if I was the captain. As it should’ve been.”
My skin prickled uncomfortably, an unnamable emotion wriggling its way down my spine. “You’re co-captain with me,” I said, blinking at her. “Your best friend.”
Jade lowered her hands and looked at me.
The red splotches on her face had worsened from the crying stint, but the way she looked at me was foreign—as if I were foreign to her.
I sat still under her stare, feeling like I should’ve said something more—should’ve taken back whatever unknown insinuation my words implied—but I didn’t.
I just knotted my fingers together in my lap.
Jade seized them suddenly. “You could give it up for me,” she said, squeezing my hands tightly. Too tightly. “You could tell Coach Chelsea you don’t want to be co-captain.”
“Jade—”
“You’d do anything for me,” she insisted. “You dumped Logan for me.”
I hadn’t dumped him for her. I had dumped him because of her. And even then… “This is important to me, too.”
“It’s only important to you because it’s important to me.”
I actually recoiled from her tone, which had been flat, absent of the emotion that’d clogged her throat moments ago. She’s right, a part of me insisted. She needs it more than you. Back down, give it up. Don’t give her a reason to be upset with you.
“You only wanted to be in cheer because I wanted to be,” Jade went on, and as she spoke, the sadness began to evaporate, replaced by something urgent. “You only tried out because I brought it up first. You’re only on the squad because I wanted to do it first.”
“No,” I said. “I only wanted to be in cheer because Maisie wanted to be.”
And everything went quiet. Jade’s ragged, desperate breathing, the rattling of thoughts in my head, and even the movie from the living room—I couldn’t hear any of it anymore. Jade’s expression was perfectly devoid of emotion, like I’d blinked and she’d wiped every ounce of feeling clear.
Pure, thick fear gripped me then, and I practically tripped over my words. “I mean—because the three of us wanted it. Not—not just her.” Jade’s expression didn’t change. “Jade, I didn’t—I didn’t—”
“Didn’t what? Didn’t mean it?” Jade let go of my hands, cold all at once. “Is it the truth?”
“Jade—”
“You wanted to do cheer with Maisie Matthews?” she said. “Not with me.”
“I wanted to be on the squad with both of you.” My racing heartbeat was beginning to make me dizzy. “I wanted—”
“And yet you sabotaged her rehearsal. You practiced the wrong choreography with her for weeks, so she’d bomb it and you’d shine.”
Bile rose in my throat. “You asked me to.”
“You still did it.” Jade swiped her hand across her cheek, wiping away the traces of her tears as her eyes hardened.
“You pitched such a fit over your label, but look what you did freshman year. Even now. You can’t even step down on the cheer squad totem pole even if it meant I could stay at Brentwood. ”
I gasped for a breath. Her anger at me, all at once, was unbearable. “Jade, that’s not true—”
“You want the captain position all to yourself, is that it?”
The tears burning my eyes had begun to pool over, because no matter what I tried to say, it wasn’t coming out right.
And I couldn’t let her be mad at me—I couldn’t.
“I don’t want it,” I whispered, voice pinching as my own panic grew.
“You can have it—I don’t want it at all.
” And then the words rushed from me, like I was a broken dam.
“I’ll—I’ll do it. I’ll talk to Coach Chelsea after practice tomorrow, I’ll step down.
I’ll—I’ll tell her I’m not cut out for it.
You’re right. You deserve it. I’m sorry. ”
“You mean it?” Jade demanded, and the switch flipped again. Instead of snapping and furious, there was something like hope in her voice. “You’ll actually go to Coach?”
I nodded, sucking in a breath that was more like a hiccup.
“Oh, Madison.” Jade reached out and wrapped her arms around me this time, tugging me to her chest. I felt horrible for not saying it earlier, because the relief in her tone was palpable. “Oh, Mads, thank you, thank you.”
I sat in her embrace, trembling too hard to lift my arms. I bit down on my lower lip to keep from crying harder, the silent tears leaking out of my eyes.