Chapter 31
"W hat the hell are you doing?"
My shoulders jumped at Sene's unexpected interruption, and the book I held tumbled to the floor with a loud thud.
I bent to pick it up. "What are you doing home?" He usually hit the gym for two hours after work.
Sene eyed the kitchen table, his brow furrowing as he surveyed the stack of books. "My shoulder’s playing up, so I decided to have a rest day. What the hell is all this." He gestured at my collection.
I slid a random business card I had in my wallet between the pages before closing it. "They're books.".
He rolled his eyes. "I know that, dummy. But why are you reading? You haven't read a book since college."
"What? I read," I insisted.
He waved his hand. "Newspapers and the back of cereal boxes don't count."
He strolled closer and picked up a title at the top of the stack. His brow raised as my cheeks flushed.
"' Before it Breaks: How to Save Your Marriage from the Brink of Divorce," he quoted. He picked up another title. "'The Marriage Crisis: When you want to stay, but they want to leave.'"
He set it down and backed away as if he'd caught me looking at porn or something. "Duuude. What the fuck?"
I shrugged, expecting his reaction. I'd already gotten an eyebrow raise and a side eye from two librarians. I hadn't expected Sene to be home so soon; I'd planned to have everything hidden away by then.
"Please tell me that this is for your own personal growth, and you're not actually…" His voice petered off when he spotted my open notebook with half a page of scribbles.
"Seeing if I can get my wife back?" I finished. "Yes."
"I thought you said she was pushing through with the divorce."
I did not want to be reminded about that. " After she…she has the baby." I also hated being reminded about her pregnancy, but there was nothing I could do about that. One thing at a time.
"Drew. What the fuck are you doing?"
"I've been thinking a lot over the last few weeks." I shook my head. "I'm not ready to let her go yet, Sene. Call me delusional. Call me stupid, but I have to see if I can change her mind."
"Drew, she's pregnant with another man's baby,” he bluntly reminded me. “You don't even want kids."
At my expression, he threw his hands in the air. "See! Drew, you can't even talk about the pregnancy without flinching. And don't think I haven't noticed that you leave the room whenever a diaper commercial comes on."
My jaw tightened stubbornly and I picked up my book again. "I haven't thought that far ahead."
"Well, you need to…because in a few short months, her baby will be here. She'll be back in Columbia, and you'll get those divorce papers."
I stared at the words in front of me, my face set in stone. Sene sighed before taking a seat opposite. He moved my stack of books away from him, as if scared he would catch whatever I had.
"Look, I love Frankie. And I hate that you two aren't together. But you have to face reality sooner rather than later."
The small hope I carried deflated and my shoulders slumped at his words. He had a point. I didn't want to know anything about her baby, her pregnancy, or the events that led to it . I never wanted kids and now Frankie was having one regardless. I didn’t know how to overcome the torment of thinking about or even seeing Frankie pregnant with another man's baby. All I knew for sure was that I couldn't live without her.
The thought of Frankie doing life away from me, doing life with someone else…the mere thought sent a trickle of distress down my spine. I was more afraid of that than…than anything else.
Sene clapped me on the shoulder before leaving me so he could shower and change. When he came back down an hour later, I was still reading. He let out a defeated sigh.
"Dude, let me show you some free library book apps. You can also share my book account. Saves you from having to haul all these around."
Remembering the judgemental looks on the librarian's face, I flashed him a grateful smile. He rolled his eyes and picked up a take-out menu. "Alright, you weirdo, Thai sound okay?"