Chapter 51
P ink, purple, and white streamers hung from the ceiling, and balloons of all colors spilled onto the floor. A curated playlist of Polynesian and Spanish songs played just below the loud chatter and laughter of our select guests.
We’d had to quickly change Alani’s birthday party from the close family and friends gathering we’d planned—given the recent change in circumstance. Between my family and Carlos’, the invite list included an extra twelve people; and that was just Carlos’ immediate family—his parents, his sister, brother, their spouses and kids. Dad had just about enough room for everyone, although it was a tight squeeze for all of us to fit inside at the same time. Luckily, he had bifold doors that opened up from our kitchen onto our decent-sized backyard. The weather was kind to us, with the sun shining warmly throughout the day.
It could only be the very best for a special little girl who had many sets of family who adored her. Mine, Drew’s, and Carlos’. Plus, her honorary Aunt Nellie and Uncle Sene. She was a lucky girl who, hopefully, would grow up knowing how much she was loved and protected.
Right now, the birthday princess was soaking in all the attention as she was passed around relatives and friends who wanted a cuddle.
Drew hovered over her, ready to snatch her away if a single tear dropped from her eye. But he was in serious competition. Carlos loomed a few feet away, his hawk-eyed stare fixated on Alani. He was still learning his boundaries; still figuring out a situation that could easily turn contentious if people’s emotions got the better of them.
Still, when someone held Alani too long, Carlos didn’t hesitate to swoop in and steal her back. It was…weird. And I wasn’t the only one who found the dynamic strange. I could see inquisitive eyes watching the scene unfold, their curious expressions jumping between the three of us. Were they waiting for Drew and Carlos to throw hands? From Drew’s tight expression and Carlos’ awkward smile, there were times I wondered whether a few elbow jabs had been made along the way. But I also trusted them not to jeopardize Alani’s happiness.
As afternoon bled into night, presents were opened, the cake was blown and eaten, and everyone relaxed into the night’s festivities. Carlos’ siblings and their kids went home at nine, so with the numbers significantly reduced, we were now able to have everyone inside.
The party had been a roaring success, with everyone mingling and getting to know each other without issue. I’d been so worried leading up to today, fretting that it would be awkward for everyone. I’d also been nervous that Carlos’ siblings would ice me out or be openly judgemental. But they couldn’t have been more kinder or welcoming—to myself and Drew. Yes, I could tell that they were fascinated by our situation, and my married woman status, but Carlos or his mother must’ve ordered them to keep a lid on any nosey questions. They also openly loved on Alani, spoiling her with a huge pile of presents.
I’d had a good, long talk with Ximena and Craig, and even joined in with a few rounds of musical chairs with the kids and Carlos' brother, Diego. Now, my dad, Mary and Carlos’ parents were chatting quietly in the lounge with glasses of wine and beer. Alani slept soundly on Carlos’ shoulder as he talked with Sene and Nellie at the kitchen table.
Drew had finally given Alani space with Carlos and had stayed by my side for the past hour. He’d been quiet most of the night, but his hand had never strayed from mine.
“Are you okay?” he murmured in my ear, his voice rising over the soft crooning of Kolohe Kai’s Ehu Girl.
I glanced up at him, my hand tightening on his as it wrapped around my shoulder. “Are you?” I volleyed back.
His gaze rose briefly, and I knew he was seeking out Carlos and Alani. His eyes smiled down at me, the corners crinkling. “Yeah. I am.”
“Frankie, Mary and I will pack up the food and dish out the leftovers,” Ximena told us. “You must be tired and Alani is asleep now. We’ll make sure everyone leaves, and Craig and Carlos will help tidy.”
I glanced up at Drew, who nodded down at me. “Thank you, Ximena,” he told the older woman.
She waved us away before she hurried over to Carlos who was smoothing Alani’s back as she slept on.
I watched as Carlos gently rose with Alani in his arms. She shuffled a bit and he rubbed gentle circles on her back, his lips shifting to place a soft kiss on her head. My heart lurched at the scene. Carlos and I were friendly, but I kept our interactions strictly about Alani. He video-called us every day to speak with her—or, rather, speak to her while Alani babbled back at him. Sometimes the calls would last five minutes, sometimes thirty. It all depended on Alani’s mood. But the important thing was: Carlos called.
He’d also driven down twice to see her, but since I didn’t fully trust him yet, he hung out at the house with my dad keeping him company while Drew and I went out to eat. It was still early days, but the current situation worked for us for now.
He was making all the right moves, and hope bloomed in my chest that his involvement would only grow.
***
Drew
“I miss you.” I stared at my beautiful wife through the camera, my heart aching at not being near her.
She placed her chin on her hand. “I miss you, too. Are you busy?”
Frankie had just finished a shoot; a family session at a studio she rented for use. We were making our daily—well, multiple daily—video calls. This was on top of our constant texts. Some might find it excessive, but being without Frankie, my wife, for so long was driving me crazy. It wasn’t like she was away from me for a week; she was literally living a few hours away. I hated coming back to St Louis after being surrounded by her warmth and by Alani’s sweet giggles and cuddles. My apartment was cold and lonely. I spent more time hanging out with Nellie and Sene, or going to the gym, than being at my apartment. I couldn’t even call it home because nothing felt like home without Frankie.
“Just about to head out to lunch,” I told her as I stood to put my jacket on.
If I wasn’t so attuned to Frankie, if I didn’t know her inside out, I could be forgiven for missing it.
But I knew Frankie.
I knew what every wiggle of her nose or twist of her lips translated to. I knew without her saying a word whether she was tired, hungry, angry or sad.
That meant that I also knew what the slight flicker in her eyes meant. It was only a split second—just a small shadow of a shutter that briefly darkened her beautiful, dark-caramel eyes.
She hadn’t mentioned anything in the months we’d started to reconnect and date again, but I could see it every time I left to go back to St Louis, or when I video-called them as I ate breakfast before heading to work. Or, now—as I was heading off to have lunch in the same cafe she and I used to meet at when our schedules aligned. The same cafe where she’d seen me lunch with Carly that fateful afternoon.
I hated working here. I would’ve quit a long time ago, but my next plan was dependant on Frankie’s next move. I longed for her to ask me to move to her—to move in with her and Alani. I knew our day would come eventually, so I was content to remain patient for now. Until then, I didn’t see the point in finding a new job when Frankie could decide at any moment that she wanted me near her.
But seeing that look just now on Frankie’s face, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. She hated that I still worked with Carly. It didn’t matter that Carly and I only communicated through our group chat; it didn’t matter that she was now very openly flaunting an office romance she’d started up with someone in the accounts department. It didn’t matter how many breakfast, lunch, and dinner calls I made to Frankie—she still carried the pain of what I’d done to our marriage. Just like I sometimes woke up in a cold sweat thinking of Frankie in bed with Carlos.
But Frankie had been tortured by my behavior for far longer. And she was still suffering. I knew why she didn’t speak up about it, but this wasn’t what we’d agreed on. Open and honest. That was now our new motto.
I stayed on the line with Frankie right through my lunch and my short walk back to the office. I texted her when I left and when I was home. I called her for dinner and watched in amusement as she tried fruitlessly to keep Alani from flicking her food everywhere.
She was another reason I couldn’t stay in St Louis any longer. I missed Alani. Seeing her on the weekends just wasn’t enough anymore.
A career idea had taken form in my head a few months ago. Truthfully, it started when I sat across from Frankie at Nellie’s birthday dinner as she briefly confided in me about her work. It had been a fleeting thought—a dream. And, at that time, that was all I’d thought it would be. A pipe dream in a long list of regrettable fantasies that would run through my mind when I went through my list of what-ifs .
The day Frankie needed a sitter for Alani, the idea bloomed again. I’d been stretched out on the couch with Alani snuggled peacefully on my chest, finally having a quiet moment to be with my thoughts. That dream had started to call out to me again.
Now, it was no longer a dream—Frankie was back in my life with Alani. Something I never thought would ever happen again. It was time to make the next step in my dream a reality.
After I said goodnight to my two girls, I grabbed a pen and pad and started plotting.