Chapter 52
F eeling refreshed after my bath, I tightened the tie on my silk robe with a soft smile. It was Saturday morning and Drew was downstairs with Alani and my dad. When he'd arrived, he'd surprised me by planting a lingering kiss on my mouth before urging me to take a long bath.
"Go pamper yourself with those pink salts you like," he'd said. "Dan and I will keep this little lady company."
I didn’t need to be told twice. I’d done a small wedding yesterday afternoon so I hadn't scheduled anything for today. I did have a newborn shoot tomorrow morning, and Carlos was coming down to help watch Alani with dad while I was away on the job. Drew planned to come with me to the studio, and then we'd go out for lunch. It was the perfect weekend—a little work, play, and a hot date with my husband—one who had very nearly become my ex.
I smoothed a hand down my body, loving the feel of the silk against my skin. Something low in my belly tingled, and I clenched my core at the familiar feeling of desire. One that had been creeping up a lot over the past few months.
Now was not a good time to be reminded that I hadn't had sex in a very long time. My thoughts flickered to the last person I'd slept with, and my mind clouded over with guilt again. It was a mindfuck to keep thinking about it. The last person I should have had sex with was Drew, my husband. But then I wouldn't have Alani, and I couldn't regret her for a second…and so my fractured mind went round and round again.
My hand grazed my stomach, rubbing over the soft mound of my belly. My body had changed a lot since I’d had my daughter. Had changed a lot since Drew last saw me naked. When was that again? I couldn't even remember. Self-consciousness curdled my gut, and any desire I felt at that moment deflated rapidly. With a resigned sigh, I padded down the stairs, eager to join my family.
The house felt quiet as I searched for them, wondering why I couldn't hear Alani. My brow pulled down when I entered our lounge and spotted Drew sitting on the couch, wearing a pensive expression. No TV on, no phone out. And no Alani or my dad.
I glanced around. "Where's Alani and Dad?"
He patted the spot next to him. "I sent them out for an early lunch. Think Dan's also taking her to the park."
"Oh." I glanced at the empty spot beside him, where he was enticing me to sit. There was a shift in the air, and I wasn't quite sure whether it was good or bad.
"Frankie, can we talk?"
He must've seen the color drain from my face because he immediately stood and held up his hands. "It's nothing bad, baby. I promise. I just want to talk about something that's been on my mind for…well, a long time."
That didn't make me feel any better, but I moved slowly to sit beside him, eyeing him warily.
My robe gaped when I sat, and I could feel Drew's eyes immediately slide down. His jaw clenched and his chest heaved slowly before releasing. I subtly rearranged my robe, crossing my legs demurely.
"What did you want to talk about?"
His hands reached out to clasp mine. His expression was so serious that I was taken back to that awful morning in our kitchen, and his anguished face when he told me about Carly.
As soon as the thought entered, I immediately pushed it aside.
No.
This wasn't like that. Drew had been unflinchingly honest with me since we'd started to reconcile. There was nothing more about his relationship with Carly he needed to tell me. We'd also talked extensively about his childhood, laying bare all his scars and insecurities. It was something we were still working on—my shattered trust and his childhood issues. We hadn't talked about it for a while now, not since Carlos had come into our lives.
He licked his lips and his throat bobbed. "I'm quitting my job."
My head reared back and my eyes widened. A shot of relief traveled through me before I schooled my features. "Oh? What brought this on?"
He lifted my hands and placed a gentle kiss on each knuckle. "Baby, I know you hate that I work there."
My eyes shifted away. A denial sat at the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it back. "What makes you say that?"
"I know you, Frankie. I can see the strain in your eyes whenever I mention it or when I call you from work."
My lips twisted, but I couldn't deny it. His hand squeezed mine. "You hate that I still work with Carly."
God, I hated hearing her name from his lips. "Yeah," I slowly confirmed, not wanting to lie. "It's not that I think you're talking to her like that again, or-or that anything is going on. It's just –"
"Working there, being near her is a trigger for you."
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. "I do trust you," I insisted.
He shifted closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned my head against him, taking strength in his warmth.
"Thank you." His voice shook with emotion. "I-I wondered if you did again. Trust me," he clarified. "I can't tell you how it feels to hear you say that." His hand tightened around me. "But that doesn't mean I need to keep re-opening that wound I know is still raw with you."
"It has been…difficult."
"I wish you told me, but I also understand why you haven't. You're trying to put my feelings first."
I knew instantly what he meant. Because I was. I didn't want to stress him out with my revolving issues about his work and her because he was already dealing with so much. Welcoming Alani into his life—a child that wasn't biologically his. Navigating his issues regarding his father—the fact that he hadn't wanted to be a dad, but now would be one through me.
And then there was Carlos. I knew Drew struggled with him being in the picture now. Completely understandable.
"We're in this together. I'm still working on rebuilding full trust with you. I still want you to come to me with any stress or discomfort you have about what I'm doing or about our past. Just because I'm navigating something—-and let's be clear, something I had a huge hand in causing—-doesn't mean it just wipes out all the shitty decisions and actions I'd made in the past."
"I know," I murmured.
"I hope you do," he urged. He pressed a kiss to my head and pulled back, his brown eyes sincere and full of love.
"I didn't like my job when I started, and I completely hate it now. Partly because I'm doing something I'm not passionate about, but also…because it keeps me away from you and Alani."
My eyes shimmered in the morning light, searching his. "What are you saying?"
"I want to move to Columbia. You and Alani are here, and Dan adores his granddaughter. There's no way I want to take her two hours away from him, and I can't stand going to sleep and waking with you miles away from me. It doesn't feel right."
It didn't feel right to me, either. I took a shuddering breath. "I want you here, too."
He closed his eyes in relief. "I can find a place nearby, something small while we figure—"
"No," I cut in. His brow furrowed. "I-I've thought about it, too. This house is big, Dad's getting older, and I don't want to leave him again. I was thinking—and I've talked to Dad already about this, too, for when we're ready—that maybe you can move in here?"
His eyes lit up, and I swear they glazed over with moisture. His lips rolled in, and instead of answering, he leaned forward and slanted his lips across mine. My mouth opened and his tongue swept inside. I curled my hands around his neck and felt his touch wrap around my waist. I moaned and shuffled closer to him. That desire that had sparked inside me earlier returned in full force.
Without thinking, I started to move backward, my hand gripping his neck tightly. He knew what I wanted—what I needed—and followed my lead. His body curved over mine slowly as my head touched the couch pillows. For the first time in a long time, I savored the familiar feel of his large body on top of mine. It was a position we'd been in many times over our decade together, but I knew I would remember this particular moment for the rest of my life.
Our lips moved slowly and lazily against each other until his warm mouth left mine to plant hot, wet kisses down my neck. I gasped when his tongue touched that spot. The one where my neck met my shoulder. The spot that never failed to make me wetter. My thighs slid against each other, and it was then that I felt the missing silk between my legs.
Drew's lips left my skin and his concerned gaze searched mine. "What's wrong, baby? We can stop. We don't have to go any further."
I shook my head. Misconstruing my action, he immediately pulled back to release me from his body weight. But I stopped him. "No, no, I want this." I glanced down at my gaping robe. "I-I've changed," I told him, warmth heating my cheeks.
Understanding dawned in his eyes before they softened. He bent down and placed another lingering kiss on my swollen lips. His hand reached down and stroked the lapels of my robe.
"May I?" he asked.
I hesitated before nodding.
Ever so gently, Drew partially moved his body weight off me until his stare caressed down to my open robe. He could only see my upper abdomen and the soft globes of my full breasts. Slowly, he pulled the robe aside, his careful gaze watching me for any sign of hesitation. My breath suspended as I let him uncover me.
Cool air kissed my skin as the robe parted in full. My breasts felt heavy, my nipples erect and swollen. I wanted to suck my stomach in but resisted the urge. His intense stare hypnotized me as they zeroed in on tits that were significantly larger than he remembered.
Red slashed his cheeks, and his chest inhaled in a shudder. "It's been absolute torture being near you all the time and wondering how sexy you look under your clothes. Your body has always been my favorite temple to worship at and I never envisioned you could be any sexier."
His eyes flicked to mine, and my breath caught at the heavy desire in his dark gaze. "But then you had Alani." He shook his head. "Those few times when I saw you when you were pregnant, I still thought you were the most beautiful, sexiest woman I've ever seen. All those delicious curves."
His hand slowly reached out and stroked my left breast. I drew in a shaky breath, a moan of pleasure trapped in my throat. My tits were so sensitive, even more so when his thumb rubbed against one turgid nipple. This time, I couldn't stop the moan that escaped.
His mouth touched my nipple, his tongue circling before he traced the lighter marks around my breast…the lightning marks that I'd become self-conscious of. The same marks that lined my lower stomach. But I wasn't concerned about my stretch marks right now. Not when his mouth was stroking down my stomach, tracing those same marks. His kisses were urgent and intense, making me feel worshiped and adored.
"Drew," I moaned.
"I know, baby," he murmured against my skin. "I know what you need."
My legs opened further, relaxing as my focus moved away from my insecurity and onto his touch. I couldn't think, especially when his fingers reached down and searched through my damp folds.
"Fuck, baby," he groaned as his breath blew against my mound, his fingers rubbing me slowly. "You're so wet."
My hands speared through his hair, and I followed my carnal instinct by applying firm pressure to his head. Urging him with actions on what I wanted. What I needed.
His hands parted my wet folds, his eyes meeting mine. "Is this what you want?" His tongue slid between my pussy lips, and I arched up, still clutching his head.
"Yes!" I gasped.
His tongue moved against me, his lips sucking my clit before moving down to stroke against my dripping hole. I squeezed my eyes shut and allowed myself to sink into the sparks of pleasure that his tongue and mouth were giving me.
He groaned against my flesh as his lips and tongue moved against my flesh. My hips rolled, encouraging him to go deeper, harder. I could feel that peak of ecstasy calling me, and I was racing to meet it.
Before my body exploded, Drew moved back. My empty pussy wept at the desertion, causing my eyes to fly open.
"Wha…?" I started, unable to form a coherent thought. What are you doing? Why the fuck did you stop?
"I need to be inside you when you come for the first time," he breathed harshly.
My foggy mind fought to catch up with his words. My eyes dropped to his hands that were busy pushing his pants down, taking his briefs with him. My breath caught as I had my first view of his cock in so long. The head was an angry, bruised purple, and a bead of cum seeped out of it, demanding release.
I licked my lips, and my legs opened wider, welcoming him. "Yes," I moaned in agreement.
He grabbed the root of his dick as I shifted my leg up to rest against the back of the sofa, spreading me further. I tipped my hips up at him, helping him line up his big cock with my willing, wet cunt.
He didn't need any lubrication; I was soaked and probably needed to wipe this couch down. But I couldn't think of that right now. Right now, my thoughts were on my husband. And how it would feel to have him in me for the first time in a long time.
I breathed deeply as he slowly slid inside me, taking his time. Despite the desire written all over his face, I knew he was restraining himself for my comfort. His eyes continuously met mine, looking for any sign of discomfort.
"Is this okay?" he asked, his voice tight.
My hands tightened on his waist, urging him forward. "Yes, it feels good." It was a little weird to feel him in me since I'd birthed Alani, but not unpleasant. Far from it. "Keep going, I can take it," I urged.
He sank to the hilt with a tortured groan, his head hung down, watching our connection. "Fuck," he whispered.
My leg wrapped around his waist, encouraging him. He followed my cue, sure that I wanted to continue. His hips moved slowly at first in a lazy, practiced rhythm, as if reacquainting himself with his favorite spot. His head bent, and his lips met mine as he continued to thrust inside of me. He groaned into my mouth as his hips started to move faster. Little whimpers escaped my throat as the feel of him in me took over my body in a tidal wave of hot, red pleasure.
He grunted as he moved faster, his breaths coming out in choppy pants. Words of encouragement and love pushed past his mouth as he groaned his ecstasy. Any insecurities I still carried swiftly vanished as I flourished under his praise.
"I love you," he gasped. "Come with me."
My legs tightened around his waist as I felt that familiar tingle in my pussy. His lips touched my tits, and I felt the gentle pull of his mouth. I cried out as my sensitive tits leaked. That was all it took for my neck to arch back and a strangled scream to escape. White light exploded behind my eyes as they squeezed shut from the torrent of pleasure that raced through me. Somewhere in the echoes of my mind, Drew's answering groan followed me into that awaiting peak of pleasure.
A long time later, Drew's head moved from my breast and he stared at me in reverence. "Thank you." His voice was hoarse. "I dreamed of how this would be…I never thought this would be us again. That I would get this chance to be connected to you like this again. I love you."
I pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. "I love you, too."
After we cleaned up—ourselves and the couch—I was still bathing in the afterglow of our lovemaking. I watched Drew dreamily with my chin in my hand as he dished out an omelet and placed it in front of me with a kiss.
Once we'd eaten and cleaned up, we moved to the couch to cuddle and wait for Dad and Alani to return. My mind raced through what we'd discussed earlier, running through the logistics of his eventual move. My brow pulled together as I realized a missing piece of his plan.
"Babe, do you already have a job lined up here?" I knew he had more savings now that we had dealt with the storage unit rental and he was paying lesser rent. He didn't need a job straight away, of course. I was working more steadily than ever thanks to that wedding and the word-of-mouth recommendations that came from it. Drew would also be living with us, so there were no additional costs besides groceries and other taxes. Still, I knew Drew liked to work. He preferred to keep active and be on the go.
"Ah," he said. "That's the second part of my plan. I was going to tell you before your sexy body distracted me," he teased.
Blushing prettily, I slapped his thigh playfully.
"Let's work together."
It took a minute for his words to register. "What?"
"I know that the one blind spot you have as a freelance photographer is a videographer. I know it kills you to turn down or be looked over for jobs because a couple prefers to hire the two at the same time. I've been retraining myself, honing my craft as a videographer and photographer. I can support you. I can help you. We can grow this thing together while doing something we love."
My mouth had dropped open during his spiel. I knew I needed to partner with a regular second photographer and videographer to advance and become more competitive. He was right; it was something I wanted to pursue, but never in a million years did I think of Drew coming on board. He was talented in his own right, and I loved his style, but he and I had been through so much together. What would our relationship look like if we also worked together? And was this what he really wanted, or was this to keep me happy?
"You're right. It would help my career enormously. But…”
"But what?" The light had dimmed a little, and I felt terrible that I was dampening his enthusiasm.
"Are you sure this is what you want? That you want to work with me, that you want to do weddings, parties—"
"Yes," he firmly interjected. "My happiest moments—apart from now with you and Alani—were when we worked together. I know we didn't do it professionally, but traveling with you, sharing our passion and ideas…I loved it."
He spied the hesitation still in my gaze, but a tiny flicker of excitement took flight in my stomach.
"Let me show you my plan. We can talk it all out. Together."
I searched his face for any sign of reluctance or false enthusiasm. Instead, I spied the same excitement that lingered inside me; the eagerness. I hadn't seen him look like that in a long time when it came to his career.
"Okay," I slowly agreed. "Let's look at it. Together."