Chapter 7 Hollis
Iwon’t admit it, but Benjamin putting me to bed was much needed. My head is clearer, though the headache at my temples disagrees, but that’s more due to lack of food and caffeine than anything.
A quick shower and change of clothes later, and I’m heading down to the kitchen for a coffee, since Benjamin didn’t let me finish mine earlier.
I want to be annoyed, but I know he was coming from a place of concern.
Even if it’s irritating to know he’s capable of making sure I’m okay while ignoring his so-called best friend on a normal basis.
But that’s an issue to worry about later, along with the conversation we need to have regarding his relationship with Tennant.
Tugging at the sleeves of my shirt, I resist the urge to shove them up my arms. With my quick in and out, not wanting to linger in our bedroom for long, the shirt I grabbed in my haste isn’t even mine, it's Jude’s.
The looser material around my wrists is bothersome, and I wonder why I'm bothering to let the sleeves sit awkwardly on me, but the idea of exposing my scars… Too many people have already seen them, or could have guessed what was underneath my bandages, but that doesn’t mean I want to display my vulnerable parts to everyone. So, I leave the shirt alone.
In the kitchen, I am handed a plate of food, while Roman’s kitchen staff stare me down, stepping in the path of the coffee maker.
Grumbling, I accept the food, and even take a few bites before I’m rewarded with coffee.
I'm going to have to see about getting a coffee maker in the office. Tennant will sigh, and try to impose rules, but it’s worth it to avoid the not-so-subtle bullying from the kitchen staff.
Though maybe Emilio will share his with me. He’s the only one around here who actually appreciates the need for coffee above all else.
When I’ve satisfied the kitchen staff and eaten most of the food—though I couldn’t say what exactly I put in my mouth, my thoughts already focused on everything I have to do—I’m able to leave, fresh coffee in hand.
The hours spent in bed might have helped clear my head and sharpened my focus, not that it’s not still a battle to keep my eyes open, but that doesn’t mean they were a good thing. Not when there’s so much that needs doing.
As I get closer to the office Leandro and I share, my mind is already whirling.
The list of properties we’ve compiled for both Senator and Cecily Dowing isn’t extensive, but it’s still a lot of ground to cover.
Without knowing where Roman and Lio were taken, it first needs to be a task of narrowing things down before we can send anyone in.
The last thing we need is to be too spread out and easily taken down because we didn’t put enough time or research into finding where they’re being held.
Leandro doesn’t bother glancing at me when I enter the office, his focus on his monitor. I don’t have to ask what he’s been doing in the time I was away, because he shares it as soon as I sit down.
As complicated as the boy makes everything outside of these four walls, he’s the easiest person I’ve ever had to work with.
As in sync as H and I can be, there’s something inherently magic about the way Leandro can anticipate my needs.
I shouldn’t be so surprised. It’s in his nature to be observant, and to make himself into whatever version is needed in order to blend in, but that still doesn’t mean it’s not impressive.
His skills have more to do with how smart and talented he is, rather than his mimicry.
Catching up to speed is a slow process, as I not only have Leandro’s work and notes to go over, but everything my automations have been pulling as well. I'm halfway through reading a report Leandro put together on the Senator when there’s a notification in my inbox.
What gets me to pause my task is the type of notification it is. It's not my regular one that everyone in the Family uses, and not the secure one I have set up for H… But the one connected to my darkweb presence.
The only reason that’s still active is because I sometimes take on the occasional assignment.
The Family might keep me busy, but when we don’t have senators and their daughters on our asses, things can be slow and dull, so breaking up the day with whatever mundane research or hacking job I can, keeps not only my skills sharp, but saves me from boredom.
“You expecting anything?” I ask Leandro.
“No. H is looking into both the Senator and his daughter through his contacts, but he knows to get in touch with me directly with his findings.”
I hum in response and share my screen with him as I read the note attached to the video.
Monsters can only hide their true colors for so long… Every dirty secret will be exposed soon enough.
A fissure of fear and anxiety shoots through me as I hit play, unable to hide my intake of breath when the video shows Roman and Lio in a cell. They’re chained, with just enough slack they can touch one another.
A lump forms in my throat as I watch them try to comfort each other, and then the door to the cell opens. Cecily Dowing walks into the room with her two goons, and the anxiety running through me makes me lightheaded as she gives Lio an impossible choice.
“No…” I say to myself. “No, Baby…”
Roman tries to fight, to plead and beg, but Emilio proves his heart is bigger than most would give him credit for, as he allows himself to be taken out of the cell. The video shows Roman breaking down, curling into a ball as much as possible and sobbing.
“Hol…” Leandro says, just loud enough to get through the violent tumbling of my mind as flashes and images that refuse to stay buried collide with what’s happening on screen.
“No,” I tell him without looking away from my monitor. “I need…I need to do this.”
On screen, a young man is tied to a bed, and when the door to the room opens and Emilio walks in, a sickening twist to my stomach threatens to bring up the food I’d recently eaten.
“You don’t need to do this.”
I shake my head as Lio places a hand on his chest before the asshole in the room with him snaps and he drops it.
“You’ll take me. You don’t have any other option,” he tells the boy on the bed.
It’s his voice, but…not. There’s pain there, laced with desire, and I know from his actions and reactions that he doesn’t want to be there.
The view isn’t the best—whoever set up the camera must have been an amateur—but I can clearly see the erection straining my Boy’s pants.
Tears burn my eyes, and I have to take a few breaths as I remove my glasses to wipe them.
Still, I keep watching. Through every moment in which Lio preps the boy for his cock, every hesitation, every pleading word from the boy on the bed…
and every thrust of my Puppy’s cock when he finally sinks into the sobbing young man.
I’m barely able to push my chair back and reach for the small trash can under the desk before I’m vomiting into it. The acid burns my throat and I cough, fluid running out of my nose as well, as I dry heave a few times.
The sounds of the boy’s sobs…the sight of my Puppy thrusting into him…
the feel of dry, rough, and cold hands on my skin…
Emilio’s careful ministrations as he tries not to hurt the boy he’s forced to use…
a soft, clean dick being pressed between my lips, my vision blurring due to tears as I take it into my mouth for the first time ever…
the boy’s pleas and cries…being locked in a small, cold room for days on end, for an infraction that I’m not even sure is real…
The past and present blur together, and my entire being feels as if I’m being torn apart.
I swear, my scars burn, and I drop the trash can to shove at my sleeve, desperate to touch the rough skin. The scars that are no longer fresh, but are still raised and ugly because they’re new.
Lio’s resistance, his hesitation, his hard cock…none of that adds up, but it’s impossible not to see how turned on he was as he took that boy for himself. My poor Emilio…what did they do to you?
The human body is a lot of things, and most of its functions are involuntary, but I know Lio, I know his heart… As appealing as a hot, tight naked body might be…there’s no way he would have been able to get hard under those circumstances.
Mr. Thommilson kisses me. My second ever kiss.
His lips are dry and cold, though his tongue is warm, and I welcome it, too nervous and terrified to disobey.
He’s told me stories for weeks now, of the type of man he is, of what he liked to do to his precious “dolls”.
.. He might be old, and way past his prime now, but I know better than to underestimate him.
“You’re so sweet, Dayton,” he whispers. “I can’t wait to make you mine.” He presses against me, his cock hard against my hip. I whimper when he presses our mouths together again, and that seems to spur him on, as he kisses me harder.
I know the type of people who get off on the unwilling.
And that isn’t Lio. The beautiful, broken boy who trusts me to love him, the vulnerable Puppy who wants affection and to be put in his place all at once, and the young, sweet man who calls me Angel and Tennant Daddy…
Nothing about him has the makings of that type of person. Not after everything he’s been through.
Lio takes the boy’s cock into his mouth as he fingers him. The cries turn to moans and gasps and I shake so hard I tumble out of my chair, scrambling for the trash can once more.
Gerald Bradley gives me a new hand mixer, and then bends me over the kitchen counter as payment for his generous gift.
Sobbing, I close my eyes, as if that will shut off the images and memories. My nightmares have come back to life, and this time…they might win.
Pain…sweet pain courses through me. My nails digging into the still-raised scars on my wrist bring me relief.
Emilio fucks into the boy under him, his need clear in every movement, even if his words say the opposite. My heart breaks at the thought of what he was forced to do, the impossible choice he had to make.
He’ll need me…
Will he though? Will he need a broken Owner? One who can’t even suffer with him without breaking down?
You’ll fail him. You’re not good enough to help him through this, because you can’t even handle your own pain. He’ll suffer because you’re not strong enough.
Getting my knife out is hard because of the way I’m curled over, but I manage. The blade cuts into my skin the same way Gerald cut into my sense of self all those years ago.
My poor Lio…poor Roman. At least, they have each other to work through this.
I cut deeper into my skin, but suddenly, I’m stopped. Hands, strong and firm and unforgiving, grab both of mine.
I’m forced to release the knife, lest I cut him. For several long moments, we stay like that, my hands in his, until I’m finally able to blink away the tears and look into Jude’s pale green eyes.
“It’s okay, Hol,” he says. “You’ll be okay.”
I shake my head. “No…” I have no idea if I actually say the word or not. “I…can’t… Lio…”
“It’s okay, Tesoro Mio. I have you now.”
He urges me up, and concern flashes through me as he stumbles, pain crossing his face for a moment. But he ignores it, and wraps an arm around me, holding me close. “I got you. Let’s go upstairs.”
“I need…I need to alert Carter and the other Seconds. I need t—to tell Tennant. There’s so much to be done. Tracking the source of the video, calling H… I can’t.”
Jude places a finger over my mouth and stares at me as if I’m one of his Boys. My mind is too tired and battered to do anything but fall into his dominance, allowing him to take control.
“You need rest. You need to get your arm cleaned, and you need something more than caffeine in your stomach. Doc is two seconds away from sedating you—”
I shake my head. “No…no drugs, please.”
“Then you’ll listen and let me take care of you.”
I tremble under the weight of his care, because I know I don’t deserve it. Still, I agree. “Okay.”
Slowly, carefully, he leads me from the office.
I can’t help but notice the hitch in his step, the way he puts most of his weight on his good leg, telling me he’s been pushing himself too hard lately.
Guilt bubbles inside me, and I hate that I haven’t noticed how hard he’s taking this. What a useless partner I am…
Jude leads me upstairs, not to our bedroom, but to the one he shares with Antonio and the twins. I try to resist, but he doesn’t give me a choice, strong-arming me into the room.
He strips us both and puts me into bed, holding me close for what feels like forever as I break apart in his arms.
Everything is so backwards and upside down, I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again. I know Emilio won’t, and that thought breaks me apart all over again. No one should ever know that type of pain, especially not someone as sweet as my Puppy.
“Shhh. It’ll be okay, Hol,” Jude whispers. “It’ll be okay. We’ll find them, and we’ll help them. None of you are alone.”
I want so badly to believe him, but…maybe it’s a good thing Allesandro gets to live.
He and Tennant can take care of my Boy. They can save him from a lifetime of pain in ways I never could, because as strong as I pretend to be, I am still Dayton, the seventeen-year-old boy who learned how to take a cock whether he wanted to or not.
I was turned into someone—something—less than human, and I don’t want that for my Emilio, or for Roman, but I don’t know how to be Hollis. Not now. Not when it so easily could have been me on that bed…
“We’ll find them, and you’ll all be okay,” Jude says again, holding me tighter.
Closing my eyes, I bury my face into him, guilt running through me as he holds me together, but I'm unable to stop myself. I don’t deserve his comfort, not when Roman and Lio are hurting so badly, but I’m selfish enough to soak it up anyway.
The riot of thoughts in my head never slows down, even as my eyes refuse to open again, and my trembling stops.
The emotional shitstorm drags me into darkness bit by bit.
The one last stray thought I have is: maybe the darkness will swallow me up forever, and this crushing pain will go away for good.