Chapter 32 Cristian
Doc is waiting for Dr. Ranlen and I in the foyer of the O’Connel house. Or is it Council house? Either way, the two of us have a welcoming party.
Doc sweeps his gaze over me, dismissing me when he doesn’t see any visible wounds. I’m sure he’s already aware of the…parting gift Dr. Ranlen left behind when she was checking the wounds Roman left on me the last time we met.
“I see he’s still in one piece,” Doc says cooly.
“I promised he would be. It was hard to hold myself back. I'm not going to lie, I haven’t seen any action in way too long.” She sniffs and Doc chuckles.
“Well, I don’t have anyone for you to torture—at least, not in that way—but Benjamin is taking his sweet time to come around from the sedatives, and I’m tired of babysitting him, so he’s your problem now. Congrats.”
Dr. Ranlen sighs. “Alright, give me his chart and I’ll take over.”
Doc turns to escort his fellow doctor, but stops and sighs. “There’s a room for you. I told Carter I’d be fine escorting you to it.”
“Am I a prisoner?” I ask mildly, irritation bubbling up.
“No, but I’m tired, and I don’t feel like babysitting you.” There’s a bite to Doc’s words, more than his usual caustic tone.
A pang goes through me as I stare at my friend…
or is it former friend? Fuck, I don’t know anymore, and I dislike the uncertainty.
Since I saved him from being beaten to death simply because of his circumstance of birth, Doc and I have been close.
He knows me, and doesn’t judge me for my faults.
We trust and understand each other. Or we did… and then I fucked it all up.
Shit.
I’m going to have to fix things with him—with Ten, too. But first…
“Where’s Carter? I’d like to speak with him.”
Doc stiffens, his expression darkening. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”
I scowl. Since when does Doc care about Carter?
They’re cordial, yes, and I know Doc was happy that I was, but those two never were friends.
Mostly, because they had no reason to be in the same space often.
Not like when Doc first came to us, and the three of us—Doc, Ten, and I—plotted how to make the Family ours.
So Doc’s sudden protection of Carter is…it worries me. I know I fucked things up with him, but not that badly. Not so completely that my closest friend thinks he needs to keep my husband from me…
“Please, Doc. I know he was hurt. I…I need to see my husband.”
Doc’s amber eyes darken and his mouth thins. “If he tries to kill you, I’m not patching you up.”
Dr. Ranlen snorts. “I’d be more worried about my brother killing him.”
Doc laughs. “I’m counting on that.”
“I’m still standing here.”
Doc rolls his eyes and gestures. “Come with me.”
He leads us through the house, to what I’m assuming is the medical area.
It’s similar to the Martelli house in that there are several rooms. It's a far cry from the single office he had at the old Amato house. Part of me feels bad for not giving him what he needed sooner, while the other side argues he had his own fucking clinic, so he didn’t need multiple rooms for patients.
It’s a weak argument, but it’s all I have.
Doc knocks on a closed door before pushing it open. “There’s someone here to see you, if you feel up for it?”
“It’s fine, Doc.”
I have to lock my knees at the sound of my husband’s voice. It hasn’t been that long since I last saw him, but fuck…it’s the longest we’ve been away from each other.
Even when the truth of who he was came out, I saw him every single day of his torture.
I feel like I did the day my son was born: nervous and out of my depth, unsure if I’m ready for what lies on the other side of the threshold.
Taking a deep breath, holding my head high and pulling on my years of being Boss, I stride into the room.
The sight of Carter sitting in a hospital bed, with fucking Keegan in the chair next to him, holding his hand like it’s the thing to do, almost takes me to my knees.
Seeing another man’s hands on my husband…
it’s a blow like none I’ve ever felt before.
I’ve been shot, stabbed, had my son stolen from me, and been betrayed by the man I loved…
yet this…it cuts deep into my already bleeding heart.
“Cristian,” Carter says stiffly, with no warmth in his tone. His navy eyes are hard, but there’s a fissure in them as well. It's an emotion I can’t name, but that gives me hope that not all is lost.
“I’d like to talk to you…privately.” I glance at Keegan, who clenches his jaw and looks less than thrilled to see me. His gray eyes are a match to his sister’s when angry—an expression I became very familiar with over the last few days.
“Cris…”
“Please, Caro. It’s important.”
Carter sucks in a breath and closes his eyes for a moment before nodding. Looking to the man at his side, he says, “Please, give us a minute?”
Keegan looks down, the muscle in his jaw moving as I’m sure he grinds his teeth. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I need to. Please, Tesoro.”
Keegan sighs and looks at Carter, his expression softening. “Okay. I’ll be right outside, call for me if you need to, Love.”
Carter smiles softly and reaches for his face, cupping his cheek and leaning over to kiss him.
My heart clenches and I ball my hands into fists.
Doc glances at me, the warning clear in his eyes when I meet his hard gaze.
As much as I want to pull the asshole away from my husband, I don’t.
The last thing I need is for Dr. Ranlen to threaten me with her scalpels—again—because I put her brother in his rightful place.
Keegan gives Carter a long, loving look before finally standing and meeting my eyes. There’s a promise of death in those intense gray eyes of his. If this were any other situation, I would appreciate that he’s so protective over Carter, but…I can’t be. Not now.
“If you hurt yourself further, I will withhold the good drugs,” Doc tells Carter before he ushers Keegan out of the room.
Once the door closes, Carter and I stare at each other, the tension between us thick and choking.
“I don’t know what’s left to say.” Carter looks down at his hands, twisting them together. “I think we both said everything we needed to.”
“No.” Taking a step forward, I fight to hold myself back. “You gave me your ring, talked about our son, but not about us. Giving me your ring tells me that we have things to work on.”
Carter lets out a stuttering breath, and looks up at me with eyes full of tears. “I wasn’t sure what I wanted when I did that…but now… Now, I do.”
I sneer. “Them. You’re leaving me for them.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I…this thing between us is new. We were just friends when you and I first separated. But somewhere along the way, they became so much more. I love them. I love their son. I want to see where it goes. This family we’re building…it means something to me.”
“Our family meant something to you,” I spit. “Or did you forget that? Are you throwing away a decade of us because of one fight? For two people you’re saying you barely know?”
“No!” he snaps, his tone going cold, as his tears dry up. Shaking his head, he mutters, “You’re such an asshole. So defensive when things don’t go your way. I ignored it when I shouldn’t have all those years, and that’s on me, but dammit, Cristian, this isn’t easy for me.”
“It sure as fuck seems like it is, Carter.”
Shoving his blankets aside, Carter sits up and gets out of bed. He’s slow to get to his feet, and my first instinct is to help him. When I move though, he glares at me, as if daring me to take another step.
Carter stands to his full height, though he grimaces as he does.
Regret rushes through me at making him feel as if he has to defend himself from me.
He moves around the bed to stand in front of me, his eyes shining with a multitude of emotions.
Pain, heartbreak, anger…it’s all there for me to see in his endless dark blue eyes.
“I loved you,” he says quietly. “I loved you for years. I thought you were my forever. You and Roman…you were the family I always wanted. I knew I was gay from a young age. My mother…she was a lot of wonderful things, but tolerant was not one of them. I wanted to prove her wrong, to show her that I could have a family.” He laughs quietly.
“I showed her, didn’t I? I got married, raised a teenager, and did a whole lot of other things she didn’t agree with.
I’m a Boss of something that is…revolutionary.
I’m the father to an amazing man, and while my marriage went to shit, I got a second chance at love. ”
I swallow and reach for him. I can’t help it.
I need to touch him. He doesn’t pull back, or knock my hand away, so I take his and hold on tight.
“Please…Amore Mio. I love you. I know what I said was wrong. I tried to hurt you in the same way I was hurting, but Carter…I know you’re a good father.
Roman wouldn’t be who he is without you.
I’m so fucking sorry, Amore. I hurt you in the worst of ways.
I am weak. I am everything my uncle accused me of being.
Not because I’m gay, or that I love my son, but because I was so sure I was right…
I was so determined to not become him, to not admit that I was hurting, and I ended up destroying the best thing that ever happened to me. ”
“It wasn’t just what you said about me not being Roman’s parent.” He takes another deep breath, squeezing my hand in his. “Yes, that’s what started it, but I would have gotten over that eventually. But Cris…it’s what you said about me not being cut out to be a Boss.”
“Carter—”