Chapter 3
Freddie
“A sex blog?”
“What’s with the face?” I ask my best friend. My admission causes his face to scrunch up, as if I’d just told him I’d caught the latest STI.
“It’s just… well, when you said you were interested, I thought you meant the same as what I do”, Benji says to me as he grabs another handful of grapes from the box that lies between us on the purple tartan blanket.
The crown shyness of the trees above us lets sparkling summer sunshine through as we lie side by side chatting about my hopes surrounding my alternative career path. Goodbye pastry, hello cake sitting kinks.
“Well, it is technically still sex work. I’d be interviewing sex workers, trying new toys, and even visiting sex clubs and events, as well as education platforms. How is that not sex work?”
“Well, just because you said sex like twelve times doesn’t really make it so, Fee.”
“Oh, fuck up. Yes, it does. You’re just jealous because I’m more intelligent than you and came up with it all on my own,” I say smugly, sticking my tongue out at him as I steal a grape from his hand.
He smacks at me but ends up just spilling the rest of the grapes. Idiot. I snort at his clumsiness, then watch as his smile grows until he’s showing me all his teeth. Shit, I know that look. He launches himself at me to tickle my most sensitive parts.
“Oof, get off, you big hefalump!” I yell in between laughs as his feral self flattens me on my back and threatens to cut off my air supply. I smack his sides and pinch his hips until he relents.
“Okay… so… th-the blog. God, I need a second,” he pants as he rolls off me to sit up.
I check over my hoodie for stray pieces of grass while he catches his breath, also gathering the stray grapes up before one of us rolls over and squashes them into the blanket.
“Look, I’m actually buzzing about this! I hope you’ll support it. Be my first subscriber and all,” I charmingly say as I sling an arm over his broad shoulders.
“Of course I will. I’ll even show it to my clients.
Word of mouth and all that,” he smiles encouragingly, and I want in this moment to cry with happiness.
Benji is my platonic soulmate and the best person I’ve ever met.
I swallow the lump that sits threateningly in my throat and nod before clearing it away with a cough.
“Well, I know words aren’t the only thing your mouth is good at,” I tease, wiggling my eyebrows at him.
“You geek, can’t you go five minutes without a joke regarding my amazing blowjob skills?” He giggles along with me as we clear up our rubbish to get ready to leave.
“I’ll blog about it. Get you some new clients,” I wink as I fold up the blanket and put it back in the Tesco bag I’d brought it in.
“Ha! I can get my own, thank you very much, but I’ll never say no to a feature.”
“Deal!” I shout, fisting the air for dramatic effect.
“Right, let’s go before we get caught. Don’t want the police riding our arses for catching us up here,” Benji says with a look of worry on his brow, his eyes darting around the thick copse of trees we have been hanging out in.
“The police? Why the fuck would they care if they saw us at the top of a country park?”
I look around, and there’s no soul about.
Not even a bird or a stray cat roaming the trees that surround us.
Despite the glorious day, which is rare in Scotland, even in the summer months, no one was around kicking a ball or cycling.
The place was deserted because of the lockdown. Just like everywhere else.
“Well, I don’t know. I thought they were after anyone who left their house?”
“Benji, you loon! That’s only if we have Covid or having a mad party with loads of people or something,” I laugh as we walk back to our bikes that are locked down at the gravel car park.
“Oh. Oh, right? Well then, I don’t feel as guilty now,” he whispers, looking more than a bit embarrassed.
“Come on, Benj-O, don’t be embarrassed. It’s all that sex that’s made you stupid. And who cares about that when you’re that well-skilled and satisfied, oh, and loaded as a result?” I praise.
He turns to look at me, a small curve on his lips. I know him well enough to know that my praise has had the right effect on him.
“I still think blowing guys is easier than writing a blog, but each to their own,” he admits with a cheeky smirk.
We laugh as Benji dives into some of the more colourful parts of his job while we make our way back out of the car park and home in opposite directions.