Chapter Fifteen #2
But I can’t deny the quiet thrill racing through me at the knowledge that they haven’t given up on me.
At least I still have a family, even if it isn’t for much longer.
I want to sit across from them, surrounded by the warmth and light of the fire, share sandwiches, and tell stories.
I want to show them Mason in the early-morning light, when the sun hits his face, bringing out the flecks of blue in his eyes.
I want so badly to make them see it all through my eyes.
And how will you do that? Are you going to have Mason save them from his enemies? Or bandage up their knees? Neither of those will work.
“Please,” I add. “After everything, you should at least hear me out.”
With a sigh, my mother wanders over to one of the armchairs and lowers herself into it.
She sets her purse in her lap and clutches it tightly.
Her eyes are wide as she looks around the office, taking in the embossed hardcover books and the Persian rug beneath her feet. Then, she offers me a tight smile.
After a long pause, my father sinks into the chair opposite her.
“He’s calm now,” I tell Mason. “Nothing will happen.”
“London…”
“Please.” I wait for him to look at me and muster a reassuring smile. “They won’t hurt me. You know that.”
Mason releases my hand.
“I’m going to see about some food,” he announces loudly. “Katia is outside.”
With one last look at me, Mason crosses over to the door and leaves the room. I walk across the room and lower myself onto the carpet between them. Then, I take their hands in mine and ignore the thumping in my chest.
“I know none of this is easy for you to hear,” I begin. “It means a lot to me that you came, but I’m still not going to leave. I don’t want the same things anymore.”
“London—”
“I love him, Mom,” I interrupt. “I know it doesn’t make sense, and I know you have your opinions about that, but I won’t hide it from you anymore. I don’t want to run from it anymore.”
“You can’t be in love with a man like him,” my father says hoarsely. “My God, what kind of life can he even offer you? One where you have to live in a world full of violence and darkness?”
I nod. “Yes. He’s never lied to me about who he is, or what he does, and somehow… it doesn’t matter to me. I know it should.”
My mother reaches for my hands. Hers feel warm and familiar against mine, and her expression turns solemn. “I was afraid of this.”
I look into her eyes. “Me, too.”
Slowly, she withdraws her hands and runs a hand through her hair. “There’s nothing else for us to do, then.”
My father rises and begins to pace. “I refuse to accept this. The diner was starting to do well. You and Noah had a whole future ahead of you. This can’t be it.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.” I will him to look at me, my heart breaking a little more with each word from his lips. “I don’t want to disappoint either of you, but I’m glad you came. At least we finally had the chance to talk.”
“And what about the danger he’s put you in?” my dad presses. “The danger we’ll be in because all of… this?”
Unease courses through me. “I’m doing what I can to make sure you’re safe, and so is Mason.”
My father hangs his head.
In silence, my mom rises to her feet and takes his hand in hers before they turn to face me. The silence is thicker and more oppressive than ever.
Finally, slowly, my mom leads him to the door.
It flies open again before they reach it, and Mason appears, his hair in tufts atop his head, and his face a cool, indecipherable mask. He glances around and then steps aside, allowing them to exit. I remain glued to the spot.
I’m desperate for them to turn around and say something, but they don't.
Nothing they say will repair what’s been broken.
Each step they take away from me makes it harder to breathe.
They disappear down the hallway as Katia hurries after them, and my knees give out. I claw at my throat and my chest and rock back and forth. Suddenly, Mason’s arms are around me and stroking my back as he murmurs. I lean into his touch as the tears pour freely now, and a sob falls from my lips.
“Fuck.” Mason’s hands are on my face and in my hair. “Tell me what to do. Tell me how I can make this better.”
“You can’t,” I whisper. “No one can.”
Mason draws me to him, and his back settles against the nearest armchair. “It doesn’t mean I won’t try. There’s got to be something I can do. I can have Katia bring them back. They can stay in the manor while the three of you sort this out.”
I stare at Mason through tear-filled eyes. “Your father will never allow that.”
Mason’s grip tightens, and he lowers his head to look at me. “He can go fuck himself. They’re your family. Even I can admit that their coming here is a big thing.”
I hear past the thundering in my chest. “I know it was hard for you not to react to that.”
“They’re your parents,” Mason says. “It went against my instincts, and it wasn’t easy, but I just thought of you.”
I use the back of my hand to wipe my tears and press my head against his chest. “Thank you.”
Mason’s hands are in my hair again, kneading my scalp this time. “You don’t need to thank me for that. Tell me what to do.”
I draw back to look at him and sniffle. “Did you go and find them food?”
Mason’s eyes search my face. “No, I was just pacing the halls to try and give you all some space.”
I shake my head and reach for his hand. After lacing my fingers through his, I bring his hand up to my lips and kiss each knuckle. “I don’t regret my decision, Mason. I need you to know that.”