Chapter Fifteen #3
Mason’s expression softens. “Okay.”
My eyes sweep over his face. “Do you believe me?”
He nods. “I do.”
“Good, then just hold me. Let’s sit like this for a while.”
Mason nods and pulls me onto his lap. Little by little, my sobs quiet, and I relax against Mason, drained and spent. A bone-deep exhaustion settles around me as I watch the flames of the fire dance.
They cast long shadows across the walls, lulling us into silence.
“I need to tell you something,” I say finally.
Mason doesn’t say anything.
“I want to tell you why I’ve been sneaking out in those disguises,” I begin, drawing back to look at him. “But I can’t tell you just yet. I’m sorry that I can’t. It’s not because I don’t want to…”
I suck in a harsh breath. “There is something else that I’ve been wanting to tell you. It’s about my trip to the clinic the other day.”
Mason stares at me. “When you were sick?”
I nod. “Yes. I’m not sick. Well, not that kind of sickness…”
Mason blinks. “I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t plan any of this,” I say, before climbing out of his lap and rising to my feet. “Sure, I want a family of my own, but we haven’t talked about that, and I don’t even know how that would work with… everything.”
Mason frowns and folds his arms over his chest. “London, what are you trying to tell me?”
My mouth moves soundlessly, but the words still won’t come.
Just do it, for heaven’s sake. Spit it out. Get it over with. Whatever happens, at least you’ll deal with it together.
“I’m pregnant.” The words settle around us like lead.
Mason stiffens, and his expression goes slack.
“What did you just say?”
“I’m—”
Mason takes two steps back. “I heard you the first time. I just… fuck… are you sure?”
“Yes. I took a pregnancy test, and I did a blood test.”
Mason scowls and rakes a hand through his hair. “Did Doctor Shepard do a blood test?”
“Yes.”
Mason steps past me and begins to pace, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. “Is it… are they… is it viable?”
“Yes.”
I’ve never seen Mason so agitated, pacing like a caged animal.
Look at me, Mason. Stop and look at me. I’m right here.
Suddenly, Mason stops pacing and stares as if he’s seeing me for the first time. “Is it too late to take care of it?”
His words are a dagger to my heart, but I shouldn’t have expected anything less.
He’s Mason Payne, ruthless mobster and head of his family’s empire.
Having a baby isn’t the future he envisioned for himself.
“No,” I reply quietly. “There’s still time, but it doesn’t matter. I should’ve told you sooner, but everything has changed for me.”
Mason goes still, and a muscle ticks in his jaw. “You are not going to keep this baby.”
“I am.”
“Fucking hell, London. You can’t just drop a goddamn bomb like that and immediately expect me to wrap my head around it. You… this isn’t a world a baby should grow up in. Believe me, I would know.”
I unclasp my fingers. “Do you think I don’t know that? I’ve spent the past ten days reminding myself of all the reasons why this is a bad idea, and I even told myself it was for the best, but when the time came, I couldn’t do it.”
Mason throws his hands in the air. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Do you have any idea how much worse you’ve made things?”
“I have an idea.”
“You have an idea?” Mason’s voice climbs in anger. “You have no fucking idea! I’m trying to keep us safe. Do you know what happens if our enemies win?”
“Mason—”
“There won’t be a corner on this earth where we’ll be safe,” Mason interrupts. “None of us. Not you, not me, not my siblings or my father, or your parents. Hell, even Noah would be fair game.”
“Mason—”
“I’m having Katia bring Doctor Shepard in. If I can’t make you see reason, maybe he can.”
“Mason—”
He places one hand on either side of my face. His eyes are dark and full of emotion when they bore into mine. “I can’t lose you. Not like this.”
My arms come up to cup the back of his neck. “You will not lose me. I’ll be fine. Women give birth all the time. This baby—our baby—and I… we’re going to be fine.”
Mason drops his hands. “No.”
“What do you mean, no? It’s my decision.”
“Like hell it is.” Spittle flies from Mason’s mouth as he snarls. “It’s my decision, too, and you should’ve told me.”
I wince. “I know, and I’m sorry. With everything else going on, I thought it would be better if I waited, and then it got harder and harder.”
Mason turns his back on me, his posture rigid.
I approach him and wrap my arms around his waist. “Let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Mason steps out of my embrace. “You’ve made it clear that no one else’s opinion matters.”
“That’s not true. Mason, I…”
He shakes his head, yanks the door open and slams it behind him. My hands fly to my mouth. Then, I sink back to my knees and wait for the tears to come.
When Olivia finds me a short while later and helps me to the chair, I’m numb.
Katia steps into the office, and together, they lead me to the manor.
I feel nothing when Olivia leads me into Mason’s room, pulls back the covers, and tucks them around me.
What the hell have I done?