23. Emily
The voices of men shouting and car doors opening and shutting flow through my open window. I watch as they move in an orderly fashion to unload the weapons and help the doctors take the wounded to the lower-level hospital we have on the estate.
When I spotted Liam, Declan, and Rhys stepping out of their SUVs, I released the breath I had held since they left. They were covered in blood, their hair disheveled, and their faces showed signs of their underlying fatigue. But knowing they were unharmed and alive made it so much easier to handle the chaos.
I know better than to go down there and check on them right now, so I watch them from my window.
After my ma was finished barking her own orders, she retreated to her room and hasn’t emerged since. When I had gone to check on her, she was curled up on the bed, lying on my father’s side. My heart ached at the sight. I can’t even imagine the pain she must be feeling.
I silently laid with her for a while, just holding her as she cried.
What do you say to someone who just lost the love of their life?
I can offer nothing to provide any comfort besides my company. Once she had fallen into an exhausted slumber, I slipped out of bed and waited for the men’s return.
I’m still wearing the dress from the banquet and am still covered in blood. I couldn’t find the strength to wash away the reminders of what happened today. It felt wrong to erase the evidence of what Vladimir’s men did until Declan returned with their blood on his skin.
Now that I’ve seen proof of their retaliation, I decide it’s time to wash away the day.
I step into the ensuite and see my rumpled appearance. My reddened cheek is still tender from where the man’s hand struck me. Dried blood is splattered across my face and my hair is in knots.
With an exhausted sigh, I slide the straps of my dress off my shoulders. The material bunches at my feet and I step out of it. Stripping the rest of my clothes, I walk to the walk-in shower and turn on the water.
My muscles begin to relax at the feel of the scalding water sliding down my body. I stand for several minutes, blocking out the outside world, and enjoying the sound of the water droplets pattering against the tile.
I’m still struggling to comprehend that my father is truly gone. I won’t ever get to see him again. Declan will be the leader now.
How will that change him?
Will he force an arranged marriage on me?
“Ugh.” I let out a low, frustrated groan and then pull the shampoo bottle from the built-in shelf. The fruity scent envelops me when I squeeze the liquid into my palm and create a lather. After I’ve massaged it into my hair, I tip my hair back and rinse out the suds. I then squeeze a generous amount of conditioner into my palms and then comb that through my hair with my fingers.
My favorite body wash is scented similar to my hair products, and I breathe in the familiar scent of berries. After rinsing myself off, I turn the knob to shut off the water and then grab a plush towel from the hook just outside of the shower.
Wrapping it around my body, I grab another and knot it around my hair before making my way to the walk-in closet.
Despite not living here for a month, a large number of my things remained so I choose a set of matching forest green sleep shorts and a tank to wear to bed.
I struggle to collect my thoughts as I lather myself with body lotion and then follow with my skincare routine. My movements are muscle memory and I’m not even sure I’ve blinked since exiting the shower.
A soft knock brings me back to reality.
“Come in,” I say as I put my things away in their respective spots.
Declan steps into my room. His steps are muted by the plush carpet. Exhaustion is etched on every surface of his face.
I quickly make my way over to him, but he holds up his hands before I get a chance to hug him.
“I’m filthy, Em. I just wanted to come in and check on you and ma.”
“I’m okay… I think. Ma is sleeping but she cried for a while.”
He nods in understanding and then sighs, combing his fingers through his sweaty strands.
“I’ll be meeting with the organization and our allies in the coming weeks. We need to discuss my transition to leadership,” his eyes pivot between mine for a moment.
“I don’t want you anywhere near my office when they’re here.”
I furrow my brows and tilt my head. “Why?”
“Right now, everyone is going to be circling around, waiting for me to fuck something up, or a weakness so they can take over. You and ma are that weakness.”
A chill travels down my spine and I can’t repress the shudder that escapes.
“O-okay,” I stutter.
Declan steps closer and cups the nape of my neck before bringing his forehead to mine.
“We’re going to be okay, but right now, I need you to stay hidden as much as possible until I show them who they answer to.”
I nod against his sticky skin and release a sigh.
He pulls his head away from mine and stares at me for a moment. When he opens his mouth, another knock interrupts whatever he was planning to say.
Rhys walks in and pulls me into his arms. The smell of sweat, dirt, and blood fills my voice and I cringe.
“I just showered,” I grumble.
He chuckles but the amusement doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Anything to report?” Declan asks, pulling Rhys’s attention from me.
“Liam is in surgery as we speak. The bullet nicked his artery but wasn’t too severe.”
I go rigid.
“Liam was hurt?”
Rhys looks into my eyes with an odd expression I can’t read before nodding and returning his gaze to Declan.
“He was shot in the leg and lost a lot of blood but he’s fine,” Declan says from behind me.
“He’ll be up and moving in no time,” Rhys adds.
The desire to go to Liam’s side is almost uncontrollable. I want to see him with my own eyes and ensure he’s truly okay. I know I can trust Declan and Rhys but the fear of not laying eyes on him outweighs that logic.
“Get some rest, it’s been a hard day for all of us.” Declan finally pulls me into his arms and kisses my temple. Rhys does the same, and they both leave me standing in the center of my room.
Do I go see him?
Will he even want me to?
With a huff, I toss myself onto my mattress and land on my back.
“Why did you have to make me fall for someone that doesn’t even want me?” I say to whatever God will listen.
Of course, there is no answer.
After what feels like forever, I decide it’s best if I don’t go and see him.
It’s best if I truly accept that he doesn’t want anything to do with me.
I just need to convince my heart to accept it.