36. Emily
It’s hot. Why is it so hot? I shift, trying to push the blankets off my body, but there are none. I shift again and hit something hard. My eyes fly open, and I sit up. My heart gallops in my chest, my throat closes, and tears instantly fill my vision.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s me.” Liam’s raspy voice fills my ears. Turning to my right, I see him sitting shirtless in my bed.
What the hell?
“Wh-what are you doing here?” I pant. My eyes drift down his chest and stop when I see a butterfly tattoo over his heart. My brows furrow and I raise my confused gaze to his eyes.
“What is that?” I gesture to the tattoo.
“You.” He says softly.
“I don’t understand.” I shake my head.
I pull away when he reaches for me. “Liam, what are you doing in my room? In my bed?”
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I came to see you last night and you were nearly comatose from whatever shite you took.”
I scoff and roll my eyes. “That doesn’t explain why you’re in my bed.” Anger begins to simmer in my blood.
“I wasn’t goin’ to bloody leave you in here alone and risk you choking on your own vomit or some shite like that.”
My face contorts and I climb out of bed to put distance between us. My eyes involuntarily flick to the ensuite where my promise of an escape sits in bottles under the sink. Liam follows my gaze, and he pushes the blankets off himself.
His black boxer-briefs outline his morning erection and I avert my eyes before he notices my stare.
I internally groan in annoyance that I even looked.
He stomps to the bathroom and rips open the cabinet. He takes out my medication basket and the box I keep hidden in the back.
“What are you doing?!” I shriek when he begins rifling through the bottles and dumping their contents down the toilet.
“You’re not going to keep popping pills to deal with your shite, Emily. It’s time you find some other way to cope.” He grits through clenched teeth.
I claw at his arms to get him out of the way but he’s a fucking wall and completely immobile.
“Stop! Liam, stop!”
He spins around and grips my face with both hands.
“You’re going to kill yourself, Emily!”
“Good! Then maybe I can finally be free of the fucking voices in my head. The fucking women and children that sit in this fucking room with me!” I scream as tears begin to spill from my eyes.
Sadness fills his eyes as he stares at me like he doesn’t recognize me. His grip tightens when I try pulling away.
“Look at me, Féileacán .” He orders.
Hearing him calling me butterfly in person is nearly as painful as hearing the ghost of him say it when I was trapped in the hole. My lip quivers and I close my eyes. I shake my head, avoiding looking at his beautiful fucking face.
“This has to stop, baby. You don’t have to do this alone. You’re not alone anymore. Let me fight this with you.”
The simmer becomes boiling rage and I snap my eyes open. Glaring at him, I press my hands against his chest and shove myself out of his grasp.
I point my finger at him. “You don’t get to say that to me. Ever. You had your chance to fight with me. For me. And you didn’t, so take your plea and shove it up your ass.”
I push past him and exit the bathroom. He is right on my heels.
He grips my bicep and spins me to face him.
“You have every right to be mad. I was a fecking eejit for walkin’ away from you. But I’m not goin’ to this time.”
I laugh humorlessly and get into his face.
“Let me make this clear to you like you did to me. I. Don’t. Want. You.”
Of course, I’m fucking lying but I refuse to trust Liam with my heart again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Only, Liam won’t fool me twice. I’ve already been broken enough.
His face steels and he grinds his teeth. His eyes bounce between mine. They’re filled with anger and regret, but I don’t care.
He had his chance to love me, and he chose to let me go. Despite him being the reason I fought to stay alive, I’m not giving myself to him. I can’t. I’m barely surviving as it is.
“I’m fighting for you now, Em. Let me.”
I rip my arm out his grasp.
“No. I’ll find someone who will fight for me the first time. Not after the damage to my heart and soul becomes irreversible.”
His hackles raise and he steps closer, forcing me to take a step back. This dance continues until I’m pressed against the wall. He crowds my space and slams his hands against the wall, caging me in.
“You want to try and replace me, Emily? Fine. Go ahead. But know this…” he dips his head, bringing his lips inches from mine. “I won’t hesitate to put a bullet in the head of every man who speaks to you.”
A shiver skates down my spine and for the first time in two years, arousal saturates every fiber of my being.
Damnit.
Liam smirks arrogantly, obviously having seen how my body reacted, and then pulls away. Unconsciously my body leans into him, chasing his lips.
Liam looks me over, stopping at my chest. My thin tee doesn’t hide the fact that my nipples are pebbled to near-painful points. I swiftly wrap my arms over my chest to hide the clear sign of my arousal.
Liam licks his lips and chuckles under his breath. He makes no attempt to hide his hardened cock as he steps to the side of the bed. Bending, he picks up his pants and slides them on, followed by his tee.
“Get ready. I’ll be back in an hour. We’re going to the garden.”
What the fuck just happened?
My head is spinning at the rapid changes in conversation we had since waking up.
I frown. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
After slipping on his boots, he walks over to me and cups the side of my neck. His thumb strokes my cheek lightly and I find myself leaning into the feeling of his callused skin touching mine.
“One hour. Be ready.” He says with a smile.
He presses a kiss to my forehead and then turns to leave the room. My jaw is slackened as I gape at the door.
I gasp when I suddenly remember what Liam was doing in the bathroom. I spin on my heels and run to see if any of my medications are still safe.
Nope. Only the safe ones remain.
Motherfucker.