58. Emily
It’s been three days since Liam and I walked through the grounds in the middle of the night. The truth in his eyes was unmistakable. I’m trying not to let my fear of his walking away get to me. I’m trying to trust that we’re going to get through this. That I am going to get through this.
I walk into the mansion and make my way toward the kitchen. Yes, Liam and I have a kitchen and Niall has offered to come cook for us there when he’s not here, but I like the comfort of eating here.
When I step into the room, it’s empty. My brows furrow as I scan the kitchen and pantry.
“Is anyone here?” I ask loudly.
A few moments later, Declan walks in with his hands in his pockets. “I had everyone leave for a little while.”
“What’s going on?” my mind starts to race with negative thoughts. “Is everything okay?”
Declan holds his hands up to keep me from going into a panic. “Everything is fine. Paige has just been having a rough day and wants to be alone.”
My brows pinch with worry. “Is she okay?”
Bowing his head, he rubs the back of his neck. “She had a nightmare and it really hit her hard.”
Paige had the worst of the violence in comparison to me. She was beaten, tortured, and raped every day. The brutality she faced is unlike anything I’d ever heard of before. While I internalize my trauma and keep quiet. Paige has released the anger and resentment that was trapped in her body.
She tortured and murdered some of the men that Declan captured during our rescue.
“Do you think it’s because she hasn’t let out any of her emotions?”
The last few months have been uneventful as far as any altercations with anyone in the underground. Paige used violence to battle the violence she had inside, and I wonder if not having that is causing her to have nightmares again.
Declan rubs the scruff on his jaw and stares distantly at the ground. “It’s more than likely. We haven’t needed to kill anyone in a while, so she hasn’t had anything to keep her distracted from whatever goes through her head.”
“Maybe she could find something else to help her? Has she tried writing in a journal?” I ask.
He nods. “She started after you suggested it.” He sighs and then stuffs his hands back into his pockets. “I think writing it all out is making her truly face what happened to her and actually deal with all her emotions instead of the ones she wants.”
I walk over to my brother and wrap my arms around his middle. His arms wrap around me, and he rests his chin on my head. “I’m here if you or Paige need me.”
His lips press against my hair. “How are you feeling?” he whispers.
I pull away and releases me from his embrace. “I’m taking one day at a time,” I answer honestly.
He gives me a tight smile and nods. “And Liam?”
My brow raises and I tilt my head. “What about him?”
“Is he still treating you right?”
I smirk at him and cross my arms over my chest. “ Now you ask how he’s treating me?”
Smirking, Declan rolls his eyes and gently pushes my shoulder with his fist. “Got a reputation of an overbearing protective older brother to maintain.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle and push him. He stumbles and barks out a laugh.
He sobers and smiles warmly at me. I return the gesture. “I love you, Em.”
“I love you too, Declan.”
The sound of footsteps coming down the hallways pulls our attention. Rhys steps into the kitchen and pauses when he sees me and Declan.
“What’s up?” Declan asks, turning to fully face him.
Rhys hikes his thumb over his shoulder. “I was heading out to the docks to check the newest shipment.”
“I’ll come with you.” He says before turning toward me. “Do you mind checking in on Paige in a little while? She’s sleeping right now.”
“Of course,” I say with a nod.
They both kiss my forehead and leave.
I knock and then step into Paige and Declan’s room. Paige is sitting on the bed with her knees drawn to her chest and her chin resting on her knees. She glances at me as I enter the room. Her hair is a mess, and she has dark bags under her eyes.
“Hey,” I whisper, giving her a small smile.
“Hi,” she mumbles.
“Doing okay?”
She shakes her head then shoves her face into her knees. Her shoulders shake when she begins to sob.
I sit on the mattress and pull her into my arms. She buries her face into my chest and clutches my shirt.
“I don’t want to be sad or cry, Emily.” She croaks.
And that’s all I seem to feel and do.
“How have you been so positive?” she asks, swiping at the tears that stain her face.
“I’m not.”
Her face rises from my chest, and she furrows her brows in question. “What do you mean?”
I sigh and lie back on the pillows. “When we were first rescued, I know that I seemed so okay and that I was doing great.” I huff a humorless laugh “At least until I was sent to the hospital.”
I turn to face Paige. “I haven’t been okay in a long time. But I’m getting better.” She nods and then lowers her eyes to the blanket.
“I’ve been so mad at the world and what happened to me, I didn’t want to feel anything else.”
My eyes trail over the scars that cover her body and the small one on her cheek. The scar on my thigh begins to heat.
“Declan said you’ve been writing?” I ask, pulling her attention away from the blanket.
“I have. And honestly, it’s been surprisingly liberating to get those feelings out.”
A grin spreads over my face, and I lean forward, setting my hand on her thigh. “That’s awesome, Paige. I think we both deserve to be liberated.”
I spend the rest of the afternoon with Paige until Declan returns from the docks.
“Liam is looking for you. He’s outside.”
I nod and leave after giving Paige a hug and a kiss on the cheek.