Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
DAVID
Josh practically flung himself at me. His hair was still damp from the shower, and he smelled of coconut. It made me think of summer beaches and sunscreen and skin. So much skin.
I kissed him like I was drowning and he was oxygen.
Licking my way into his mouth, he let me lead the kiss for a few precious moments before taking over.
When he moaned into my mouth, my libido roared up like he threw rocket fuel onto a fire.
I wanted to pin him down and kiss him until he came, and then I wanted to finger him open and suck him until he cried.
Instead, I let out a groan. Putting my hands on his hips, I forced him back a little. We needed to come up for air, and we needed to talk. With words. There would be time enough for everything else later.
“We need to get things sorted out between us so this whole days of silence thing doesn’t happen again.”
Josh nodded. “I know.”
“I didn’t like being without you, you know. That probably sounds like too much too fast, but that’s the truth of it. I like talking to you. Texting with you. I’d have liked to spend these past few days getting to know you better.”
“Jax was the last person I expected to walk in that door.” Josh let out a sigh like it came from the very depths of him.
I pulled him against me and steered us to the couch, carefully dodging Nitro who was now trying to weave between our legs.
While Josh had been in the shower, I’d done a speed clean of his living spaces. A new trash bag solved the take-out container issue. I’d started the dishwasher and then barely had time to scoop all the laundry in the living room up and deposit it in the recliner instead of having it on the couch.
“I can’t believe you cleaned.” Josh groaned as he sat down. “I can’t believe I let you. Thank you.”
He had trouble meeting my gaze, and I didn’t force it. Some things were easier to be vulnerable about than others.
“I was happy to help.” I told him.
Nitro bounced up and down a couple times, then made the leap onto the couch. He went straight to Josh and started trying to lick his face, but after a few gentle rebukes, he settled down in Josh’s lap.
“I have so many questions.” Josh finally looked me in the eyes.
“Lay ‘em on me.”
“Why did you watch my work?”
“Well, I hadn’t planned on it, but I was talking to Jax when you hadn’t texted me back.
He wanted to know how things were between us, and I’d needed someone who knew what your job was like to talk to.
He told me that the only way to know if I had a problem with you being with other people was to see you with other people.
And if I couldn’t stand it now, there was no way I’d be able to get over it in the future.
” I stared down at my lap, then at his and I watched the way he petted Nitro, and I wished it were me in his lap with his gentle hands on me like that.
“And what did you learn?”
I learned that Josh spoke quietly when he was feeling vulnerable.
I learned that he wasn’t above using his dog as a security blanket and a shield.
I learned that Josh was made of softness, even though his life hadn’t always been that way.
Instead of cynical, he was considerate. Cautious instead of caustic.
I didn’t know half of what he’d been through, but I’d seen lesser men let the effects of a bad thing change them into a bad person. Not Josh.
“I learned that you’re dangerous on camera.”
He smirked at me. An eyebrow arched. “Oh yeah? I’ve never heard myself described that way before.”
“You made Joey cry with that giant pink cock.” I couldn’t keep the laughter from my voice. It was part awe, part fear, all want. I craved Josh before, but watching him with those men, knowing what he could do to me if I let him, made me weak.
“That was a fun day, I’ll admit.”
“I learned that you let them do things that you don’t mind for the sake of a good shot or whatever. Or maybe you don’t want to speak up, but I watched you endure things. Like that one guy with the nipple fetish. I swear to God I thought he was going to pull them right off your chest.”
Josh winced and his eyes flashed with a sudden rush of emotion.
“And that’s partly how I know it’s a job to you. It’s the way you are with them that tipped me off.”
“And how am I, with them?”
“You’re pretending. You move differently. You use different facial expressions.” I scooted closer and held my hand out, palm up. Josh stared down at it for a moment before slipping his hand into mine.
“I know what you look like when you’re enjoying yourself. I studied your face when you were drowning in pleasure. I don’t have a photographic memory, but I won’t ever forget the way you look when you come apart and all of you is in it.”
Nitro, maybe sensing the sudden shift in atmosphere, jumped off Josh’s lap.
“They might have had your body, but I had more than that, and you can’t tell me otherwise. I saw you, Josh.”
His gaze flicked up and met mine, hope swimming close to the surface of his glassy eyes.
“I see you.”
Josh nodded, then let out a shaky breath. “And the playlist?”
“Did you want to listen to it together, and I can tell you why I chose the songs I did?”
“I’d like that. But first, I think we should address the elephant in the room.” Josh stared at me, unwavering. He tipped his chin up, his jaw set. “Jax.”
“What about him?”
“I’ve had sex with your son.”
“I’m aware that you had worked with him before, yes.
And I think that’s my only stipulation of continuing to see you.
I’d never try to tell you who you can and can’t work with, but it would be hella fucking awkward if you worked with my son right now.
Or ever again.” I couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled out of me.
I was truly okay with the fact that once upon a time they’d had sex.
I just needed it to never happen again. Not that Jax would do that to me, or put Josh in that position for that matter. But I still liked having the assurance.
“I think that goes without saying.” Josh rolled his eyes, but he didn’t seem annoyed by my stipulation. “I just… it seems too good to be true that you’d really be okay with what I do for a living.”
“Well, that’s why I chose the first song.”
Josh looked down at the playlist. “It’s My Life by Bon Jovi reminds you that I’m a sex worker?”
“No, it reminds me that your life is your own. You can choose to be with me, or you can choose to not be with me. You’ve made it this far living your life your way, and who am I to meet you, like you, and then try to change you?
Your job is your job. It’s what you do, not who you are.
I can’t say that I’ll never feel jealous, but I can promise not to be a shit about it. ”
“And song number two? I’m surprised you know who Alan Walker is.”
“So you’ve heard the song?”
Josh shook his head. “I’m not sure, actually.” He looked at me. Vulnerable. Hopeful. “We could listen to it together?”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, but before I could bring the playlist up, Josh’s phone vibrated.
“Let me just turn this…” He paused when he saw the screen. “Actually, I have to get this.”
“Hello?” He stood up off the couch looking pale and shaky. “This is he.”
He went dead quiet. I don’t think he even breathed. And then he was moving around the room. “How is she?” Another pause. “But she’s okay?” Another pause and Josh let out a stuttering breath, clinging to the counter for support. “I’ll be there soon. Tell her I’m on my way.”
He hung up the phone and stared at it in disbelief, then he looked up at me. “I have to go. Uh… my friend Hannah, there was an incident tonight. She’s okay, but she’s in the hospital. Shit.” He looked down at the fuzzy dog that was pacing softly, toenails clicking on the kitchen floor. “Nitro.”
“I’ll take him home with me. He can hang out with Wally and me, and you can be there for your friend. He’ll be in good hands.”
“Fuck. Sorry. You don’t mind? Are you sure? I can call Violet and ask her to take him.”
I stood from the couch and closed the gap between us in two strides. I pulled Josh into my arms and hugged him tight like I could fix things if I squeezed with just the right amount of pressure.
“Wally loves Nitro. He’ll be fine with us for as long as you need to be with your friend. Is she going to be okay?”
Josh nodded. “She’ll be okay. But she hates hospitals and…”
“Go. I’ve got Nitro.” I tipped Josh’s chin up and brushed a kiss against his lips. “You have my number. If you and your friend need anything, I want you to call me. Okay?”
“Okay.” Josh pulled away, bent and gave Nitro a quick pet. “Be good. No barking.”
He cleared his throat, then straightened up, patting his pockets for his keys and his phone. “I’ll update you as soon as I can.”
“Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll be fine with the dogs. Go be with your friend.” I walked with Josh to the door, where we both put our shoes on, and then he clipped a leash to Nitro’s collar.
“I feel so bad. I finally get to see you and you end up cleaning my apartment then taking care of my dog. We didn’t even get to listen to the playlist.”
On the elevator ride down to the first floor, Josh took advantage of the empty elevator and leaned against me, resting his head against my chest. I wound an arm over his shoulders.
“Sometimes life doesn’t happen the way we expect it to, but that doesn’t mean those things are bad. I liked the time we did get to spend together today. I just hope your friend will be okay.” I didn’t ask what happened to her; it wasn’t my place. If Josh wanted me to know, he’d tell me.
“They say she’ll be fine. Which is good. I think she just needs some moral support more than anything. I’ll try not to be too long.”
“You’ll be as long as you need to be.” The elevator doors slid open, and I followed Josh through the lobby to the parking lot. I walked him to his car and stole another kiss before he got in. “You know where to find us when you’re done.”
“Thanks for this.” He seemed reluctant to get in his car and drive away, so I scooped Nitro up off the ground.
“Come on, kid, let’s go see what your best friend is up to. Maybe the two of you can find a squirrel in the back yard to harass. Maybe chase some crows.” I flicked my gaze back to Josh. “Get going, Josh.”
He unlocked his car and climbed in, then rolled the window down. “David?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for today. For all of it.” Josh opened his mouth like he might want to say something else, then he shut it again and after a short nod, he started the engine and backed out of his parking space.
I set Nitro back on the ground and took the scenic route back to my car so he could enjoy the fresh air and make use of the grass if need be.
“Well, today didn’t go as planned, now did it, Nitro?” I’d hoped to be halfway naked with Josh by now, but some things were more important.
Later, I sent him some pictures of the dogs to keep his spirits up and to set his mind at ease. Then I resigned myself to having a far different evening than I’d hoped for.