Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
JOSH
Hannah was okay, the nurse had said. Injured, but shaken up. She’d be all right, though. She’d be better when I could get her out of the hospital and away from the smell of antiseptic or whatever it was that made a hospital smell like a hospital.
I talked to one of the nurses at the unit station in the emergency room, a nice woman who looked like she was everyone’s grandma. Her hair was up in a bun and a pair of thick glasses sat on her face. She smiled warmly at me then looked ten kinds of relieved when I said I was there for Hannah.
“She’s right through there. Curtain four. She’ll be discharged soon, I think. You can let her know.”
Scurrying past the other curtains, I took a breath to steady myself and slipped past curtain four.
“Knock, knock,” I said softly as Hannah came into view. Her long hair was in a frizzy braid that had seen better days. Pain and panic pinched her features. She looked tired too. Dark circles sat under her eyes like bruises on her face. “Hannah Banana, what happened? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I forgot my phone.” Her lip trembled; then her whole face crumpled, and I went to her and pulled her into my arms. I let her cling to me, and I stroked her hair, whispered reassuring things to her, like it was going to be okay. I would look after her. She wouldn’t be alone here.
It took her a few minutes to compose herself, but eventually she was able to pull away. I located some tissues and plucked a few from the box for her. “What happened?”
Hannah’s arm was in a sling, but otherwise she looked unharmed.
Just anxious and miserable from being in the hospital.
Hannah’s brother had spent his entire young life in the hospital getting treatment after treatment, trying to stop the disease that ultimately took him.
Hospitals brought back a lot of bad memories for Hannah, who’d been forced to sit by and watch her brother get sicker and sicker, and her parents get more and more worried. And then there were three.
After the death of her brother, that’s when things really fell apart.
Hannah’s dad wasn’t able to take the pain of losing a child.
He fought with Hannah’s mom constantly until one day he just didn’t come home.
Hannah was barely eighteen when she lost her mom, and her dad never did come back.
Hannah hadn’t come out as trans until she was in her late teens, but she confessed to me once that maybe her dad had known all along and if she’d have been a boy, her dad might have stuck around after her brother died.
Hospitals brought all that back for her.
“I don’t want to get into it. Not here. Okay?” Hannah sniffled and clutched the tissue in her hand. “Thanks for coming for me. I hope your menace of a dog isn’t going to get you evicted in the time it takes you to drive my ass home. Or did he finally learn to be quiet when you’re not home?”
“Nitro is fine and is with a friend actually. So no, my tenancy is safe. I can take my time getting you home and settled and bugging you to tell me how you got yourself in this state.”
Hannah, of course, grabbed on to the mention of a friend. “What friend? Who did you leave your dog with?” She scrutinized me like she could tell all my secrets just by squinting.
“David showed up at my place.” I took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Which was mortifying, by the way. He walked right into my depression nest.”
Hannah gasped. “Oh, honey, noooo.”
“Oh, baby, yes. Take-out containers. Laundry and general mess. And me, who hadn’t seen a shower in a day or so past my expiration date.”
Hannah, of course, knew all about the man I’d met and how much I liked him, and then I’d updated her when he turned out to be Jax’s father.
“Did he take one look at your messy apartment and leave?” She smirked at me because she was an asshole who already knew the answer.
I made a show of rolling my eyes. “He told me to shower, and he tidied my house. We were… uh… talking… when I got the phone call.”
“Oh, God. You were going to have wild, crazy, not-make-up because you weren’t fighting sex.”
“We still are. It’s just on hold while I get you sorted.”
The curtain pulled to the side and an incredibly hot doctor stepped into the room.
“Okay, Miss Hannah, your collarbone is broken. I’ll need you to keep that sling on for at least three weeks while it heals.
You should take it out of the sling a few times a day and gently straighten your arm so your elbow doesn’t get stuck like that.
Regular pain medication should be enough to ease your discomfort. ”
“Can I go now?” Hannah shimmied toward the edge of the bed, using her good arm to steady herself as she got off the bed.
“You’re free to go. I hope the rest of your day goes better.”
“Thanks, Doc,” I said as Hannah stepped out of the curtained area and made a beeline for the exit. I hustled after her. “Holy shit, Hannah, I know you hate the place, but I don’t think you’re supposed to sprint in the ER.”
She didn’t speak until she was outside. She took a few steps out of the main doors, then stopped and inhaled a deep breath. Then another. In through her nose. Less to calm herself and more to cleanse herself of the lingering hospital smell.
Her hatred of hospitals looked a lot like PTSD sometimes. It might not have been her who was sick, but the effects of her brother’s disease haunted her, nonetheless.
“Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist, Hannah?”
She whirled around and looked at me like I’d grown three more heads.
“I mean, it would be more comfortable for you in the long run, if you could go to a hospital without feeling like this.” I stepped closer and slipped my arm around her waist. She was rigid at first, then draped her arm around me.
“Therapy? To what? Deal with my trauma?” Hannah scoffed, but she wasn’t serious about her disdain.
“Hannah?” An unfamiliar voice called.
Next to me, she stiffened, then she turned slowly bringing us face to face with someone who looked like they’d been through it today too.
Their hair was a mess, like they’d been pulling at it, trying to yank it out maybe.
Their lower lip looked like hamburger because they’d clearly been chewing on it.
“I told you that I was fine.” Hannah took a step back when the person reached for her.
“Sorry, but who the hell are you?” I asked, putting myself between Hannah and the mystery person.
“I’m Robin,” he said to me, then looked at Hannah, who towered over my shoulder.
I might not look like much of a bodyguard, but I wasn’t about to let someone near my friend.
I might as well have not existed, though, for the way they looked at Hannah.
“I’m sorry. I—I checked the whole rigging system beforehand.
Everything looked fine. I—” Robin clamped his mouth shut and his eyes got comically wide.
“Relax. Josh knows all about my extracurriculars."
I spun and faced Hannah. “This is a sex injury?”
“Don’t be so dramatic. We hadn’t got to that part yet. Robin had me tied up. He checked the ropes, the rigging, the whole system before we started, like always. He suspended me and things were fine, but then suddenly something slipped or snapped or something, and I hit the floor.”
“I’m so sorry.” Robin’s voice cracked. And then he did look at me. “I brought her straight here even though she didn’t want to come, but she refused to let me go in with her.”
“But you let her go in alone anyway?” I was about to take Hannah by the good arm and march her away when he let out a deflated, defeated sigh.
“I would have, but it looked like it would hurt her even more to have me in there, and I didn’t want to be the cause of more pain. She made me promise not to go inside, so I’ve been sitting in my truck the whole time. Waiting.” Robin raked a hand through his hair.
I turned to Hannah and asked her a million questions with one look. Was this guy okay? Did she want me to whisk her away? Should I call the cops? Hannah let out a sigh.
“You should go back to your friend, Josh. Robin and I have things to talk about.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek.
“Are you sure?” I asked, still clinging to her, willing to fight for her or flee with her. Whatever she needed.
“I’m sure. But thank you for coming down. I’m sorry I disturbed your night. I didn’t know he’d still be here when I had them call you.”
“Never apologize for needing me. I will always come when you need me.” I was loath to leave her when she still looked pale and stricken, but she nodded.
“I’m sorry I made you come down here just so I could blow you off.”
“I’m sorry you were hurt, but I’m not sorry you wanted me to be there for you. Now get out of here and make sure he buys you ice cream. The good kind.” I turned to face him. “Her favorite is cookie dough ice cream or straight chocolate. She can never decide, so buy one of each.”
Robin’s mouth turned up into a smile. “Your friend is in good hands.”
I had my doubts about that, but Hannah seemed to like him.
I’d have to pump her for more information about him later, but for now I would let her off the hook.
With the rest of my night suddenly freed up, I could go back to David’s, and we could talk…
or not talk. Not talking sounded like a great option.
Kissing Hannah on the cheek, I watched as she let herself be bundled up close to Robin’s side. Even with the disaster, she still trusted him enough to be alone with him and let him take her home. They clearly had some stuff to work through, which reminded me of my own situation.
Other people might have been annoyed at the interruption, but I was thankful for the break. It gave me some space to think about David and what he’d said about watching me. And that’s why I went home first and packed a bag before driving over to his place.
The rain was just starting when I pulled into his driveway, and he must have been watching for me because the door opened as I walked up the steps, right as the sky started to open up.
I hurried into the house, bag in hand. David’s gaze flicked down to it briefly, but then he was sweeping me close, kissing me with a sort of tenderness that made my chest ache.
“How’s your friend?”
“Broken collarbone. She’ll be fine; she just hates hospitals. It’s a long story.” I toed out of my shoes and bent to pet Nitro and Wally. The two of them had trotted into the room as I’d arrived.
“Did you miss me?” I asked Nitro. I took a breath to steady myself then stood and stepped back into David’s bubble. My overnight bag brushed against him.
“What’s in the bag, Josh?” David’s pupils were huge black pools of lust.
“Just some things for us to do while we listen to that playlist of yours.”
His eyes flashed and then his mouth was on mine in a kiss that felt possessive, claiming. Like he could mark me as his if he kissed me hard enough, deep enough.
And maybe he could.