Chapter 19
NINETEEN
DAVID
I’d been aching for days to get my hands on Josh again, and it started to seem like the universe was conspiring against us.
Ever since I woke up alone, I’d craved him, and since then it was one thing after another to keep me away from him.
If the universe was trying to tell me something, I wasn’t listening.
Josh stayed close while I dealt with the dogs, letting them out and then turning the TV on for them. “I do it when I leave Wally by himself. I like to think it keeps him company.”
Josh towed me to my bedroom, the ominous black bag in one hand, my trembling fingers in the other.
It wasn’t that I was inexperienced—I wasn’t.
Or that Josh had so much more experience than I did.
It wasn’t even about measuring up to all the people I’d watched him with.
It was that anticipation overloaded my senses, turning me into a jittering mess of a man.
What if the universe had been trying to tell me something by throwing up all these roadblocks?
“What’s wrong?” Josh asked. Setting his bag on the bed, he turned to face me. Looping his arms around my waist, he stepped in close to me pressing his bulge against me. His… bulge?
I looked down then up at his face. My confusion must have been obvious because he laughed. “It’s a packer, David. I didn’t sprout a dick overnight.”
Heat flamed my cheeks. “I feel like I should have known that. Sorry if I just made things weird.”
“Unless you’ve had a lot of trans lovers, or a lot of exposure to trans guys, you probably didn’t know about packers.
Some guys love them, some guys don’t. It’s a personal preference thing.
” Josh ghosted a kiss against my lips. “And nothing is weird. You’re fine.
” Josh pulled his head back and looked up at me. “Are you fine? You seem nervous.”
“I have to admit I’m a bit intimidated by what might be in that bag.”
He responded by rucking my shirt up, pushing it up my body, and tugging it off over my head.
“There’s nothing to be worried about. The bag is here to help me take care of you.
” Josh slid his hands down my chest, using his blunt nails to spark trails of heat as he dragged them down my skin, pressing them into my flesh.
I was beginning to understand that there wasn’t a single thing Josh could do that I wouldn’t like.
“You promised to tell me about the playlist,” he reminded me. Slipping hands into my back pockets, he retrieved my phone and used my face to unlock it. “The first song is a bit… bouncy… it might kill the mood.”
Josh skipped ahead to a cover of Cold Play’s song Yellow. It was performed by a guy with the voice of an angel, playing his acoustic guitar. Josh listened to the first few lines of the song, then looked up at me with a funny expression.
“I don’t even like this song. Not usually.”
“There’s a lot of cover songs on the playlist because some songs aren’t bad—they were just being sung by the wrong person.”
Josh set my phone on the dresser and let the song play.
The next time he kissed me, I could feel it down to my toes.
The way he held me close like I was too precious to let out of his grip.
The way his kiss was soft at first, then steadily more insistent as he ground himself against me.
I sank my hands into his hair and kissed him deep, licking my way into his mouth.
Before I registered what was happening, Josh had my pants undone and was fishing my cock out of my briefs.
His touch nearly made my knees buckle and Josh must have realized it because he laughed into the kiss, breaking the intensity of it.
The heat dialed back enough for me to breathe, to think, and then Josh was guiding me to the bed.
“Pants off,” he said, shoving them down past my ass before planting his hand in the center of my chest and pushing me down to sit on the edge of the bed. My pants were down around my knees, my shirt was gone, my dick stood straight up in the air, twitching and bobbing.
After he helped me out of my pants, he straightened to his full height, rolling his shoulders back as he smirked at me. “Did you still want to see what’s in the bag? You can say no to any of it. You can always say no.”
The laugh that spilled out of me was weak and dry. Rasping like a man dying of thirst, I said, “No is the last thing I want to say.”
Instead of reaching for his bag, Josh stripped his shirt off. I stared at him with naked appreciation. The pink scars of his top surgery had faded some, but they were still there.
“God, you’re so fucking hot,” I told him, not holding back anything. I let how I felt pour into every word.
Josh slid his hands over his chest. “It took me a long time to be okay with my body.” It wasn’t some dark secret he was confessing. It was him stating a fact. And then he gave me another. “My job was part of that. It’s hard to explain.”
He brought his hands to his waistband and pushed it down, leaving his briefs behind.
“You don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to.”
“Maybe that’s why I want to.” Josh’s smile was soft and warm.
“You demand nothing. You ask for nothing. You take me at face value. Sometimes, the way people look at me, it makes me feel like they’re trying to dissect me.
Like they’re trying to picture what I looked like before.
” Josh’s sweats fell to the floor and he kicked them aside.
Standing before me was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen.
There was a kindness in his face, an expression that never fully vanished, revealing who he was inside.
My gaze darted down to the bulge in his briefs and then back up to Josh’s face.
Though heat flared in my face, Josh just grinned at me, then dragged his hand down his body and he gripped his cock through his briefs.
“Did you want to feel it?” he asked, stepping closer. His hand moved from his crotch to my hair, and I leaned in, letting the weight of his hand encourage me forward. I opened my mouth and put it on him, breathing hot, damp air against him.
“Holy fucking shit, that’s hot.” His fingers trembled in my hair like he was trying to hold back.
I pulled away a bit and looked up at him.
Resting my hands on his hips, I dragged my thumbs back and forth over his skin.
“I want to taste you,” I told him. I had a feeling I knew what was in that bag he brought, but I was nearly desperate for confirmation.
“Do you have something in that bag you’d like me to get wet for you? ”
Josh let out a harsh breath. “You’re going to kill me. Holy fuck, David.” Then he grinned at me. “Hell yeah, I do.”
Josh stripped down to nothing in about two seconds flat. I liked that he was as desperate as I felt. That composure had been tossed aside, eagerness taking its place. Another song had started when Josh reached for his bag, and he paused to kiss me.
“Tell me about the song.”
“It’s another cover,” I said, in case that wasn’t obvious. I struggled to find words as he pulled out a leather harness and set it on the bed. “The original is a favorite song of mine, but I like the cover better. I think it has a depth that I don’t hear in the original.”
“It’s decision time, David.” Josh’s eyes flashed with lust and hope, and maybe a little fear. Then he pulled out a selection of cocks. “Take your pick. They’re all cleaned, but I always use condoms on my toys.”
“Holy fucking shit.” I gaped at the selection. Five cocks in various sizes ranging from the most perfectly average dick I’d ever seen, all the way up to one that wasn’t pink, but was blue and looked a lot like the one that had made Joey cry. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that one just yet.
“What one is your favorite?” I asked him, lowkey hoping he wasn’t going to pick the giant blue dick.
“I like this one.” Josh picked up a flesh-colored cock. It was thick and curved slightly. It was a little larger than what I would have called average, but it wasn’t so scary that it made my balls crawl into my body. The giant blue dick was something I’d have to work up to taking.
“Maybe one day we can try that blue one, but today, let’s use your favorite.” I paused, unsure of how to phrase my question without sounding like a weirdo. “Can I… can you show me how you put it on?”
He dropped the rest of the toys in the bag, grabbed a bottle of lube out of it, and then set the bag on the floor.
“You want a little show, do you?” Josh grabbed the harness and dangled it in front of me. “It’s really pretty self-explanatory. I have to loosen the waist so I can step into it.”
I felt Josh’s gaze on me when he spoke, but I was unable to look away from his hands and the way they worked the straps. He put the harness in my hands, and I gazed up at him.
“Care to help me put it on?”
I slid to my knees, clutching the straps in my trembling hands.
It was obvious which way things went, and I held the device ready for him to step into.
He put his hand on my shoulder and stepped in, one foot at a time.
Tugging it up his legs, I got it up to his waist and hesitated, unsure of what to do next.
Josh took over, pulling things tight and getting comfortable.
“Grab my cock, David. I’ll show you where it goes.”
“Fucking hell.” My cock throbbed between my legs so hard that I had half a mind to shimmy closer and hump his leg.
It would probably take me seconds to come.
After I helped him attach the cock to the harness, Josh gave his hips a wiggle and it swayed in my face, so I did what I would normally do when there was a dick swaying in my face.
I leaned forward and flicked the tip of it with my tongue. Josh’s nostrils flared and his eyes widened. He looked at me like he was mere seconds away from devouring me, his hunger written on his face
“Do that again,” he commanded. “Get me nice and wet for you.”
He gripped a handful of my hair, then yanked my head back, making me gasp as he kissed me like a storm breaking, suddenly and ferociously, unleashing his power over me. Then he pulled back, leaving me gaping and breathless.
I leaned forward, holding his gaze, loving the way he stared down at me with such an intensity I could feel it heating my skin. “That’s right,” he said as I swirled my tongue around the silicone tip. “You look so hot down there.”
I wanted to tell him how hot he looked towering over me. How he was so gorgeous that he took my breath away. How just looking at him made my dick leak. I wanted to shower him with all the praise he deserved but couldn’t take his cock out of my mouth to speak.
Instead, I reached for Josh’s other hand and lifted it, placing it on the other side of my head. I looked up at him, imploring him to take me. Use me.
Need me.
Crave me.
… keep me.