Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
JOSH
David loved me. The desire to pinch myself simmered just below the surface.
There was still a lot we had to figure out, but I felt like we could make it work.
I knew firsthand that sometimes love wasn’t enough.
It hadn’t been enough for my own parents, but maybe it could be enough this time.
Maybe this time, we could use that love to build something great.
I’d been in love before. I’d had my heart broken before.
I imagined David had too. Hell, he had a whole-ass kid.
But maybe this time was different for him too.
Though it was hard to know what he saw in me.
Whereas Jax and Blue had used their work on screen to fund different careers in different fields, I hadn’t.
My ambition had moved from in front of the camera to behind it.
“What’s that look for?” David asked, his voice soft and careful.
I forced a smile. “Sorry, I got stuck in my own head for a second.”
David reached up and brushed a hair off my forehead. “Then let’s get you unstuck. What’s on your mind?”
“You. Me. My job.”
“Your job is your job. I’ve known what you do for a while, and I’ve been okay with it since I found out.”
“But that’s because I haven’t been actively filming with other people while we’ve been together.” My tone sharpened as my chest pulled tight, collapsing in on itself.
“I talked to Lukas about doing a scene,” I blurted. “Not long ago, just recently.”
“Okay.”
I gaped at him. “Okay? That’s it?”
“Thank you for telling me. I hope you’ll let me know when the big day is and maybe who you’re working with, but I’ll leave it up to you to decide what you’re comfortable telling me.”
David slid his arms around me. Sitting on his lap like this had clearly had an effect on him and the result of our position poked me in the ass. Like a gentleman, he ignored his obvious erection.
I tilted my head like I was a curious dog. “You’re really okay with it, aren’t you?”
He didn’t answer right away and when he did, his words were carefully chosen, telling me that he’d put a lot of thought into this. Maybe as much as I had. Maybe more.
“I love you, Josh. I don’t think you see how amazing you are. I think life taught you that people run the first chance they get, and today I don’t think I did a lot to disprove that notion. But I wish you could see yourself how I see you.”
David had to pause when I leaned forward and brushed my mouth against his. He tasted like home. Like safety and love and acceptance.
“How do you see me?” I was desperate to know. Perhaps knowing would unlock some sort of secret strength inside me. A new kind of confidence or something like a superpower, help me level up. It was also possible that I was just greedy and wanted as many compliments as I could get.
“I think you’re incredible. Your kindness shines through you.
You never have a bad word to say about anyone.
Even though life has given you reasons to be hard or bitter, you’ve remained soft and caring.
You’ve been through things that I will never understand.
” David’s mouth curved up into a smile and his eyes sparkled at me. “And you’re sexy as fuck. Daring too.”
“I’m not that daring.”
“You sucked my dick under a willow tree. I’ve never had anyone do more than play footsies with me under the table at a restaurant.”
“That was impulsive as hell and kind of stupid. It could have cost you your job.” Heat seared my face at the memory. It had been hotter than hell, even if it was mostly a dumbass thing to do. “That must have been my inner porn star coming out.”
“That was you being brave and free and comfortable enough with yourself to do something like that in a public space.”
There was something in the way David talked about the event that got me thinking. I rolled my hips, rocking into his erection. His whole body responded to my movements. His hips thrust up, his hands clamped down on my waist to hold me still, and his mouth fell open on a gasp.
“David, darling, did you get off on that little bit of public indecency?” I leaned close, bringing my mouth down to his cheek. My lips brushed against the corner of his mouth when I spoke. “Tell me the truth, David. No fibbing.”
“That,” David rasped, chasing my mouth with his, but I wouldn’t let him connect. “Was the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
He stopped trying to chase my mouth and went for my neck instead. Pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses against my skin that sent shivers down my spine. Heat pooled between my legs, and I knew I’d be fucking soaked if I dared to check.
There was a pause. I felt it in the way David stilled beneath me, not even breathing, that there was something else. Something bigger that he wanted to talk about or say.
“What is it?” I asked. “You can tell me anything.”
“What if I wanted to watch you film?”
Shock knocked me back and I searched his face for the lie. For the bluff. For anything that would indicate that he hadn’t thought about what he said. But he stared back at me, still and unmovable.
“You’re joking.” The words shook as they left me, barely sound at all, mostly breath.
“I’m not. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“What did you think about?”
“About watching you on my phone and how hot that was. And I thought that the only way for that to get any hotter was if I saw you in person.”
An idea formed in my head, and it probably wasn’t what he meant, but I could work something out to give him a slice of his fantasy.
“Well, there’s no reason you can’t watch me film,” I purred, dragging a finger down the side of his neck.
“In fact… it won’t be studio quality because I don’t have the equipment with me, but I could shoot a video on my phone.
One just for you. You could watch me do it. And we could do it right now.”
“Now?” David looked like he was two seconds away from creaming his pants. His voice was tight, like sheer willpower was the only thing holding his lust at bay.
“Right now. All I need is a phone and an audience, and I happen to have both.”
“You don’t have to,” David assured me, and I knew he meant it, even if his eyes pleaded with me to not change my mind.
“I want to.” I stole a kiss, a brief press of my mouth against his. I teased my tongue between his lips and when I felt him reach for more, I pulled away and slid off his lap. I started for his room and when I didn’t hear him follow, I tossed a look over my shoulder. “Are you coming?”
“Trying not to actually.” David laughed, but he stood and moved to join me.
I could feel the way his eyes ate me up, and I hadn’t taken off a single article of clothing yet.
When I got into his bedroom, I smiled at the way it looked untidy and lived in. The bed was unmade, though more rumpled on one side than the other. Before I did anything, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him.
“I don’t have so much as a tripod here, so unless you have one, you’re on camera duty.”
With no preamble, I stripped my shirt off. David exhaled like he’d been punched and had all the air forced out of him. I watched his hands tremble as he fiddled with the phone, trying to divide his attention between me and getting the phone to start recording.
I took no mercy on him. Popping the button of my jeans, I shoved them down past my hips, to my ankles, and then stepped out of them one leg at a time.
I turned and headed for his nightstand, knowing that would be where I found the lube.
When I opened the drawer, sure enough, there it was, but it also had company.
I turned to David and tossed him a curious expression. “What’s all that?”
My heart ran in circles in my chest, too elated to be still. Too close to happiness to be calm about it.
In the drawer, was lube, yes, but also a selection of what looked like brand new, just out of the package sex toys. A variety of cocks in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes.
“I wanted… maybe I overstepped, but I wanted you to be able to have the kind of sex you wanted without having to always remember to bring your supplies back and forth.”
Even if I was offered a billion dollars not to smile, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself. “You bought me some dicks?”
David shook so hard he fumbled my phone, but caught it before it hit the floor.
“Is that okay?” he asked. “I meant to discuss it with you, but it kind of just slipped my mind.”
I arched an eyebrow at that. “You forgot you bought a drawer of dicks?”
The sigh David let out deflated him. “I did it and then I second-guessed myself and didn’t know if it was okay that I did it. I just wanted you to know that you didn’t always have to plan ahead.”
“I think that’s the most perverted but sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Putting him out of his misery, I crossed the room and wound my arms around his neck, pressing my naked body against his still fully dressed one.
When I kissed him this time, I let him have all of me. I let him in and kissed him with everything I had. My tongue speared into his mouth and danced with his. I not-so-subtly positioned my body so I could grind on his leg and enjoy the rasp of denim against my skin.
I kissed him until my head swam from the lack of oxygen and between my legs was damp and hot and desperate. And then I pulled away and went back to the drawer.
“Pick one,” I told him, glancing back over my shoulder in time to see him readjust his package, but it stayed confined, trapped in his pants.
“The… red one.”
“Excellent choice.”
The red one was a middle-of-the-road size with a nice curve and a set of balls with a suction cup base. I tossed it on the bed and then climbed on, lube in hand. I arranged the pillows at the headboard to prop me up into a more upright position.
“Don’t forget to press record,” I said. I knelt somewhere around the middle of the bed and looked at him. David raked a hand through his hair. His attention was on the phone, and then he looked at me with a fierce kind of hunger that I felt tugging at me, like it was a thread connecting us.
I spread my legs wider and let my hands drift over my body, skimming down my torso.
They slid across my stomach, grazing my navel before dipping lower.
Lowering myself down so I was sitting on my heels, I leaned back, propping myself up with one hand.
The other skated over my cock before going lower.
I teased my hole with a finger, pleased to feel the slick proof of arousal there.
And David?
David looked like he’d eat me alive if I gave him the chance.
“You’re so fucking hot.” His voice was thick with what sounded like disbelief, like he couldn’t believe I was there with him. There for him.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked, bringing my hand back up my body, my fingers dragging the scent of me across my skin.
He met my gaze and nothing could have prepared me for what he said.
“Just be you. Show me what you like. Show me how to please you.”
Holy fuck.
How was he so perfect? So delightfully dirty and thoughtful all at once. And how was he mine?