Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
JOSH
David and I agreed to meet Violet for dinner at a little place near the doggy daycare. It was meant to be a proper reintroduction now that the dust had settled from their first encounter. After which, I’d basically frozen her out for a couple of weeks.
She was sorry. I understood that, and we’d gotten together last week, shortly after my retirement video went live, to set new boundaries and ground rules.
Violet was no longer allowed to ask about my love life.
She could comment on what I chose to share.
I still hadn’t told her that I’d retired from camera work.
I figured I could toss that out there tonight if the conversation needed saving.
She was sorry, but a little residual anger about the whole thing still clung to me in spite of me trying to let it go and move on.
Part of me worried that she hadn’t heard anything I’d said, and that tonight was going to be another disaster.
For that reason, I also convinced Hannah to join us.
She’d met Violet once or twice and the pair seemed to get along okay.
I just needed there to be some kind of buffer that wasn’t me if things started to go sideways.
David gripped my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You okay?” he asked as we walked the short distance to the restaurant from where we parked.
“I should be asking you that question.”
“I’m fine. I had to raise a teenager by myself. I’m used to being disliked.”
“That’s not helpful.” I scowled. “I want her to like you.”
“Will her liking me affect your opinion of me?”
“No.”
“Will her liking me affect how you feel about me?”
I let out a sigh, understanding where David was going with this. “Also no.”
“Then she can hate me all she wants. But for the sake of your relationship, I hope she comes around and doesn’t make things difficult for you.”
“She claims to have done some soul-searching. She promised to be on her best behavior tonight, but if she so much as sneezes wrong, we’re out of here.”
“Josh, honey, take a breath. It’s going to be fine.” David pulled the door of the restaurant open and let me walk through first. The place we chose wasn’t fancy at all. It was a seat yourself kind of place with music that played a little too loud, but the food was worth the noise.
I spotted Violet and Hannah sitting at a table not far away from the front doors. They’d ordered drinks already, and I worried that we were late. It must have shown on my face because when we approached, Violet stood and hugged me.
“I was early.”
“I wondered.” I hugged her back, relishing how normal it felt.
How nice it was. Almost like nothing had happened to sour our relationship at all.
Then I pulled back and put my hand on the small of David’s back.
“This is my boyfriend, David. David, this is my sister Violet, and my best friend Hannah.”
David smiled and offered his hand to Violet. “David Fisher. I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.”
Violet took his hand and shook it. “That’s very kind of you, but it’s unnecessary. I owe you an apology.” Violet paused, glancing around the room, seemingly uncomfortable with the spotlight.
“How about we sit?” David suggested. He turned to Hannah next and shook her hand. “Josh has told me all about you. How’s the collarbone?”
Hannah smiled warmly; she already liked David, even before they met, and I could tell that her opinion of him was only going to improve.
“It’s healed up nicely, thank you.”
Violet practically collapsed back into her chair and our attention spun to her again.
She looked like she was facing the firing squad, all pale faced and watery eyes.
“I’m sorry I was awful the last time we saw each other.
I’m weirdly protective of Josh, but I don’t need to be, and it’s on me to figure out how to not act like a jackass.
And I’m sorry that I acted the way I did and that I hurt you. ”
David smiled at her, the soft kind of smile that I’d fallen in love with him for. “Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it.” He took a breath and looked at me. “So what’s good here?”
“Oh, don’t listen to him,” Hannah said. “He always gets the same thing.”
“Hey.” I balked. “It’s not a crime to know what I like.”
Under the table, David squeezed my leg, just above the knee. “No, it’s not.”
“Okay, well, let’s not make this weird.” Violet slid a menu over to David. “That little monster gets a tuna melt. Every time.”
“It’s good!”
“It looks… well, you’ll see.” Violet shuddered.
“I hate you,” I said to her, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Not as much as we hate looking at your tuna melt.” Hannah chirped.
“You’re both such haters.”
“Better a hater than a person with no taste.” Violet cut her eyes over to David. “No offense.”
“Well, I didn’t think you were putting me in the same category as a tuna melt, but thanks for the clarification all the same.”
David ended up taking Violet’s advice and ordered the deluxe bacon cheeseburger.
I ordered my tuna melt. Violet talked almost nonstop about the doggy daycare drama.
Pet parents, she told me, were just as bad as parents of human children, if not a little nuttier.
Hannah hung on every word Violet said and often asked questions about the business or the dogs, which pleased Violet to no end.
When our food came, Violet shot David a look. “I told you so,” she crowed, almost triumphantly. Hannah scooted her chair farther away from me and closer to Violet, side-eyeing my tuna melt.
Sure, it didn’t look like much, but it was heaven on a chunk of rye bread. A thick slice of light rye with a mountain of tuna and onion all smothered in cheese and broiled until it was hot and bubbly and the edges of the cheese were crispy.
David also gave it the side eye.
“Do you want a bite?”
He shook his head. “I’ll stick with my burger, thanks though.”
I shrugged and took a big bite. Violet shuddered again.
“And you let him kiss you with that mouth.” Hannah curled her lip in disgust.
Tired of having my food choices picked on, even if it was in good fun, I decided now was a good time to launch the news.
“And he’ll be the only one I’m kissing from now on.”
Violet blinked at me. “What?”
“I retired. I hung up my… Well, I’m not sure what porn stars hang up when they quit, considering they’re naked for most of the job…
but anyway. I retired. I’m still editing and working as a cameraman on shoots, and Lukas said I could try my hand at taking control of an entire project if I wanted, but I’m done performing. ”
Violet was quieter than I expected her to be. I thought she’d cry with relief and make a huge deal out of my decision. After a moment, she put her fork down and took my hand. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but did David ask you to quit?”
“No. He wouldn’t. It was all my decision.”
Violet searched my face for any sign that I was lying. I don’t know what she saw there, but when she spoke again, it was barely above a whisper. “Really?”
“Really, really. It was all my decision. I won’t bore you with the specifics, but performing was no longer right for me.”
“In that case, I’m happy for you.”
“And I’ll pretend not to be insulted that you thought I’d quit for a boy.” I made a show of rolling my eyes. I leaned over to David and loved the way he draped his arm around me in response. “But if I were to quit for a boy, it would’ve been this one.”
“I’d never ask you to,” David reminded me, and I looked at him and smiled.
“Yeah, and that’s why I would have quit for you.”
“Do we get to celebrate this new chapter?” Violet asked. “Because I would love a slice of pie.”
“You don’t need a reason for pie,” David said. “Pie is the reason for pie.”
The way Violet smiled at him when he said that had my heart doing happy little backflips in my chest.
“I think we’ll keep you around, David. You get it.”
“You just got the scary big sister stamp of approval.” I kissed David on the cheek. “How do you feel?”
He met my gaze. He turned slightly so he was facing me a little more and he cupped my cheek. “I feel like you should get the lemon pie, and I’ll get the chocolate pie, and we can share is how I feel.”
“Did you fall out of my wildest dreams?” I asked, unable to hide the sappy, moony expression.
I was totally, sickeningly, head over heels for this man.
And he’d been nothing short of wonderful, especially where Violet was concerned.
Not only had he not held a grudge, but he’d been willing to meet her again and had tried to give her an out so she could pretend that nothing had happened.
“That’s funny, because I’ve sometimes wondered if you fell out of mine.”
“You two are really cute in a sugar rush sort of way. It’s a little nauseating actually.”
“I agree.” Hannah laughed and clinked her glass against Violet’s.
“Thanks. Love you too.”
Dessert had been so good that David ordered a couple of slices of pie to go and had tucked them away in the fridge for later after we’d returned to his place.
Too full to move, or breathe, we’d curled up on the couch together and I’d attempted to watch a movie with him, but sleep dragged me under. I didn’t realize it until David was hoisting me up into his arms.
“Whu?” I tried to question him, but I wasn’t exactly coherent yet.
“It’s late. I’m taking you to bed.”
“Ooh. Bed. I like bed.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. The more awake my brain got, the more awake my body felt and the more it liked being pressed against David.
“Today was good,” I told him as we entered his room.
The landing onto the bed wasn’t the smoothest, but he managed not to drop me, so that was something.
“Today was great, but it could be better.”
“Oh?” I tried to get my body into a seductive pose, but I felt groggy and uncoordinated, and I wasn’t sure I managed. “How could it be better?” I asked, pretending that I looked hot and alluring and not at all as awkward as I felt.
“Well, if you agreed to move in with me, that could improve things some.”
“Just some?” I arched an eyebrow even as my pulse sprinted through my body. I’d never lived with another person before, but I couldn’t imagine going even a day without him now.
“Just a touch. Maybe a little. Like two on a scale of one to ten.” His jokes did nothing to hide how serious he was about this and how much he wanted it.
I knew he wanted it because his hands trembled as hard as mine did.
His eyes were wide, how mine felt. I wondered if his heart felt as light and frantic as mine?
If it beat like the wings of a hummingbird.
“I want you here with me, all the time. You and Nitro.”
“Say please,” I demanded, unable to stop the way I smiled like I’d been handed the winning lottery ticket. “Say please,” I said again, afraid that he didn’t understand me.
“Please. I’ll beg if I have to.”
“You don’t have to beg, though you can if you want to.”
“I’d beg you every day for the rest of my life if you wanted me to.”
Suddenly David was right there, kneeling over me, crowding me against the mattress.
Heat radiated off his body, and I gave in to the temptation to touch him.
Because I could do that. Because we were in love and he wanted me to live with him.
He wanted to create a life with me. And more than anything, I wanted that too.
“Of course I’ll move in. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“I like the sound of that.”
David closed the distance between us. A thigh planted itself between mine and he lowered himself down.
His mouth brushed over mine, and he kissed me like I was the most precious thing on the planet.
Like I was worthy of love and adoration.
Worthy of him and a life by his side. I wanted those things to be true more than anything.
And once upon a time, I might not have believed myself to be worthy. River might not have believed it, but I wasn’t River anymore. I was Josh, and Josh believed he was allowed to be happy. And horny.
And loved.