Chapter 9
The next morning, I woke with sunlight streaming through the paper-thin curtains.
I jumped out of bed and walked straight to the mirror.
Here, I looked tanned. My white skin had a slight golden glow, and already there were new freckles on my nose.
I’d washed my hair the night before and now it was an explosion of blonde curls that just about reached my jawline.
I stared at the sparkling stud in my nose.
It didn’t look right here. Not without all my usual make-up.
Maybe it never looked right. I took it out.
I checked my phone to see if Priya, Ari or Theo had replied. But there was nothing. So I left it on my bed, knowing that if I took it with me, I’d be checking it all day.
Everyone was still asleep. So I decided to go for a walk.
My mind drifted back to Felix and the thought of our date later on.
I’d noticed that so many of my thoughts brought me back to him.
Like my brain was giving itself a soft landing after torturing itself with things from home.
So, naturally, when I went outside, into the warm morning air, I found myself at the Brasserie.
It was busy already, with families getting breakfast and single people at tables sipping miniature cups of coffee.
I slowed down and looked for Felix. But I didn’t have to look too hard.
There he was, cleaning a table in his white shirt and black trousers.
The shirt was rolled up at the elbows and I just watched him for a second.
My stomach fluttered when the image of him kissing my hand yesterday filled my head.
‘Margot!’ he called when he saw me, his face all lit up. He pushed his hair back, as if he was trying to get a better look at me as he walked over.
‘Salut,’ I said.
‘Salut.’ Felix leaned over and kissed me gently on each cheek, lingering on the second one.
I breathed him in. It was that smell again – lavender, vanilla, but with something deep and rich underneath that made me want to bury my head in his neck.
But I resisted. ‘You have come for breakfast?’ he asked.
And I hesitated, because I couldn’t explain why I’d come. I’d gone for a walk and ended up here. ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Everyone in my family is still asleep.’
‘It is their holiday, non?’ Felix smiled, then held up one finger.
‘One minute. Wait there.’ Felix ran towards the bar and disappeared behind it.
He came jogging back to me holding a paper bag.
‘Un chausson aux pommes. It was the last one. I hope you like apples. And also des croissants, un pain au chocolat et un pain au raisin. But you should have the chausson.’ He handed me the bag and it was warm.
The smell of pastry, sugar and sweet apple escaped from the paper, and I closed my eyes and breathed it in.
‘It smells amazing. Thank you. And I’ll see you later? What time?’ I asked.
‘I will be finished around seven if you want to meet me here?’ he asked. I looked behind him to see Yves staring in our direction. I leaned in to kiss Felix on both cheeks before I left.
Rue and Wren were waiting for me outside when I got back.
‘Margot! Are you excited to come surfing with us?’ Wren asked with a big smile on her face.
‘Of course.’
I wasn’t. I was worried about that surf guy. I wondered how he would cope with Rue and her balance issues. He’d seemed great with those other kids we saw, but I don’t think any of them had a disability. A visible one anyway.
‘What’s that?’ Rue poked the bag I was holding.
‘None of your business.’ I snatched it away from her.
‘It smells so good!’
I took the chausson aux pommes out of the paper bag and held it to my nose, breathing it in again before taking a huge bite. ‘Oh my God, it’s so good.’ Pieces of pastry flew out of my mouth and Rue’s face was a picture.
‘Give me a bit.’
I handed them the bag and they dived into it like vultures.
‘It won’t be long before your lesson. Make sure you’re ready in thirty minutes,’ I said.
Mum was drinking coffee inside when I went in.
‘I’ve been very lazy today, Margot. I’m only just up!’ Mum smiled sheepishly.
‘Sure, it’s a holiday, isn’t it?’ I repeated Felix’s words and smiled at Mum, before sitting down beside her.
‘Are you having fun, love? I know this isn’t the kind of holiday you want to go on at your age. Your dad knows that too. And I know you have your boyfriend at home, but it’s just that we miss you and we’d like to spend time with you –’
‘Mum,’ I said, cutting her off. ‘I am having a good time. I think. Sort of. And I might be going on a date tonight.’ A smile appeared automatically when I said it.
‘A date? With who? But wait, I thought you were – I mean, you and Theo?’ Mum asked carefully.
I shook my head.
‘Oh, I’m sorry, love.’ She reached for my hand then seemed to change her mind and picked up her coffee cup again.
I missed these moments with Mum. I used to come home from school and tell her all my gossip.
We’d sit in the kitchen with hot chocolate and talk about everyone at school. I guess I just grew up.
‘It’s OK. Or it will be. But anyway, yeah, the boy from the bar, Felix. He asked me on a date. He’s really nice, I think you’d like him.’
‘He sounds handsome,’ Mum said, with a raise of her eyebrows.
I burst out laughing. ‘He is.’
‘Maybe we could meet him?’ she asked tentatively.
‘He’d probably like that.’
I went into my bedroom and spent the next while lying on my bed, thinking about Felix and our mystery date.
Maybe this holiday wouldn’t be so bad after all.
I picked up my phone. No message from Priya.
I thought about sending another one. And also thought about deleting the one I’d already sent when my phone buzzed in my hand.
PRIYA: Hey stranger …
I automatically put my hand over my mouth. She’d written back! My eyes filled immediately, which surprised me. I’d missed Priya. Of course I had, but even I didn’t know how much.
ME: How are you? How is life? Update me!
PRIYA: Well, swimming hasn’t been as good since you left, but I’m actually going out with Calvin now, so I guess that’s kind of cool …
ME: OMG what? Can I call?
PRIYA: OK
I was shaking when I pressed the video call button. And then there she was. Her perfect Priya big brown eyes, black hair and white teeth filling my screen.
‘Hey,’ I said, because I didn’t know what else to say.
‘Hey. Where are you?’
‘France, with my family. We’re here for four weeks.’ I rolled my eyes.
‘Wish my parents would take me on a four-week holiday.’ Priya laughed but it was a guarded sort of laugh. Not like the way she used to.
‘So … Calvin?’ I grinned. ‘When did that start?’
‘Like six months ago. It’s made practice way more interesting anyway …’
‘Priya …’
‘No. Margot, don’t. Not yet.’ Like she knew exactly what I was going to say.
I felt my face flush with embarrassment. ‘OK,’ I agreed. I had to take her lead, that much I did know. ‘Thanks for not ghosting me.’
‘I thought about it. It was actually Cal who convinced me.’ Priya smiled slightly when she said his name. Like she couldn’t help it.
‘I guess we have a lot to catch up on …’ I said, as sadness filled my gut.
‘Yeah. Hey, I better go, my mum is calling me.’
‘OK, P. Speak soon.’
‘Bye.’
‘Bye.’
And I didn’t know how I felt. Empty? I thought if I just talked to Priya, everything would be fixed. But it was weird, and kind of awkward. I mean, I got it, of course I did. It was my fault. Not hers. I guess I’d made my bed.
I zoned out watching TikTok videos for a few minutes, then it was time to take Rue and Wren to the beach. I was kind of hoping Mum and Dad would take them, but Rue insisted that only I was allowed to go.
Rue talked non-stop on the way there. She was so excited. It was quite a long walk for her, and Mum had convinced her to wear her splints, so they were probably rubbing in the heat, but you wouldn’t know.
‘You OK?’ I asked.
‘I’m fine!’ Rue almost shouted back as we arrived at the beach half an hour before the lesson, like we’d been told. The sand was full of sunbathers and there were groups of kids learning how to surf in the water.
I squinted in the sun towards the beach hut by the sand dunes. Wren stood beside me as Rue walked on ahead. I could see the surf guy Antoine talking to some other dude, surrounded by kids messing around.
When we got to the hut, Rue could barely contain herself with excitement. She went straight up to Antoine and tapped him on the back.
He pretended to be scared, and she laughed. So did Wren, but she was still stuck to my side.
‘My surfers are here!’ Antoine grinned. I watched him glance at Rue’s legs, where the pink splints stabilized her lower legs. ‘One minute.’
Antoine looked up at me briefly as he came over. He was wearing black board shorts today with his aviators. That was it.
He bent down to talk to Wren. ‘You are excited for your lesson?’
‘I’m a bit scared,’ Wren admitted, twisting her foot in the sand.
‘Ah non! Do not be scared. I will be here all the time to make sure that you are safe. Safety is very important to me. The most important thing.’ Antoine smiled so warmly that it felt like a completely different person who had been so rude to me.
‘You promise?’ Wren asked. I could tell that she’d relaxed from her smile.
‘Cross my heart.’ He traced over his heart with his finger. ‘Croix de bois, croix de fer, si je mens, je vais en enfer.’ And Wren tried to repeat it.
‘Are you ready?’ Rue asked, tapping Antoine again, this time on the shoulder. He spun round.
‘Almost.’ He stood up, walked over to me, took my arm and led me a few metres down the beach.
I thought about wrenching my arm away, but for some reason, I liked how it felt.
The shock of some kind of current rushing through my whole body when he touched me.
He let go when we were away from all the kids but surrounded by sunbathers.
‘Your sister. She has les attelles.’ Antoine motioned to his legs.