Chapter 12
Back at the beach with Rue and Wren later that morning, I sat alone on the sand, just watching Antoine with the girls.
He’d taken them into the water today, and was so good with Rue, helping her balance, making her laugh.
He made it look so easy. I remembered when Mum and Dad asked me to help teach Rue how to ride her bike and we almost killed each other.
‘Did you see me?’ Rue pushed soaking-wet hair from her face as she walked up the beach towards me with Wren an hour later.
‘Yeah, you were brilliant.’ I smiled. ‘And you too, Wren.’
They wrapped themselves in towels and chased each other while Antoine came over to talk to me.
‘You were up early. I thought you might have changed your mind and be resting now,’ he said. He sat down on the sand beside me, so close that I could feel the coolness of his T-shirt from the water. Millimetres from me, both of us staring out at the ocean.
‘I said I’d be here. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were so strict with everyone, or if it was just me.’ I turned away so he didn’t catch my smirk.
‘Different methods for different students,’ he said.
‘So you’re saying I need the drill-sergeant approach?’
He grinned at that. Briefly, before being serious again – of course. ‘I think you have potential. And potential can be wasted if there is too much … being gentle.’
‘But how do you know? I haven’t even been in the water yet.’
‘I do not need the water to see a surfer.’ Antoine pulled himself up.
‘The bonfire. You will be here?’ I nodded.
He held out a hand to help me up. I took it, and I felt his touch surge through my body like electricity.
‘You should not stay out too late. Serious surfers do not stay out late before dawn sessions.’
And that surge of electricity? It hit a power cut, as the irritation of him telling me what to do again took over.
‘à bient?t,’ he added before he left, giving me no chance to reply.
I stared after him for a second before letting my eyes find my sisters.
‘Rue! Wren! Time to go.’ I was ravenous, and was desperately hoping that Mum and Dad had bought a fresh baguette from the shop.
As we walked past the Brasserie, I heard my name. But it wasn’t Felix.
‘Over here, Margot!’
I scanned the crowded bar, and there were Mum and Dad, sitting at a table with tiny cups of coffee in front of them.
I walked over, followed by Rue and Wren.
‘Fancy an early lunch here today, girls?’ Dad smiled and stood up to look for more chairs. ‘We were watching out for when you came past.’
‘I’m starving!’ said Rue. Dad pushed a chair in behind her, pleased.
‘Me too,’ said Wren.
‘Me three.’ The restaurant was already buzzing, and I glanced around briefly to spot Felix.
I saw him talking to a family, waving his hands and talking enthusiastically.
Those hands that held me as we kissed. My stomach did a rollercoaster flip.
I turned just in time to see Rue taking the piss out of me by doing a ridiculous kissing face at Wren, who burst into laughter.
I sighed dramatically, while Mum looked at them endearingly. ‘So how was surfing?’ Mum clasped her hands together and stared between Rue and Wren.
‘Amazing!’ Rue said. ‘Antoine said I was a natural, like Margot.’ Rue beamed with pride.
I couldn’t suppress my smile – for both of us. ‘He said that?’
‘Yep. I am amazing. He said that there are special competitions for people with disabilities too.’
‘That’s wonderful, love. It is safe, isn’t it?’ Mum looked at me and I nodded, still basking in the glow of what Rue had said.
‘Antoine is with them the whole time, they don’t go deep,’ I reassured her.
‘You were surfing too?’ Dad took a sip of wine and found my eyes.
‘Yeah, I mean, just on the sand so far, but I think I’d like to keep doing it.’ I looked down at the menu to try to hide the blush that was threatening to engulf my face.
‘You are ready to order?’
That voice.
Felix. Soft and warm, with the most perfect accent. I looked up to see him, eyes on me, white shirt pulled up at the sleeve, exposing tanned forearms. He smiled.
‘Felix, this is my family. Rue, Wren, my mum and dad,’ I said, more awkwardly than I’d wanted. ‘Mum, Dad, this is my friend Felix.’
Felix shook Dad’s hand, then proceeded to kiss the cheeks of mum, Rue and Wren, who dissolved into giggles.
‘You are enjoying Biarritz?’ Felix asked Mum and Dad.
‘Oh yes, it’s lovely, although we haven’t done much exploring yet,’ Mum replied. She pushed some hair behind her ear. Was Felix making her nervous? I sat back and watched the exchange.
‘Oh you must explore. I will give Margot the name of a restaurant in Bayonne for you. It is perfect.’
‘Well that would be lovely, but with the girls, we tend to eat in restaurants that serve pizza,’ Mum said, laughing.
And then it just came out. ‘Maybe you and Dad could go out and I’ll stay with the girls?’ I offered.
‘And Felix can stay with us too,’ Rue added, and I felt my face flush. ‘He can teach me French.’ Rue grinned at him and Felix smiled.
‘Bien s?r. Of course,’ he said, translating for her.
I looked at Mum and Dad, who seemed delighted with the plan.
We ordered our food, and while we were waiting, Felix tapped me on the shoulder, before leaning in to whisper in my ear. ‘Can I speak with you a moment?’
I stood up and followed Felix to a quiet space beside the bar.
‘I am sorry if that was too much, meeting your family and telling them about the restaurant.’ Felix’s hand was in his hair, and I reached up and took it, bringing it down and holding it in mine between us.
‘Don’t worry, Rue has already invited you to our house and I think my mum and dad were enchantés,’ I said.
‘Oh, and I had my first surf lesson,’ I added, and I couldn’t help myself from smiling at the memory of impressing Antoine with my ocean-watching.
I’d been looking forward to telling Felix all about it.
‘Oh yeah?’ Felix moved to wipe a table. And that hollowed-out feeling of disappointment was back. The one that showed up when I expected someone to react differently. Like I’d had it all decided in my head, then it was the total opposite.
‘Yeah. Just on the sand, but maybe tomorrow I can go in the water.’ I was struggling to keep up the excited tone I’d led with.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ Felix asked, still not looking at me. What was this? Was he not interested? In the surfing … or me?
‘Yeah, I loved it. But some girl, Lili I think her name was, she invited me to a bonfire at the beach tonight with the surf school. Maybe we could go together?’ I felt weird now.
Uncomfortable, self-conscious. He was wringing out the cloth in his hands.
Hard. So hard the muscles in his forearms tensed.
‘Antoine Laurent’s surf school?’
I nodded. ‘You know him?’
‘Biarritz is not a big place. But those parties, they can be un peu intense.’ He made a face to himself that I couldn’t read and shook his head.
‘Oh, OK. Are you sure?’ I asked, my stomach lurching at the ‘no’ he’d given me so quickly. ‘It’s not until later, so maybe you’ll change your mind.’ I smiled playfully.
‘Not tonight. Sorry,’ he said simply.
‘Is everything OK?’ I asked, struck by his sudden change of mood.
‘Tomorrow, I have time off work. If you are free, I would like to show you Saint-Jean-de-Luz, the town where my mother sells soap, if you remember?’ Felix looked at me hopefully.
‘I’d like that,’ I said. It made sense about the party, I guess – he’d have been working all day and evening. He’d probably be too tired. He’d asked me out tomorrow. It was fine.
‘I should get back to work. But I will see you tomorrow? At ten?’
‘You will see me at ten,’ I said, nodding. ‘Meet here?’ He grinned, and his uncomfortable reaction to the bonfire felt like a distant memory.
‘Bon. And, Margot? There was something else I wanted to say to you.’ He scanned the restaurant, before turning to me again.
I inhaled and looked into the brown eyes that were flecked with gold. ‘Yeah?’
‘Last night at les tournesols … I have lived here my whole life. I have seen so many sunsets. But not one was as beautiful as it was when you were with me … and I know you are only here for the summer, but I want you to know that you are already important to me.’
I couldn’t help but feel elated as the words flooded my body, filling the hollow with a relief that cascaded right through me.
I took his hand again and squeezed it, had a brief look around to make sure Mum and Dad weren’t looking, then kissed him gently, my hand on his jaw, and I felt him relax into me, our mouths in sync, the buzz of the restaurant fading into nothing.
‘And, Margot,’ he added again, like he’d forgotten something. ‘I am not asking for promises. I know better than that. I just do not want to waste the time we have, pretending that it is just for the summer. It already feels like something more to me.’
Worry filled his eyes. Like he’d said something horribly wrong. But his words made my whole body warm, a warmth that had nothing to do with the heat of the sun. It was a heat that grew from inside, spreading through my veins like an antidote to a sickness.
‘Margot!’ Rue’s voice called across the restaurant. ‘Food!’
I looked round, before looking back at Felix.
‘It feels like that to me too.’ I kissed him gently again, squeezed his hand and walked back to my family, knowing in that moment that something had changed. The warm air fizzed with excitement. With possibility and understanding. Whatever happened next, we could discover it together.