Chapter 13
The sun had already set when I followed the path to the beach for the bonfire that evening. It looked different in the dark. Less like paradise, more like the murder spot in a crime documentary. I walked faster.
I heard a ‘Merde!’ but couldn’t see anything. Then, when I turned the corner, there was Delphine, hunched down on the sand, fidgeting with her flip-flop.
‘Are you OK?’ I asked.
‘Mes tongs sont cassées,’ Delphine replied without looking up at me.
‘Your flip-flops?’ I bent down beside her. ‘I have spare ones at the mobile home. I could get them if you like?’ I offered, ignoring her cold tone and deliberate French.
She hesitated, like my niceness had shocked her. It had shocked me too. The rage that had consumed me at the start of the holiday had completely faded. Delphine stopped fidgeting with the flip-flop and looked like she was considering her answer. ‘Thank you, but no, it is OK.’
She took off her flip-flops and threw them into the darkness to get lost in the reeds.
We started walking again. And the silence was uncomfortable until she broke it.
‘Tu es avec Felix?’ She didn’t even turn to look at me when she asked.
‘Now?’ I clarified. I looked around to show her that he wasn’t there.
‘Non.’ She shook her head. Irritated. ‘You and Felix. It is serious?’
What was I supposed to say to that?
‘I don’t know,’ I said awkwardly. I wished he was here tonight.
I’d thought about sending him a message and asking him again to come with me, but I remembered how he’d shut it down so quickly before, so I didn’t.
I settled on sending him a gif of puppies instead, before immediately cringing at how immature it looked.
But he sent one back, right away, even cuter than mine.
‘Why do you not know?’ Delphine asked.
‘Why are you asking?’ I said, irritated. She was with Lili so I had no idea why she was so concerned about me and Felix.
She muttered something in French and all I could pick out was ‘Antoine’ and les filles de l’été. Summer girls.
‘And you’re with Lili?’ I clarified.
She snorted. ‘Oui.’ She extended the oui like I’d said something really stupid.
As we turned the corner, I saw it. The fire burned bright orange in the night, and there were teenagers everywhere – sitting on the sand, standing in groups, huddled around some guy with a guitar. I took a photo of the silhouettes and sent it to Priya as Delphine walked on ahead.
ME: French beach parties / Irish beach parties? Hope you’re doing something fun tonight x
I couldn’t believe I was here by myself.
This wasn’t the kind of thing I usually did.
I’d spent the last year doing things as a trio with Ari and Theo.
But here? It was like a different world, and I was so intrigued.
By the beach, by the surfers, by Antoine.
I didn’t even want to think it, not after my date with Felix, and our kiss, but there was something that drew me to Antoine.
Kind of like the first time Ari had given me beer.
I hated it. Horrible. Bitter. Couldn’t stand it.
But when I tried it again, there was something I liked about it, and there was something about it that kept bringing me back.
As I walked towards the bonfire, I could just see the surf hut down the beach.
I scanned the crowd for him, but could barely make out anyone specific in the darkness.
‘Wohoo!’ Delphine shouted and ran towards the group, who cheered when they saw her getting close. I hung back, walking slowly, starting to feel less brave.
‘Margot!’
A figure bounded towards me. Big, skinny, loud. ‘Margot!’
Sébastian.
He had a huge grin on his face when he reached me. ‘I am so happy you came to le feu,’ Sébastian said. He threw his arms round me, then let go. ‘This is how you say hello in Ireland? A hug?’
I laughed. ‘Sometimes.’
Then he leaned forward and kissed both my cheeks. ‘And we do this in France.’
His blonde hair was tied in a top knot, and he was wearing shorts and a black shirt that was open the whole way down.
‘Is Antoine here?’ I asked as we walked slowly towards the bonfire. It had just come out. I hadn’t planned it. But it made sense that I’d look for him as, out of everyone here, he was the one I knew the best.
‘Of course Antoine is here. Le flic de la plage.’ Sébastian, unfazed by my question, nudged me and I stumbled. ‘Margot, I am sorry! We will walk like this instead.’ Sébastian threw one arm round my shoulders and pulled me close to him.
I laughed. ‘What’s le flic?’ I asked.
‘The cops. Police! Antoine thinks he is beach police,’ he explained.
‘Is that why he’s so strict about not going into the water during first lessons?’
‘Yes. But Antoine is boring. I am much more intéressant,’ Sébastian said.
‘Oh yeah?’
‘Yes!’
We were so close to the bonfire that I could feel the heat of it on my face. The guy with the guitar was singing as well as playing. Something in French. Sébastian took my hand and made me spin in the sand.
‘Dance with me, Margot!’ he said, and I hated dancing but couldn’t help but laugh as he gave me a big goofy smile.
‘Arrêtez de traumatiser la nouvelle!’ Lili appeared beside me and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from Sébastian. ‘Are you OK, Margot? He is like a little puppy. Too much excitement. Le surexcité.’ Lili smiled at Sébastian, who laughed back.
‘C’est pas ma faute. Je suis irrésistible!’ he called.
‘He is not irresistible,’ Lili whispered in my ear. ‘And it is always his fault!’ she shouted back at him.
Lili took my hand and led me towards a little group of teenagers. One that contained Delphine.
‘Laissez-moi vous présenter Margot!’ Lili said. I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had been wet, but her hair was even curlier than mine and sat in dark ringlets on her shoulders. She was wearing denim shorts and a T-shirt with the surf school logo.
A few of the group gave me a nod and Delphine whispered something to the boy she was standing beside. He laughed.
‘Bon!’ Lili said. She reached down to a cool box at her feet and handed me a can of beer. I opened it, thankful for something to concentrate on.
‘Tu es canon dans cette robe.’ Lili flicked the lacey part at the bottom of my dress.
‘Canon?’ I asked.
‘Hot,’ said a voice behind me. A familiar voice that sent a shiver up my spine. ‘She said that you look hot in that dress, Princesse.’
I turned to see Antoine looking at me, words stuck in my throat and butterflies from nowhere filling my stomach. White shirt wide open, board shorts, dark hair sticking up like it had just dried after being in the sea.
Lili leaned up and whispered something in Antoine’s ear, but he didn’t take his eyes off me as she did.
‘C’est pas mon problème,’ Antoine said as Lili walked back towards Delphine, whose group had moved to the other side of the bonfire.
‘Alors, Princesse. Welcome to your first beach fire party. I hope you have a good time.’
And he did something to me. Scrambled the thoughts in my head, and I couldn’t get any words out.
And with that Antoine walked away towards the beach hut, leaving me standing there, alone, with my beer.