Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen: Sud
The weeks fly by. Noi practically lives in the library, studying for exams. My theater professor exempted me from my theater final since working on performing a scene with the others would cut into my time rehearsing for the series in workshops.
I’m thankful, because I have plenty of other exams to worry about.
Noi continues to find time to tutor me in math, and we do workshops twice a week now that we’ve started filming for the trailer on Saturdays.
Last week, we did extra skinship for a scene that ends with a kiss.
Not like the kiss we did at the audition, but a passionate kiss.
We haven’t tried doing it yet, but we’ve done a lot of staring into each other’s eyes and touching.
It’s weird. I mean, it’s work and it’s easy because it’s Noi, but it’s still something we’ve never done in our relationship. I mean friendship, not relationship.
Koman plops down in the chair beside me in the theater where I’m studying. Glancing at my textbook, he says in English, “What’s up?”
“What do you mean?” I ask in Thai. I can read and write in English okay, but I don’t speak it very well. Noi’s much better at it.
“You’re sitting here by yourself, shaking your head like you’re trying to rattle something loose,” Koman says, still speaking English. “Are you falling behind because of the acting?”
“No.”
“What, then?”
I need someone to talk to, and I figure that, next to Noi, Koman is my best friend.
“This whole thing—being in a ship with Noi. It’s messing with my head.”
“What do you mean?” Koman asks.
“Would you stop with the English, so I don’t have to decode everything you say?”
“Sorry,” he says in Thai. “I’m practicing for a trip I’m taking to New York City in the summer. Explain to me how it’s messing with your head.”
“Noi and I have known each other a long time, and—“
“He lived with you, right?”
“Yeah. Since we were six.”
Taking a bottled drink from his backpack, Koman opens it and takes several swallows. “I guess that makes him more like a brother than a friend.”
“Not really. I don’t think of him the same way I think of my little brother, Ten. But having lived with him for so long does make it pretty easy to do all the skinship stuff with him, which, if you remember, was the whole reason I needed him to do it with me in the first place.”
“Skinship. That’s all the touching and kissing, right?”
“Right.”
Turning in his seat so he can look me in the eyes, Koman asks, “What’s that like? Is it gross? I mean, it’s got to be, especially for a ladies’ man like you.”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “I’m not a ladies’ man.”
“Yes, you are. Before you became a monk, you had girls all over you.”
“You mean when I realized I was going to flunk out of my first year at university if I didn’t start taking it seriously? You of all people know how much time a relationship takes, and I don’t have it right now.”
Koman’s phone buzzes with a text—undoubtedly from Waan, which underlines my point. He types something back before slipping his phone into his backpack and returning his attention to me.
“Okay, I get it. So, you’re bothered by the ew factor of acting all lovey-dovey with your best friend. Is it ruining your friendship or something? I guess that makes sense.”
“Would you just shut up a minute so I can tell you myself what’s bugging me?” Sighing, I struggle to form words for my recent feelings.
“First, for the most part, kissing Noi is just like kissing a girl.”
Koman makes a face.
Ignoring him, I continue, “And, no, it isn’t ruining our friendship. But it is an adjustment. I mean, it’s going smoothly and all, but like I said, it’s messing with my head. For instance, do you know P’Wisit?”
“Of course. Who doesn’t?”
“Yeah. Well, he’s been spending an awful lot of time talking to Noi the last several weeks. I mean, why would he give so much of his attention to a first-year student?”
Koman shrugs. “I guess there could be a lot of reasons. Are you saying you’re jealous?”
I nod.
Koman frowns. “And?”
“And…don’t you think that’s weird? That I’m jealous? I don’t get jealous when Noi talks to other people.”
“Noi doesn’t talk to other people,” Koman says.
“But I don’t think it’s weird. My best friend stayed in our hometown to go to school, and lately he’s been talking about this guy he’s been hanging out with.
Makes me wonder if our friendship isn’t important to him anymore, you know?
I’d say being jealous is normal between friends. ”
I think about that. “I guess so. Maybe it’s because I’ve always watched over Noi and feel protective of him, so I consider this senior who comes out of nowhere a threat.”
Koman and I have talked about this before, after he noticed how I insist on walking Noi back to his dorm at night and how I check on him frequently.
I told him my protectiveness is because Noi’s na?ve, and I need to watch out for him.
There’s more to it, though. No one knows except for me and my family.
Not even Noi. At least, not consciously.
“I don’t think P’Wisit is the type to hurt Mee Noi. Maybe they just have something in common,” Koman says. “What does Mee Noi say? You’ve asked him, right?”
“He just thinks P’Wisit is watching out for him, but that doesn’t make any sense.
They’re not even in the same faculty.” Could I have imagined the way P’Wisit looked at Noi?
I’m pretty sure he was dating a girl at the beginning of the year.
“Have you ever seen him with a guy? I mean, like, dating one?” I ask Koman.
“What? No. But I have seen him with at least a dozen girls. I think you’re worried for nothing.” Koman’s phone buzzes again, and he pulls it out of his backpack and checks it.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense I would feel threatened by another guy trying to take my best friend away from me. Noi and I are tight, and I’ve never had to compete for his attention before.
“I’ve got to go, Waan’s waiting for me. See you later.” Koman stuffs his empty drink bottle into his backpack and hurries out of the theater.
Since it’s close to time to meet Noi for lunch, I pack up my stuff and start for the canteen.
On the walk there, I run through my conversation with Koman again.
I can’t really see P’Wisit taking my place in Noi’s life.
They’re nothing alike—P’Wisit’s involved in a lot of activities and shit that Noi wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
What have they got in common? Maybe Noi’s right about him just being nice.
It could be a club thing, like something to do with helping out juniors.
As I draw close to the canteen, I hitch the strap of my bag higher on my shoulder and step out of the stream of students heading for various food stalls so I can scan the crowded area for Noi.
Our usual table’s full, and I don’t see him there.
Finally, I spot him at a table a little farther away, sitting with P’Wisit.
Noi’s backpack is beside him, and I know he’s using it to save me a seat, but he isn’t watching for me.
His attention is fully on whatever P’Wisit is saying to him.
The annoyance I’ve been feeling concerning P’Wisit returns tenfold. What is it about the way he looks at Noi that makes me feel like punching something?
My phone dings with a text message from Koman.
Waan says P’Wisit is bisexual. He had a boyfriend last year.
I freeze. My instincts were right.
I should tell Noi. I’m sure he has no idea. He can make it plain to P’Wisit that he isn’t interested.
How do you know he’s not interested?
Fuck this. I’m too wound up to eat, particularly if I have to watch P’Wisit staring at Noi the whole time. Turning, I head out of the canteen.
“Ai Sud! Wait!” Noi stops beside me wearing a bewildered frown. “Where are you going? Didn’t you see me? You were looking my way, and I’ve been waving at you from the table. I got here late and couldn’t find a place at ours.”
“So, you went to sit with P’Wisit?” I ask.
“No, he sat down with me after I chose a seat. I was waiting for you.”
“You do realize that P’Wisit is interested in you, don’t you?”
“Sud, we already talked about this.”
“Yeah, we did. You told me he’s just being friendly. But I think he’s interested in you in a different way. Did you know he’s bisexual?”
I watch Noi process the information. “No. But I still think you’re wrong. If he wanted to date me, he would have said so by now.”
“He asked you to go to the night market with him. More than once.”
“Sure, but not for a date!”
“Open your eyes, Noi. You’re being na?ve.” I turn to leave. “See you later—I have some stuff I forgot to do.”
“But what about lunch?” he calls after me.
“I’m not hungry anymore,” I mumble to myself, not looking back.