Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen: Sud
Two days later, Noi and I are called in to film the first part of the love scene that will go in the trailer.
Although P’Arm filmed us then, it’s nothing like having two cameramen and the sound guy hovering only feet away from us, like they are this time.
Noi and I have to kiss each other with them right there.
A few times we are forced to readjust the way we’re positioned so one of our arms or hands or noses, or even a chunk of our hair, won’t block the shot.
The upside is we don’t have time to be embarrassed because we are too busy trying to stay in character while not straying out of frame.
The scriptwriter added a part where, when Train pushes Sound onto the bed, he rips Sound’s shirt open.
We have to film that part three times, using a new shirt for each take.
I can see the worry in Noi’s eyes about going through so many shirts, and the director, P’Tee, must have noticed too because he tells Noi not to worry about it, that it’s expected, and someone will just sew the buttons on again.
They’re sewn on loosely anyway, for easy ripping.
The tension in the room is thick, but I do my best to appear relaxed, hoping Noi will relax, too.
When Noi, as Train, kisses his way up my chest—I mean Sound’s chest—it feels different somehow. More intimate than when we rehearsed it. Noi’s actions are more sultry, flirtatious. Maybe P’Arm discussed this with him before we started.
The kisses feel different, too. I’m left with an odd, unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach that lasts for days.
The filming of this scene signaled a break in work for us until after final exams.
In the following weeks, Noi and I are so busy studying that we don’t see each other much, and I think maybe that’s for the best. I miss him, but I can’t get how I felt when we filmed the bedroom scene for the trailer out of my mind.
Noi’s my best friend. It’s not like I’ve never had tender feelings for him before, but accompanied with passionate kisses, it felt like so much more.
This isn’t the jealousy I explained away with Koman’s help, this is genuine feelings that I’ve never experienced with Noi before.
And that’s just weird because…come on! I like girls.
I’ve always liked girls. They’re pretty and soft and smell good, and I get hard touching them.
Sure, Noi’s eyes are shiny and his lashes are long and dark, and his lips against mine have a pretty shape and feel just like a girl’s. And he’s always smelled good to me.
But Noi is not a girl.
At least I haven’t gotten hard during our scenes. That makes me feel a little better.
So, I’m okay with being away from Noi for a while, but when my math exam approaches, I need him to tutor me, and I can’t deny that being with him again feels awesome.
For two weeks, Noi comes to my apartment every night and grills me from the textbook.
Full-on skewers me and throws me over the fire.
He’s like a damn drill sergeant. I keep getting distracted, staring at his mouth and remembering the way it felt to kiss him, and he keeps slamming his hand on the table, startling me out of it.
And, thanks to him, I pass.
Exams are finally over and break officially begins.
***
I never talked to Noi about going to the night market with P’Wisit.
I know he did because he posted a couple of pictures of the stalls and food.
And P’Wisit, the fucker, posted a picture of him and Noi smiling at the camera that one of the Best Boys’ admins got a hold of and put on their site.
Now people are talking about them non-stop.
But I don’t say anything because I don’t want to bring up memories of our argument.
Noi scared me that day. He locked me out of the office, and I could hear him struggling to breathe on the other side of the door.
It was a panic attack, one that started so quickly I didn’t see it coming.
It’s been a long time since he had one of those, and I’m ashamed of being the one who caused it.
He’s right that it’s none of my business who he wants as a friend or…
more. I don’t want to hear about it, though.
I guess now I understand why Noi never asked me about my girlfriends.
I know this; no matter what, I’ll never leave Noi’s side. I’ll always be there for him.
When Koman brings up Noi and P’Wisit, I share these thoughts with him.
“Are you sure that’s how you feel? I mean, you kind of sound like a rejected lover to me.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, like he’s lost his mind.
“You sound like you’re in love with Mee Noi and have to watch, isolated in your pain, while he dates someone else,” he says.
“Wow, I can tell you’re a drama major. Anyway, fuck you. I just can’t talk romance with Noi, that’s all.”
“What about when it’s you who’s in a romantic relationship? Do you talk to him then?”
“No. I never have. It’s never felt right to do it. He’s never asked me about my dates, and he’s made it clear I don’t need to know about his.”
Koman shrugs. “Maybe it’s normal, then. For you two, anyway. Or…”
“Or what?” I ask.
“Or maybe neither of you want to hear about each other’s romantic lives because you’re jealous.”
He walks away right after he says it, so I can’t tell him how stupid that is.
Since it’s the longer break between years, students are taking a vacation or going home for a visit.
But for us the break means the beginning of filming Hearts Set on Fire.
Although P’Tar and P’Payu are the primary couple, which means they appear nearly twice as often as Noi and I do in the series, Noi and I are in almost all the rest of the scenes, and those are the ones being filmed over the summer months.
The characters are a tight friend group that’s always hanging out together, which means Noi and I are required to be on hand most of the time, particularly since something as basic as a change in the weather or a mistake in wardrobe could scramble the filming schedule.
We lounge around a lot, playing games with other cast members and sleeping on the beds on the sets.
My parents want Noi and me to come home for a visit, but there’s been no time. As an actor, Pah understands, but Mae thinks we should be able to work it out.
“It’s bad enough my husband and my son are both actors.
Why did you have to drag your nong into it, too?
“ she complained during our last phone conversation. I could only apologize and assure her that Noi’s enjoying the experience.
Of course, she doesn’t take my word for it.
She calls Noi, and he has to say the same thing and then promise we’ll both come to see them as soon as we get a break.
Sometimes P’Arm or P’Prapha work with us while we’re waiting until we’re needed, but today they are both involved with other actors, and Noi and I sit under a large umbrella while the crew set up an outdoor scene a few yards away.
Noi works on some complicated math puzzle for fun—an oxymoron if I ever heard one—while I scroll through my phone.
The Best Boys website has uploaded a lot of photos from the last few weeks of school, probably to tide people over during the long break.
There are several of me and Noi doing mundane things around the campus.
Most of the comments are about what a cute couple we’d make.
There are also photos of Noi and P’Wisit having bubble tea together on campus or just talking in a crowd.
Everyone has a cell phone, which means everyone has a camera.
My picture has been taken with several girls, which means our fans spend a lot of time talking about how I’m probably straight and Noi’s probably gay, and poor Noi—they hope he doesn’t develop feelings for me that I can’t return.
So silly.
Closing the Best Boys site, I go to the BL Fanatics message board, and after a moment of scanning, something catches my eye.
Gaybe2010: Rainbow TV has released a couple of additions to their lineup this year.
WuttheJenny: Who are the guys playing the secondary couple in TarPayu’s new series? They’re so cute!
PrinceGiftizreal @WuttheJenny: Check out RTV’s list of actors. It’s been updated. Their names and photos are on there.
WuttheJenny @Exofabulous: OMG, thanks!
Fawn_shipboys: Sud is so gorgeous!
Hikitty618 @PrinceGiftizreal: For f---‘s sake, get a new name already. Gift has moved on from that sleezebag Prince. SPPT let Prince go. He doesn’t even do bl anymore.
PrinceGiftizreal @Hikitty618: Doesn’t matter because, fyi, they’re together in secret.
Hikitty618 @PrinceGiftizreal: Wow, didn’t know there were any Prifters still around. You are seriously delulu if you buy into that crap about them meeting on the sly. Gift is totally happy with his new partner. Daeng is a changed man because of him.
RabbitSpinshppr @PrincGiftizreal: Wait, what??? Is that true? Prince and Gift are secretly together? OMG, my Prifter heart!
PrinceGiftizreal: Didn’t you see the picture Gift posted on his Insta in his apartment a week ago?
RabbitSpinshppr @PrinceGiftizreal: The one where he’s showing off his new watch?
PrinceGiftizreal @RabbitSpinshppr: Yeah, but look closely. Did you see the book on the table? Did you see the TITLE? (over one hundred likes)
RabbitSpinshppr @PrinceGiftizreal: OMG! The Little Prince!!!!!!!!
PrinceGiftizreal @RabbitSpinshppr: But that’s not all! Look at what’s beside it, actually touching the book.
RabbitSpinshppr @PrinceGiftizreal: It’s a wrapped gift! I’m crying! (six sobbing emojis)
PrinceGiftizreal @RabbitSpinshippr: And the piece of book that’s touching it is green! Prince’s favorite color!
Gunwookiesgrl: Please tell me what that means! I don’t get it!
RabbitSpinshppr @Gunwookiesgrl: A GIFT! Touching the book about a PRINCE! And it’s GREEN! He couldn’t be any plainer. He wants us loyal Prifters to know that he and Gift are together.