18. Eighteen
18
EIGHTEEN
PETER DAVIS
CIA Headquarters, August 2022
“ I ’m so sorry this happened to you, Eli,” I mumbled into her head. She had cried herself to sleep and it was almost scary to watch. I couldn’t get my mind to stop racing over every moment we spent together from the first day I met her. Were there any bruises, any marks on her that I missed? How could I miss the fact that her own father, the person she needed the most during the vulnerable teenager years, beat her every other day?
Either she was the best at hiding it or I was the worst agent in the world. Probably better if I send Oliver my resignation letter right away because I don’t deserve a position in his team.
All these years, all the moments I actually enjoyed our little challenge of who became the class’s best, I never had an idea that it was more than a ridiculous game for her.
Suddenly, I felt my stomach turn, but I managed to position her safely on a pillow before running towards the bathroom. Thankfully, I made it in time to empty my entire stomach into the toilet bowl, retching and struggling to breath with every passing second while all I could do was wait for it to be over.
It was my fault that Eli got beaten by her father.
If I wouldn’t have taken this stupid challenge so seriously and my fucking ego wouldn’t want this win, she would not have to endure the abuse she had.
It was my fault and I didn’t see how I would ever recover from this. How could she even share the same room with me, well knowing that my childish and unnecessary competitive behavior caused her so much pain.
“Peter?”
Hearing her voice so tender and innocent made me retch even more, and it wasn’t long that I heard the door open and the soft thuds of her crutches enter the room.
“Hey, are you okay?”
It was a metaphorical question because someone leaning over the toilet and violently emptying their stomach was clearly not okay, but I admired the concern, nonetheless.
My hand shot upwards, pressing the button for the flush so she didn’t have to see this disaster fully.
“I’m good,” I breathed out, but my stomach wasn’t done yet. I haven’t felt that sick in years, especially not because of guilt. One says that guilt feels like you swallowed hot metal and have to endure its slow procedure through your digestive system, and I never realized how accurate this actually was.
“You don’t look good. Can I get you something? Maybe water?”
“Water would be wonderful. Thanks, Eli.”
I heard her leaving the room, and for the first time in the past minutes, I could breathe. It didn’t stop the guilt gnawing on my insides, but for a moment, I could focus on the present. Eliana was with me in this room.
She was alive and okay.
At least as okay as someone can be who had to endure such a trauma her entire life.
“You don’t look okay, Peter. Maybe we should get you to med?” she asked as soon as she was standing next to my crouched form on the floor. She held a bottle of water between her thumb and index finger, the rest of the hand grabbing the crutch.
Shit.
I sent her to get me water, although she was on crutches. How can someone be that big of an idiot?!
Quickly, I jumped to my feet and grabbed the bottle out of her fingers.
“Are you good?” I asked, my voice shaking with concern.
“Me?” Her big eyes widened and a line appeared on her forehead when she looked at me in confusion .
“Yes, Cinnamon. Are you good?”
“I’m fine. You were the one vomiting into my toilet, so I think it’s valid that I’m confused why you’re ask me if I’m okay.”
My hand shot upwards until it cradled her face almost entirely before I shot her a fake smile. The last thing I needed right now was her being concerned about me. She had more things to take care of, a broken leg, for example.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and even though I tried my best to keep the smile alive, my eyes betrayed me when I felt them water.
“What are you sorry for, Peter?”
I watched her blink and every movement felt like I was stuck in slow motion. Her dark, long lashes touched her cheek just briefly and revealed the deer brown eyes I fell in love with on their way back up.
She was by far the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
And she was mine.
“Everything,” I said before leaning in and placing my lips on her forehead. Her body melted into mine and we stood like this for a moment, united in intimacy and merged into one entity.
“To be sorry for everything at once is a bit much, don’t you think, Goldie?”
The nickname made me smile into her forehead before I leaned back and locked my gaze with hers again.
“Goldie?” I asked with a smirk. One side of her mouth shot upwards and a mischievous swirl appeared behind her eyes.
“Yes. It’s fitting.”
“Why?”
Eli took her sweet time to look me up and down a couple of times, pretending that she hadn’t had the answer in her mind the entire time.
“Do you know what golden hour is?”
I nodded, but was still confused.
“It’s the most beautiful hour in the entire day, and it brings peace and beauty. I love sitting on the water and watching nature during that hour. I’ve never felt more happy than during this time. And you’re that for me, Peter. You’re peace, happiness, and freedom.”
Wow.
She probably saw my perplexed face, because it took her only a moment to burst into laughter. The sound alone would be able to cure cancer. I was sure of it.
“You look adorable when you’re speechless, Peter Davis.”
“It’s a rare occasion. Don’t get used to it.”
I used her signature answer against her.
Instead of answering she just shot me this smirk that weakened my knees every damn time.
“I still don’t get what you’re sorry for,” Eliana said after a few more moments of examining me.
“Let’s get back to bed, okay?” I suggested. If we had this conversation, then would not be in the bathroom. That was for sure .
“If you just wanted to get me in bed, Goldie, you could have simply asked.” She grinned at me and I felt my mouth turn upwards, as well. My heart was drumming beneath my rib cage by only thinking about having her in bed with me in a proper way. Not the comforting cuddles we shared since her accident.
I wanted to feel her filthy mouth wrapped around my cock, finally quiet and unable to shoot me sassy comments anymore. She always appeared so strong as if nothing could even worry her a tiny bit, but I wanted to feel her crumble and fall apart in my arms when I was buried deep inside of her. My only goal was to finally mark her as mine.
Clearing my throat in utter shock about the drift my mind had made, I nodded my head towards the door, but Eliana’s gaze was locked with mine, and for a short moment, I was scared she knew exactly what I was thinking about. The growing bulge in my shorts might have been an indicator, but I refused to think she realized.
Slowly, she turned around and made her way back into the bedroom, letting herself fall on the mattress with a thud before contorting her face in a pained expression.
“Forgot,” she explained before I could even express my concern verbally.
“You forgot your broken leg? Even with that monstrosity covering it that is actually hard to miss?” My eyebrow raised so high that it was probably seen from the ISS .
“You get used to it quicker than you might think, Peter.”
I rounded the bed to carefully slide under the blanket on the other side, patting my thigh for Eli to scoot closer. She followed suit and placed her head on my chest. It molded into me right away, as if both of our bodies were sculptured to lie like this for the rest of our lives.
“Tell me, Goldie.”
“What?”
“What you’re sorry for. Because I don’t see anything you did that you should be sorry for.”
I took a deep breath, watching her entire upper body raise and lower with my movement. It was almost comical.
“Back in high school we always rivaled about who became the class's best. Every damn year. I enjoyed this a lot, because until I met you, no one actually had a chance to steal that title from me. You were the first real challenge and I liked this a lot.”
“Humility is not one of your characteristics, isn’t it?” Eli laughed. I wrapped my arm around her middle and placed it respectfully on her hip.
“Shut your pretty mouth for a second. Can you do that for me? I’m trying to explain myself here.”
She put her fingers to her mouth and symbolic zipped her mouth closed, turning an imaginary key and placing it in the palm of my free hand. The gesture was small and playful, but it meant the world to me because it symbolized trust .
I cleared my throat afterwards, using this short moment to sort my feelings before I started to explain.
“For me, it had always been only that: a challenge. But for you, this was more than only a little game between two intelligent students with a bright future.”
I felt her stiffen on top of me and the guilt crawled back because with my stupid speech, I forced her to relive that terror mentally.
Wonderful, Peter. You really are a fucking asshole.
“It’s not your fault,” she whispered, but all of the confidence I loved so much about her had vanished into dust. I felt my heart crumbling by the sight of the traumatized Eliana, same as it had when I first saw her like this a couple of days ago.
“It might not be my fault, but if I had known what this asshole was doing to you, I would have stopped. The mere imagination of him raising his hand against you just because I had a better grade in an exam than you, made my stomach turn.”
“The vomiting…” Eliana Richard had always been the smarter one of us, so it wasn’t a surprise that she understood this right away. The only reason I had always won the title of class’s best was that I was following the rules of school better than her. I’d always decide to not speak up and simply follow the flow instead of standing up for anything I felt wasn’t correct. Eliana had always done that and secretly, I’d admire her for it. Maybe this was one of the reasons life had always drawn me back into her cosmos, because she had the balls I always hoped to grow one day .
“Yeah, the vomiting. I am so, so sorry that this happened to you just because my ego wanted to win this stupid game. If you just had said something then…then I’d stop immediately, Eli. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I probably sounded more desperate than I intended to, because I felt her propping herself up on her elbows so she could look me in the eyes.
“This is not your fault, Peter. There is only one person to blame.”
“Your father,” I added, scared to death she would blame herself for it, because I didn’t know if my heart would take that. Victim’s guilt was very common, I’d seen it in Lynn and Nate, and all the trauma these two had gone through the past couple of months.
“My father,” she agreed thankfully, but I couldn’t stop myself from searching her eyes for a lie. They looked sincere and I felt myself let out a long breath.
“Why didn’t you say something?” I repeated the question she purposely avoided.
“This is my war to fight, Goldie.” Eliana smiled at me, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“Not anymore, Cinnamon.”
Her brows rushed upwards in a confused expression, but I didn’t give her a chance to counter me.
“You’re not alone anymore, Eli. I told you that I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe from him. You don’t have to fight alone anymore. I’m by your side now.”
Rare tears gathered in her eyes, but they weren’t a result of weakness, because there’s one thing Eliana Richards would never be in my eyes: weak.
In fact, she was the strongest woman I’ve ever met. Despite all circumstances in her life, a father who tried to break her over and over again, an asshole guy at high school and college that made her life harder than it should have been, Eliana Richards was still standing strong or, well, currently laying here in bed with me. Me, the asshole.
She’d fought her entire life and it was about damn time that someone was having her back. I now understood her deep connection with Mihaela, because she’d been the only one supporting Eli through all this. I made a mental note to send Mihaela a message and thank her.
“I should have let you in my life earlier.” She chuckled, clearly her way of coping with the emotions that were overwhelming her.
“It’s never too late to start new,” I responded and reached out my right hand towards her. Eli was alternating her gaze from my hand to my face, not understanding what I was trying to do.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. My name’s Peter and I think we’re in the same task force.”
The sides of her mouth shot up into a wide grin when she gripped my hand and awkwardly shook it while we were still half-cuddling in bed.
“I’m Eliana, but my friends call me Eli. Nice to meet you, Peter. ”
“Eli,” I whispered with a smirk, my thumb carefully brushing over her hand in a tender movement. She held my gaze and I saw the sparkle in her eyes I grew so fond of.
Eliana Richard, I swear I’ll protect you no matter what it’ll cost. You’re not alone anymore. You’re mine.