Chapter Sixteen
Another day, another sunset.
Lysabel was sitting on the stone bench in the garden, watching her daughters as they chased three little bunnies through the flowers.
The evening was approaching, but Lysabel just couldn’t seem to summon the energy to collect her children and head into the keep.
In truth, since Trenton had left Wellesbourne, she couldn’t seem to summon the will to do much of anything.
The days dragged on and the nights were even worse.
Her mind was filled with Trenton from one moment to the next, missing the man as she’d never missed anyone in her life.
But that longing was tempered by what her mother had said, about the long-term effects that an illicit romance would have on the family.
The more she thought about it, the more pressure she felt, like a great hammer beating her mother’s words into her skull.
Even in her sleep, they pounded into her.
Her decision to engage in an affair with Trenton would bring the entire family down.
Her father, and everything he had worked for, would be damage by her actions.
Her unmarried brothers would be affected, as would her own daughters when they came of marriageable age.
She couldn’t condemn Cynethryn or Brencis, or even the child she carried in her belly, to a life of disadvantage because of her actions.
The parting words her mother left her with were words she couldn’t get out of her head.
You must do what is right, for all of us.
It had been five days since Trenton had left.
Five days of anguish, and of reflection, as Lysabel could think of nothing but him.
But her mother’s words had her reconsidering everything.
Perhaps she couldn’t really be happy with a man of her choosing; perhaps she had to do the right thing, as her mother said, and sacrifice her happiness so that her family could be spared her shame.
God, she hated being a martyr.
As sunset approached and the sky began to turn shades of blue and purple, she could hear that there was something going on in the bailey on the other side of the garden wall.
She could hear men and horses, meaning an escort or an army of some kind had arrived for the night.
It was probably just some traveling lord seeking shelter, but Lysabel had no interest in whatever was going on.
The past several days, she didn’t care about much of anything.
Time passed and the sun sank further on the horizon.
The girls lost the bunnies somewhere in the garden, but they found a fat orange cat that wanted to be loved, so Cynethryn picked the cat up, its long legs dangling down her body, as she headed in her mother’s direction.
Brencis trotted alongside, trying to pet the kitty.
“Mummy!” Cynethryn cried. “Look what I found!”
Lysabel smiled weakly as her daughter brought the cat over and put it on the bench beside her. It was a friendly kitty, and they all took a turn petting the soft orange fur.
“He is very nice,” Lysabel said.
Brencis was more aggressive in showing her affection; she picked the cat up and hugged it. “I love him,” she declared. “Can I take him to my chamber? Can I have him?”
“I found him!” Cynethryn said, unhappily. “He is mine!”
Lysabel put her hand up before a squabble could start. “I think the cat would like to have both of you loving him,” she said. “I do not care if he comes inside, but make sure he is fed and goes outside when you go to sleep.”
“But why does he have to go outside at night?” Brencis asked seriously. “He needs a bed to sleep on.”
“He needs to go outside at night because that is when cats hunt for their dinners.”
The voice came from the garden gate, which had just swung open.
Lysabel, Cynethryn, and Brencis looked over to see Trenton standing in the archway, smiling wearily at the three of them.
One look at Trenton and the girls screamed, rushing him in delight.
He ended up picking them both up as they furiously hugged him, with Brencis hugging him so excitedly that she smacked him in the throat.
“Trenton!” the little girl squealed. “You came back, you came back!”
“Aye, I came back,” Trenton said, coughing because she’d hit him in the Adam’s apple. “I am back and what do I see? No ponies being ridden. Are they still lame?”
As he set the girls to their feet, Cynethryn nodded. “My pony’s leg is still sore,” she said sadly. “But Sir Ranse found us new ponies to ride until they get better.”
Trenton put his hand on her head. “That was very nice of de Troyes,” he said. “Have you ridden his ponies today?”
Brencis was hanging on to his other hand excitedly. “My pony is black and white,” she said. “He tries to bite me. I do not love him as much as I love Snowdrop.”
Trenton grinned at the child. “I am sure Snowdrop is happy to have your loyalty,” he said.
Then, his gaze trailed up to Lysabel, who was standing up by now.
When their eyes met, it was as if a bolt of lightning went through him.
He’d never been so glad to see anyone in his life. “Greetings, my lady.”
That soft, gentle tone nearly undid Lysabel.
She was already startled by his appearance, weakened beyond measure.
She wanted to run to him like the girls had, but she didn’t.
She remained where she was, watching her girls as they fawned over the man.
She thought it was very sweet, in fact, because they’d never shown their father such affection.
It was nice to see that they could display such love to a man who had, in turn, been so kind to them.
They wanted to love, and be loved, and Trenton gave them that opportunity.
It was one more thing to love about the man.
“Greetings,” she said after a moment. “I… I did not know when you would return.”
Trenton nodded, unable to take his eyes from her even though the girls were tugging on him. “I know.”
“Does my father know you are here?”
He shook his head, unwilling to answer with Brencis and Cynethryn at his feet. He smiled down at the girls, giving Lysabel the hint that perhaps he couldn’t speak freely in front of them. Immediately, she clapped her hands.
“Ladies,” she said, softly but sternly. “Stop pulling at Sir Trenton. Go inside and wash your face and hands and once you have done that, find Grandmother and tell her you would like to help with supper.”
Brencis had hold of Trenton’s big fingers, dragging at him. “Will you come to sup?”
She was asking Trenton, but Lysabel answered. “You will see him later,” she said. “Go, now. Do as I say.”
The girls obeyed, but it took them a moment. Neither one of them would leave until Trenton promised he would see them later, and then they happily skipped away. Once they had cleared the garden and they heard the old iron gate slam, Lysabel looked at Trenton.
“Why are you here?” she asked quietly. “My father said he told you not to come back.”
Trenton took a few steps towards her, his eyes glittering. “He did,” he murmured. “But I cannot stay away. I love you, Lysabel. There; I’ve said it. I love you and I want us to be together.”
His admission brought tears to her eyes. “Oh… Trenton,” she gasped, her hand going to her mouth. “I love you, too. But we cannot…”
She shook her head, wiping her eyes as she trailed off.
Trenton took another step in her direction.
“I do not know how much time I will have before Uncle Matthew runs out here and chases me off at the tip of a sword, so I must say what I have come to say,” he said quickly.
“Lysabel, I want you to come away with me now. I want you to gather the girls and we are going to leave this very night.”
She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Leave?” she gasped. “And go where?”
“I have other properties,” he said. “I have a hunting lodge at Hawkridge, set deep in the forest north of Warminster, near Trowbridge. It’s a nice little place and we could take the girls and live there until I can secure something bigger, something worthy of you.
But you would be happy at Hawkridge, I swear it. ”
Lysabel could see the earnest desire on his face and it cut her to the bone. He was still living in that fantasy world, but after her discussion with her mother, that world had all but dissolved for Lysabel. As much as she didn’t want to admit that, in her heart, she knew it.
“Trenton,” she said. “As much as I love you and as much as I want to go with you, I am afraid that I cannot.”
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Why can’t you go?”
Looking at him, Lysabel knew that this was going to be the most difficult thing she’d ever done in her life.
He was within arm’s reach; it would be so easy to grab hold of him and never let go.
But her mother’s words were echoing in her head, telling her that she needed to make the right choice, for everyone.
The right choice wasn’t Trenton.
“Because I cannot do such a thing to my family,” she murmured.
“You and I have been living in a wonderful world, a world of hope and dreams, but the truth is that there is no such world. The reality is that we live in a world of consequences, and as much as it pains me to say this, my decision to go with you will jeopardize my entire family. It would be so easy to ignore them, and to be selfish, but the truth is that my choice to go with you has far-reaching implications. My father, for one; he has an excellent reputation. What will happen to him when his daughter becomes the mistress of a married man? Think of the respect he will lose.”
As Trenton realized what she was saying, his eyes grew wide and confused. “But…”